Disclaimer: I don't own anything except this little plot!
Enjoy!
Log 10
Harry sat outside Snape's room, oblivious to the world around him. The sounds of feet rushing in and out of the room were the only thing that his mind registered successfully. The young male didn't know how long he sat there in thought when a warm hand was placed on his shoulder, jarring him out of his mind.
"He's going to be fine. His breathing has stabilized without the use of a machine and most of his normal functions are working as they should. The man has asked for no visitors but I felt that you should at least get a proper update on his condition." Dr. Pomfrey smiled kindly down at him before asking to sit down next to him.
Harry scooted over to give her room but stared in the other direction, unable to look at her at all. He had no idea what he should do with himself now. Should he leave? Should he stay and try to make things return to the way it used to be before this whole incident? Should he confess? All these thoughts were filling his mind and he felt lost in the torrent of emotions attached to them. Harry leaned forward, letting his face fall into his awaiting hands, "Thank you for the update. May I…may I see him soon?" he asked, nervousness evident in his voice.
Doctor Pomfrey sighed and leaned back against the wall, rubbing her eyes, "I'm afraid I am not able to answer that question for you. It is up to Dumbledore and Severus whether or not there can be visitors. He's in there now, discerning Snape's physical and mental condition for himself, which is why I am out here." She smiled.
Harry nodded, somewhat satisfied with that answer.
There was a sudden banging sound from the room across from them and the duo both jumped up and barged into the large room.
"What's going on in here?" Pomfrey shouted.
"Is Snape alright?" Harry shouted at the same time.
The two men looked as if they were going to tear at each other's throat any moment now. The IV machine had been knocked over, presumably Snape's doing since he was the closest one to the item. Dumbledore, who looked as livid as Snape, stepped away from the bed and brushed passed the two concerned occupants without even giving them a second glance.
Harry stepped forward as Dr. Pomfrey took off after the old man, "Snape…?" He called, nervousness and worry evident in his voice. When he got no response the young man walked over and timidly picked up the forgotten device and set it back into place next to the cot.
Harry turned and looked at Snape, "S-Snape…?" He whispered timidly, reaching out to touch his exposed hand.
The older man recoiled instantly, slapping the extended appendage away from him, "Leave Potter!" Severus shouted as loud as he could with what little voice he had, the iciness piercing Harry deeply.
The young brunette backed away instantly, unsure of what to do with himself. He didn't want to leave the man to his own devices without doctor supervision but he also didn't want to weaken his condition by staying.
"Leave!" The irate man shouted once more, voice cracking into a shrill, "Stay away from me!"
At these words Harry bit back tears as he ran out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him and leaned against it. His heart was racing as tears began to mist over underneath his glasses. That was not how he had planned their first reunion to go but he never expected for it to be as bad as it had.
The distressed teen then decided to make his way to Dumbledore's office to find out what had occurred in the man's hospital room. Throughout his entire stay at the hospital he had never once seen the old doctor lose his happy demeanor and especially not to the extent of which that had occurred in Snape's hospital room.
Harry exited the elevator on the 18th floor and made his way to the lone office down the hall. As the young man reached for the gold colored doorknob, shouting could be heard from inside the Head doctor's office, signaling that a dispute was currently taking place. Harry, curiosity taking over his judgment, leaned his ear against the smooth wood of the door and he focused intently to discern what was being discussed. Bits and pieces would make its way through the wood only when tension ran high and the people started to shout, which was becoming increasingly more common as the discussion went on.
Soon, as Harry waited, he finally could hear more of the conversation as the two occupants moved closer to the door.
"…we shouldn't keep this kind of information from him; it could become costly to do otherwise!"Harry figured this was Poppy who stated this based on way the person's tone had raised to a slight shrill.
"And tell him what, exactly? That there may or may not be a chance that he was the reason Severus was targeted? Do you know what trauma that knowledge would put him through? We aren't even sure the facts are valid!" Dumbeldore argued, his voice standing out easily.
"Well, what do you propose we do Albus? Once that vile gang finds out that Snape survived the ordeal they will definitely come back to finish the job. As heartless as it sounds, it would be the wisest course of action on their part."
Harry's eyes widened, They were going to come back, he thought, They were going to try and kill Snape again!
The argument seemed to have come to a standstill. There was not another sound until footsteps could be heard heading towards the door.
Harry instinctively jumped back and moved as far away from Dumbledore's office as time allowed before schooling his face to hid his emotion as Poppy opened the door. He pretended to walk forward and look up in surprise, "Doctor! What a surprise! I was just about to check in on Albus." He smiled innocently as if to prove his point, "Is he available at the moment?" Harry asked.
Poppy eyed him apprehensively for a moment before moving aside to let him in, "Is there something specific you needed? We were discussing something important." She closed the door, following him as he headed over to Dumbledore's oak desk.
Harry smiled at her sadly, "I promise to be quick." He sat down in one of the available arm chairs in front of the Head doctor's desk, "Dumbledore." Harry nodded in greeting.
Dumbledore nodded in return, automatically offering lemon drops as was his habit. "Harry, my dear boy, what is it? Nothing dire I hope." He joked and chuckled, although the merriment never seemed to reach his eyes.
Harry shook his head. "I just wanted to make sure that everything was alright with Severus. I…I wasn't able to talk to him for very long so I wanted to know if you could tell me anything." He said.
Dumbledore glanced over at Poppy for a moment before smiling brightly, "Well, physically Severus is going to heal up nicely. As far as mentally we won't know for sure yet until we get another chance to evaluate him. I hope you won't take it personally if he is somewhat cold to you though. After what he's been through I doubt that he is ready to make connections with people just yet."
Harry smiled thinly, "Yeah, I know what you mean." He closed his eyes for a minute and sighed before rising out of his chair, "I'm going to go and clear my head for a bit so I'll be back soon. Okay?"
Dumbledore smiled and nodded, "Take your time and if anything happens we will be sure to let you know."
SHshSHshSHshSHshSHshSH
Harry wandered the hospital halls aimlessly looking for something, anything that could tell him the answers to his questions. He had been walking for a long time and people had begun to worry as he passed them by for the second or third time that hour.
Ms. Delvinson spotted him as she was returning from her treatment session and waved him over. Harry hesitated at first but figured that there would be no harm in conversing with the lonely woman. He walked over and greeted her cordially as he followed her into her new hospital room.
(After the dinner incident she was moved to a nicer room as a form of apology from Dr. Dumbledore himself.)
The aging patient sat down gingerly onto her bed, Harry helping her by positioning her pillows comfortably and fixing her covers once she was settled.
"Thank you Harry. Now, tell me your troubles." She said, smiling kindly.
He looked up at her as he was moving a chair over near her bed, surprise written all over his face, "How…?" Harry started but quickly cut off as he shook his head. There was no point in asking her how she knew as it was just one of those gifts that came with old age. He sat down in his chair and smiled sadly, "My…my friend came out of his coma today."
Ms. Delvinson smiled, "Why, that's wonderful my dear! But, why do you look so sad on such a wondrous occasion?" she said, her smile quickly turning into a frown.
Harry laughed sadly and scratched the back of his head, "Well, actually…" he said, "He…he wasn't…" He frowned, trying his hardest to bottle up the emotions that wanted to run amuck inside him, "He wants nothing to do with me anymore!" Against his wishes tears started to freefall down his cheeks as his face fell into his hands, crying unashamedly in front of a woman he barely knew, "I…I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do anymore!"
A bony hand patted the top of his head gently, letting him work out his frustrations before offering support, "Now now, honey. Here, blow your nose." Jeannette said. He took the tissue and blew, sniffling slightly afterward.
"I hate this about me. I hate how I cry all the time. How nothing can ever go right for me. Why…why do I have to act like such a child?" he asked, knowing he was acting like a selfish brat but could do nothing to stop the flow of emotions.
Ms. Delvinson chuckled softly as she rubbed the top of his head, "You know, you remind me of when I was a young teen myself. Always afraid to say what I mean, hiding behind a façade of happiness and trying to act like there was nothing wrong with my life." She paused, eyes closing as she thought about what she was saying,
"But in truth, I was suffocating. All the desires of other people took precedence over what I felt or wanted. I assure you that you aren't acting like a child, Harry. You are being human. You have what most adults these days would die for. You have courage. You have the courage to face the struggles presented to you and you have the courage to cry, not only for yourself, but for the benefits of others. Most people would call that childish, yes, but honestly, what do they know? Children see the world for what it is; even if they don't always realize it themselves. They are the real adults of this world. They aren't the ones who sugarcoat everything and hide behind false pretenses…" She stated, tensing as she realized what she was doing, "Oh… what am I doing rambling on like this? I really am getting old aren't I?" She said, smiling as tears started to crawl down her cheeks as well.
Harry smiled his first true smile ever since everything went wrong in his life. A chuckle grew in his throat and soon turned into a full blown laugh, tears all the while streaming down his face, but for once they were happy tears.
They stayed like that for a while, both of them laughing and crying together as if the two had solved all the world's greatest problems and to Harry, they really had. He felt that he could finally start being happy with himself again.
Harry wiped his eyes with his sleeves and smiled, "You know, you have a lot of courage yourself, facing this world on your own." He said.
Jeannette grinned, "Ah, but that's not true is it? I have my family with me, even the ones that I won't see again for the rest of my life. I have them to keep me going, even when life tries to keep me down." She laughed, patting his hand, "And I now have you to keep me going as well. So don't fret, my child. Everything happens for a reason."
Harry smiled, "Yes, of course." He held her hand tightly, savoring this bond that had developed between them.
"Now," Ms. Delvinson continued, "About this friend of yours. It seems to me that he must be feeling very frightened and alone in this world right now. I think he could probably use a true friend who could look past his cold demeanor and help him feel safe again. Don't you?" she asked.
Harry frowned, "But wouldn't that be going against his wishes? He really seemed like he meant it when he told me to never see him anymore." His voice dropped a little as he said the last part.
Jeannette sighed, tilting her head to the side, "Well, that is up to you to decide. I may not be his friend but I know what I would be feeling right now to wake up in such a place with no recollection of how I got there or what was happening." She smiled, "I'm sure that no one would want to go through that trauma alone."
Realization dawned on him and Harry stood up sharply, hugging her briefly before running to the exit, "Thank you very much for your time! I promise never to forget you!"
He was halfway down the hall when he heard, "Good luck, Harry!" echo down the halls after him. Harry stopped at the elevator but quickly kept going since he knew it would take too long for him to get to the 14th floor. He tore down the stairwell often jumping down the last few steps to make up time.
It took him two minutes for him to get from the 17rd floor to the 14th and nearly bumped into Dr. Pomfrey who was making her way down the hall when he busted through the door, "Harry? What's wrong?" She called.
"I'm going to help Severus!" He shouted over his shoulder, gasping as he tried to regain enough oxygen into his lungs.
Dr. Pomfrey frowned and shouted, "But Harry he doesn't want any visitors! You aren't allowed in there anymore!"
Harry ignored her and reached the end of the hall; placing his key card into the slot and busting open the door.
He didn't know what to do after that. He just stared at the man, breathing sharply as he tried to regain his breath. He closed the door behind him quickly and dragged a chair over next to the bed before sitting down and staring at the floor.
Snape regarded him coldly, "I told you to get out Potter." He rasped, "I don't ever want to see you again!"
Harry winced as the words cut through his heart and clenched his fists, whispering, "No."
Snape became livid. He picked up the plastic cup of water on his nightstand and threw the cup of water at Harry. The cup barely missed the young man's face but the water inside the cup found its intended target, drenching the young man's head, "What part of get out don't you understand- aargh!" He gasped and gripped his shoulder as pain ripped through him like a knife.
"Severus!" Harry exclaimed, getting up to see if he was okay and ignoring the fact that he was soaked with water he reached over to touch him but was once again deflected by Snape's hand. Harry reached out again and this time caught the hand that was meant to deter him, holding on as if it was his only lifeline, "I'm not going to leave you again! I know you're scared, I know that, but I also know that you are lonely too! I need you to know that I'm here for you! That I will protect you!" He pleaded.
"You think I need your protection? I don't need a damn thing from you Potter. I'm not some pathetic weakling that needs to be coddled!" Snape shouted hoarsely, "I'm perfectly fine on my own!"
Harry let go of his hand, stepping back away from the bed, a sorrowfully twisted smile on his face, "You know, you sound just like me, pretending that you're perfect and that it's the world that is flawed but, what will you do? What will you do when the nightmares start? When you wake up screaming for help but no one is there to help you because you've isolated yourself from everyone? I've been there Severus; I know what it's like and what you are going through now. Even you know that!" Harry admonished.
Snape looked away and stared fiercely at the far corner of the room, acting as if he had heard nothing. The only reason Harry knew he had gotten through to him at all was through the fact that Snape's body had started to tremble slightly as he tried to hold back his emotions.
Harry sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out, with no resistance this time, to hold the frail man in a gentle yet reassuring embrace, letting the older man rest his head against his chest. He felt the tremors become more pronounced and knew that the man had finally let the silent tears of emotions flow out of his body.
The brunette didn't know how long he'd been holding the man but was surprised to feel trembling hands latch onto the back of his shirt, digging their nails into the fabric as a sign of acceptance. He looked down and smiled feeling his own emotions boil over and his own tears starting to slide down his cheeks as he made a silent prayer,
Thank you, thank you for bringing him back to me…
TBC
Author's Note: 1 YEAR! It's been one year since my lazy ass decided to write something again. I deserve all forms of creative punishment, I know, but at least I finished this chapter before I died. I don't know if anyone cares about this story anymore but oh well, I'm still writing it!
Review if you want! It would make my day!
Thanks,
Momo