A/N Okay, so here's the first chapter for my new fic. So, let me start off my saying I own nothing, it all belongs to Charlaine Harris. I'd also like to dedicate this fic (I know that sounds sappy, so sue me) to the wonderful, awesome Sunkisz. She has had so many wonderful "what if" fics, that I couldn't resist trying my own! So, give it a read, and let me know what you think!

The beginning part in italics is taken directly from Definitely Dead. Just to make sure we're all on the same page, before this point, Pam has told Sookie that Eric wants her to come to Fangtasia, but Sookie said no because she has a date with Quinn; Eric has sent Sookie the proofs of his photoshoot for the naked calendar; The Pelt family has ambushed Sookie at Merlotte's to ask if she knows anything about Debi's disappearance; and Bill has asked Sookie if she would mind if he went along when she goes to New Orleans to clean out Hadley's apartment.

I walked through the house to make sure it looked nice, since Quinn was picking me up. Not even letting myself think, I changed my sheets and cleaned my bathroom – not that I had any intention of falling into bed with Quinn, but it's better to be prepared than not, right? Besides, it just made me feel good, knowing that everything was clean and nice. Fresh towels in both bathrooms, a light dusting around the living room and bedroom, a quick circuit with the vacuum. Before I got in the shower, I even swept the porches, though I knew they would be covered again in a yellow haze before I got back from my date.

I let the sun dry my hair, probably getting it full of pollen, too. I put on my makeup carefully; I didn't wear a lot, but it was fun to apply if for something more interesting than work. A little eye shadow, a lot of mascara, some powder and lipstick. Then I put on my new date underwear. It made me feel special from the skin on out: midnight blue lace. I looked in the full-length mirror to check out the effect. I gave myself a thumbs-up. You have to cheer for yourself, right?

The outfit I'd bought from Tara's Togs was royal blue and made out of some heavy knit that hung beautifully. I zipped up the pants and put on the top. It was sleeveless and it wrapped across my breasts and tied. I experimented with the depth of cleavage, at last picking a degree of revelation that I was sure toed the line between sexy and cheap.

I got my black wrap out of the close, the one Alcide had given me to replace on Debbie Pelt had vandalized. I'd need it later in the evening. I slipped into my black sandals. I experimented with jewelry, finally settling on a plain gold chain (it had been my grandmother's) and plain ball earrings.

Hah!

There was a knock on the front door, and I glanced at the clock, a bit surprised that Quinn was fifteen minutes early. I hadn't heard his truck, either. I opened the door to find not Quinn, but Eric, standing there.

I am sure he enjoyed my gasp of surprise.

Never open your door without checking. Never assuming you know who's on the other side. That's why I'd gotten the peepholes! Stupid me. Eric must have flown, since I couldn't see a car anywhere.

"May I come in?" Eric asked politely. He had looked me over. After appreciating the view, he realized it hadn't been designed with him mind. He wasn't happy. "I suppose you're expecting company?"

"As a matter of fact I am, and actually, I'd rather you stayed on that side of the doorsill," I said. I stepped back to he couldn't reach me.

"You told Pam that you didn't want to come to Shreveport," he said. Oh yes, he was angry. "So, here I am, to find out why you don't answer my call." Usually, his accent was very slight, but tonight I noticed that it was pronounced.

"I didn't have time," I said. "I'm going out tonight."

"So I see," he said, more quietly. "Who are you going out with?"

"Is that really any of your business?" I met his eyes, challengingly.

"Of course it is," he said.

I was disconcerted. "And that would be why?" I rallied a little.

"You should be mine. I have slept with you, I have cared for you, I have…assisted you financially."

"You paid me money you owed me, for services rendered," I answered. "You may have slept with me, but not recently, and you've shown no signs of wanting to do so again. If you care for me, you're showing it in a might strange way. I never heard that 'total avoidance aside from orders coming from flunkies' was a valid way to show caring." This is a jumbled sentence, okay, but I knew he got it.

"You're calling Pam a flunky?" He had a ghost of a smile on his lips. Then he got back to being miffed. I could tell because he began dropping his contractions. "I do not have to hang around you to show you. I am sheriff. You…you are in my retinue."

I knew my mouth was hanging open, but I couldn't help it. "Catching flies," my grandmother had called that expression, and I felt like I was catching plenty of them. "Your retinue?" I managed to splutter. "Well, up you and your retinue. You don't tell me what to do!"

"You are obliged to go with me to the conference," Eric said, his mouth tense and his eyes blazing. "That was why I called you to Shreveport, to talk to you about travel time and arrangements."

"I'm not obliged to go anywhere with you. You've been outranked, buddy."

"Buddy? Buddy?"

And it would have degenerated from there, if Quinn hadn't pulled up. Instead of arriving in his truck, Quinn was in a Lincoln Continental. I felt a moment of sheer snobbish pleasure at the thought of riding in it. I'd selected the pants outfit at least partly because I thought I'd be scrambling up into a pickup, but I was just as pleased to slither into a luxurious car. Quinn came across the lawn and mounted the porch with an understated speed. He didn't look as though he was hurrying, but suddenly he was there, and I was smiling at him, and he looked wonderful. He was wearing a dark gray suit, a dark purple shirt, and a tie that blended the two colors in a paisley pattern. He was wearing one earring, a simple gold hoop.

Eric had fang showing.

"Hello, Eric," Quinn said calmly. His deep voice rumbled along my spine. "Sookie, you look good enough to eat." He smiled at me, and the tremors along my spine spread into another area entirely. I would never have believed that in Eric's presence I could think another man was attractive. I'd have been wrong to think so.

"You look very nice, too," I said, trying not to beam like an idiot. It was not cool to drool.

Eric said, "What have you been telling Sookie Quinn?"

The two tall men looked at each other. I didn't believe I was the source of their animosity. I was a symptom, not the disease. Something lay underneath this.

"I've been telling Sookie that the queen requires Sookie's presence at the conference as part of her party, and that the queen's summons supercedes yours," Quinn said flatly.

"Since when has the queen given orders through a shifter?" Eric said, contempt flattening his voice.

"Since this shifter performed a valuable service for her in the line of business," Quinn answered, with no hesitation. "Mr. Catalaides suggested to Her Majesty that I might be helpful in a diplomatic capacity, and my partners were glad to give me extra time to perform any duties she might give me."

I wasn't totally sure I was following this, but I got the gist of it.

Eric was incensed, to use a good entry from my Word of the Day calendar. In fact, his eyes were almost throwing sparks, he was so angry. "This woman has been mine, and she will be mine," he said, in tones so definite I thought about checking my rear end for a brand.

Quinn shifted his gaze to me. "Babe, are you his, or not?" he asked.

I was prepared to say, "Not," but, for some reason the word just wouldn't come. Instead, I stood there with my mouth hanging open, looking like an idiot. Was I Eric's? No, I wasn't, that was for sure. But, what suddenly seemed like the more important issue, was, did I want to be?

Before this evening, if you'd asked me if I thought Eric wanted me, I would've said no. Apparently, I would've been wrong. And, I did miss Eric, or, at least I missed my Eric. Our time together when he had no knowledge of his past was so wonderful. He was an interested companion and a good listener, to say nothing of his lovemaking. But, did I really want to get involved with the true Eric Northman, Sheriff of Area 5?

I knew I didn't want to get sucked into his world, full of vampire politics. But, for some reason, I just couldn't bring myself to tell Quinn that, no, I wasn't Eric's in any way. Eric had done some really great things for me. He'd put himself on the line for me more than once. I owed him my life, a few times over. He obviously didn't understand why we weren't together. The least I could do is clarify the situation for him.

Before I could talk myself out it, I turned to Quinn and said, "Quinn, I'm sorry, but, I think we should reschedule our evening for another time. There's a few things Eric and I need to discuss."

Eric's face took on his normal smirk of satisfaction as he gazed at Quinn, who, suddenly seemed to be quite confused. I was fairly certain that when he asked if I was Eric's, he thought he knew exactly what the answer was going to be. Doesn't he know what happens when you assume?

"Sure thing, babe," he said, and leaned over to kiss me. I turned my head slightly, and his lips brushed my cheeks instead of my lips. I was positive that Quinn was going to take that as rejection, but, I simply didn't think it would be appropriate for me to kiss Quinn in front of Eric. "I'll give you a call in the next couple of days," he said, and walked back to his car and left.

I turned to Eric, who was still looking very smug, and said, "Eric, won't you please come in?" as flatly as I could. The tone of my voice finally seemed to cause him to realize he hadn't won. He followed me into the house, and sat down on the couch.

"Can I offer you a blood?" I asked. I didn't feel like being very hospitable, but, it was so ingrained that I couldn't help but ask.

"No, thank you."

We sat in a moment of awkward silence, Eric's eyes never leaving me, while I twisted my hands together and tried to look anywhere but at him. "Listen, Eric, I'm going to be completely honest with you're here, okay? Even if you don't agree with what I have to say, I ask that you at least hear me out." He inclined his head in a show of agreement, and I continued. "Eric, when all is said and done, I'm not yours. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Yes, we had a sexual relationship while you were staying here with me, but that's been over for quite some time, now. I'm not going to lie and say I didn't enjoy it, because I did.

"I know that you're very frustrated that you don't remember it at all. And, I'm sorry that it makes you feel like you've lost control, I really am. But, truthfully, I would give up every memory I had of those days if it meant that we could go back to the way we were before you were ever cursed." His eyebrows drew together, and I was fairly certain he was misinterpreting my meaning. "I'm not saying that I wish it had never happened. I just miss the relationship we had before. The friendship."

I couldn't help myself, and finally looked directly at him. He seemed deep in thought.

"Sookie," he began, "You of all people should know that once something has happened, you cannot go back to the way things were before it occurred. The world does not operate that way. Yes, I do wish that, like you, I had a perfect recollection of those days when you and I were together. But, I do not think you completely understand why my lack of memory is so frustrating."

I snorted. "Oh, I think I've got a pretty good idea."

He didn't attempt to hide his incredulity. "Then, by all means, enlighten me. Tell me what it is that I am feeling."

"Well, for one thing, we both know that you wish you could remember the sex." He inclined his head, letting he know he wasn't going to argue with me on this point. So, I continued. "Plus, knowing how much you enjoy a good fight, I'm sure you wish you could remember the actual battle with the witches." He nodded again. "And I'm sure that you wish you could remember the details of how I killed Debi Pelt, and where you hid her body, so that you could have that much more power over me."

He raised his eyebrows and just watched me for a moment. I was beginning to feel a little like a science project. "I must admit that I am surprised, Sookie. I've always been aware that, although you are unfortunately uneducated, you are not by any means unintelligent. Your powers of perception and optimism have always amazed me. But then, every now and then, you say or do something to completely contradict that assessment."

"Are you saying I'm wrong, Eric?"

"That is exactly what I'm saying, Sookie my dear. I will admit that, yes, I would be pleased if I could remember what it was like to watch you kill that murderous bitch. And, yes, I wish I could remember exactly where I put her. But, I do not wish these things so that I could have power over you."

To my amazement, he stood and actually began to pace. Was he nervous about something? "Then tell me the true reason, Eric," I said, hoping he'd continue.

"I wish to protect you."

"Protect me? From what?"

"From any retribution anyone might wish for her death. She tried to kill you, on more than one occasion I might add. From the way you describe the situation, I do not doubt that you were saving both your own life, and mine, by killing her. Your own personal grief about this is more punishment that you deserve. You should not have to worry about it any longer."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Eric, I appreciate your concern, really I do. But, I'm the one that killed her. I've made my bed, and now I have to lie in it."

He stayed motionless and silent for a long moment, and I began to wonder if he'd gone into down time. Finally, he spoke again. "Tell me, Sookie, what would you consider to be a valid way to show that you care for someone?"

I had a feeling I knew where this was going. "Well, for one, if you wish to see that person, you ask them yourself, you don't have your underlings call them and demand they be at your beckon call."

"Alright. What else?"

I thought about it for a moment. "Well, if you care for someone, you should have a desire to be involved in their life. So, you'd want to spend time with them, and talk to them, even if it be about mundane, everyday things."

"Go on."

"You'd do things for them that needed to be done, without having to be asked."

"Such as, oh, for example, having their driveway repaired?" he asked.

"Sure."

"Or, maybe, dropping everything and immediately coming to their aid if you know someone is attempting to do them harm?"

"Yeah."

"Perhaps, even, taking a bullet for them?"

"Okay, I see where you're going. Eric, I don't doubt that you do see some type of value in me. It's just that, sometimes, it feels more like you're interested in Sookie the telepath, as opposed to Sookie the woman."

"Aw, but Sookie, you are forgetting something." He crossed the room to stand before me, and lifted his hand to softly caress my cheek. "The telepath, the waitress, the woman…they are all the same person. They are all you. They are just different parts of you."

Sure, I'd been annoyed at his high-handed behavior. But, all the same, it was so incredibly difficult not to press my cheek into his palm, and lean my body into his. Especially when I remember how wonderful that body felt when it was naked, pressed to mine….No! Not going there. I took a step backwards.

"Sookie," Eric said, "I'm wondering about something."

"And just what would that be?"

"If I were to attempt to show you that I care, would you be receptive?"

What was with the technical talk? "I don't know that I understand what you're getting at here, Eric."

"Alright, let me try to put it another way. Would you allow me to court you, Sookie?" The words sounded foreign coming from him. Like a child reading a textbook a few years too advanced for their age.

"Well, I guess that would depend on how you would go about doing that, Eric," I answered.

He walked to the front door, opened it, but paused halfway through. "I'll definitely keep that in mind," he said, and then he was gone.

"Well, one thing's for sure," I said out loud, even though I was all alone. "There's definitely never a dull moment when Eric is around."