This story was nothing short of incredible

Your summary said there was a small change somewhere, but we have no idea as to what you were reffering to. So, we don't know if the change happened already, if it's still coming, if it makes a shred of difference. So far it doesn't look any different than canon, but it might be, and we just don't know what we're looking at.

It's good for a writer to provoke questions, but, so far it's so vague we're not even on the map. Also you would probably get more readers if you pointed out the incident in question. Unless it's just a dumb little thing that people would dismiss. But, even that might provoke interest, "how does this dumb little thing change canon?"

What's with you and the way you treat those reading your story and the characters?! Ease up, and give everyone a break from the extreme cloak and dagger crap you keep throwing out. This could be a good story, but you keep lighting it on fire every other chapter.

Boring af.

uhmm. that to say, this was strange, this ending was good to close the story in just one installement. but still rend as confusing for someone who wont watch bleach is, was really cool too, but man you have a knack for bittersweet endings.

For the most part I thought this story was just ok, but Naruto's conversation with Tsunade was fantastic. Nicely done. Thanks!

I'm not super fond of the ending to this one, for as interesting and engaging as the story was up until that point. Indeed, this story has done better than many others at exploring alternate pathways that could potentially have been followed using the existing circumstances of the canon story (although it relies heavily on fanon ideas of what the Hyuga clan is like and how ninja government works, and some of the characterization with Naruto and Hinata smacks of fixfiction tropes).

The ending, though, involves the unfortunate choice of literally killing off the main characters. This is an unfortunate choice not because it's a sad ending, but because the story had already set Naruto and Hinata up with some serious long-term consequences that they needed to live and grow with, essentially scarring both forever in one way or another. Narratively, cutting their lives short without giving the characters a chance to explore those dynamics leaves things pretty damn unsatisfying. What was the point of re-uniting Naruto with his parents and beginning an arc where he doesn't know how to feel about suddenly having a family... when there's no middle or end to the arc? Why bother Orochimaru-ifying Hinata and beginning an arc where she has to cope with fundamental changes to both her body and appearance if she's going to be killed off a short time afterward? In this sense, the ending is abrupt and eradicates interesting potential storylines that could have been expanded on in future works. It teases ideas that are amazing and then takes those ideas behind the barn with a shotgun. It's frustrating.

There are ways to do tragic endings but this was not it. And I sort of understand some of the logic here. It is an obvious compensation for how much skill and power Naruto and Hinata (and even Lee) gain in this series of events, to have this series of events end in more pain and tragedy than the relatively idyllic one that the canon storyline followed. But the story had already met its quota with regard to that, and exceeded it, before the ending. Contriving a way for all three battles to end in both parties dying feels like a bridge too far.

That said, "Naruto Asunder" has otherwise been a really engaging story and I've had a good time with it. I feel like it could have been done better and that the ending could have had more of a mixed result in which Naruto and Hinata, at least, survive (Lee opening the eighth gate and dying to defeat Kisame actually does feel right on its own, though), and go on to work through the challenges life throws at them. In addition, a version of reality where Naruto decides against becoming Hokage feels like a version of reality worth exploring.

Honestly I’m not reading this story but blame the people that reviewed it because saying someone should die because they “don’t write good stories” is wrong immoral and plain disgusting, the point of having review is to give constructive criticism not to bash and slander a person for the sake of it, if you have any qualms you need to justify yourself it’s like being on trial for murdering someone and when the judge asks why you say i dont know how’s it supposed to help anyone

Nah, dear. No one wants to read this trash. It would be better if you just killed yourself, virgin trashbag.

Hi! I just found your story and I'm already unable to stop reading :) This chapter five is full of ominous stuff, I love it :) there's something at the beginning of each chapter which confuse me though, not strictly related to story itself: the chapters' numbers. Like in the second chapter, after the caption of "chapter two" it was written "chapter one, three years later". It's a bit confusing
I like your style. I'm a mess when I try to write from a third point of you, but you make it seem so easy :)

Honestly, this is supposed to be a better Naruto story so why is he so god damn pathetic, it's like a fucking child all over again

Sounds shity

I’m crying... this is such a well written story. I feel the characters emotion as if I was right there next to them. I love the character growth and the way the characters interact with each other.

Well damn. Quite an unusual ending, as most don't go that route. 8/10, mostly cause it felt almost rushed towards the end

Yeah ! We are finally free from ours backwarded traditions and bigoted ways ! Let's show everyone how we are going to change for the better by applying thoses same cruel laws we have just be free from to the one who saved us all. That's sure to show everyone that it is a true new beginning for our clan right ?