This isn't really a mafia story by the way although there might be some mention of it. Just Tsuna and co. being normal (or not so normal) civilians who tend to tread the fine lines of legality…or outright ignore them.

"Japanese"

"English"

Chapter 6: The Teen Who Likes to Destroy

There was something about this teenager that brought several of Tsuna's friends to mind. Takeshi's well hidden ruthlessness for one. Kyoya's not so well hidden bloodlust for another. Most of prevalent all was Mukuro's distrustful slyness and way of classifying you for your value as a tool. And while each trait wasn't quite as defined as in each of his friends, all of it simmered together under the façade of genial courtesy and attractive looks.

Ren had made an offhand comment about being the youngest of four yesterday. With the way each sibling that appeared seemed to be more and more dangerous, Tsuna was a bit apprehensive about meeting the oldest. Would he be a devil in disguise?

"Hello. I'm your neighbor, Maggiore Rinato."

Rinato's Japanese was flawless, but inflected with enough of a foreign accent to give him an exotic edge.

"I've heard that you've been taking care of my brothers. I know that they can be a handful."

He really was handsome too. All dark eyes and wild dark hair. And those ridiculous curly sideburns that Ren and Rein both possessed. It had to be genetic.

"Thank you for being so patient with them." He bowed a little and stepped closer into Tsuna's personal bubble.

So charming and polite with overtones of flirtatiousness and danger.

But Tsuna was by far more experienced with attractive geniuses who also happened to be semi-adjusted dangerously sadistic psychopaths.

First impressions weren't everything, but they had a great impact on how consequent interactions would be perceived. Thus Tsuna had made the first strike by preparing an outfit beforehand and doing what he did best. Looking cute and fluffy and innocent. Like an absolute herbivore as Kyoya had once said. Tsuna was an omnivore in an herbivore's clothing. Literally.

His intuition had been badgering him since yesterday and kept Tsuna from having as good of a night's rest as he had wanted. The small vindictive streak in Tsuna that rarely had a chance to play reverberated with satisfaction at the fleetingly thrown expression on Rinato's face when he had first laid eyes on him.

Tsuna had spent several years running through Namimori in only his boxers. Sometimes even less. His adult sized caramel colored bunny onesie pajama was painstakingly designed and crafted by both Kyoko and Haru for maximum cuteness and comfort. It was not even remotely embarrassing to be seen wearing this after what he had been through over the years.

A tired-looking Rein stood by Rinato's side and seemed to being falling sleep on his feet while Ren studied Tsuna's pajamas with interest from atop Rin's shoulders. Ren's new hat was a rubber duck with a black fedora, tie, and eyes. His family's signature sideburns hung from the side of its head.

"Sorry. I don't have any-" Tsuna yawned, turned his head a little, and clutched the edge of his too long sleeve to cover his mouth. "Anything prepared right now." He sleepily rubbed at an eye, disregarding how one long ear the same color as his hair flopped forward from the hood still pulled over his head.

"My mother just sent me a lot of food though so I can heat up an early breakfast and make you something to drink."

He ushered the trio in and closed the back door.

"Way too early." Grumbled Rein.

"If you had gone to bed when I did, then you wouldn't be so tired."

"If you had waited until sunrise, then I wouldn't be so tired," he shot back at Ren.

Tsuna smiled and gently ruffled Rein's hair, causing the boy to lean into his touch. Ren hopped off Rinato's shoulder and onto Tsuna who was glad that his onesie was so baggy. That meant that it wouldn't choke him later when Ren inevitably decided that he wanted to share it.

Then Tsuna tilted his head to Rinato, still sleepy eyed, still soft and squishy, still deceptively harmless and smiled just as gently at him as he had with his brother.

There was a panther lurking behind those glittering ebony eyes. A young, but true carnivore. However, Rinato, dangerous as he was, was only part of whatever his little brothers had planned and that the teen himself wasn't exactly aware of it.

'Hyper Intuition. How I love thee.' Ignorance was bliss, but Tsuna had been through too much to not appreciate its uses. Even if he would have been perfectly happy not having a clue about what his friends liked to think about him.

Rinato was staring at his butt. Tsuna could tell even though he wasn't looking. That was fine. The big pom pom that made his tail was rather eye-catching.

Now where was the bag of Robusta beans? It seemed like he'd have to dig a bit deeper.

"Found it!"

Triumphantly, Tsuna crawled out of his cabinet and back into the light of the kitchen. The fact that he could fit inside meant that he'd have to pay a visit to Mr. H to restock soon.

"And the bunny emerges from his burrow." Rinato snarked.

Rein snickered.

Ren popped out as well, still holding the flashlight that he had been shining around for Tsuna.

"It's like Aladdin's magic cave in there. Only with coffee beans instead of gold."

"You like coffee that much?" Rinato had originally wanted a cappuccino and was more than ready to inflict condescending criticism disguised as suggestions for improvement depending on how much his requested drink would fail to match his standards. Then Tsuna dumped graffiti covered binders with all sorts of blend and brew recipes in front of him and told him to pick whatever he wanted. He even gave him a list of the current types of beans that he had.

After selecting a suitably customized caffe' latte brew, Rinato sat back and watched as Tsuna disappeared entirely into a cabinet with his youngest brother only to reemerge with a couple different bags of coffee beans.

"Actually, I don't like coffee at all. I prefer tea."

Rinato raised a disbelieving brow as he continued to flick through the binder. Ooooh. This one looked nice. If Crazy-Tsuna turned out to be as good as Ren and Rein seemed to think he was, then he was definitely going to have to try out this one. The instructions were clear and precise and very very specific about everything from the ratio of the beans to mix, to the type of roast and even how finely they needed to be grinded. He might have to copy some of these for himself.

Reborn usually preferred a heavy roasted espresso without any other additions, but Rinato enjoyed experimenting no matter how much his brother would shake his head over whatever he didn't consider true coffee. Tch. He could be such a coffee snob.

"Then why do you have so many beans?" asked Ren.

"Well, for starters, other people who come here drink a lot of coffee and I need a wide variety to cater to their individual tastes and moods."

Tsuna pushed aside what had seemed to simply be a decorative screen to reveal something huge covered by a sheet. Pulling the sheet off revealed two large commercial grade espresso machines sitting on top of a shelf with a flowery cover.

"And after working with them for so long, the beans sort of grew on me until I came to like them too. Not as much as my former boss though."

Then he flipped up the cover to reveal two lower shelves with at least three stainless steel burr grinders and a whole host of different coffee makers. The man frowned for a moment but selected two grinders and dropped the sheet.

"Where on earth is Shii-chan? She loves it when people ask for caffe' lattes."

Dropping the a third of the selected bean mix into one and the rest into the other, Tsuna switched them on and then started opening different drawers and even commandeered his flashlight back from Ren to return to the cave of beans.

"Is it the bunny ears?" he muttered to himself. Then Tsuna groaned and face palmed. "Of course it's the bunny ears."

Then Tsuna spun around.

"Sorry Shii-chan, but we have guests and it's not polite to keep them waiting. I'll play hide 'n seek with you next time. Yoshi-kun. Where's Shii-chan?"

Rinato stared. He didn't realize that when Ren and Rein had called their neighbor crazy, they actually meant it. Following Crazy-Tsuna's gaze to the pink and silver coffee maker, he had to blink his eyes a couple of times when a line of light seemed to slide across a silver edging and jump to another corner without crossing the pink side. …What?

"Too early Rin. Don't think too hard about it."

Rinato looked down at his younger brother who waggled a few fingers in the mimicry of a wave and then at the coffee maker who twinkled back brightly.

Ren waved to Yoshi-kun as well and received another twinkle for his efforts.

"Crazy-Tsuna and Yoshi-kun made us hot chocolate yesterday," he said as if that would explain everything.

"…"

The scrape of a chair over the tiles brought their attention back to the brunet who was standing on it to open an upper pantry door next to the refrigerator.

He pushed aside a container of cornstarch and smiled even as he chided whoever or whatever Shii-chan was supposed to be.

"There you are. How did you get back there? No matter. We've got a custom order for caffe' latte recipe #186 using espresso brew #234."

Shii-chan turned out to be a single cup moka pot that was barely eight inches tall but could make a mean cup of espresso. An electric milk frother that Crazy-Tsuna had called Khan-kun and dug out from behind a waffle iron whipped up the milk into microfoam and minutes later, the finished cup of caffe' latte was set in front of Rinato complete with a quick, but no less charming design of a chibi bunny.

"Cute." Rinato snorted even as he reappraised his initial estimate of the adorable bunny clad brunet. Those weren't the movements of an amateur coffee aficionado. This was someone who had been honing his skill for years. What's more, Crazy-Tsuna had prepared it Italian style without question.

Reborn would rarely stand for such a thing like latte art in his cup, but Rin didn't mind at all as long as his drink was still hot if he wanted it hot and cold if he wanted it cold.

Now for the moment of truth.

A sip and-and…Wow this was good. Great even. He wasn't obsessed like Reborn, but he did enjoy a good brew and he had been expecting…what had he been expecting?

"I want one too! Make me one Crazy-Tsuna."

"No." Rein interjected without lifting his head off the table. "You've got too much energy as it is. You don't need caffeine."

Before Ren could work himself into a tantrum, Tsuna smoothly cut in with two cups of hot finely frothed milk for them.

Using chocolate syrup a fedora was sketched out with two curly sideburns on top. The same fedora that Ren's rubber duck hat was wearing. Except the little chocolate hat was being worn by a little chocolate Ren head. Rein, on the other hand, got a pigeon eyeing the heads of unsuspecting people below.

"Pfffffft." The boy buried his head in his arms as he tried to stop laughing. His exhaustion probably making it much funnier than it really was.

"Robot attack pigeon!" cheered Ren.

Rinato eyed his brothers with an odd expression. Then he remembered the pigeon blueprints Rein had been slaving over all night.

"Do you have enough energy for a quick breakfast?"

Rein looked up still snickering as he agreed, completely relaxed and trusting.

Following breakfast which was just as good as his coffee, Tsuna carried a still babbling Ren and gently guided a nearly catatonic Rein along to the living room. He looked back just once, still smiling that warm gentle smile. Then something changed.

Crazy-Tsuna was still warm. Crazy-Tsuna was still gentle. Crazy-Tsuna was still smiling. But Crazy-Tsuna was nowhere near as harmless as he appeared and he was letting Rin know it.

Oh. Oh. From the very beginning, it had been Rinato who was being pulled along Crazy-Tsuna's pace. The pace was so slow going and easy and smooth that he hadn't even noticed. The moment Crazy-Tsuna had answered the people knocking on his back door at an ungodly hour in the morning in his adorably childish pajamas, he had been in control and remained in control.

Apathetic Rein was showing off all sorts of positive emotions and wild child Ren was nearly tamed.

Crazy-Tsuna was only allowing Rin to see this other side to him for a reason. Either as a gesture of good will or for part of some overreaching plan that involved him, the bunny clad brunet barista was extending a hand of friendship to Rin without having to pretend to be something that he wasn't.

"Coming?"

Rin acknowledged the extra quirk of his neighbor's smile with a smirk of his own.

Crazy-Tsuna was something indeed. Rinato could feel the familiar dark feelings of excitement brewing from within. He couldn't wait to tear him apart.

Rinato woke up to the familiar weight of warm bodies lying against him.

Blinking his eyes open, Rin looked down to see Rein curled against him. Turning his head to the side revealed Ren just as fast asleep. That was normal. They sometimes ended up sleeping together in a puppy pile because everyone was either too tired or comfortable to move.

But why was his bed moving? Up and down. Up and down. With the steady rhythm of a beating heart as a backdrop. It was rather firm actually like a nicely muscled body that wasn't overly bulky. Oh. Reborn…but Reborn wasn't back yet...

Tilting his head back, Rinato stared up into the peacefully slumbering face of Sawada Tsunayoshi. That's who he and Ren were sleeping on. What had happened?

Rein had passed out almost as soon as he was seated. Crazy-Tsuna sat down with Ren in his lap to read him more of some English butterfly and moth book and Rin settled down with one of the gun books that had been set aside for Rein from yesterday with his little brother tucked into his side.

Then Ren wanted to Crazy-Tsuna to sit next to Rinato as well and so the pair had relocated to the longer couch. The warm milk, full belly, and Crazy-Tsuna's soothing voice had Ren falling asleep soon after.

Even with the caffeine from earlier, Rinato hadn't been able to keep himself from falling under the spell Crazy-Tsuna wove because really. Ren liked to wake up before anyone else, even Reborn, and he usually wanted company much to his brothers' disgruntlement. That the brunet could get him to fall back asleep so quickly was a miracle in its own right.

His internal clock told him that it was 10:42 am. A much more reasonable time to be awake rather than 4:32 in the morning.

Oh yeah. He was late for school. Rin mentally shrugged. Oh well. That testy skylark would just have to do without him for the day. This couch was so comfortable and wide, it could have been a bed just disguised as a couch. Maybe it was. The length alone showed that it was obviously custom made.

The view certainly wasn't too bad either. Crazy-Tsuna may be genuinely crazy, but he was also cute. Very cute. How old was he anyway?

He only looked mature enough to be just out of jail bait range, although with a face like that…shit. Shitshitshitshitshitshit.

He was sleeping with a complete stranger and it wasn't even the fun way.

The shift in breathing rhythm let Rin know that Crazy Tsuna was awake. And really good at pretending he wasn't. If Rinato hadn't been laying on him, he might have not been able to tell.

"I'm awake. You don't have to pretend."

"Of course." Tsuna pulled an arm out and yawned, looking as open and soft and more adorable than ever.

"Should have guessed. You're a rather playful one aren't you. " Tsuna smiled despite his obvious exasperation. "And much more dangerous than your brothers combined even if they do plan on building a flock of robot attack pigeons. It's a bit early to say for sure, but I'd give you a five-point-six."

"Your meter of chaos causers?"

"Mmm hmm. That's only because right now you're feeling pretty lax. Once that pernicious streak of yours feels like acting up, I'll have to bring you up to a six-point-nine. Depending on how bad of a mood you are, it might even reach a seven-point-five."

"…how long have you known? Did my brothers say anything?"

"Since the moment I saw you. If you're planning to tase me, then at least let me strip first. I like these clothes and I don't want to mess them up."

"…"

The movement a normal person would have passed off as a protective arm tightening around his brother was actually Rinato reaching for one of Rein's tasers.

"Don't bother Rin."

Rein's hand grabbed his wrist without ever opening his eyes.

"Crazy-Tsuna's intuition is crazy good. You probably have more dirt on him than he does on you right now and he'd probably be able to tell what you like to do in the bath."

Rin narrowed his eyes and Tsuna's intuition continued to spike with the teen's whirling thoughts.

"Managing fleets of bath toys with terrain made out of scented bubbles?" Tsuna guessed. "You seem more like a shower guy to me unless you're sharing with them. In that case, you'd play war games in the hopes of teaching them strategy, patience and how not to cave under psychological pressure. Ren seems to be the type to demand bubble baths but being so small, someone would have to stay with him. Rein would probably just join in because it'll take forever for the bathroom to be free if he had to wait for you to finish.

You're kind of cruel and very dangerous, but you clearly love your brothers. It makes sense that you'd want to teach them how to outmaneuver any of those people you've managed to tick off." Tsuna sighed and gently ruffled Rinato's hair with his free hand. "You sadist." The teen was stiff as a board.

"…"

"Told you." Rein muttered.

"I can play with you if you'd like, but I'm afraid I'm not very good at those sorts of games," the brunet continued almost apologetically. "I have some friends who are though. You'll meet them eventually and can judge whether they'd be better playmates."

Tsuna didn't really consider himself to be good at mind games, but at the same time he didn't consider himself to be bad either. Just average. His friends would beg to differ, but as they weren't there to oppose him...

"Don't be too hard on him Rin. He can make Ren go to sleep without resorting to drugs, bribes or blunt force trauma. Do you really want to lose someone like that?"

"…"

Someone who will willingly put up with Ren and let everyone else get a few extra hours of sleep. Not to mention the free food and coffee and…

Rinato looked at the sleeping toddler and then at the sleepy man who was somehow cradling them all despite his not so considerable size.

"How much do you charge for babysitting services?"

"So you write plays for a live theater huh?"

"Not often. I write some short stories and my friend Haru and her employees pick which ones they'd like to perform. Then some people start making scripts from it. I usually end up helping out with that too. I get a small percentage of the ticket sales, but what mostly happens is that I get free admission and can pretty much go anywhere or do anything I want inside. Free food and drinks from the concession stands, free use of the employee lounge room and amenities, free-"

"Free costume modeling." Rein cut in.

Tsuna sighed.

"Yeah. That too."

Rinato's ebony eyes twinkled with interest.

"Oh?"

"We got to pick whatever costume we wanted and Haru made him put it on and then the make-up team came and did work on him too." Ren piped in. "The pictures should be ready soon. Crazy-Tsuna makes a really good Persephone. He just needs a proper Hades to steal him away."

Well if that wasn't obvious, then Rin didn't know what was. Seriously? Attempting to match-make for Reborn of all people? Rein was watching with careful eyes and gave a slight nod when Tsuna wasn't looking. They were both in on it and wanted his consent did they?

Crazy-Tsuna may be babysitter material, but Rin wasn't so sure that he'd even be lover material no matter how cute he was. Reborn tended to go for those with more sex appeal and maturity not barely above jail bait…although…those expert coffee making skills were a definite plus. And if those cookies from yesterday were any indication of his culinary ability then that would definitely put him much much higher in Rin's book than Bianchi.

Tsuna interrupted his musings with a rather pertinent question.

"Have you called your schools yet? At least tell them that it's a family emergency or something. You could technically still show up for the afternoon classes, but it won't be worth it for Ren and Rein since they'll be let out earlier."

Oh yeah. School. All three of them were skipping weren't they?

"Do y-"

Whatever Rinato was about to say was cut off when Crazy-Tsuna suddenly snagged the front of his shirt and bodily heaved him over the table and into his lap. He would have probably inflicted some sort of retribution on the brunet if the palpable aura of bloodlust and fury filling the room wasn't originating from where he had just been sitting.

"Of all the schools you could have gone to." Tsuna sighed. "Of course it had to be Namimori High. Hello Kyoya. Have you eaten yet?"

The steely eyed teen glowered at his latest irritant still being protectively cradled in the man's arms, tonfas still extended from where he had attempted to strike the other boy down.

"He's a guest and I don't want you two to start a serious fight in here. If anything happens to Yoshi-kun again…"

Hibari tensed, eyes sliding over to the innocuous pink coffee maker who twinkled a greeting to him. With a growl, he tucked away his weapons, but continued to glare at Rinato. Then he took in the little versions of the carnivorous teen that had been causing chaos in his school. When Maggiore Rinato had failed to show up, Hibari checked his records for his personal information. He then ordered Kusakabe to take over for the day because he had a very bad feeling about exactly why the foreigner would suddenly miss school when he had had a perfect attendance record so far.

"Tsunayoshi! Tsunayoshi!" The familiar high pitched chirp of Hibird floated over as the yellow puffball settled on Tsuna's head.

"Hello to you too Hibird. Want something to eat?"

"Lunch! Lunch! Delicious~!" Hibird trilled enthusiastically. Then he turned to study Rein and Ren. "Baby carnivore! Baby carnivore! Bite to death. Bite to death~! "

"Yes they are baby carnivores and no one is biting anyone to death in my kitchen."

A steady growl continued to emanate from the fuming teen so Tsuna tilted his head, made his eyes as wide as they go and pleaded from the very bottom of his heart.

"Please Kyoya?"

When those tense shoulders lowered, Tsuna knew he had won. He really loved this bunny onesie. It was just so soft and comfortable and people always put up far less of a fuss when he was wearing it. Tsuna carefully did not think about the reasons that his intuition supplied him with for why it worked the way did.

With a final snarl, Hibari kicked a chair free and sat down in a massive sulk.

"I want hamburger steak and coffee. Brew #18 with cardamom and ginger."

"Yes. Yes. I'll be done in forty-five minutes and Yoshi-kun will make a nice hot cup for you."

"Seriously. What do you charge, because Kyo-chan here is completely whipped."

The growling started up again and Tsuna looked down to where Rinato was still pressed against his chest. He flicked the teen on the forehead taking the slightest satisfaction at the way the teen blinked in surprise.

"Stop provoking him so I can get lunch ready. If you want to play so badly, take it outside. Have you decided what you want Hibird?"

"Coconut milk!" chirped Hibird. Then he took a few more moments to think about what he wanted for lunch. "Fruit salad~. Yummy~. Yummy~."

"Have you been watching The Wiggles again?"

"Fruit salad~. Yummy~. Yummy~…"

Hibird proceeded to proudly sing the entire song to show Tsuna he had been diligently practicing his English alongside his master. Kyoya refused to meet Tsuna's embarrassingly understanding eyes.

Tsuna inwardly sighed.

Once he had been assured that Hibari wasn't interested in using his brothers as hostages or outlets for his frustration, Rinato had taken to hovering and flirting with Tsuna not unlike Mukuro just to get a rise from him.

Ren and Rein surprisingly got some form of mild approval from Hibari. Something about how baby carnivores needed to learn how to properly hunt first and that he wouldn't really try to bite them to death before they had done so. It was a massive improvement from his attitude to Lambo all those years ago. Then again, the Maggiore siblings weren't crybabies like Lambo either.

Tsuna had decided to change out of the bunny onesie despite the magical persuasive properties it carried because he didn't feel like trying to get potential stains out if Kyoya decided that his coffee would be an acceptable sacrifice in a food fight. Now he was just in a T-shirt and jeans with a purple hedgehog printed apron that Kyoya had got him for his birthday last year. He hoped it would be enough.

"You must have been one hell of a tutor. I thought the only thing Kyo-chan cared about was his precious school."

"I maintain order throughout Namimori. Anyone, herbivore or carnivore, who dares to disrupt it will be bitten to death. No exceptions."

"Oh? Then what's our sweet Tsuna-chan here? An herbivore or carnivore?" He curled an arm around Tsuna's waist smirking at the way Hibari looked ready to commit homicide, Tsuna's warning or not.

"If blood gets on my grout, I'll have the both of you personally replace my kitchen flooring." Tsuna cheerfully quipped while flipping the hamburgers on the stove. "I'll even pay for the materials myself, but the both of you will go through the entire process of tearing up the rest of the tiles, and replacing them by hand one by one."

Rein and Ren sat back and watched in interest as Crazy-Tsuna made the very first threat they had ever heard him utter. It seemed to be very effective with the way Hibari had gone completely still and Rinato was looking at the man in mild bafflement.

"Same for my walls, my furniture and anything else. Food stains are one thing, blood is another. The only thing I'll make you pay in is labor, but I will make you pay." His tone was mild and there was no sound of anger or threat in it at all.

"Pay! Pay! Tsunayoshi will make you pay~!" Hibird chirped, still comfortably settled on the nest of Tsuna's hair. He sounded so disturbingly delighted about it.

Rinato gave the yellow bird an odd glance, then looked down at the black and white square checkered tiles, each one exactly one foot long and one foot wide.

"That doesn't seem so bad. Tedious, but not really terrible."

"…"

Hibari was suspiciously quiet. Let it not be said that Rin couldn't read between the lines.

"I'll have some other friends design the new floor."

"Pineapple herbivores! Pineapple herbivores! Pretty picture!"

Kyoya's eye twitched. He knew exactly who Tsuna would call and having to following his plans under his taunting orders would be a great punishment indeed. Worst of all, Tsunayoshi could easily come up with something far far worse if he protested.

"That's right Hibird. It'll be something lovely. They're both very good when it comes to artistic matters." Tsuna continued. "It'll be a marvel to look at. Mukuro can create a wonderful picture, but Chrome is the one who enhances it with all the subtle touches."

A marvel. Right. And made of a couple million little tiles to show it. A couple million little tiles that would all have to be glued down by hand before being grouted. Just to be sure…

"And how are you going to be able to enforce this?"

Tsuna prodded one of the meat patties and then pressed his spatula down on it. The hamburger steak sizzled and hissed loudly and Crazy-Tsuna didn't have to say a word.

It looked amazing and smelled just as good. Rin tried not to drool. If Crazy-Tsuna's crazy coffee making skills extended to crazy cooking skills as well…

"Tasty. Delicious. Yummy~. Yummy~." If there was any question as to who was Hibird's master it would have been answered by the way the bird managed to smirk just like Hibari despite lacking the facial features needed to do so.

"Do you have any more Butterfly Broaches?"

"Shameless aren't you." Tsuna murmured in good humor as he disentangled himself from the teen to slide the finished steaks onto plates.

"Shameless~. Shameless~." Then, just for the hell of it, Hibird repeated it in English. "Shameless~! Shameless~!" At the table, Rein and Ren were snickering.

"After lunch. If you eat too many cookies now, you'll spoil your appetite."

"You're like a perfect housewife aren't you. Are you sure you aren't actually a woman?"

Tsuna snorted.

"I think ninety-five percent of Namimori can personally testify otherwise."

Kyoya was still sulking and glaring invisible lasers of mistrust, annoyance, and anger at Rinato, but he was still seated, so Tsuna counted that as a win as he placed the dishes on the table.

"Hoh? I'm sensing an interesting story here."

"Not really."

Tsuna made sure not to look at the teenager as he nonchalantly dropped the next tidbit.

"I just go streaking every now and then."

Ah. The silence that could only come from those around him being struck speechless. Even Rein and Ren were staring at him in surprise.

Rin sunk into an empty chair and turned his gaze to Kyoya.

"That isn't disruptive to your precious order?"

Hibari hummed as he took a bite of his hamburger steak, his mood finally taking a turn for the better.

"It is far more disruptive to attempt to stop him. Better to let nature run its course."

"Streaker Tsuna! Streaker Tsuna!"

By now the Maggiores were getting used to the high-pitched flying puffball. If nothing else, he was highly entertaining.

Rin turned back to Tsuna and said with a completely earnest face.

"You must have a fabulous ass...among other things."

It was such a Mukuro-like sentence that Kyoya instinctively attempted to stab out Rin's eyes with his fork. Tsuna didn't stop him, but he did move their plates out of the way when Rinato began to retaliate.

He gave them exactly three minutes and took the opportunity to wipe a smudge of sauce off Ren's cheek with a napkin, ladle more vegetable stir fry onto Rein's plate and refill Hibird's dish with coconut milk.

Then he sipped at his own coconut milk, set his glass down with a *thunk* and patiently smiled at the fork fencing duo. Hibari sat back down and Tsuna handed his plate back, then Rinato's when he did the same. Rin was starting to feel wary of that smile. It was even more dangerous than Reborn's because he wasn't feeling threatened at all even though there was a clear and obvious one right in front of him.

"I'm starting to think that the real carnivore here isn't actually Kyo-chan."

"According to Kyoya, I'm too herbivorous to be a carnivore, but too carnivorous to be an herbivore."

"Then doesn't that make Crazy-Tsuna an omnivore?" asked Ren.

"A small animal." Hibari corrected. "Tsunayoshi-sensei is a small animal."

Tsuna shrugged at their questioning looks.

"Apparently, I exist outside of the realm of standard classification, so I'm just an animal."

"A small animal." Hibari insisted.

"Small animal! Small animal!" Hibird repeated hopping up and down in agreement.

"A small animal." Tsuna amended.

Cute. Small. And deceivingly weak with power that defied explanation. Yeah. Rin could see why Hibari would call his former English tutor that. Kyo-chan still even referred to him as Tsunayoshi-sensei too. Why? He didn't understand the Japanese culture all that well, but he was pretty sure that you didn't call ordinary tutors that. Was it because Crazy-Tsuna was also a writer?

Whatever the reason, it was a title of deep respect and familiarity and maybe even love. Even if Hibari called the teachers at school 'sensei' as well, none of them got even a tenth of the admiration and affection that Crazy-Tsuna did. There was some serious history between them that he wasn't privy too at the moment.

Rin really wanted to pit himself against Crazy-Tsuna now, but the free food and the free drinks and the free babysitting service...

Reborn was busy. So busy that he had been spending the last two weeks in a hotel across town trying to untangle the mess of a company that his old friend had hired him for. He didn't have time for them at right now and Rein and Ren, especially Ren, needed someone to be with them. Rinato couldn't watch them at every moment. Crazy-Tsuna was too valuable to destroy even just for fun. And he had a sneaking suspicion that he would fail at it too. Badly.

No. What Rin wanted…what he really wanted was to see Crazy-Tsuna take on Reborn.

Rein's eyes crinkled just the slightest and Ren hid a grin under the action of drinking from his cup. Alright. He was on board with their plan, whatever it was.

Hibari stabbed a piece of stir fried broccoli and placed it in his mouth.

He hadn't missed any of that exchange. It was about to get noisy and there would be so much crowding and disturbances that he would have to endure. How troublesome.

Carnivores the entire Maggiore family may be, but they were still severely underestimating just how far out of their depth they were compared to Sawada Tsunayoshi.

He took in his former teacher's relaxed form and watched as the brunet continued to chat amicably with his new neighbors, taking their teasing will patience and good humor. As if he was one of them.

Even now, Tsunayoshi-sensei's incredible intuition was probably sorting and dissecting their unspoken plots without ever alerting the guilty party to the fact that he was on to their plans.

Truly a small animal. There was a reason Kyoya, independent as he was, actually wouldn't mind working for Sawada Tsunayoshi.

Decided to split this chapter because it was getting long. The next one will involve the rest of Rinato's first day with Tsuna and the Maggiore siblings meetings with some other over protective guardians.

OC Profiles:

Yoshi-kun – A pink and silver automatic drip coffee maker gifted to Tsuna by a friend he made in Shibuya, a boy named Yoshiya Kiryu who prefers to go by nickname Joshua. While rather friendly and easy to use, Yoshi-kun seems to only make excellent coffee for Tsuna. He has the most sentience out of all of Tsuna's appliances. It doesn't surprise Tsuna as much as it should considering how mysterious Joshua tends to be.

Shii-chan - A moka pot only big enough to prepare a single cup of espresso. For some odd reason, whenever Tsuna has on bunny ears, Shii-chan seems to disappear from her usual spot only to be found in a dark enclosed environment, not unlike a rabbit in its burrow.

Khan-kun - An electric milk frother. When there isn't demand for Tsuna to use the big espresso machines that come with their own steam wands, Khan-kun is used to froth milk. If Khan-kun isn't used for a while, he'll slowly make his way behind larger countertop appliances to hide from view.

If you haven't heard the Fruit Salad song by The Wiggles, youtube it right now. Then imagine a younger Hibari and Hibird singing along in heavily accented English.