Fic inspired by "Waiters are Traitors" Iphone crack fic "Texts From Last Night".

Sherlock knows where the keys on his phone are, and he doesn't need to proof read his texts which leads to some interesting messages for John Watson. Slash.

All of the mishaps with AutoCorrect were seen on damnyouautocorrect-dot-com.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock. If I owned Sherlock, and by default Benedict Cumberbatch, I would not be in my bedroom writing fan fiction. I would be in my bedroom doing other, more interesting things.

Love & Hugs; Ari

Auto Incorrect

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

5:38 PM

John, we need unwanted butter.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

6.00 PM

Unwanted?

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

6.01 PM

Sorry *Unwanted

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

6.01 PM

What?

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

6.02 PM

Shot. Unsalted.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

6.03 PM

Shot?

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

6.03 PM

Damn phone! Shit shit shit!

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

10.04 AM

John. Are you pussy?

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

10.06 AM

You what?

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

10.07 AM

*Busy! Bloody Phone...

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

10.20 AM

I'm at work, of course I'm busy... although, considering the alternative... I'm on my way home.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

11.12 PM

It's in the grave. Go and have a look for me. If I'm right, which I am, it'll be open.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

11.15 PM

Umm … Who's grave Sherlock, and please tell me there's not going to be a body in it...

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

11.16 PM

*Garage. David Pearson's, And yes, there probably will be. I'm sick of this phone.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

3.00 PM

What sizes did you want again?

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

3.01 PM

Two snails and one legend.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

3.01 PM

Oh for...

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

4.52 AM

John, come to Barts Lab when you wake up, I need head.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

4.59 AM

This better be something your phone auto-corrected...

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

6.06 PM

Is the meatloaf still in the fridge for dinner?

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

6.08 PM

No. Make that porn and broccoli stir fry.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

6.09 PM

It's a good thing I know you mean pork. Christ I'm glad no one else reads these texts.

Fucking IPhone.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

1.42 PM

Just got into a fight with Anderson. Need stitches, meet me at Scotland Yard, on way now.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

1.45 PM

On my way, what happened?

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

1.45 PM

He was being ridiculous, I needed a penis and he wouldn't let me borrow one.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

1.45 PM

What?

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

1.50 PM

I'm going to take this ridiculous phone to pieces. I meant Pen.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

5.54 PM

What do you want for dinner?

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

5.55 PM

How about anal me before hand and cough in Tesco's

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

6.01 PM

No. Sorry. This has to be your phone, but I simply can't decode it. In fact, I think I'm mentally scarred.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

6.02 PM

What? Uh … Was supposed to be "call" and "collect"

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

9.26 AM

Want your cock. Lestrade said it would be polite to ask first.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

9.28 AM

Sherlock, I thought you said you were married to your work?

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

9.29 AM

I'm open to the idea of a divorce, but I'm also thirsty and the can of "COKE" in the fridge seems appealing.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

9.31 AM

Bloody Iphone. I'm putting it in the trash when I get home!

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

11.00 AM

John, I need you to lick me in my room. Now.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

11.02 AM

Lock, Sherlock?

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

11.02 AM

Oh, yes.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

11.05 AM

Sorry.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

7.47 PM

Anderson's been suspended for two weeks.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

7.48 PM

What for?

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

7.50 PM

Because I actually filed the appropriate complaints for his on-scene behaviour towards a professional consultant who was called in by his superior office.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

7.51 PM

I lobe...

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

7.51 PM

*live

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

7.52 PM

*lone... Fyck.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

7.54 PM

...Just come home, and I'll show you.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

1.34 PM

John. I'm bored

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

1.35 PM

Shame. What do you want me to do about it?

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

1.36 PM

Get Lestrade to give me anal.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

1.37 PM

No, Sherlock

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

1.39 PM

A CALL damn it! I know you knew what the phone meant!

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

1.40 PM

More fun when I don't.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

3.33 AM

John I need you.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

3.34 AM

I'm vomiting

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

3.35 AM

Don't bother then

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

3.40 AM

Why did Mycroft buy me one of these useless phone's again? On my way.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

4.00 PM

I know you're working a case, but will you be available for anal tonight? I'll be home in about an hour.

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

4.02 PM

Holy Shit! I wrote the words "a call"

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

4.02 PM

Not anal

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

4.03 PM

Omfg. I swear I wrote the words "a call"

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

4.05 PM

Are you available for "a call" tonight?

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

4.10 PM

Yes

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
JOHN WATSON

4.12 PM

Um...

TXT MESSAGE FROM:
SHERLOCK HOLMES

4.13 PM

Yes.