I am trying to get an invite for Archive of our Own, so if any of you lovely people have an account there and can invite me, I will love you forever! I was sure I had one, but I can't find it on any of my email accounts!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Harry

Could you please come back from wherever you are hiding and speak to Ron because I cannot handle it any more.

I, personally, don't care what you are and are not doing with Professor Snape, but if you don't stop Ron from retching into his schoolbag, you will rue the day you were born.

Hermione

xxx

Snape

Stay away from my godson.

Sirius Black

xxx

Black

I assure you that I am not forcing Potter to do anything. We had hoped to keep this a secret, for both of our safety, but it appears that Potter cannot do anything without every one of his friends knowing about it.

Snape

xxx

Snape

Just keep your filthy hands off him, Snivellus.

Sirius Black

xxx

Harry

You made this mess. Come deal with it. Stop hiding like a coward and take the Spanish Inquisition like a man.

Ginny

xxx

Harry

Is this true? Are you sleeping with Severus Snape?

That's all I could get out of your godfather, but it doesn't sound very likely. What is going on?

Remus

xxx

Harry

Way to go bagging Professor McSexypants.

I'm very impressed.

Tonks

xxx

Harry

Where are you?

It is almost curfew and if you are not in bed in the next hour, I will report you to Professor McGonagall.

Hermione

xxx

Potter

Please tell me why I got a visit from your irate godfather just now, who hexed me for having sex with you?

Did you tell everyone we were having sex?!

I swear to God, Potter, you miserable little cretin, when I get my hands on you, you'll rue the day you were born

Snape

xxx

Snape

Kinky.

All this talk of getting your hands on me won't make people think we're sleeping together any less.

But chill, it was just a prank. I can keep a secret. We still on for another lesson tomorrow?

I have to go and deal with Ron now... I think I'd prefer to stand there while you throw hexes at me all night...

Harry

xxx

Potter

You haven't been forgetting about me, have you?

I have plans, Potter, and when they come to fruition you will rue the day you were born.

Lord Voldemort

xxx

Voldemort

That's the third ruing I've had today.

Get in line.

Harry