I DID NOT WRITE THE HARRY POTTER FANFICTION, as is obvious if you read the style found in my other stories. My good friend wrote that story and we found it too humorous to not share with the world. I can't write like that. I can't even write those words that he uses. They're just embarrassing. It is of course a joke, and a rather crude one as it is. But, it is exceptionally funny. Yes, I know the rule about not starting sentences with conjunctions, but although I may not be a great author and have no right to do this: I really enjoy breaking rules.

My grammar is decent. I am very tall. I'm not good at fluffiness. Or even being sweet at all. (You can read my attempts at being sweet below. EPIC FAIL.)

Yes. I am a realist. No, I will not write a goo-goo-eyed anyone (SUCK at it). I like strong people, not weak ones. Why do you think that I watch Naruto?

It would be beautiful if the world were sweet, kind, and chocolate filled (mmmm), but it's not.

My favorite book is Pride and Prejudice. What a contradiction I am, eh? I'll be in Indonesia for the next year, but I would rather take Mother Nature (Sarah Hrdy) over Jane Austen any day. Sorry Jane, but your books don't have the same usefulness that I find in books on real females. Mother Nature is the Bible on human females. Males, if you seek to understand them, then just read it. Everything suddenly becomes clear, I promise.

Note on Stories:

I realized that I kinda like the flamer reviews. They make me laugh, especially in regards to the Harry Potter story. If you feel like getting out some anger, please use the review button as an outlet, especially if you will take personal jabs at me. That's highly entertaining. I like it. Seriously. And nice ones are cool too.

Surprises was my attempt to be angsty and fluffy. It's pretty much a failure, but I figured that I'd try anyway.