Sebastian stepped into Jim's office, his feet falling silently on the carpet. He raised an eyebrow at the mess within; Jim had been working for days on his current operation, and as such there were sheets of paper taped over the white boards and multi-colored notes scribbled in the space around the papers. Jim was currently sitting in the middle of his ring of computers, pivoting in his seat and typing furiously on various keyboards while pausing to scribble more notes in a pad.

"Jim." Sebastian knew that it would take a much more forceful announcement of his presence to gain Jim's attention, but he felt common courtesy dictated that he started out gently before taking more drastic approaches. He walked right up to Jim's desk, then, laying his hand flat on the top of it and leaning forward until he was inches from Jim's face. He snapped his fingers sharply, causing Jim to jump as Sebastian called out his name once again. "You said you wanted a status report?"

"Yes, of course." Jim tried to pivot his chair around to begin typing on another computer, but Sebastian smacked his hand down on the back of the chair and prevented it from rotating away from him. "Seb," Jim gave him a reprimanding look. "I'm working."

"Yes, and I was getting ready to talk to you. You're supposed to look at people when they're speaking to you."

Jim rolled his eyes, but then made a show of turning squarely in his chair to face Sebastian and tucking his hands in his laps as if he were a school boy waiting for the lecture to begin. Sebastian fought down the urge to smile fondly at Jim's antics before he began reciting his report.

"They package was delivered to the Yard successfully, as per your orders. Unable to identify the remains, DI Lestrade called in Sherlock for him to have a second look. Sherlock correctly ID-ed the bones of Thomas Jay from evidence of prior reconstructive surgery on the left femur. The other three were then identified based upon their association to Jay."

A small smirk pulled at Jim's lips. He hadn't shown up at all for Sebastian's dealings with his attackers until the very last day. Oh, and it had lasted days. Jim had to admit that he was impressed by Seb's ingenuity. He had hardly made any suggestions at all concerning their "treatment," preferring instead to tuck himself away in his office to plan for after they were dealt with, but Seb's creativity had surprised even Jim and sent a little shiver of pride up his spine as he looked over Seb's handiwork. It was almost artistically done, really. He was forced to look at Sebastian's hands in a whole new light after seeing what he had done to the four men, and even now he found himself staring at those gifted hands and wondering just what else they were capable of doing.

"Go on," he instructed.

"Sherlock immediately deduced the identity of the murderer," he met Jim's eyes and smiled ever so slightly. "But did not report it to Lestrade because of John's involvement. They received the anonymous call about the "body" shortly thereafter. They arrived on the scene, found the clue you left, and are currently on the trail."

"Good. Very good." Jim leaned back in his chair and smiled up at the ceiling. John had said that he would need to find his own way to thank him; Jim rather thought that his methods were quite clever. On the one hand, he got rid of four little problems, and he also got to send Sherlock on a very amusing case. Oh, this one would keep Sherlock occupied for days, probably a little over a week, if Sherlock did everything as he predicted. Which he would, of course. Jim knew Sherlock's mind probably better than he knew his own. Yes, Sherlock would be very entertained by this game, and John would be glad to have something to stave off the boredom.

"What do you want me to do now?"

Jim waved a hand uncaringly. "Just have the surveillance keep up. Make sure that all the clues are planted in the proper location. Oh, and if they stop to eat, have one of our men take care of the bill and the like."

"Right," Sebastian frowned, looking Jim over to make sure he was still well. He had tried to force Jim to stay in bed as per John's orders, but he had been up and preparing to organize this whole event just three days after they returned home from the hospital. Sebastian, of course, had kept an eye on him and practically carried him back to bed on multiple occasions. Jim, as was expected, put up a fight every time, but he almost always collapsed in a heap on his bed to sleep for the rest of the day in the end. It became a sort of strange routine for them, really.

Sebastian had gladly taken reign over dealing with the thugs that had attacked Jim. Once Jim had finally disclosed their identities (he had refused to do so earlier, afraid that Sebastian would rush off and ruin his plan, and rightly so), Sebastian had carefully tracked them down and made life a living hell for them for days before he had actually abducted them. Honestly, part of the thrill was watching them panic as they realized that they were being targeted. He had carefully planned every act of violence he would commit against them to ensure the longest possible amount of suffering. In the end, he couldn't help but indulge his poetic side, and he didn't kill them until the one month anniversary of their assault of Jim. He was sure that Jim and his propensity for dramatics approved.

After that, Jim took control of the arrangements. Well, he took control in that he ordered other people to do the nasty work of cleaning the bodies such that there was nothing but bones left. Sebastian was rather glad of this; he would more than happily kill for Jim, but digging around in corpses wasn't his cup of tea. He had then sat back and watched in amusement as Jim began toppling the ring of dominoes he had built for Sherlock's pleasure. It was just a bit of housecleaning, really. Some minor competition had sprung up while Jim's operation had been running on neutral, and they had to be taken out of the picture, of course. By the end of this little game of Jim's, a money laundering operation, a political blackmailer, some racketeers, and a drug trafficking ring would all be broken up. The important thing, however, was that it entertain Sherlock while also avoiding murder, at least, murder beyond the initial four victims. Dr. Watson did so seem to hate it when Jim killed people.

Setting it up without killing had been tricky. Lestrade didn't often call in Sherlock unless bodies were involved, so Jim had arranged for one of the members of the drug trafficking ring to be poisoned with a heavy paralytic. To the casual observer, they would appear dead, but a medical examiner would notice that they were still breathing at least a little bit. Probably. Sebastian didn't think that Jim would really mind if there was a little slip up and the trafficker ended up dead on accident. Anyway, the "body" had been placed in a location where it was guaranteed to be found within minutes, Sherlock had subsequently been called to the scene, and all the pieces of Jim's puzzle fell so prettily into place.

"What are you doing now?" Sebastian tried to make sense of Jim's nearest computer screen, but he knew it was a pointless endeavor. Half the time he thought that Jim typed in a language he had made himself. He wouldn't put it past the genius to have a whole language all his own. "You promised you would rest after John's gift was set up."

"This is rest. I'm writing up a program for a new video game."

"No, that's not rest. Rest involves eating a decent meal and laying down on a bed."

Jim stared up at Sebastian with his eyebrows raised. "It's two in the afternoon."

"Doesn't matter." Sebastian straightened himself up to his full height in preparation of a struggle. "John said that you'll need at least twelve hours of sleep every day, and at my last count you've only had eight in the past three days. Now," he put on a disarmingly pleasant smile, "are you going to come quietly, or will I have to force you?"

Jim cocked his head to the side for a moment, as if seriously considering what he wanted to do. Slowly, a slight smirk grew across his lips. "Mm," he hummed. "I think you're going to have to force me, darling. I can't say that I'm much in the mood for bed at the moment."

Sebastian rolled his eyes but stepped around the desk nevertheless to haul Jim up from his chair. He was surprised, however, when, instead of writhing and acting like a human model of a Gumbi doll as he usually did in these situations, Jim simply fell boneless in Sebastian's arms, his dead weight nearly making Sebastian drop him onto the ground.

"Jesus, Jim!" Sebastian exclaimed. "Do you have to act like such child?"

"Absolutely," Jim smirked up at him. "It's a lot more fun this way. If you insist on being boring by making me go to bed, I'll just have to make it more entertaining."

"Yeah, well if I drop you, it's not going to be my fault." He grunted as he dragged Jim up and began hauling him towards the bedroom. He held Jim around his waist, forced to walk backwards slowly and awkwardly as he carefully made sure that Jim wasn't put in any actual risk of falling. Jim merely stared up at him, his chin propped on Sebastian's chest while he grinned up at him. Other than wrapping his arms loosely around Sebastian's neck, he made no motions to make the process any easier.

"You know, Jim, there are probably a multitude of more dignified ways of getting to bed."

"Yes," Jim's smile hitched a little wider, "but none of them involve seeing you all flushed and frustrated. And I do so love seeing you flushed and frustrated." As if to prove his point, he adjusted his hands behind Sebastian's neck, causing a little spark of heat to ripple down Sebastian's spine. He wasn't sure if Jim intentionally caressed his fingers so slowly over the sensitive nerves at the base of his neck, but it sure as hell felt like it.

"One day," Sebastian stated with far more self-restraint and control than he was feeling. "I'm not going to be here, and you're going to start pushing my replacement around, and then they're going to snap and break your little neck. I think it would be best if you'd start working on breaking these habits of yours before they become a problem."

"Oh, but that would never happen."

"What?"

"You dying before me. Or me even bothering to replace you if you did."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means," Jim rolled his eyes as if he was being forced to explain why there were four seasons, "That if anything ever happened to you, I would follow you shortly thereafter."

"Okay," Sebastian frowned. "You do realize that we're both going to hell, right?"

Jim beamed up at him, actually looking strangely excited at the thought of an afterlife. "And I'll love you still in hell."

Sebastian really did drop Jim that time around. Fortunately, Jim seemed not to mind too much and managed to catch himself so that he simply plopped down on the ground with a light "oof." Sebastian stared down at the man sprawled at his feet, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to form a logical, coherent reaction to Jim's casual proclamation of love.

"Jim...that's...I..."

"It's okay if you don't-"

"No, Jim, I do. I just wasn't expecting...Well, I didn't think..."

"Are you really that dense?" Jim's eyebrows arched upwards, and his expression said that he was very concerned for the functionality of Sebastian's brain. "I thought I couldn't make it any more obvious."

"Obvious?" Sebastian sat down on the floor across from Jim, raking his fingers through his hair as he tried to calm himself. He really didn't want to look like a love-sick school girl at a time like this. "Jim, you flirt with anything and everything that's living. For a while, I thought you were trying to get off with Sherlock because of how you acted with him. And with me...Well, I don't know, it wasn't that clear, I guess."

"Hm," Jim cocked his head to the side and chewed his lip a bit, thinking what Sebastian had said over. "So I'm a flirt?"

"Well, yeah. When you're not being a condescending tosser."

"Oh." Jim shifted restlessly, pulling his knees up under his chin as he felt a sickening twisting in his gut. He was suddenly and unpleasantly reminded of what Anthony had said to him in the showers. Jim couldn't help but wince as the repulsive memories dragged themselves to the surface of his mind.

"Jim, what's wrong?" Sebastian scooted closer to Jim until their feet were touching, but he was startled when Jim quickly recoiled.

"Nothing. I'm fine." Jim felt ill in so many hideous ways, and he he felt it unusually cruel for this moment to be ruined by the black shadows stirring in the recesses of his memory.

"What's wrong with you? You've been asking for it for months now. I'm just giving you what you want."

The nausea hit with such force that it felt like a punch to the gut. Jim quickly staggered to his feet and made his way to the bathroom, dropping to his knees just in time to spew the contents of his stomach into the toilet. He was vaguely aware of Sebastian standing in the background, stroking his back, and wondering off to collect some juice, but Jim was too busy working himself up into the throes of a panic attack to take much notice. Once he was done convulsively emptying his stomach, Jim curled against the wall, little shivers causing his spine to vibrate against the plaster.

"Jim?" Sebastian crouched down and stared at him, concern causing him to look worn and older than he was. "I brought you some juice. Do you want it?" Considering the chocolate milk incident, he figured that it was best to ask just in case he unintentionally triggered some more unsavory memories.

Jim nodded, but he otherwise didn't make any motions to retrieve the glass. Sebastian understood, however, and simply remained crouched near him, ready should he ask for anything else. Slowly, Jim seemed to return to himself as the shaking subsided and he opened his eyes to stare listlessly at the floor. Finally he reached out and took the glass, swishing the juice in his mouth to get rid of the foul taste of bile.

"What happened, Jim? You don't think it's a problem with your head, do you?" He leaned around so he could peer more closely into Jim's eyes, checking for uneven dilation, but they appeared okay. Still, Jim did not look well. He was far too pale, and his fingers were trembling as they picked at his slacks.

"It was my fault," he murmured, the words alone causing fresh tremors to run their way down his sides. "I was flirting with him, and I was asking for it, and I didn't mean to, but I-" His voice caught as his breath hitched, and Sebastian realized that the breakdown which he had been half expecting since they arrived back home from the hospital was imminent.

"Why don't we go to your room, Jim, okay? Is it alright if I help you?" Having been granted permission by Jim's weak nod, Sebastian quickly collected him into his arms and carried him down the hallway and into the room. He sat Jim down on the bed before going off to get an additional collection of drinks and the bottle of pain medication that John had given them. By the time he returned, Jim had already kicked off his shoes and curled up on the bed, his face half burrowed into a pillow as tears pooled in his eyes. Sebastian dutifully sat next to him, waiting for Jim to give a sign as to whether he wanted to be left alone or consoled. He didn't have to wait long for his sign, as Jim had migrated such that his head was in Sebastian's lap within minutes.

They sat together like that for well over an hour. Just when Sebastian thought that Jim was beginning to calm himself down, he would shudder and the whole process would start anew. Luckily, he wasn't ill any more, but he was still unnaturally pale and shaking. Sebastian did his best to help, mimicking the way John had comforted Jim during the chocolate milk incident at the hospital. He would place a hand on Jim's back or shoulder, or card fingers through his hair all the while murmuring mindless little words of comfort. He wasn't sure why he kept telling Jim that everything was going to be alright, because it obviously wasn't, but it felt like the sort of thing John would have said.

Finally, Jim took one last long, shuddering breath and he simply fell silent, now laying still as a statue across Sebastian's lap. Sebastian waited a few minutes before pulling Jim up so that he was sitting with his back against the head board and leaning against Sebastian's side while Sebastian fished some painkillers out of the bottle and handed him a glass. Jim obediently took the pills, then dropped his head onto Sebastian's shoulder. Slowly, quietly, then, he began talking.

Sebastian was surprised when Jim began talking about his childhood. In all their years together, Jim almost never spoke of his life before he went off to university other than a couple of passing comments here and there. Half the time Sebastian just assumed that he was lying and just making the comment in order to be able to participate more actively in the conversation being had. He did that a lot. But this was different. Between the drained expression in Jim's eyes and the way his voice was uncharacteristically wavering between a dead monotone and agitated bursts of description, Sebastian could tell that Jim was actually speaking honestly of his youth.

Which was why, when he finally came to the conclusion of his story about Anthony White, Sebastian was livid and trying his best to repress the raw anger that threatened to send him out the door with his rifle, consequences be damned. It was obvious that Jim shouldn't be left alone, however, so Sebastian forced himself to remain curled up on the bed with him.

"What made you think of all that now, Jim?" In all honesty, he was asking more for his personal interests than in concern for Jim. If somehow the idea of being intimate with himself dredged up all these nasty memories, then Sebastian would rather find out now than later.

Jim winced, but answered nevertheless, "When you said that I was a flirt, it made me realize that what Anthony had said during it was true. I had been asking for it, even if I didn't know it, so it was my fault, because I had been flirting with him for all that time. I didn't mean to...I didn't know-"

"Jim," Sebastian tilted Jim's chin up to force him to look himself in the eye. "It was not your fault. He is the one to blame, not you. Do you understand?"

"But-"

"Did you say no to him?"

"Yes, but-"

"There's no "but" about it, Jim. If you said no, then he should have listened. No matter what happened leading up to that, if someone says no then they mean it, and if anything bad happens then it's not their fault."

"Okay," Jim said weakly. Sebastian could tell that he still didn't fully believe it, but it would sink in if given time. He felt a bit guilty for having called Jim a flirt in the first place now; at the time, he hadn't thought anything of it. It was true, after all. Jim seemed incapable of going a single day without shamelessly making overtures with someone new. Now, though, Sebastian realized that it was just one of the many quirks of his personality, not actual sexual interest. He supposed that Anthony had probably been living under the same misapprehension as himself, but that still didn't excuse him from what he had done.

"Do you want some popcorn now?" He smiled, nuzzling his chin into Jim's hair. He assumed that he was allowed to do so, considering that Jim had declared his love for him not terribly long ago. His stomach still did little flip flops when he thought about it, despite all that had happened since.

"Maybe later," Jim wriggled so that he was pressed even closer to Sebastian. "I don't want you to get up." Jim sighed, letting his eyes fall closed as he listened to the steady, comforting beating of Sebastian's heart. He imagined that this is what babies felt like when they were still enclosed in their mother's womb, when the horrors of the outside world were not present and all they knew was the feeling of being sheltered, of being utterly protected.

"Since you love me," Jim said, then hesitated. He knew what he wanted, but he wasn't sure how to go about asking for it. "Would you be my first?"

Sebastian looked down at Jim, slightly confused by what he was asking. Of course, one thought certainly popped into his mind, but he discarded it quickly, thinking that it surly wasn't what Jim had meant. Whenever he could find no further explanation, however, he frowned ever so slightly.

"Jim, you've already-"

"No, I haven't. I didn't want it; they took it against my will. And I still haven't...you know, so it doesn't count. None of them count, and I want you to be my first."

"Then yes, of course, yes." He buried a kiss in Jim's hair and was gratified to feel the tension that had taken hold of him during the last bit of their conversation bleed away. They reverted back to silence, Sebastian allowing Jim privacy among his thoughts while he reflected on what this change in their relationship would mean to their work dynamic. He didn't suppose that it wouldn't cause much difficulty, considering that they had practically been a couple beforehand, just a couple lacking in a physical relationship.

Gradually, he became aware of the fact that Jim had fallen asleep. He smiled fondly down at the man, carefully rolling him into a more comfortable position so he could pull the covers up around Jim's shoulders. Once Jim was tucked into bed, Sebastian changed into his own nightclothes and slid in next to him. As he reached over to turn the lamp off, he paused, looking over Jim's sleeping form. Even when asleep, he didn't look completely at peace. Sebastian could tell from the slight crinkling around his eyes that something troublesome was happening in the landscape of Jim's subconscious, but he hoped that it had less to do with the events of that day and more to do with a function not behaving as it should in the strange reality of dreams. His mouth, however, was what Sebastian found truly captivating. His lips had parted just a fraction in his sleep, and his lower lip was caught in a half-pout. For a moment, Sebastian considered leaning down to steal a kiss, but he stopped himself before actually doing so. He decided then that, no matter what, he would not take from Jim unless it was expressly given. Be it a kiss or something more, Jim would always have control over what he allowed Sebastian to have.

Instead, Sebastian slowly shifted their positions once again so that they were laying on their sides, Jim's back pressed firmly against Sebastian's chest. Sebastian threaded his arm around Jim's waist and carefully entwined his fingers in Jim's. He smiled when he felt them flex ever slightly in his grip. He closed his eyes then, finally content to go to sleep himself with Jim in his arms and a promise of him still being there tomorrow.

-oOo-

Author: Sorry to have made you wait so long for the ending. Honestly, I have no excuse for the fact other than that I myself did not want it to end. I ended up with about 4 variant endings planned out, but I eventually chose to go with the most angsty one because, who am I kidding? I'm a sucker for angst. I will probably be posting little drabble fics which feed into this universe, though, so I hope you look out for those.

Thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, alerted or favorited this story. You all are wonderful people, and you make writing for this fandom a joy.

Final thanks to Kelsie, without whom this chapter might never have been posted.

And yes, Jim's version of thanking John is to give him 4 skeletons, send Sherlock on a week-long chase, and pay for their meals along the way. In my head canon, John will also receive a jam bouquet every month indefinitely.