I quickly wrote this so I could upload it as soon as possible as a thanks to "The Demons' Little Shipper/BIG yaoi fangirl" Thanks for your reviews.

Epilogue

Naruto's POV

"If you could change it, so you never had met that teacher would you?" Dr. Shizune said slowly.

"Yes," I answered immediately. Of course I would. She nodded and wrote something down.

"Even though it would change the way things are now?" I nodded

"Especially because it would change things. I wouldn't be such a freak. I would be normal. Have friends, normal conversations, normal fears… I would be happy." I said quietly.

"Why do you think that? How can you be so sure you'll be happy if you didn't meet him"

"Because I would be normal" I said immediately. "I know its boring being normal. I don't mind being a little weird. Those people are usually pretty fun to be around" I couldn't help but smile and think about all those at home. Kiba, Sai, Shikamaru... I liked being together with everyone and they each had their own quirk.

"But me… I'm not weird. I don't have that fun quirk that makes me special and good company. I'm a freak. I just… I just hope I can go back to how I was before". I felt the knot in my stomach tighten. My hands were shaking a little, but I tried to conceal it by fiddling with the hem of my t-shirt.

"But if you went back you wouldn't be with Gaara?" I hesitated. Would I really do it then? My stomach churned. Never be friends with him. Never to be able to kiss him, to hug him. I sighed. "No… I don't think I would be able to do it. I would never leave him until he asks me to do so."

"Why do you assume he would that?"

"Because I'm too much trouble. I'm not… I" I took a shaky breath.

"What exactly is it about you that you don't think is good enough for him? Because from the short meeting with him it seemed to me he really liked you." Dr. Shizune asked gently.

I sighed "I'm not really that bright and happy person anymore. Inside I'm not… I don't feel….I don't feel whole, or like….right?" I mumbled. It was hard to put words on it. "I don't think I can ever forget what happened. I hurt myself, or I did. I can't help but feel disgusted whenever I look at my body.. all those marks. I know Gaara is rough with me for my sake. But I still feel sickened when I look at the marks he leaves on my body. He shouldn't have to do that. He should be happy… with someone who is- erm- who isn't messed up like me." By now my voice sounded weird because of the lump in my throat and I could taste blood in my mouth from biting the inside of my cheek. She gave me a gentle smile

"You're not a freak. You've come a long way. You have stopped hurting yourself, so you should be proud of yourself for that. I know how hard that was for you"

"I guess. And thanks by the way, those techniques have really helped me to not hurt myself again. I still have the urges and some really macabre thoughts… And they scare me. I'm frightened by how far out I was and I don't think I could have done it without you"

"I'm just glad I could be of use. But see. You're getting better and better. How is it going with the physical contact since last time?"

"Uhm… When I'm in a good mood I can easily be together with Gaara.. and as long as someone isn't giving me a surprise hug, I can touch the people I'm feeling comfortable around. My cheeks are still a no-go, but it's not as bad as before since Gaara is slowly trying to get me to feel comfortable being touched there too" I said happily.

"But you still have bad days?" She said and seemed a little worried. "I thought we had made good progress the last couple of sessions, since the nightmares weren't as frequent anymore" She sounded like she really felt bad about it, and that was what made me comfortable with talking about these kind of things with her.

"They are getting better. Gaara knows how to act around me when I'm having a bad day and he knows what to say to the others. I haven't really talked to the others about it. But I have noticed they keep some space between us, so I guess Gaara told them something" I shrugged. I didn't like talking about these things with the others, and I'm sure Gaara knew that.

"He really loves you" She smiled at me.

"I know… But I still can't see why" I said despondent.

She sighed loudly. "You really have to stop thinking like that, but I guess we will continue working on it next time. We're almost finished for today. I think it went well today, what do you think?" She said in a warm tone.

"I guess.." I swallowed a little thickly and nodded "Yeah, I think it went okay."

She got up reached her hand out towards me. I slowly took her hand and shook it. I felt the usual weird tingling feeling down my spine. It felt like my body was telling me it wasn't normal to touch others, but it was progress from the disgust and fear I felt before. This feeling could be ignored.

Gaara's POV

I looked at the clock. He was almost done with the session. I was contemplating whether I should call him or not. I was always a little worried when he had an appointment. I could still remember the time he came home and went straight to his room and wouldn't talk to me. Luckily I had a spare key and after some persuasion I finally got him to talk.

Apparently they had used that whole session to talk about his relationship with Sasuke. He had been so angry at her. Telling me again and again how she had just twisted everything he had said around. That she said things about Sasuke that wasn't true. It had been hard to listen to it. I knew why he was angry. I could hear the emotion behind it all. He sounded so hurt by the things she had said. So hurt by the fact that Sasuke had just left.

I knew that but it hurt to see him cry over another person. It meant that that person meant a lot to him. A lot more than maybe I did. I shook my head. I shouldn't think like that. I was just beginning to feel a little uneasy since he began the sessions. I could see him change slowly. He was getting better and better and a part of me was scared.

I was exhilarated over the fact that I could now touch him almost all the time, but I could see that the privilege of touching him was something I didn't have to myself anymore. He was now beginning to be able to touch others and I hated that. I had felt special before. I was the only one he had told all those things about, the only one he would touch, the one he would come to when he felt bad… now he talked to her about everything.

I sighed. I shouldn't feel like this. He was happier now. He didn't sneak into my room all the time because of nightmares anymore. He didn't hurt himself, even though I had felt uneasy every time he looked a little too long at some of the knives in the kitchen sometimes. He was finally beginning to get his biggest wish fulfilled. He was beginning to be normal. I should just stay on the sidelines and help him.

I looked down at my assignment and tried to finish it before he came home.

Naruto's POV

I knocked on Gaara's door. I always needed to be with him after these sessions. Somehow Gaara mended the feeling of being ripped open and observed that I sometimes felt when I went there.

"Back again" Gaara said as he opened the door "How did it go?"

"It was.. ok" I shrugged. We had talked mostly about how I was feeling about myself this time. He didn't ask anymore and I knew he could feel my reluctance to talk about it.

"It's not because I don't want you too know."

"It's fine. We don't have to talk about it" He slipped back in his monotone voice. I grabbed his arms and looked into his eyes.

"Stop doing this. Don't cut me off all the time. If you have a problem with me tell me. I'm working so hard to be someone who can be beside you, so if there's something I should change say it" He looked shocked and then suddenly anger took over.

"WHAT" I tried to come up with the reason why he should be angry.

"You're the one cutting me off. You don't talk about your sessions at all, unless I force it out of you. Why can't you talk to me? Don't you trust me anymore? Am I suddenly not good enough anymore, now that you can finally be with other people?" I bit into my bottom lip to stop it from quivering.

"No. How can you say that? I trust you. It's just hard. I feel so raw whenever I come home, so I just want to be together with you without having my dark side polluting our time together. Believe me. I won't leave you. I could never do that. Ask me. I promise I will tell you what ever you want"

"Okay" He said calmly. I sat down on the bed and pulled him down beside me.

"What do you talk about? You have never really told me that much. Does she know something I don't?"

"She does.."

"Why?" He sounded a little angry again.

"We started talking about what happened that time.. with my teacher.. Then it just.. we talked about my family, Sasuke, you." I gave him a small smile.

"We have talked about what I want to change about myself and why and such things. It's not like she knows a lot more about me than you… I have just talked in more details about that time, about my self harm and about Sasuke. It's not because I don't trust you. I just don't like you to see those sides of me. I just feel pathetic… So I just want to talk to her about it, and then have her help me make it disappear. That's why I like coming home to you. You heal me. She slowly reopens every scar I have and then you heal them until they're gone. So can't we just continue not talking about them? I just want to forget about it all. If you want you can come with me again. She asked me last time about having you sit there like with my first meeting." I said unsure about his reaction.

The first time I had to meet her had made me really nervous, so Gaara ended up sitting beside me throughout the first session. It hadn't been hard, mostly because we didn't really talk about my problems. It was just a short meeting to get to know each other and to make me more comfortable.

"If you want me there…" He said softly.

"I don't mind" I said quickly. I didn't know what was wrong with him, but if he really was so bottered about it I wanted to help.

"Sorry" Gaara said after a short silence had fallen between us.

"I know it's hard for you. I just feel like you're slipping away somehow" I frowned

"Why"

"You're getting better. I just don't feel spe-… You're together with other people and talking and having fun, and you wouldn't talk about your sessions.. and.." I cupped his cheeks and kissed him.

"I'm not going anywhere. It's because of you. Everything is because of you. I'm getting better because you're here helping me though it all, don't forget that" I crawled into his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt him hug back and soon after he was kissing me.

"I love you" I felt him stiffen at my words. We had never said those three words to each other. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"I really love you. You were the first person to make me feel… normal. You saw me in my darkest moments and instead of feeling disgusted you helped me. You made me feel like, maybe I wasn't so different from everyone else. Maybe I could be someone who was special. So don't think I would ever leave you. This place here. Right in your arms. This is were I feel most comfortable. This is were I can be myself. I don't have to put on a mask. I don't have to fake anything, because I know you will be there no matter what and that you will help me through it." I felt the tears tickle down my cheeks and opened my eyes to see his reaction. The sight shocked me. He was crying too.

"Wha-" He pulled me into a kiss.

"I love you too" He whispered against my lips

"You taught me how to feel again and the only place I feel happiness is here with you, so I'll never let you go no matter what." The words brought me such a warm feeling inside me and even though we were both crying, I had never been so happy in my life.

Wow.. It's finished. It has been such a great experience. I hope you all liked it.