I live in you don't need to know city, in a state you couldn't care less about.

My email is: jasperhale120@ like you didn't know already.

I've got two (soon to be four) Katekyo No Hitman Reborn stories

And lastly I'm awesome. Just straight up. I am the shit.

I'm also insane. Like really really crazy. But, you know maybe it'd better to show you than tell you.

These quotes are fruits of my insanity that I found on google.

Enjoy.

I mean, really think about it. Youtube is the overlord. We spend hours on there, killing braincells and flaming bastards who dare comment something that we don't like, and we never notice. But, I did. And I've got only one thing to say. Who gives a fuck! HAIL YOUTUBE. Me, Actually.

-All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

-Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

-Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

-Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?

-I'm going to live forever, or die trying!

-If I had something good to say, I would have already said it.

-Never knock on Death's door- ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.

-I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer!

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

-They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

-I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!

-That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

-It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-I do not deny everything.

- I deny everything

-Love me or hate me personally I could care less

-Unless you've lived my life, don't judge me because you don't know, never have & never will know every little thing & detail about me

-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism.

FRIENDS Vs. BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS:

Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS:

Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS:

Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS:

Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS:

Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS:

Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS:

Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS:

Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS:

Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS:

Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS:

Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS:

Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS:

Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS:

Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS:

Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS:

Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS:

Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS:

Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS:

Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS:

Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS:

Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS:

Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! we messed up!"

FRIENDS:

Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS:

Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS:

Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS:

Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS:

Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS:

Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS:

Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS:

Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS:

You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS:

Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS:

Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS:

Are for life.

FRIENDS:

Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS:

Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

Friends:

Freak out and help you call 911 when your house is on fire

Best Friends:

Wil be roasting marshmellows over the house fire, while flirting with the HOT fireman

THERAPY!!

1. At Lunch Time, Sit in Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer at Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don’t use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're not in the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling

"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...

POST THIS!!

WITH CHILDREN

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother,she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:"Take only ONE. God is watching'' Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples

I ran with scissors, and lived!

Silence is golden but ductape is silver.

SPAM

A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your Kindness will be rewarded

RANDOMNESS

What doesn't kill you... usually succeeds in the second attempt.

You know it's a bad day when you roll off the bed...and miss the floor.

It's not a complete day unless I scare the crap out of one of my friends.

It's you and me against the world...we attack at dawn.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you are all the same.

I'm the kind of person who walks into a door then apologizes.

Don't look at me in that tone!

Why spell it out to you if I can scream it in your face?

If you can't beat them, join them
If you can't join them, sue them,
then rub it in their faces.

"Secret Admirers" are just stalkers with stationary.

Sarcasm is your mind's natural defense against stupidity.

Death is God's way of saying "You're fired."
Suicide is our way of saying "You can't fire me! I quit!"

Seriousness!

She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: 'How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?'

The surgeon said, 'I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it.'

Sally said, 'Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?'

The surgeon asked, 'Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university.'

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. 'Would you like a lock of his hair?' the nurse asked.. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.

The mother said, 'It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. 'I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom.' She went on, 'My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could.'

Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car.

The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room.

She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them She lay down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Lying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said :

'Dear Mom,

I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say'I Love You' . I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day.. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know.

Don't be sad thinking about me.. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'where was He when I needed him?' 'God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross He was right there, as He always is with all His children.

Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have to give God His pen back now He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life . Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be great..

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore the cancer is all gone... I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?

Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.

( Let's see Satan stop this one.. ) Take 60 seconds and repost this, within the hour, you will have caused a multitude of believers to pray to God for each other. Then sit back and feel the Holy Spirit work in your life for doing what you know God loves 'When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.'

Had to do it, it's the most adorable thing since puppies.

If you know me, chances are, you hate me. But you know that doesn't really affect me. It only affects you so... Sucks to be you!

Tata for now. I'm done with the half-assed self introduction. Just read the stories that will have you up all night! Aka MINE.