Name: whiteicewolf

Age: not going to tell you

Likes: none of your business

Dislikes: also none of your business

Hobbies: I have many hobbies

Pet Peeves: Awesome Fanfiction stories that are discontinued, and very slow updates

Note: If I do not update any of my stories in 3-4 months assume one of the following

1. I forgot my password to fanfiction

2. I'm dead

3. I have a huge case of writers block

4. My computer broke down

5. My internet connection is down

6. I destroyed my computer for having slow internet

7. I forget I have an account on fanfiction

8. I somehow end up in a place with no computers or electronic devices

Stupid Racist People...

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me coloured"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!

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Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side.

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(='.'=) BUNNY!
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If you're weird and proud of it, post either of these cute rabbits on your profile page! ALL HAIL THOSE WHO ARE PROUD TO BE DIFFERENT!

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92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going
to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of
the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and
break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something
to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt
on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that
spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if
a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told
you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less
fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get
home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when
you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your
toes, don't come running to me. "

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do
you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
understand."

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

"Sarcasm is the body's natural defense against stupid people."-Anonymous

"Life is not life unless it's a pain in the ass"- whiteicewolf

You know you live in 2012 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screen name or Face Book

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

A friend will comfort you when he rejects you, Best Friend well go up to him and say "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A friend will be there for you when he dumps you,Best Friend will call him and whisper "Seven days..."
A friend will help you up when you fall, Best Friend will laugh because she tripped me.
A friend helps you find you're prince charming, Best Friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A friend gives you there umbrella in the rain, Best Friend takes yours and runs away.
A friend helps you move, Best Friend helps you move the bodies
A friend well bail you out of jail, Best Friend is siting next to you saying "That was Awesome!! Lets do it again!!"
A friend knows a lot of things about you, Best Friend could right a very imbarrassing biography of your live.
A friend will teach me how to drive, Best Friend will help me push the car in the lake so i can collect insurence.
A friend will go to the concert with me, Best Friend will kidnap the band with me.
A friend will hide me from the cops, Best Friend is the reason there after me.
A friend will let me make a fool of myself in public, Best Friend is makeing a fool of herself next to me.
Friends Fade, Best Friends are forever.

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!

Stupid Warnings:
This is a list of all the stupid warnings on the products most of us use daily.
1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children
4. Candle: Warning: A burning candle is fire
5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking
6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado
7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts
8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children
9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping
13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required
14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use
15. Korean Kitchen Knife: Warning: Not to be used in Children
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

THINGS TO DO AT THE MALL
1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and clean your teeth.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"
16. Throw skittles at people and yell, "Taste the rainbow, bitch!"
17. Go the toy section, get a light-saber and start challenging people to a Jedi match.
18. Follow a random person and if they turn and ask why are you following me yell, "No I won't have sex with you!"
19. Grab a security guards walkie-talkie, Run away an yell into it the ducks are in the pond i repeat the ducks are in the pon when hen say what say why don't you ask your mom when he reply you said we would never talk about that say an what was it we would never talk about again...

Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things and add another one to the list!

When life gives you lemons throw them at the mean people and hope it gets them in the eyes. (Take that! I hope you go blind!)

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to these men? (Dear murderer, please don’t kill me. Sincerely, me. That’s stupid.)

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

Akatsukicons!

Itachi -/ \-

Deidara O\/

Zetsu \o_o/

Tobi @

Sasori -.-

Kisame =o_o=

Hidan o.o

Kakuzu '--'

Konan @n_n

Our Itachi's Face guide:
/o\ -LOL
/_\ -Happy
O/_\O -Shock
O/_\o -Shifty Eyes
@/_\@ -Confused
o/_\o; -Sweat Drop
O/_\ -Wink
//_\\-Crying /_\-Sleeping

WAYS TO GET KICKED OUT OF WALMART

1. 'Test' the fishing poles

2. Leave a trail of tomato juice from the bathroom

3. Enter the dressing room and yell "THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!"

4. Go up to some old guy and say "Grandpa! I thought you were dead!"

5. Look for a guy that has a girl beside them and say "Who is this?" and when he says that he doesn't know who you are say " Oh, so that's how it is. Well, whatever we had is now over, you cheating liar." Then run away crying.

6. Put a wet floor sign in a carpeted area.

7. When the guards chase you, try to get to the aisle where they sell chainsaws and grab the one. Then go to the the toy, grab a teddy bear and say "Stop or the bear get's it."

8. If they catch you kick 'em in the groin and say " That's for my mom."

9. Grab a toy sword and run around yelling "FOR NARNIA!". Then find an old lady and say "AH! IT'S THE WHITE WITCH! SOMEONE GET ASLAN!"

10. Get a toy gun and walk around singing "Secret Agent man, Secret Agent man."

11. Release all the balls and say "GO PIKACHU! I CHOOSE YOU!"

12. Find some Yu-Gi-Oh cards and walk up to random people saying " IT'S TIME TO DUEL!"

13. Go up to the cashier and say "Where are you keeping him?" When they say they don't know what you're talking about say "GODDAMMIT! WHERE ARE YOU KEEPING MY BROTHER?!

14. Do the Hare Hare Yukai in the men's bathroom if you're a girl, do it in the girl's bathroom if you're a boy.

15. Get one of those dolls that can pee and get an employee and say "Sir, there is something wrong with my brother/sister and I can't find my parents." When the employee leans in to look at your 'brother/sister' activate the doll.

16. Attach a walkie talkie to an Elmo and make it say "Elmo has mommy." in a demonic voice whenever a kid (that's alone) walks towards it.

17. Sing shigure's high school girl song whenever some girl walks by. (Both boys and girls can do this one ;) it is 'highschool girls highschool girls, all for me highschool girls'

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES:

Say the words out loud.
1) That's not right... ...Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive? ...Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP... ...Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man... ... Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse... ...Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the Beach?...Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table...Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift...Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here...Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet...Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone...No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight...Le i Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile...Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive...Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great... ...Fa Kin Su Pah

Work vs Prison

IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON... you get three meals a day.
AT WORK... you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON... you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK... you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON... the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK... you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON... you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK... you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON... you get your own toilet.
AT WORK... you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON... all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required
AT WORK... you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON... you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK... you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON... you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK... they are called managers.

So why is it, again, that we work?

What makes life 100 percent?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants more than 100 percent. How about achieving 103 percent? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

then:

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96

but:

A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100

and:
B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close,
attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far this will take you...

A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118

Think about it... and have a nice day at work... :)

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter by Hyuuga Hiashi WRITTTEN BY SHAWNY WONG!!

Rule One: If you come up to gates of the Hyuuga estate and announce your presence you’d better be delivering an important message from the Hokage, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered practical for boys of your age to remove their shirts when they have been training for hours on end. Presumably, this is to ensure that you do not overheat while you are training outdoors. Please don’t take this as an insult but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. We do have air conditioned dojos and indoor training halls for a reason. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may remove your shirts and tops whenever and wherever you want, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your pants do not, accidentally, come off during any time spent with my daughter, I will take my senbon and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex with the wrong kunoichi can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, my daughter is that kunoichi, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about recent missions, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will makeyou cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than sculpting the Hokage Monument. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like sweeping my floors?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, ninja patrols, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Chunin exam tournaments are okay. Morino Ibiki’s interrogation chambers are better. (Speaking of which, Ibiki owes me a favor. Would you like me to make an appointment for you? It’s no trouble.)

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I am a master of the Byakugan – that makes me a living lie detector. I can see every involuntary twitch, every breath, and each bead of sweat on your face. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have an army of elite Byakugan users at my beck and call. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your steps coming up to my front gate for an enemy Cloud ninja sent here to steal the secrets of the Byakugan. You remember what happened to the last Cloud ninja who crossed me, don’t you? Incidentally, I will be cleaning and polishing the family katana as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you set one foot on my property you should submit yourself to a full body search by my guards, remove all hidden weapons from your person, and keep both hands in plain sight. Announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then leave - there is no need for you to come inside. You may not see me, but rest assured. I see you.