Name: Sable or Satan (depending on my mood or who you ask)

I am on here alot but don't actually write anything but crack fics in my head. unless forced to by kaila.

friends: Cassie (Yaoi Maiko), Kaila (Nana or Amie)

THE WORLD'S BIGGEST IRONY!

hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia:
The fear of long words. It is literally the hippopotamus- and monster-related fear of very long words.

Warning: Reading The Books War

To All Authors:

This is a General All Hands on Deck call for all authors to be aware of the author known as 'Honey the Bee' formerly known as 'Delete the Clutter'. He/she has been the manipulator of the 'puppet' known as 'Heart of Aiur' in this so-called war against 'Reading the Books' fics.

He has used 'Heart of Aiur' to begin the war against these fics by 'Auir' posting a DON'T PLAGURIZE notice on his authors page and since 'Aiur' has left the site due to pressure from us (The Authors). Honey the Bee has revealed themselves and began to do battle against these fics and has had numerous successes.

This author finds these fics, puts them on his/her favorites list then rallies others to red list them to the Admin. As of 2:00pm Pacific Standard Time, Thursday, May 31, 2012, this author has gotten a total of One hundred sixty one stories deleted. This is ridiculous. has always been a place to freely write fan fiction. If this continues, I think I'll move to a site that's more honest about it's intentions and promises.

So, warn who you can. If your story gets deleted go to a different site. (Talk to 'Point Given' for information on a forum for those of you who are worried.)

As a preemptive measure all authors are sugested to ban 'Honey the Bee' from reading/Reviewing any fics on your authors page. You can do this by going to your page and going to the account tab and clicking the Block tab, which brings up a screen for authors block. You can block by e-mail, Pen name, or Author ID.

If you find your fic pulled you can negotiate with the Admin for reinstatement or you can repost the fic.

JUST BE CAREFULL!

Yours in Trust

Sabaku no Sable

My fortune cookie had this fortune in it: In God we trust; all others pay cash. you have to love this!

School: A Place Satan invented while High. (Satan: I dont remember this. Sable: that is because you were high. duh!)

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal – From a headstone in Ireland.

Month one
Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two
Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three
You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four
Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven
Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. "

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

Thoughts on Gay Marriage!

1) Gay marriage is not natural, and as Americans, we always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and lyposuction.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

The differences betweens people who say they're ur friends, and people who ARE ur friends.

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents MOM/DAD.
FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would sit next to you sayin "Damn... we messed up... but that was fun!"
FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget its yours.
FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Dude, drink the rest of that. You know we don't waste no liquor."
FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk smack to the person who talks smack about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them freakin' out.
FAKE FIRENDS: Would go to your funeral if you were murdered.
REAL FRIENDS: Would skip the funeral and go out looking for BB, who probably murdered you, and beat the crap out of him!!

Fav Parts of Some of my fav fics:

Ashes to Ashes

Dust to Dust

The Dursleys are burning

Smores are a must.

-Deceptive Appearances,Harry says this when he finds out the dursleys house burned down with them in it. sev thinks he is saying a muggle prayer. XD

“Where are you going?” Harry said.

“To kill Vernon and Petunia Dursley,” Remus said.

“Whoa,” Harry said, grabbing Remus by the arms, and dragging him back inside, “No killing the Dursley’s.”

“Why not?”

“Because that’s not nice?” Harry offered.

-Death, Fate, Destiny, and Prophecy. Remus decided this after Harry didn’t remember his birthday was that day.

“You can’t afford robes, but you buy Honeyduke’s best chocolate?” James asked Remus.

Remus acted affronted, “I have my priorities, Prongs.”

-Finding Harry Potter, they were reading the 3rd harry potter book and somehow remus always has chocolate yet has patched and frayed robes. i view chocolate as more important than clothes too.

“Breathe child!” He leaned forward, rubbing circles in the boy’s back. “Harry you cannot do this!Forgetting to breathe every time you become upset is going to leave you with brain damage and me with heart failure very soon.I forbid you to scare me like this,” he said into the face that was quickly regaining some of its colour.“Do so again and you will be a very sorry young man, do you understand?”

-Of Love, this reminds me of when i tell amie that she cant die. XD

“You are truly and utterly evil.”

“I will take that as a compliment.”

“I didn’t mean it in any other way”, Carmilla said with a smile. “But what we are planning is torture, you know?”

“No it’s not”, Alexander said. “A few seconds it’s not torture.”

“You’re going to have it on you yourself”, Abel said. “Isn’t that a bit too painful?”

“Nope!” the teen said cheerfully. “I’ve already been tortured with Crucio when I was fourteen, so this’ll be a piece of cake!”

Abel and Carmilla stared at him and he continued:

“It was an accident.”

“Accident?” the half-vampire asked. “Are you crazy?”

“No, that was when I was fifteen”, the raven-haired teen replied.

-truth behind evil, i love this fic! harry is alexander and is a slyth and is voldie's brother from another mother and abel is alex's vampire lover kind-of in the future while carmilla is a crazy lesbian who ended up in azkaban when she killed the ppl who killed her lover. alex is nuts though.

Most people in the class were completely terrified by either Fuji or Echizen. They were terrified by Fuji because he stared at Echizen with opened eyes and they were terrified by Echizen because he was able to ignore it.

-the picture of a prince, i love this fic too! fuji is ryo-chan's stalker but ryo is too naive to figure it out. i think others are stalking him too. of the girl and guy variety. XD

“Yes. Now, the cat is white, with patches of brown, and fluffy. He’s a Himalayan cat, and Echizen’s complaining ‘cause he needs to be brushed like, three times a day. So when you find him… brush him.”

“Really? What a high maintenance cat.”

“Well you’re a high maintenance person. Now find the cat.”

-THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED, this is a conversation between sananda and atobe. ryoma is supposed to be sponsored by atobe's company but during a photo shoot, ryo decides he has to leave since momo lost his cat.

“And take those hands out of your pockets. And take off your hat!”

“Is Echizen no longer allowed to wear his hat? I thought it was his thing.”

“I’ll give you a thing.”

“I bet you will,” Fuji said to Atobe, with a wink.

-THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED, fuji is such a perve. in later chapters he coerces tezuka, drunk ryo, supposedly drunk (not at all) atobe and sanada into a five-man orgy. he is the mega perve. XD

Fuji smiled as he adjusted his camera for the next shoot.

He was going to have fun with this one.

2 hot models together. 2 models he wanted.

Together.

Yummy.

-Cafe, love this part! fuji is such a perve. with a camera. dangerous combination.

Head of the International Organization of Unspeakables, British Sector
(lovingly referred to as IOU BS, the response most Unspeakables gave when asked about their jobs)

-Love hurts, I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS FOREVER! I REMEMBERED THE IOU BS BUT COULDNT REMEMBER WHAT IT STOOD FOR! ARG! also if you dont get it. unspeakables arent allowed to talk about their jobs so if asked they say 'I owe you bull shit'.

‘Caffeine isn't a drug, it's a vitamin!’
‘The voodoo priest and all his powders were as nothing compared to espresso, cappuccino, and mocha, which are stronger than all the religions of the world combined, and perhaps stronger than the human soul itself.’

-love hurts, caffeine is a drug. a happy drug! also the sad part about the second one is that it is true.

She should have a solution or at least know someone who knows someone who knows someone who is the same elemental type as Harry

-Broken,mind,body and spirit:child , or someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows somebody who knows someone who has a sister that is best friends with somebody who is dating someone with a brother that has his elemental powers. XD

If anyone even dared to look at Ryoma in a way Fuji deemed as not appropriate revenge came swiftly and cheerfully.

-NampaBoys, i didnt think that was possible. how can revenge be cheerful?

They came to a fork in the river. No really.

Both boys swam to the surface to regain their breath.

“Why is there a fork in the river?”

“Be damned if I know.”

-Youthful Monarch, i still dont know if they are talking about an eating utensil or like a fork that you can find in a river.

Ryoma quickly put the shirt on to discover that the shirt reached his knees.

“You’re awfully big, Broom.”

Tezuka jerked to a stop.

“You also have a very dirty mind.” Ryoma sat down on a mat that Tezuka pulled out.

“Enter awkward silence.”

-youthful monarch, i would say something like this. including the perverted part.

“I guess that’s a good reason.”

“Me too.”

Inui shivered, “No matter how many times I read my data, there is no way that having a conversation like that is possible!”

“I agree, Ryoma.”

Most definitely.”

“No, I’ll tell him.” Tezuka sat up from his lounging position next to Ryoma. “Inui, Ryoma and I have decided to name you Freakazoid.”

Inui became blank and disintegrated into ash.

“Impossible…” his voice wavered like a ghost’s.

-youthful monarch, something inui cant even explain!

A guard entered the room with some letters in his hand. “Are the Emperors here?”

“No, they’re still making a baby.”

“Syuusuke!”

Fuji laughed, “Sorry, I just had to say that. But they are in their room.” The guard nodded and bowed before leaving.

-youthful monarch. they were making a baby though! XD

“Jacques, I want three omelets, one ham, two chickens, five apples- I love them-, a bowl full of grapes, three bowls of rice, two cups of water, three pitchers of grape juice, three pounds of bacon with strawberries on top, a cake with chocolate icing, six bowls of oatmeal, a pot of collard greens and creamed spinach mixed together mind you, ten turkey sandwiches- no scratch that- make it eight, three fish fillets, four lobsters, twelve crabs, whipped cream, and ONE cherry. Please,” Ryoma smiled innocently at Jacques.

-youthful monarch, and you wonder why tezuka fakes being asleep when ryo is hungry.

All i am going to say is read ch7 of youthful monarch following when teh babies start talking to eachother. LOVE IT! i fell out of my chair laughing. my ass hurts because of it.

“I am a rescue circuit.”

“What?”

“You’ll figure it out sooner or later.”

-My Dear Stalker, that sounded so random i love it. it actually has to do with the kanji of his name.

Warnings: Fuji alone should be a warning.

-UNDERWORLD:THE BAIT, this is actually a warning on a lot of her PoT fics. he is dangerous!

“What did I tell you about going out with no weapons?”

“Buchou, what are you talking about?” Ryoma asked innocently. “I had my daggers, a few shurikens, two poison darts, and…”

“And?” Momo prompted.

“I had my phone.”

“How’s that a weapon?!”

“Oh, it’s my Ultimate Weapon.” Ryoma grinned. “You see, the phone allows me to call certain people.” He smirked. “Especially one Fuji Syuuske.”

Echizen Ryoma’s Ultimate Weapon = the Boyfriend.

-Underworld:the bait, like i said. fuji is a warning in itself.

“Oh god, I so do not have to know about Tezuka’s sex life.” Oishi muttered to himself. “I hope that they use protection. Sure, they’re boys, and boys can’t get pregnant, but- what if they can? I hope they know what they’re doing…..”

-Twister, and he starts worrying about tezuka getting preggers. who would be the bottom actually. tezuka doesnt seem like a bottom but neither is atobe. -.- headache now.

Hermione interrupted Harry’s answer by storming in looking furiously at Sirius, “Why the hell did you throw a bowl of jello?”

“Now that one’s got brains,” Regulus remarked.

“She probably keeps them in a fridge, otherwise they might rot,” Severus rationalized.

Everyone spared him a worried –and slightly terrified- look, then Hermione turned back to glare full force at Sirius.

“I was upset!” Sirius exclaimed indignantly.

“So you threw a bowl of jello at your brother?” Remus questioned, giving Sirius a disappointed look.

Sirius looked insulted, “I didn’t throw it at him! The jello just upset me at that time.”

“The jello upset you?” Al asked disbelievingly.

“It was green,” Sirius, answered in explanation.

“Ohhhh,” James and Jay said in understanding.

Everyone else, except Regulus, gaped at Sirius in astonishment.

“I- I’m just going to go clean the jello up…” Hermione said weakly, before leaving the boys on their own again.

The boys sat in silence as they waited, all of them to scared of the next bit of randomness that might burst from within one of them.

-The Future through the past's eyes, i dont even think i have to explain why i found this funny.

‘He called her a CHIT! I’m going to kill him’ mike thought.

‘What the hell is a chit?’ Eric thought.

-Angel of Dark, the funny thing is that i bet mike doesnt know what a chit is either. XD

Ryoma glared.

Fuji opened his eyes.

Ryoma eyes widened.

Fuji stuck out his lower lip.

Ryoma backed away.

Fuji let his eyes water.

Ryoma submitted.

DAMN IT ALL! Ryoma screamed internally.

-The Wonders of PlayDoh, beware the fuji stare. I RHYMED! XD

“You – the leader!? Argh! Now it feels like I am in a mental ward with a bunch of psychos! A religious madman, a leader that loves to beat small children, a plant with a split personality, a stitched bureaucrat, a carrot that turns people into puppets, one blue-faced piece of sushi, an explosion fan and two Uchihas for fuck’s sake! Oh my destroyed life!”

-Life is a neverending battle, i love how the uchihas get a category by themselves as a reason it is an insane asylum.

“Are you high on lemon drops, Albus?” he asked. “I thought Minerva would keep your hands away from them.”

“Oh, I have a hidden stack,” Dumbledore said. “Don’t tell her that!”

-Strength of a Child's Mind, sad but probably true.

“Nee, Kuni-kun,” Ryoma bopped me on the head with his racket. Strange, seeing as he is a foot shorter than me. But of course, you never question Echizen Ryoma. Because then you get terrible grades in science and you have to explain just why you don’t think the law of gravity exists.

-Blood Lust, also sad but true.

No bad Syuusuke. I can’t change him just because I want to see how freaking sexy he’ll look after the change. Mainly because the change is freaking painful, but also because he looks crazy sexy right now, and I really don’t want to know how freaking sexy he’ll look after the change. Well, I want to know, but…you get the point.

-Blood Lust, do it fuji! we all want to know! he is talking about changing ryo into a vamp in case you were confused.

‘EMERGENCY MEETING IN ATOBE’S MIND!!’

‘TOPIC Ravish Ryoma Now!!”

‘FOR 70’

‘AGAINTS 20’

‘INDIFFRENT 10’

-Bathtime fiasco, my mind does this. not about ryo being covered in grape flavored jelly and being totally fuckable but it still does this.

“Did that just-?”

“Hai...” answered Kawamura.

“And he just- ?”

“Uh-huh nya..” said Kikumaru in shock.

“So that means-?”

“Fshuu... Yup...” answered Kaidoh blushing a bit.

“That’s that then.” said Fuji smilling.

The rest of the regulars nodded and exited the amusement park agreeing never to play Truth or Dare with Fuji again.

-Truth or Dare, ryo and yuki kissed and freaked everyone but fuji out. he planned it all. i know it.

"How are you able to handle four men?"

Ryoma just smirked and left his older brother.

"Mada mada dane, Ryoga."

-Forfeit, Ryoga isnt up to Ryoma's level of handling men. XD

"Moving on is not measure by how strong you are when it comes to ignoring the situation. When you are able to accept the verdict of destiny and still be able to smile, when you are able to whisk the pain away and face those who wounded you with forgiveness in your heart, then that is really moving on."

-Will you still love me tomorrow, O.O NANJIROH SAID SOMETHING WISE! APOCALYPSE! also sad since he dies in this fic.

“Potter, now you listen here! You’re going to get your firm... hot, really, really nice–"

"Draco, dear, get your mind back on track," Harry steered helpfully.

"Right, Potter you get your fucking arse into some leather pants – the black ones preferably with the silver snakes, because you know I look better in white – and you’re going to do this fucking photo shoot with me and I don’t want to hear another bloody word about it!”

-Nothing Left To Hold, any questions why i love this part?

"Ne who knew you were as powerful as cute"(Fuji)

"..."(rest of regulars)

-Side Affects, awkward situation. ryo has cancer in this one and he is still able to do his cyclone smash thing. fuji is his normal perve self. RYO DIES! so sad but fuji finds the cure for leukemia and names his son after ryo so its all good. i swear fuji cloned ryo as his kid.

“I’ll kill the both of you!” He shouted. Cedric’s eyes widened as he pulled Viktor by the arm and began running.

“Harry Cullen, apologize!” Esme demanded, but he wasn’t listening anymore.

The younger boy was quickly chasing the two older seekers. “Viktor, run faster! He’s a lot quicker than I thought!”

-A Light in the Dark, cedric and victor just told the cullens that harry was in love with luna. esme is harry's mom and the girls are his sisters. you can imagine their reactions. no one was hurt in the course of chase.

“What did you bring home this time Gaara?” A woman asked walking up to the sleeping boy.

“A vampire…”

“WHAT THE FUCK! WHY DID YOU BRING A VAMPIRE HERE?” Kunkuro shouted.

“He was beautiful.” Gaara replied.

“Another beautiful thing! He’s a boy!” Temari shouted.

“He was still beautiful.” Gaara said.

-Forbidden Love, i love gaara! i also love their reactions. it seems like gaara does this type of thing a lot. XD

Harry was Harry, no matter if he were a vampire, werewolf or unicorn. Tonks looked at him strangely after that and he blamed it on the medicine.

-Blood Prophecy, HARRY THE MAGICAL UNICORN! LETS GO TO CANDY MOUNTAIN HARRY!! XD

Sometimes Harry wondered if Voldemort attacked so the Slytherins wouldn't have to take exams.

-Thicker than Blood, that would be amusing.

“Maybe,” Albus agreed but did not look convinced. “Perhaps you should go to Madam Pomfrey for a check-up.”

“Erm, no. I feel fine.”

“You felt fine despite your magical exhaustion,” the man warned. “And you are a bit too thin.”

“I’ve always been thin,” Astus tried to protest.

The old man looked at him. The younger felt himself crumble at the stare.

“Do I have to?” Astus finally asked. “She’s scary…”

“The scarier she seems, the more she cares,” Albus said.

“If I find her terrifying?”

“Then she has already appointed herself as your new mother.”

-Rewriting History, this cute and sadistic of Poppy. love it.

”Mr. Luffy,” Tucker interrupted, making the man look at him. “Danny’s the same as we are.”

”Teenagers?” Luffy XIII retorted.

”Nope,” Sam denied.

”Hooligan?”

”Of course not!”

”The kind of guy who eats too much leek?”

”VAMPIRE!!” The three teenagers yelled in unison. The barkeeper looked at them for a while and then titled his head.

”Oh,” he finally said in a understanding manner. “Then welcome to our society!” he turned around, took something from his cabinet.

-Eclipse, i love this guy. especially the leeks part. kyo would hate him. XD

“Hold on, Ryoma. Where are you two going?” Nanjiro questioned.

“Out.”

“Where?”

“Out.”

“Out where?”

The younger boy pulled his arm up and pointed out the open door. “Out there.”

-The Fallen Prince, i would soooo do this! XD

And again Tezuka smiled.

The Apocalypse is coming.

-A special kind of love, this should be one of the signs of the apocalypse. XD

“Bird calling the mouse cat food.”

-beacon, i am going to say this from now on. tis awesome.

Sweat poured down my bare back, my muscles were aching. My breathe was heavy, the soft mat under me provided no distraction. Vlad eyes bore into mine, his breathing labored as well. This momentary rest was nothing. I was sure, in seconds, we'd be back at it again.

Yep, we were training.

-Adversus Adverto, i was like "THEY FINALLY DID IT!" and then nada. majorly p'oed

“You spent 2,000 dollars in one day?” he asked flatly. My eyes widened in shock.

“Two thousand dollars!” I yelped, gapping.

“You didn't even count it?” he looked at me dumbfounded.

“Well that was a lot of twenties and I'm not that good at math...”

-Adversus Adverto, dude just needs to know how to count 2's to count 20's. -.- whateve.

So he sucks chakra out of his opponents huh? I wonder if he can shrivel a person up that way…hmm let’s see now…’

“Oi, Akado Yoroi, I’ll give you ¥5,000 if you suck him dry!” Naruto yelled down to the fighting duo.

Everyone stopped and stared at the blond before the two down on the field blushed furiously…as well as everyone else.

“What,” Naruto asked with a frown before it clicked. “Oh, you guys are sick perverts.”

-To be Blunt, Sarcastic, and Psychotic, honestly how many would be thinking something dirty if naruto hadnt of been thinking that before? now how many still thought dirty things? XD

Hermione’s about to pull a wicked witch on us and somebody’s going to feel as if a house just dropped on them.

-More important Things, i just love this line. harry said this while they were on a mission and hermione shot ron's nuts off with her pistol right afterwards. gotta love it.

“We were gone one hour,” Voldemort said.

“Yes.”

“One hour.”

“Yes…”

“In one hour, suddenly the amount of brats in my home grew from one to around twenty.”

“… Yes.”

“Bloody hell.”

“I guess that is one way you could put it,” Lucius agreed.

-A Different Life, Erus is having a birthday party and he has a rather extensive guest list. XD they also had draco's panther chasing people around the house.

“You like the television, don’t you?” Harry asked, looking up. He was almost at the end of the book, having been reading it for a month solid.

Evan looked down at the boy with a small smirk. “Television has brought back murder into the home, where it belongs,” he said at last. Harry merely stared at him blankly. “It was a joke.”

“I know,” Harry said, frowning, “I was trying to decide why you thought it was funny.”

-Butterfly, what he says is actually a quote from someone that i cant remember right now. it probably said it at the bottom but i hate reading AN at 2AM. you wouldnt think that harry is only 6, would you?

And we can do with it whatever we want, just like the non-magicals use the internet. The MCs have a keyboard, and a screen, and now they can exchange data.”

Maya nodded, then glanced at Hermione, and grinned. “So fifty percent will be utter trash, and the other fifty percent will be porn?”

-Mahou mo Ken, sad but true...again. she forgot cat videos tho. XD

I remembered a fight they had once. The two hadn't even said a word. They stared at each other for about five minutes until Mika-Zuki, a hyper fanatic, off the was personality, looked away hurt. I could literally see Gaara melt as he grabbed Mika-Zuki's cheek and kissed her passionately and apologetically on the lips.

-Life's little ways, they fought and made up without saying anything. that is freaking awesome!

“YOU LEFT PORN OUT FOR THE POOR INNOCENT CHIBIS TO FIND!” Iruka yelled.

“Icha Icha Fun!” Lee cheered, making Iruka’s face scrunch up. Kakashi might have thought it cute had it not been in anger at him.

“YOU LET LEE READ THE PORN!”

Suddenly, Chibis on sugar high didn’t seem to be the scariest thing he had ever faced.

Shit.

And since when did Iruka know an S-rank Torture jutsu.

Double shit.

Kakashi turned tail and ran.

-Chibified Chaos, you should be glad that you are still alive.

“You were there the whole time, weren't you?” she asked, already knowing the answer. They shrugged uncomfortably, feeling slightly like stalkers but unwilling to admit it.

Pretty Kitty, harry is a cat-boy and dating both twins. they have a tendency to follow harry. they are stalkers.

Ron nodded enthusiastically. “It was weird, though... Malfoy didn’t put up much of a fight, not like you’d expect him to. He practically laid down and begged me to tie him up.”

Pretty Kitty, anyone else get really bad thoughts from reading that. XD BONDAGE BABAY!

Sectumsempra- The spell that Harry cast on Draco in book six. Or known to most as the spell that caused Harry to cling onto Draco and every fan girl in the world to momentarily die.

-Falling in Love with the Golden Boy, so true. although he didnt cling to him in the movie and made my heart sad.

Draco smiled, “Yes, I’ll do anything you want me to do!”

“Jump off a bridge?” Jade asked curiously.

Draco blinked, “Why’d you want me to do something like that?”

“I don’t,” Jaden said. “Daddy always asks when I say I was doing what everyone wanted me to do, if I would jump off a bridge if everyone else was doing it.”

Harry smirked. “Let’s go home.”

“Home!” Jaden yelled happily only to stop and look back at Harry and Draco. “Which home?”

-Forever Lovers, i say stuff like that and that is a very good question considering draco and harry dont live in the same place.

mini-Merlins

-The Savior and the Scourge, Spike calls the students this when he is forced to be the defense teacher at hogwarts. he doesnt mind so much after he finds out that harry is his mate.

"How heavy is a polar bear?

He received a blank look.

"...How...heavy...?"

Jacob smiled sweetly as he registered the sound of Harry's voice into his memory, to be repeated over and over in his mind for the near future.

"Heavy enough the break the ice! Hi, my name is Jacob Black.

-Harry:Imprinted,this is so retarded that it actually worked.

“I’m going to go find someone to maim. I’ll be back.”

Menage a Trois, this is on . sev and draco just found out about harry's life at the dursleys. they are his doms so they are pissed!

“Harry, you are so adorable.”

“I’m actually SEXY and MASCULINE, thank you. I’m not adorable.” He pouted.

Adorably.

“Draco, Harry is not adorable.”

“Thank you, Sev.”

“He’s CUTE.”

“HEY!!”

-Menage a Trois, poor harry. to cute for his own good. (harry: I'M NOT CUTE! sable: right. you are adorable! harry: HEY! dragged off by sev and dray.)

This enemy had been around for millenia, and existed or had existed, or would exist in every single human on the planet. It was fixed into their bodies, and though was quite often an ally when growing up, would prove to be a great nuisance to the twins as they went about their lives.

Yes. Harry and Selena now had to deal with hormones.

-Shadow Siblings, hahahahaha. they are the most powerful people in the world but are taken out by hormones.

“Oh, God, I found it,” cried Blaise. “This potion is so illegal you can be sentenced to a Dementor’s Kiss for brewing it.”

Hermione she read over the ingredients and its usage. “Banned in 1877 as the main ingredient is... holy crickets!” Her cheeks flushed deeply as she scanned over the words. “I wonder how Snape got samples for this potion.”

“I know how,” said Blaise, grinning cheekily.

Remus pretended not to hear.

Hermione shook her head in disbelief at the text. “We have to drink ‘essence stolen from a virgin’?”

-Delusions of Grandeur, i love what blaise said even if it kind of disturbed me at the time.

Hermione reached under her skirt and pulled out a foot longer!

…Knife.

A foot long knife.

Harry stared and demanded, “How the hell did that fit up there?”

“A regulation Hogwarts skirt goes from waist to knee, which in my case is exactly 21 inches, more than enough room to hide a knife of this size,” Hermione replied, “but of course, it’s simply not practical for me to carry this on my person at all times, so I created a portal—”

“There’s a magical portal up your skirt?!” Harry demanded, staring at Hermione in a completely new way.

“There’s a magic portal up every girl’s skirt,” Hermione replied smugly.

“This is like the scariest sex ed class I’ve never had,” Harry declared, looking suitably freaked out.

Oswald, of course, was no less freaked out.

-Oswald the Ottoman, this freaked me out. background info: harry turned voldemort into an ottoman that they named oswald. oswald is in love with harry's new trunk and keeps stealing nev's plants to give to the trunk.

Good evening boys and girls, all the ladies and the gents,

I am the Hogwarts Sorting Hat, the Hat that’s eloquent.

I decide which Hogwarts House you really do belong in

As when you come and try me on I go looking through your noggin.

Mayhap you’ll be in Gryffindor, and have fine escapades,

Or end up in Ravenclaw and receive academic accolades.

You could be a Hufflepuff, and wracked by indecision

Or perhaps you’ll be in Slytherin, and so end up in prison.

I decide where you ought to be, so sit down and close your eyes:

You have never met a Hat like me, so come and try me on for size.

Gryffindors are brave but rash, and think that Quidditch is divine,

But they have such a narrow outlook and in class they come behind.

For the average noble Gryffindor, all things are black and white

And also tend to be out of mind as soon as they’re out of sight.

Ravenclaws are intelligent and brilliantly academic

And feel that outside of their House stupidity is endemic.

They tend to be averse to action – instead they are all vision,

And have yet to learn there is a difference between cleverness and wisdom.

Hufflepuff, poor Hufflepuff, so steady and so loyal

Whose most distinctive characteristic is that they’re unafraid of toil.

(Mind you, they have to be, they’re such mediocre students –

Although this can be said for them, they always act with prudence.)

Last but not least there’s Slytherin, unscrupulous and political,

Where intelligence and cunning are absolutely critical.

Never turn your back on them, for they’re infinitely ambitious,

And if there’s Dark things happening, their mere existence is suspicious.

So now you know a little about the Houses where you’ll go;

Just come along! Be Sorted! – it’s inevitable, you know.

And don’t think that you can help decide in which House your life you’ll spend;

Only Professor Potter managed that, and he was sorry in the end!

So just relax, don’t worry, I swear it won’t take long:

It will also be less painful than this endless, pointless song.

-Professor Potter's Sorting Hat Song, apparently the teacher's compose the song and not the hat. this was harry's version. XD

“I’m not like my father, Harry.” Draco replied

“Really, to me you seem to be the spitting image.”

“Actually, I’m more like my mother.”

“What, more into dick?”

“Very funny Harry. Though true.”

“That’s kinda hot.”

“WHAT?” Draco asked choking on his saliva.

Harry just laughed and continued to be measured by Madam Malkin who was grinning.

-Freedom, harry is a perve. draco should get used to it. i love how madam malkin is grinning.

“Hermione? Come on, just touch my python, I swear he’s really nice.”

-Dance!, O.O BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! THAT SOUNDS SO WRONG! that were actually talking about harry's pet snake.

"Looks like you have yourself another Naruto to deal with",the Hokage said smirking.

"sigh I know",Sasuke's said follow the little crow.

"Just to let you know I'm laughing at your pain",she said leaving.

"Oh I know you are"

-dont fly away please, i would say this to someone.

WARNINGS: SPOILER ALERT – Violence, necromancy, zombies, dead things, death, blood, gore, molestation, pedophiles, vampire politics, killing, groping, frottage, aphrodisiac, suspense, assholes, slash/mm/yaoi/yuri/ff/gay relationships, sex/intercourse (in aff and lj versions), no underage sex (aka chan), huge disparities between individuals engaging in sexual activities (for example, 20 and 1000), threesomes, moresomes, student-teacher relationships, jealousy, non-consensual sexual acts, rape mentioned, actual/graphic rape (aff/lj), blood play, mature concepts, mature material, drug abuse, addiction, mind control, manipulation, biting, maybe necrophilia (we got necromancers, what can I say?), fellatio/blowjobs, handjobs, fingering, dominance-plays, bestiality (we got werewolves and demons), magic during sex (aff/lj), sexually stimulating massages, homicide/murder, genocide, magically induced orgasm, magical stimulation, mpreg, blackmail, sexual favors, human trafficking, flaying, slavery, black market transactions, betrayal, prostitution, crossdressing, mental/physical torture, interrogation, kidnapping, fisting (aff/lj), desecration of cemeteries, maiming, het couples, eunuchs, castration, self-harm, cutting, brain damage, exhibitionism, fetishism, frotteurism, masochism, sadism, bondage, autassassinophilia, biastophilia, erotophonophilia, rimming/anilingus (aff/lj)… can’t think of anything else…

-Bloody Skies, O.O Oh. My. God. that is a really long morbid warning. and awesome.

well they've burned their skin, shortened their breath, and somehow lost their shirts. altogether i would call it a successful fight.

-not from a story but from yu yu hakusho. thought it was awesome. dont remember the episode though. when yusuke was fighting drunk dude i think.

as long as they dont grab my balls and tell me to cough...scratch that.

-also from yu yu hakusho. they were told to have a physical exam before the next match. yusuke said this before and after seeing the nurse. XD

“I’m engaged to Hermione Granger?!” At Snapfang’s nod, Harry slumped in his seat and groaned. “She is going to kill me.”

“That would be in violation of the contract-”

“Oh, she is going to kill me with a spork, eat my heart with tartar sauce, and dump my ashes into Moaning Myrtle’s toilet,” Harry moaned, his face in his hands.

“Er, may I continue, Mr. Potter-Black-Prewett?” Snapfang said uncertainly.

Harry looked up. “Go ahead. Don’t mind me. I’ll just sit here and contemplate my doom.”

Snapfang hesitated. “You know Miss Granger cannot kill you, Mr. Potter-Black-Prewett.”

Harry nodded grimly. “But that won’t keep her from trying, Snapfang.”

-Harry's Heirdom, i found this just plain amusing.

“Heir of Merlin, huh?” Harry said. “I’m guessing that’s significant.”

“Significant?! Of course it’s significant!” Snapfang cried. “You are the only living descendant of the most revered wizard of all time!”

“Right.”

“Actually, it’s not just significant, it’s MOMENTOUS!”

“Yeah.”

“THIS IS PROBABLY THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT INHERITANCE IN THE HISTORY OF MAGIC!”

“I get the picture, Snapfang.”

-Harry's Heirdom, i am going to guess that it is important...maybe.

Harry James Potter-Black-Prewett-Hufflepuff-Evans-McGonagall-Ravenclaw-Weasley-Gryffindor-Flamel-Emrys-Longbottom-Malfoy-Gaunt-Slytherin

-Harry's Heirdom, harry's final name. wow.

“That we have not even an ounce of stamina, but a man probably more than two times older than us does?”

Sirius stared at his best friend, his face quickly twisting into disgust. “Do you think he has a girlfriend?”

-A Light in the Dark, i found this amusing and disturbing

Thankfully for the pre-gennin squad, the week passed by without any further problems. Aside from Naruto being chased by Anko, while she hunts him down to stab him. All in all, a rather lazy week of classes, scrubbing the floors of the Hokage tower, training, life and death games of hide and seek, and lots of take out.

If one didn't know better, they'd have sworn the kids were college students.

-Orb Knights, i just plain found this amusing.

Ryoga slumped back on his seat. "This is a dinner party from hell."

-Will you still love me tomorrow?, lets see. ryoma's 4 ex-lovers who broke up with ryo cuz he slept with seiichi but they didnt realize until later that seiichi drugged ryo cuz he loved him but found out and are trying to win him back, ryoma, seiichi, ryoga, ryo's cousin, plus seiichi's coach who likes to make fun of them. yep. dinner party from hell. not to mention that keigo is the cousin of the man ryo is now dating. said cousin is dying of cancer. yeah. got to suck.

Nanako frowned. "Now I'm depressed." She turned to Yosuke. "Need desert please."

-Will you still love me tomorrow?, that would be me.

"Naruto-kun he's gone, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Hinata said giving Naruto a knowing smile.

"You want to do it here? Are you sure? I would be much more comfortable in the house." Naruto said returning the smile as well.

"I don't care! I want it now! I want it inside me now. So, if you don't pop it out right now Naruto I-I I don't know what I'll do." Tears started to escape Hinata's pearl eyes.

Naruto quickly gave the girl a hug and got to work.

Hinata drooled as she saw Naruto work with precision; she nibbled on it a little to see if it was the real thing. Happy at the result she started drinking the fluids.

Hinata devoured it like there was no tomorrow, until she was finally full and satisfied.

"Thank you Naruto-kun! I don't know how much longer I could have gone without your pancakes, and the syrup was delicious." Hinata said finishing her third pancake.

Naruto's Luck, BWUAHAHAHAHA!! THAT ALL SOUNDED SO WRONG!

"Oh, he's not small, Dean."

"That's what she said."

"You did not just say that. What, are we in high school?"

"Defending his honor?" Dean mocked, and Sam rolled his eyes.

"Moving on." Sam muttered.

-Thunderstruck, i hate those 'thats what she said' things!

"He's rather spirited," Fenir chuckled.

"He's down right scary!" Fudge exclaimed.

"He's Harry," Remus said with a sigh

-Marriage, i agree to all of the above!

Lily leaned back and picked up her cup of tea. “You still have a hard on about Slytherns.”

James blushed. “LILY!”

-What Child is This, XD

The Rafter Ninja (as he had rather boredly been calling himself)

-Screwed, kakashi the rafter ninja. XD

The elder of the two snorted, although his heart pounded at the thought. "I'm not the biggest fan of fate."

"I'm not the biggest fan of mornings. That does not stop them from coming."

-Screwed, so true. especially if you are harry potter.

"You burnt my floors."

"They have you locked in here!? Like an animal, a caged animal!?"

"I love those floors."

"First they locked me away and now my familiar?"

"Remus helped me put these floors in. We put in our blood, sweat, and a good deal of tears - literally."

"I can somewhat understand locking away a dangerous looking demon like myself, but you? You're like a kitten - cute and completely harmless!"

Harry snapped his eyes up from the burnt floors. "Hey!" he cried in protest, pouting slightly.

-Screwed, mini demon fox is scarier than harrikins.

“War is a time of trials and of truths. When you fight for your life, for your friends, for your family, for your honor, or for your beliefs, you learn what is important.

“To fair Ravenclaw, teacher of the curious, her beliefs were more important than even her dearest friend.

“To fey Slytherin, teacher of the cunning, his make-shift family was more important than his own happiness.

“To sweet Hufflepuff, teacher of the loyal, her promises were more important than the man who was like her brother.

“To brave Gryffindor, teacher of the courageous, his honor was more important than his family.

“Be you brave, follow Gryffindor; be you steadfast, follow Hufflepuff; be you crafty, follow Slytherin; be you knowing, follow Ravenclaw.

“I am the Sorting Hat, and I show you your path.

“So come and put me on. Be you a leader, a soldier, a worker or a philosopher, I will send you to your home.

“But be wary.

“Beware the missteps of the ones you follow, for all four gained what they sought, but all four lost what they needed.”

-Glass Magic, this would be an awesome yet disturbing thing for the hat to say.

'Your Firebolt.' I'm pining for you, Master. I'm getting thinner and thinner with the sadness of not having you. I'll be just a stick next! (Ginny sends her love as well.)'

-Hecatemus, they are such dorks

"Who the hell is Oscar, and why were you watching llamas mate?" Harry questioned out loud

-Sweet, Darling Harry, can you guess who harry is talking to? give you a hint. she is lovely and loony.

"You're gay?" A voice asked from the shadows.

"You're a stalker?" He asked back in faux surprise as he glanced over his shoulder to his Vampiric shadow

-Like a Concussion, he is a stalker. eddie likes to stalk people. bella and harry to name a few.

"Did you get the file?" Trowa asked, not bothering to look up from his work.

"Uh…no," Wufei mumbled.

Trowa glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"Uh…" Wufei's eyebrows rose. "Harry and Quatre are expanding their relationship."

"Huh?" Trowa asked.

"Yeah, that was about my response too," Wufei replied.

-The Blindside, i just found this amusing. would have had to take pics if it was me though.

"Dad, I did something really bad." He admitted.

"What? What did you do?" Minato asked worried, knowing that Naruto wasn't the kind of person to do something bad.

"Me." Sasuke stepped out from behind Naruto. Minato was confused only for a second or two before he sighed heavily and ran his hands over his face.

"Does your father know?" He asked. Sasuke nodded and Minato sighed again, looking at his son. "Why couldn't you have murdered a guard during your escape from prison after the meth lab in your pregnant girlfriend's basement was found? That would have been easier to deal with than Fugaku."

-Secret, Minato is awesome.

"The Academy of Magic is coming for the Triwizard Tournament and they are being led by James Potter, who is coming with his family," he said happily.

"Are your affairs in order?" asked Severus.

"Why, Severus, what ever do you mean?" asked Albus.

"I mean that James and Lily Potter would love nothing more than to chop your head off and hang it on their mantle," said Severus.

"And with good reason," Minerva pointed out.

-The Potters Return, Dumby never learns.

Harry frowned looking troubled. "But how can you decide who you like more?"

Ollivander appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. "Harry, maybe you should talk to Daphne and Luna, together, about your feelings?"

Snape and Harry were completely shocked. "How did you get in my house?" Snape demanded, while Harry asked. "But how?"

Ignoring Snape's question, Ollivander replied, "You just tell them, silly little boy." Ollivander ruffled his Harry and stepped away, disappearing.

Harry and Snape exchanged a glance, then continued with the potion. A silent promise never to speak of this again.

-Passed over Prodigy, i would sooo do this.

"Voldemort," Harry murmured, locking gazes with her. "I...I think he's coming back."

There was a moment of silence. Then-

"He's delirious! Quick, Ben, hit him again!"

-Street Fight: Version Two, i have a feeling that was Cam. i also think ben hits cam instead.

"Artemis."

"Hm?"

The other Ravenclaws eyed the two warily.

"Buttered toast falls butter-side down, yes?" she asked curiously.

"Generally," Artemis replied.

"And cats," Luna said. "They land on their feet, yes?"

"Generally," he replied again, getting a feeling of where the questioning was headed.

"So," she continued, face serious. "What would happen if you strapped toast to Mrs. Norris' back, dry side down, and threw her off the Astronomy Tower?"

- Grá, Dílseacht, Cairdeas, this is a very good question. also dont bother looking for this fic since it is supposed to be deleted.

"I hereby promise I'll rip that bloody idiot's heart out. I might eat it too."

"Raw?" Erus asked.

"Duh, yes."

"Raw heart doesn't sound too good," Voldemort said. "May I recommend letting Fabella cook it for you? She'll make it delicious."

Noir considered this.

"I might take up on that," he said. He had tasted the house-elf's food; everything she did was simply delicious.

"I've never eaten heart," Erus confessed.

"Well, there will always be a first time for everything."

None of the three really cared it was a really bizarre conversation.

A Different Life, i think it would be better cooked.

"You don't sound pleased," Butler observes, and Artemis's scowl hardens.

"Oh, no, dear Butler, I'm ecstatic," his charge snaps. "Why on Earth would I be displeased?"

"I'm not sure," Butler answers honestly, vacillating between thinly veiled amusement and ripe curiosity, "but I have a feeling you'll tell me."

"I'm in love, Butler," his charge admits, suddenly serious, "I'm having some of the best sex of my life, and I'm engaged to be married! What's wrong with this?"

"Something drastic?"

"Three different people," Artemis growls, "that's what." After a prolonged pause, he sighs. "At least tell me I'm a terrible person?"

Indecorous Affairs, have sex with butler and then it will just be two diff people

I HAVE REACHED OVER 2000 FAVS! IF YOU WANT AN AWESOME YAOI FIC THEN LOOK ON THERE! SOME HET FICS TOO! I READ TO MUCH! I HAVE NO LIFE! XD