Master of the Shadow Clones

AN: Ok so herein lies the rebirth of Master of the Shadow Clones! As I stated in that announcement you probably were all so happy to receive(sarcasm), this is the rewrite of the original. I mainly wanted to do this because there were a lot of inconsistencies in the story; so many that it actually discouraged me from wanting to continue. But I'm still extremely proud of this piece, as it holds my first glimpse of success on this site, so I decided that I would not quit, and instead I would go back and fix everything that needs fixing, tweak all of the technical shit, and maybe put a little more depth into it. As you read, you may notice some changes to the story, both significant and insignificant, but I will try to stay as close as possible to my original piece. I'm sorry to all of the people who have been waiting for me to stop dicking around for so long, and your patience is appreciated.

Now, to all of the people who are reading this for the first time! This story is a complete retelling of the Naruto universe, and the story is far unlike any other Naruto story you have read. This is a mature story with multiple references to drug use(marijuana), intense violence, strong language, dumb humor, satire, sexual situations and innuendo, and probably a whole lot of other shit people would get mad at me for. If you are a sensitive person, I suggest you don't read this, because at one point I'm sure I'll offend you in some way, shape or form, and I don't have the time nor do I care about your insecurities. If you read this and then try to tell me that weed is bad for you, I'll probably send you an angry review reply chock full of positive marijuana facts and a few insults. And all that jazz. See, I've begun to ramble. So I'll shut up and let you read. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1: Of Death and Demons

The resonance of destruction and chaos echoed through Minato's head as he dodged the insanely strong blows this masked man liked to dish out. While his village was being destroyed by the most powerful Tailed Beast in existence, he was stuck fighting a freakishly powerful man with impossibly long limbs and a single Sharingan eye, which frustrated him to no end. If he survived this he would have to have a word with Fugaku…

"Had enough yet? I thought you were supposed to be able to kill thousands in seconds? I'm not impressed." Minato never let taunts get to him, in fact, he prided himself on his ability to keep his composure. But when he saw Kushina's dead body, well composure was the last thing on his mind. As he slammed another Rasengan into the assailant he was not surprised to see that, once again, he had brushed off his signature technique like a fly.

"What are you made of?" Minato asked in astonishment as he flashed away. The assassin just chuckled with amusement.

"You don't wanna know the answer to that." His arm stretched out and snatched Minato by his throat, but the Hokage was gone in a flash, and he reappeared behind the assailant. Two three-pronged kunai were thrust into his back, and the assassin roared in anger as blood spilled down his back. He turned around and slammed his hands on the ground, creating a fissure that seemed to never end. Minato watched as the assassin wrenched both kunai out of his back, and he realized that it was not blood, but a thick, black liquid. The man's Sharingan pierced him with hatred from across the canyon, and then he was suddenly gone. Minato immediately turned around and started flashing towards the village, not bothering to chase him.

There was already too much at stake.

XxX

"Just a little longer! We must hold it at bay until the Hokage arrives!" One Leaf ninja shouted to his comrades. Although he didn't really believe that was possible at this point. The Nine-Tailed Demon Fox was just too powerful. Hundreds of Leaf ninja were already dead, with hundreds more wounded. It would truly take a miracle for the Leaf to come out on top.

"Fire Style: Big Flame Bullet!" Jiraiya exhaled a huge breath of fire powered up with Toad Oil right into the Nine-Tail's face. The fox reared its head back and howled in pain, but quickly countered with a tail swipe, sending Jiraiya flying to the ground. "Shit…"

"Look it's the Fourth Hokage!" Not a second after that exclamation did a loud tremor sweep through the earth as Gamabunta, the boss of the Toad Summons, landed on the Nine-Tails, flattening it against the earth. A guttural roar of defiance ripped through the air as the toad was blown away by a pulse of malevolent, crimson chakra, destroying the terrain in its path. In a bright, yellow flash, Minato appeared next to Jiraiya and helped him up. A long, hard-as-diamond staff cracked the Nine-Tails in the skull, sending it back down to the ground. The old Third Hokage had donned his armor once more in the name of his village, much to the protest of his family. 'Retirement be damned! Just because I am not the current Hokage does not mean I am not Hokage!' Of course, he was right.

"I'll hold it down Minato! You focus on the sealing!" Hiruzen jumped away and engaged the Fox after that, using the Adamantine Nyoi, a weapon which could extend as far as the eye could see and would never break or scratch. The weapon was really a transformed version of Enma, the Monkey King and personal summon of the Third Hokage.

"Sealing? What is he talking about Minato?" He asked desperately. The blonde Hokage nodded solemnly. Jiraiya then noticed that he had a bundle of blankets in his arms. "What is…" Minato looked at Jiraiya with eyes full of sorrow.

"I didn't want to have to do this…but I don't see any other choice." Jiraiya paled as the blankets shifted and a tiny hand poked out.

"Is that-"

"Yes. This is my son. It's too bad I'll never get to raise the boy."

"What do you mean?" Jiraiya already understood the reason for Naruto's presence. He was to become the next Jinchuriki of the Nine-Tails, like his mother before him. But why wouldn't Minato be able to raise him? "What have you done boy?"

"'I've created the most complex and efficient sealing technique for a Jinchuriki. With this seal, I will split the Nine Tails Chakra in half, Yin and Yang, and seal both halves in myself and Naruto respectively. Then over the years as Naruto's chakra coils grow, he will start to slowly absorb the Nine-Tail's chakra until he absorbs all of it." As Minato explained this, Jiraiya stared at him in amazement. Jiraiya was probably the only person in the Hidden Leaf who truly understood just how hard a seal of that magnitude would be to pull off, and yet Minato talked about it like it was a simple exploding tag.

"How the hell did you create something like that? Furthermore, how are you going to hit the Fox with that huh? And you still haven't answered my question about why you can't raise Naruto." Jiraiya was talking too fast and too seriously, but Minato understood his concern.

"Kushina…is dead. Someone figured out that Kushina went into labor, and a man with a single Sharingan eye came to where we were doing the birth. The ANBU were dead before they knew what was going on. I saved Naruto but…" The blonde Hokage looked down and shuddered, "…dammit that was what he had wanted me to do. I was in my safehouse when suddenly I felt the Nine-Tail's chakra, and I knew there was nothing I could do. By the time I got back, the Nine-Tails was free and a kunai was buried to the hilt in her head." Jiraiya was visibly taken aback by his student's bluntness. It wasn't like him.

"We'll get him-"

"No we won't. You can, I won't. I have a date with death in a few moments. That's one date you won't see for awhile Sensei, but I guess the hookers will hold you over until then. Just tell Hiruzen that I'm sorry I failed him. Oh, and if you see Kakashi please tell him the same." Minato stated as he interrupted the Sannin.

"What? What do you mean you have a date with death? I don't like how you're talkin' right now Minato. If you seal the Nine-Tails-"

"I will die." Minato interrupted once again, this time with finality. "The cost of power is great Sensei. You should know that. In this case, it's my soul. But I'm willing to pay it if it will save the village. It's the least I can do." Jiraiya was totally baffled.

"Least you can do! You won the fucking war! And don't give me the humble shit boy; you and I both know it's damn true. That's why you wear that hat." The white haired man stated angrily.

"And it's because I wear this hat that I have to do this. It is a Hokage's duty to sacrifice himself for the village. If this is what I must do to save the home that I love and cherish, then so be it." Minato rebutted sadly. Jiraiya could only fume silently as his once eager and positive student-turned-Hokage got ready to sacrifice himself. "'Just promise me one thing Sensei." Jiraiya glared at Minato for a long second before he sighed and shook his head. Stubborn boy.

"Anything Minato. Name it and I'll do it."

"Watch over him for me. I just…I just want him to be happy. He deserves it." Jiraiya nodded.

"I'll do it. As the boy's Godfather it's my duty right?" Minato smiled.

"Thank you Sensei. You don't know how much that means to me." Minato then turned to see the Demon Fox barred in a cage made out of the Adamantine Nyoi.

"Now Minato!" Hiruzen shouted as the fox bellowed in rage. The Blonde Hokage nodded handed Naruto to Jiraiya before pulling out a scroll and making the last hand sign he would ever make. "Goodbye Sensei. Dead Demon Consuming Seal!" The scroll opened, and a large, circular seal with a whirlpool pattern flashed red as blue chakra chains shot out of it and almost mummified the Fox. Enma transformed back to normal as the chains slowly lifted the Nine-Tails into the air and ripped it in half, an image that would stay seared into the minds of every ninja fighting that day. The two halves were then pulled back and siphoned into both Naruto and Minato's bodies. Identical seals appeared on their stomachs, and Naruto's crying had ceased. Gamabunta, who had recovered just moments ago, knelt down next to Jiraiya as the Sannin caught Minato in his arms.

"What did I miss?" Jiraiya glared at the Toad Boss.

"Everything you fool."

"What! How dare you call me a fool Jiraiya. Forget Snakeskin wallets, I could use a new Jiraiya-skin wallet!" The toad bellowed challengingly.

"I'm not in the mood to joke around Gamabunta. Minato is dying." That got the toads attention, and his demeanor did a three-sixty.

"Minato! What happened?" The Hokage laughed hoarsely.

"Details details…what does it matter now? I did what I had to do. The village is safe, Naruto is safe, and I retrieved the Nine-Tails, although that never really mattered. Now I just need to rest…" Jiraiya shook him.

"Not yet. We can save you Minato. Just don't give up!" Jiraiya wanted to take Minato and run, but with Naruto in his arms he couldn't carry both. And he certainly wasn't going to leave either of them.

"No. I saw the Death God. I saw his arm as it reached into my stomach and ripped out my soul. I know it was real too." He coughed. "Don't worry Sensei, everything is fine now. Just take care of Naruto and everything will…be…" His words were swept up in the wind as his life faded away, and not a second later, a bolt of yellow lightning streaked across the sky. Jiraiya gazed at it in awe before he started to laugh.

"Even after you're dead, you're still the fastest."

XxX

"That's quite a story Jiraiya." Hiruzen Sarutobi commented. Jiraiya had explained, in detail, Minato's final moments to the newly reinstated Third Hokage as soon as he returned to the village.

"And now we have his legacy to protect." Jiraiya said, looking down at Naruto. The blonde baby was fast asleep, with a look of serenity on its face. "I promised Minato I would look after the boy, and I won't go back on my word." Hiruzen nodded in agreement.

"Yes, I think that is the best course of action. Unfortunately, now that I have my old position back, I do not believe I would be able to adequately care for the boy. But Jiraiya, how do you expect the village to react? Surely they will call for Naruto's blood." A look of pure anger and determination appeared on Jiraiya's face.

"They'll have to go through me first. I'll kill anyone who tries to harm Naruto, Leaf ninja or not." Hiruzen could tell that Jiraiya was completely serious, and he honestly couldn't blame him. Jiraiya was going to treat the boy like his very own flesh and blood.

"I understand your feelings Jiraiya, but please do not do anything stupid." Jiraiya shook his head.

"It would be stupid on their part, not mine." Hiruzen sighed. He would just have to accept Jiraiya's aggressiveness. The door to the Hokage's office suddenly opened, and both Hiruzen and Jiraiya frowned. "Danzo." The old war hawk shuffled into the room, his face being an emotionless mask. What you could see of it at least.

"Hiruzen. And Jiraiya, you're here as well." Jiraiya 'tched' at the man and took a seat in the corner of the room. Danzo ignored Jiraiya's blatant disrespect and moved to sit in front of Hiruzen.

"How can I help you Danzo?" Danzo looked over at Jiraiya, and his eyes locked on to the boy in his arms.

"So that's the Jinchuriki of the Nine-Tails." Jiraiya head snapped up and he glared at the elder. Danzo turned back to Hiruzen. "I have a request." Hiruzen raised his eyebrow.

"What do you request?"

"I wish to take the boy under my wing and train him myself."

"Absolutely not!" Jiraiya interjected.

"You are not the Hokage." Danzo shot back with a glare.

"But I am. And Jiraiya has already been given custody of the boy." Danzo's single eye narrowed.

"You would waste the opportunity to create a powerful weapon for the Leaf because of sentimentality? You are a fool Hiruzen." Jiraiya stood up now, enraged at the old man.

"He is not meant to be a weapon! He's a hero you bastard! Minato would never let anyone use his son as a weapon and dammit I won't either!" Danzo's eyes widened.

"Son…?" Hiruzen nodded.

"Yes, Naruto is in fact the son of our late Fourth Hokage. That is why the Nine-Tails was sealed into him, because Minato did not think it would be appropriate to use another person's child if he could not sacrifice his own." Danzo sat in silence for a moment before standing.

"Very well. But you are making a mistake." With that, the old war hawk exited the room. Jiraiya glared at the door.

"That man pisses me off."

XxX

"I wonder what the Hokage wants to tell us." Maito Gai commented as all of the ninja and civilians in the village gathered around the Hokage Tower.

"I'm sure it has something to do with…recent events." Kakashi Hatake answered. At 15, Kakashi was already one of the most respected ninja in the village, having achieved the rank of Jonin at age 13, and ANBU only a year later. Along with him were Maito Gai, one of Kakashi's friends and an eccentric Chuunin, Asuma Sarutobi, son of the Third Hokage and a Chuunin as well, and Shikaku Nara, lazy genius of the Nara Clan and Jonin rank ninja.

"It looks like we'll be finding out now." Shikaku said, pointing at the Hokage, who had just emerged from the tower. He stood on top of the tower, and he activated a technique that would amplify his voice.

"Thank you all for coming. I know many of you are busy rebuilding your shops and homes, so I promise to make this quick." Behind the Hokage stood his former student. In Jiraiya's arms he held a bundle of blankets. "As you know, our Fourth Hokage gave his life to defeat the Nine-Tails in combat and save our village." Murmurs of sorrow and regret spread through the crowd. Everyone had been affected by the death of their Leader. "But what most of you don't know is that a Tailed Beast cannot truly be defeated. Instead, they must be sealed into something…or someone." At this point, Jiraiya stepped forward, handing Naruto to the Third. "Before he died, Minato used a Sealing Technique of great power to seal the Fox into his own son." The crowd was deathly quiet. That piece of information had hit them like a hammer. "The Fourth Hokage's final wish was to see his son treated like a hero, because he is what keeps the Nine-Tails at bay. Without him, we may not be here right now." There was a low murmur that reverberated through the crowd. Most of the people there didn't really know how to feel about this. On one hand, Sarutobi was right. He was keeping the Nine-Tails at bay. On the other hand, what if the Nine-Tails was able to control the boy, or worse, break the seal. "I understand how many of you may feel," Hiruzen continued, "but you must understand that there is nothing to fear. The seal is the strongest of its kind, and there is no way the Demon Fox could escape." Hiruzen knew that wasn't entirely true, but the only people who could let the fox free were Minato and Jiraiya. And eventually, Naruto. "So please, I beseech all of you to view this boy as a hero, and not as a demon. Honor the memory of the Fourth Hokage by treating his legacy with respect and kindness."

Hiruzen observed the crowd. Some of the people seemed to accept his speech, and held no hostility towards Naruto. But he could tell not everyone shared the same sentiment. Some were angry, whether it was over the loss of a comrade or what have you, and wanted Naruto's head as payment. He sighed as he turned around to report back to his office. It would be a hectic day, and he needed a little time to prepare himself.

'I'm going to need my pipe to get through this one.'

XxX

The Hokage, Clan Heads, and all of the other important people in the Leaf Village sat around a long conference table. At the head sat the Hokage himself, with his one remaining student seated on the right side of him. Then there were the two village elders, Homura Mitokado and Koharu Utatane, as well as Danzo Shimura. There were the Clan Heads, Hiashi Hyuuga, Inoichi Yamanaka, Chouza Akimichi, Shikaku Nara, Fugaku Uchiha, Shibi Aburame, and Tsume Inuzuka. Hiruzen represented the Sarutobi Clan. Then there were the representatives of the civilian sector, Jizuna Kaikoru and Daidashi Tsukedo.

"You made a bold declaration today Hiruzen. Do you think it was smart to inform the village of Naruto's Jinchuriki status?" Koharu asked skeptically.

"I did what I thought was right. Minato's last request was that Naruto be treated as a hero. I must respect his wishes."

"And in doing so you have wasted a valuable tool." Danzo interjected. Jiraiya clenched his fists but stayed silent. An outburst from him would only hurt Sarutobi's argument.

"We will not discuss this again Danzo. Naruto will be placed under the care of Jiraiya. He is the boy's godfather, and he is next in line to receive him." Danzo shifted in his seat but said nothing more.

"While I understand your reasons Lord Hokage," Hiashi supplied, "I see much wisdom in Danzo's opinion. With a weapon like that, surely our enemies would think twice before any kind of attack." Danzo smirked.

"I agree as well. This is an opportunity we cannot afford to pass up." Koharu announced.

"This is not up for discussion. As the Hokage I have already given my judgment on the matter. Do you wish to defy your Hokage?" That silenced everyone. "Good. Now, let's move on to the next order of business. Our forces are greatly diminished at this point. We lost too many ninja to the Nine-Tails, and our forces are the weakest they have been since after the last war. In order to counter this problem, I must ask that all Clan Heads be reinstated as active ninja and start accepting missions again." A few of the Clan Heads seems surprised, but others just nodded.

"Anything for the village." Shikaku replied.

"Fine with me." Tsume added.

"While I do not disagree with this course of action, who will run our clans for us?" Fugaku asked.

"Relegate your responsibilities to the Clan Elders if you must. But we need our strongest ninja out on missions to show that we are not so weak. My student will be accepting missions as well. In the mean time, we will do a complete overhaul of the Ninja Academy curriculum so that students can be promoted to Genin at an earlier age. It may not be the best course of action, but we need to bolster our numbers." No one voiced their disagreement, so Hiruzen leaned back in his chair. "That is all I have to say. If any of you wish to speak the floor is yours." Shikaku Nara cleared his throat.

"I think we should restore Jonin status to a good portion of our ANBU. It would give the appearance of having a larger army, and they could still take on similar missions." Hiruzen nodded.

"That sounds like a good idea. Does anyone have any objections?" No one said anything. "Very well, I will see that it is done." Shikaku nodded. "Anything else?" It stayed silent. "Good, then this meeting is adjourned."

XxX

"Wait, what?" Kakashi was confused. He had just been called into the Hokage's Office to find out that he was essentially being kicked out of ANBU and being reinstated as a Jonin. While it didn't really bother him, he'd rather have stayed in ANBU. "I'm confused Lord Hokage."

"You see Kakashi, after the attack from the Nine-Tails our forces are at an all time low. By reinstating you as a Jonin, your name is back on the roster, and our numbers are bolstered. As an ANBU, you aren't technically on the official list of ninja." Hiruzen explained.

"I see. Well, anything for the village Lord Hokage." Hiruzen smiled. With that, Kakashi exited the office, leaving Hiruzen alone. That had been the last ANBU-turned-Jonin of the day, and the Hokage didn't have another appointment until later that evening. So he took out his pipe and packed it full of grinded up marijuana. While many would say that it was immoral to smoke the substance, Hiruzen disagreed. In fact, he knew many ninja in his force smoked the stuff after a stressful day or mission. It was better than tobacco, because it was completely harmless, and the feeling you got was much more relaxing. So, he lit his pipe and took a long hit, keeping the smoke deep in his lungs, and exhaling after a few seconds. Just then, he heard a knocking on his window, and he only knew of one person with the audacity to enter through the window.

"Come in Jiraiya." The window slid open, and Jiraiya hopped into the room. "Keep the window open." Jiraiya walked over to the desk, and the scent of the smoke filled his nose.

"Stressful day?" Hiruzen just nodded and set the pipe down in front of Jiraiya, who picked it up and took a hit. "Oh yea, that's the good stuff." Hiruzen shook his head with a smile.

"What do you need Jiraiya?" The Sannin set the pipe down and shrugged.

"Nothing really. I've just been a little on edge. Naruto is a handful. I think this is the first time he's slept in two days. I love the kid but he's a damn handful. So I left thirty Shadow Clones and decided to pop in for a visit." Hiruzen chuckled.

"Well he is Minato's son." Jiraiya scoffed.

"More than you know it. Did you know he can already walk? He's a month old! That should be physically impossible!" Hiruzen's eyes widened.

"That's impressive. He's going to make a fine ninja one day." Jiraiya nodded.

"You bet your ass he is. And I'm going to be the one who trains him."

"Well of course you are. You're the only one who can." Hiruzen took another hit of the pipe and exhaled slowly. "You just better be careful. Who knows who might target him." Jiraiya sighed.

"I'm not so much worried about attack from within the village. Most of the ninja forces accept the fact that Naruto is just a host surprisingly. It's mostly the civilians who distrust him. I'm more worried about Hidden Rock…"

"Yes, if anyone were to make an attempt on his life it would be them." Back in the Third War, Minato had singlehandedly defeated entire battalions of Rock ninja literally in seconds with his Flying Thunder God Technique. It was how he got the nickname the Leaf's Yellow Flash. Since then the Hidden Rock had harbored an intense hatred for Minato and by association the Leaf Village. And surely that hatred would now be directed at Naruto.

"I know I can handle any assassins, and I have traps set up all over my estate, but I'm still worried y'know?"

"It's natural for you to be. He's your godson." Jiraiya sighed and walked back over to the window.

"Yea. Well, I should be getting back. Shadow Clones can get kinda stupid sometimes." With that, Jiraiya jumped out the window and returned to his abode. Hiruzen continued to smoke his pipe, hoping that soon everything would finally return to normal.

XxX

AN: Well, there you have it. I'm sure there are a few things you're probably like "what the fuck" about, so let me explain. Jiraiya will stay and take care of Naruto, because he should have always been there for him. Especially as his Godfather. Also I'm not keeping Naruto's situation/heritage a secret. This time, he will know from the very beginning, and we'll see how that plays out. As for the weed thing, well I just smoke a lot of weed, so I like throwing it in my stories. Sue me. The next chapter will start with a time skip, although how far along I can't say, I haven't decided. It definitely won't be all the way to the academy, but it will be more than just a few years. I'm going to try and keep Naruto not overpowered, but it's going to be hard, considering Jiraiya is going to be training him. And it won't be half assed training. So, hopefully you enjoyed this, and next chapter will come along eventually. Peace.