Just a "blank" amount of things I've noticed about the anime. Things that could have gone different, and what not. Just read and hopefully enjoy the results of my insanity.
All pretty random, and just things that pop out of my head. Most of it probably isn't cannon, or can be argued as non-cannon.
Really I don't care, some of it is pure au.
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When your average person looks at Gai and Kakashi, they are sympathetic to Kakashi, thinking that he would ram a chidori through Gai's chest if he could get away with it. The truth is much different. Gai reminds Kakashi of Obito, in a good way. He gives Kakashi a reason to laugh, even if he hides it in a dirty book with a perverted giggle. He keeps Kakashi sane, so after every bloody mission, after every morning he spends at the memorial stone, he goes and bugs Gai, and listens to him rant about flaming youth, or some crap like that. He never really knows just what Gai means by that.
Gai knows this, and acts all the more insane around Kakashi because of it. He knows how much the man needs to laugh after all he's been through. The truth is, the two are the best of friends, its why in a fight, only the most hardened opponents stand against the two, both of them know each other too well. They don't move like two teammates, they move like they know what the other is thinking. The truth is though, they do. They know each other that well.
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The few that know this mistakenly believe the two are lovers, FAR from it. Both are straight as an arrow, in fact they quite often go to bars outside of Konohana, where they aren't that well known, looking somewhat normal, and by each other (and a few ladies) some drinks. They are back in town the next morning, acting just the same, and loving it. The truth is, they BOTH get kicks out of people assuming they are lovers, and leave little clues about it, just to amuse themselves, then go out of town, get drunk, get laid, and come back home. In that order.
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Out of all of Konohana's shinobi, only the Sannin and the third hokage have been ninja longer than Kakashi. Most don't realize this, but Kakashi was a gennin at the age of five. He didn't go up through the ranks as fast as Itachi for one reason only. Arashi, his sensei, wouldn't let him. He wanted Kakashi to be a child first. Truthfully this is the only reason Kakashi didn't become the fifth.
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If Kakashi's sensei had let him move up the ranks faster Kakashi would have been a jounin at the age of 9, not 12, and wouldn't have broken his father's dagger fighting against that rock shinobi. With it, and the legendary white chakra of the Hatake clan, he would become the third youngest hokage after his sensei's death. Things would be much different then. Itachi wouldn't have left, simply because having served under Kakashi, and having been his successor as commandant of the ANBU special assassination squad, when the man became hokage, he would realize that Kakashi and Arashi were right, people made you stronger, not powers, or blood limits. And when Kakashi would trade his life for Orochimaru's with a white chakra chidori channeled through his father's dagger almost tearing the man in half, while the Kusanagi sword impaled his chest, He, Itachi, would be the first blood limit baring Hokage, becoming the fifth instead of Tsunade.
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This wouldn't be the only change. Kakashi would have changed how Naruto was treated, placing the young man under Itachi's care after he FINALY (after several years of trying) got the young man to realize where true strength came from. Naruto would have been trained from a young age to fight the sharingan and would have had family (somewhat of one at least). When eventually Sasuke defected (because he never learned where strength came from, only turning to hatred of his brother once he made hokage) Naruto would drag his ass through the gates, both of Sasuke's eyes missing and trails of blood going down his cheeks. When Itachi would see this, he would turn to Naruto, smile, pat him on the shoulder and tell him how proud he was of his son (neither of them would ever care that they weren't related by blood). He would then turn to Sasuke and drag him away, killing him the second that they were out of sight, fully disgusted beyond all belief of his younger brother (who he never considered family, an irony that made him and Naruto laugh whenever they thought about it). His father would lead a revolt alongside Danzo years later, only for the anbu commandant, Naruto Uzimaki, to slaughter them all for daring to threaten his hokage. But more than that, for threatening his only father. Afterwards, Itachi would take a long hard look at him, and let him know that he was now the sixth Hokage, then tell him (jokingly) that if Konohana wasn't in flames in a year's time, he would buy Naruto all the ramen he could eat.
A year later a certain hokage would be taken to the hospital for overeating, and as his predecessor following him, Itachi would wear a smile the whole way, even while acting the part of a worried father.
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There was a reason Orochimaru's eyes were like snakes, and it wasn't because he had a snake demon in his gut.
Its because in order to gain the snake summons, he gave them his soul. The terms were that once he died, they would devour his soul.
That's why he was obsessed with gaining ever lasting life, not because he needed it to master every jutsu (that was a nice little excuse though) no, it was to keep his soul from being eaten by the snake summons. That's why he was so scared of the death god, after all he had witnessed the bargain. It's why he wanted to be immortal… to stop those snakes from getting his soul.
It was also the reason that the Third couldn't seal Orochimaru's soul. The death god wouldn't let him, how ever, the agreement never said that the snakes would get all of Orochimaru's soul. The snake summons have never trusted the death god to witness a pact sense.
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When a little blond girl ran over and helped a pink hared girl with a large forehead, it was because this nice boy with gray hair and glasses had said she should.
When a raven hared boy who wanted nothing more than to look at clouds noticed a over weight boy getting picked on, the only reason he did anything was because a certain gray hared boy said his mother would be angry if he didn't.
When blond boy who wondered why everyone hated him walked along a lake and saw a black hared boy that was just as alone as him. It was only because a nice, really nice, boy with gray hair and told him that there were no mean adults over there to hurt him.
When a young boy bumped into a boy that was collecting bugs, and then dragged him off to look at the flees on Akamaru's coat, it was only because this boy with really big glasses and a pony tail had told him that he could make a new friend that way.
The truth is; no one ever realized just how long Kabuto had played as a spy. The truth is, no one will ever know who he really serves, that's because his masters don't even know. So every time he moves his glasses just so that they reflect the light and hide his eyes, its because he doesn't want anyone to see where he's eyes are looking right then. Because he knows, the eyes are the gateway to the soul. Its through the eyes that Orochimaru's soul flies in order to steal a body after all, and Kabuto knows that all too well. He doesn't want anyone to know that he's looking at his master right then.
What would shock people, is that nine times out of ten… he's looking in Naruto's direction. Or more correctly; in Kyuubi's direction.
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What most people never realized about Kabuto, when he showed up with the nin-cards, it was to help Naruto not Sasuke.
When he taunted Naruto during their fight, telling him to run away and live, that it was stupid to gamble with his life, he did it to get Naruto angry, because he knew Naruto always fought better when he was angry.
Years later, the two would meet. And Kabuto would explain that ever sense he can remember he has served Kyuubi, that it was at Kyuubi's orders that he served Sasori, then Orochimaru. Then he will look Naruto in his eyes, for once not moving his glasses so that they hid where he was looking, and would say, "Naruto-kun… you'll become a fine Hokage. I'll follow you into hell if that's where you're going. But if say… you want to kill a certain snake…" he would then grin and finish saying, "then I know a few ways to get some snake skin wallets out of him while your at it…"
Which would cause Naruto to laugh uproariously, slapping his knee, and proclaim that Kabuto was a decent guy after all. After shocking his "master" by leading Naruto right into his sleeping chambers, then helping said fox-like ninja kill him. Kabuto would then follow Naruto home, only to nearly be killed by Kakashi, Sakura, Neji, Yamato, Kankuro, Gai, Kurenai, Asuma, Gaara, Temari, Baki, Tenten, Lee, Kiba, Shino, Hinata, Shikamaru, Choiji, Iruka, Ino, Ibiki, Gemna, Ebisu, and a few nameless chuunin guards, would he FINALY meet Tsunade. Who would also try to kill him, only for Naruto to stop each attempt, laughing his ass off the whole DAMN way. Kabuto would laugh in a good natured years later saying it was just a little expected, if very annoying (by which he means scary as hell).
After this whole debacle and everything was explained, Kabuto would move into the same apartment complex Naruto lived in. He would do so, claiming he only had enough money to rent that apartment, although everyone that knew him, knew it was a lie, he was instated as an elite jounin after all, they do get paid pretty well.
But they would all laugh and shrug it off, after all he was Kabuto, and good guy or not, Kabuto will always be strange, and next to impossible to predict.
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After Kabuto came back, he would have lines of fangirls, he would often joke that the Sasuke fanclub and just targeted him instead. But after turning them down (if MUCH more gently than Sasuke ever had) time and again, rumors would erupt that he and Naruto were lovers.
This idea would be confounded by two girls, Hinata and Ayame saying very loudly (although at different times and places) "I KNOW he's not gay, he proves it to me almost every other night!"
Both would then blush so brightly that one would think every ounce of blood in their bodies was in their cheeks. Hinata would faint afterwards, because her boyfriend Naruto Uzimaki himself would turn the corner right then, only for him to catch her. Ayame? She wouldn't be so lucky. Only after a good 15 minute run would she make it to Kabuto's apartment, and be saved from angry fangirls by her night in shining armor, or at least her shinobi with shiny glasses.
When Sakura, Tenten, Ino, and Temari heard of this, they would laugh so hard that they would roll on the ground, crying from laughter.
Later that night as the four walked to their shared apartment, having to hang onto each other to keep from falling on the ground because they are STILL laughing. This would then spawn rumors that the four of them were lovers.
This would cause many males to have many naughty thoughts, and many wiser males (in other words, the men that actual knew them) to simply laugh, and shake their heads.
It would also cause one male by the name of Neji to say (in a rare moment of stupidity) out loud, "Wait… I know that Ino is straight, she's proven it to me enough times…"
Later that night Ino would teach him why she was Ibiki's prodigy. Later the next day Inochi would attempt to scare Neji way from his daughter. When he failed horribly, he would ask what she was worth to him. Neji would reply with, "I don't really know…" and walk away.
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Ino would later confront him about that answer. Neji would answer truthfully, "I'm not sure how much you're worth to me, because I cant compare you to anything else…"
Later that night he would wish he had bought more condoms.
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The original Ino-Shika-Cho group's success wasn't biased on teamwork as most people thought.
The fact is, it's pretty hard to catch people in shadows when their running from one man that has inflated himself into the size of a small house and is rolling around like a boulder trying to squash them.
It's also pretty hard to take control of their body while their doing that.
The fact is, it's pretty hard for Inochi, or Shikaku to do much of anything once Chouza goes rolling around.
The reason they worked so well?
Easy, Inochi is a scary motherfucker when he gets pissed, or people think he's a woman, Chouza is too damn stubborn to ever quit, or let a friend get hurt.
And Shikaku? He just rocks at killing people. Normally he acts calm, and relaxed, but the truth? In battle his blood sings. He gets, for lack of a better word, pumped. Most Nara men are like this. Complacent and lazy as hell normally, but in a fight with a blade in their hands (or a jutsu in the air) they turn down right bloodthirsty. Shikaku is abnormal in the fact that he can control it; that's why his son has never known this little fact. His father never wanted him to know that the clan was like that.
Most never wanted to work with them, simply because of that.
The three of them worked well because they just wouldn't stop, they were all too stubborn, they didn't work well together naturally, they MADE their techniques and styles mesh, simply out of pure grit.
So when people use them as a shinning example of teamwork, they laugh, go have a few drinks. Then they go on a dangerous mission and slaughter a few jounin, maybe a squad or two, then go back home and have a victory drink.
The fact is every squad that the rock, or cloud, trained to take them down failed, simply because they couldn't predict them. Between Inochi just going fucking crazy throwing kunai with exploding tags on them everywhere, Chouza rolling around trying to crush you, or turning into a giant and just trying to fucking stomp on you, then Shikaku chasing after you with a kunai, a fucking crazy grin on his face, simply had the squads too busy trying to get the fuck away to even think of killing them.
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Tenten is probably the most unique of the female shinobi of her generation to come out of Konohana.
Yes, she has a crush on a damn powerful ninja with a tragic past.
Yes she puts her hair up in some style.
Yes she wears something that doesn't look even remotely shinobi like.
But the fact is, she doesn't give a fuck if Neji thinks she looks cute with her hair like that, or wearing this shirt, or that one.
She didn't become a ninja to get him to like her.
She doesn't dream of marrying him one day.
Because, she knows it's a crush. She doesn't pretend its love like the others do.
This is because she knows one important fact.
You don't fucking fall in love at the age of 11. Or 12. Or 13. Or even 15.
She knows that love takes time.
She also knows that being married to Neji would be hell. As much as dating him might be fun, she knows that she doesn't want to be married ANY time soon.
She also does little things like, training. And not just for a man.
She takes being a shinobi seriously. She doesn't need any fucking man. She doesn't need his approval. She doesn't go out of her way to get him to be hers.
She simply flirts a little when it won't get in the way of anything important, then walks off, swaying her hips. And if it doesn't work? Then she goes and throws a few kunai at a few targets, hits them all, then watches a sappy romance flick.
Then the next day she remains professional. No tears. No throwing herself at him, begging him to take her. She doesn't cling to him every chance she gets, or faints if he sees her.
It doesn't crush her when he says that one word, "no".
That's why Neji, even though being colder than Sasuke, has never said, "you're annoying".
Well that and he knows that she would (and could) castrate him in a second if he did.
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