AN: Thank you for the feedback it means a lot! :)

Petal Steps

Part 5: Of Fleeting Touches

"Phichit, I want to become the soil. Please bury me in a grave of lotus blossoms and set my corpse on fire before piling dirt on me."

"If I did that, then who would send cute love letters to your idol via youtube?"

Yuuri groans, burying himself in more blankets and pale pink amaryllises. If his future corpse doesn't have flowers blooming out of him, he'll be surprised.

"Why did I do that? Why did you let me do that, Phichit?"

"I believe in respecting one's agency." His friend nods wisely while Vicchan barks at him. At least Yuuri still has one person on his side. "Besides, didn't you want to do that tribute for him?"

"Yes! No! I don't… I don't know…" Yuuri flicks away the pink petals forming in his hair. Amaryllis for shy in the Japanese language of flowers, something Phichit loves to poke fun at Yuuri for after he realized that Yuuri's flowers seem to have secret meanings. Well, not that secret. Not from Phichit's wikipedia powers. "I just felt so… so honoured. Touched. I just… wanted to do something for him."

"Which is totally fine! He loved it, didn't you see his comment?"

"He called him his inspiration. I've never… Well I can't be that for him! I'm just… just Yuuri!"

He's never inspired anyone before. He feels so much that flowers just explode from his footsteps, he's a mess that has to carry around a dustpan to get rid of the floral messes he makes everywhere he goes. He barely made it into Junior Figure Skating in Japan. He's sucking up money from his parents' finances to feed his pointless pipe dream, he's—

The bed sinks down as Phichit sits next to him. Quietly, Phichit leans far enough so that their shoulders aren't touching but close enough so Yuuri can feel Phichit's warmth. "...Do you want a hug?"

Too overwhelmed to say anything, Yuuri only nods.

Phichit's arms are as comforting as his mother's bowls of katsudon, as Mari-neesan's shoulder hugs, as his father's lullabies. They're a solid contrast against Yuuri's frantic heartbeat, a heartbeat that sings something unfamiliar and bright within him.

Ah, Yuuri thinks as his heart pounds all around him, in his ears, in his head, and hi, I'm this frazzled because I'm happy. Being noticed by Viktor Nikiforov, having friends like Yuuko and Phichit… I'm so so happy.

It's an impossible thought, as freeing as the ice.

He tries not to grin too much as he hugs Phichit back but with bluebells falling all over the bed, a shower of grateful blue, he's sure Phichit knows.

Being Tuxedo Lutz is like a transformation to the Yuuri Katsuki he's alway wanted to be. As Tuxedo Lutz, he's beautiful and handsome, he's confident, he can be sexy if he wants. He can wink and flirt or be as expressive as an impressionist painting. The flowers aren't blotches that could sink his career, but something that lifts up his performance and somehow gets him Viktor Nikiforov's attention.

"I think it would be cheating," Yuuri mutters one day, as he helps Phichit sew the newest costume (the new Tuxedo Lutz instagram keeps lighting up with likes and comments.)

"Adding more sparkles?" Phichit blinks, surrounded by different bottles of glitter.

"No, I meant, skating while using my Gift. The flowers, they'd just… add a boost to my performance score. There's no way to be objective about them."

Phichit's eyes widen. "No, I mean…! Well…!" Phichit's nose scrunches up. "You can always… wait...! Urgh," Phichit buries his face in his hands. "Sometimes I hate this subjective sport. Fine, then we need to start a skating revolution, maybe figure out a way to bend the rules so they have to let you skate with flowers or…!"

"It's okay, Phichit," Yuuri insists, and for once, he feels that it really is. "I'm happy with the way things are now. When I'm Tuxedo Lutz… I can be someone else… and when I'm a professional skater, I can challenge myself to keep control."

Phichit's scowl is hard to take seriously when there's glitter stuck to his hair and nose. "You shouldn't have to!"

Yuuri shrugs. "I just have to be better that's all."

Phichit glowers at the television. "You already are."

No. Not really. But Yuuri appreciates the thought.

Apparently Viktor Nikiforov thinks the same as Phichit because he keeps messaging Yuuri on the Tuxedo Lutz instagram. Saying 'hi' (bonjour my favourite person!), asking about Yuuri's outfits (you should do a flower spirit design!), insisting that Tuxedo Lutz try out for the professional skating business if he hasn't already (you'd steal the gold medal from me for sure, but not without some fierce competition from the fabulous moi!) When Yuuri feels brave enough, he messages first with timid thanks or wishes Viktor luck in future competitions.

Honestly, the first time Viktor messaged Yuuri (surprise hugs from your favourite skater in the world, my Tuxedo Lutz, my Sailor Flowers D), he almost fell down the stairs and Phichit decided to ban Yuuri from using social media while walking. Phichit seems to like switching back and forth between teasing Yuuri for all his love letters ("You're like star-crossed lovers!") to being wary ("If that stupid pretty boy causes more indirect damage to you, I'm gonna slap him. I will. I will sic Vicchan and Arthur on him!" "Phichit, no!")

It's so strange and frightening to have someone as amazing as Viktor Nikiforov consistently messaging him with compliments (every time you move, my heart just aches in awe and wonder and I want to do another flip in your honour, Sailor Flowers~) and asking for advice about skating (do you think hiring people to throw feathers into the rink while I skate is too extra?). Yuuri's always too shy and flabbergasted to reply with more than a thank you or please stop giving your coach heart attacks, but he adores each text, even if Viktor acts like a total dork in them. When Viktor first started reblogging fanart of them (apparently, in redrawn Sailor Moon panels), Yuuri had to call Phichit into the room to ask if he was hallucinating (he wasn't.)

It makes Viktor transcend from unreachable idol to someone strangely human. It shouldn't make Yuuri's heart beat any faster, but it does (the amount of flowers that Yuuri accidentally creates in their apartment increases threefold.)

He and Viktor don't really talk about deeper topics, but it's something. If there's anything Yuuri is grateful for, from all this Youtube stardom, it's having the chance to talk to Viktor, knowing Viktor thinks he is worth something even if Yuuri doesn't always believe that.

Viktor's words make Yuuri's 'professional' skating more refined, controlled. He even somehow scrapes his way up into the 2016 Grand Prix Final and he has to resist the urge to tell Viktor, to thank him, to say your words got me this far to meet you, because Viktor doesn't know him. Not really. Not Yuuri Katsuki.

The day before his flight to Sochi though, Yuuri gets a message saying can we talk? and he nearly crushes Vicchan by accident from the shock. Vicchan growls and nips at Yuuri's fingers (he'll have a paper cut later) but Yuuri can't even concentrate on the pain as he tries to decipher what this means! Is Viktor going to tell Yuuri that everything was a mistake, Tuxedo Lutz is clearly a fraud and to go away forever? Does Viktor know that Yuuri Katsuki, a nobody skater, is Tuxedo Lutz? Is he disappointed?

Yuuri closes his eyes and counts to ten in his head before he replies yes.

v-nikiforov: excellent! This is nice! I can't believe we're online at the same time :D

A hot blush attacks Yuuri. He's not sure what to say, so he decides to be blunt.

tuxedolutz: i'm surprised too. But what did you want to talk about?

v-nikiforov: well, you know my program Stay Close to Me?

tuxedolutz: oh yes, i do! It's my favourite program yet! Very nice music!

v-nikiforov: i'm so glad! It is inspired by you after all

tuxedolutz: lSDJFosjg? EKJ?

v-nikiforov: so i was wondering, if i could announce the name of my muse during my next interview…

tuxedolutz: please do whatever you like! you don't need to ask permission!

In fact, Yuuri wonders why Viktor is bothering to ask. Yuuri always dedicates his Tuxedo Lutz videos to the most recent comments of Viktor's without asking…

v-nikiforov: that's great! What a relief, i was nervous you would say 'no'!

tuxedolutz: i would never do that!

Yuuri doesn't think he can ever say no to Viktor, even if his idol is a total dork and sometimes very extra. He wonders if there's more to this request...

tuxedolutz: why would you think that?

Gah, what is Yuuri doing?! He's being presumptuous, forcing Viktor to interact with him for longer when he might be annoying his idol with another message.

v-nikiforov: you should seem like the shy type. you DO wear a mask after all!

Oh. Okay. That makes sense.

tuxedolutz: sorry… it's just for personal reasons...

v-nikiforov: No, no! I don't mean to make you uncomfortable! The mask is very cool~!

tuxedolutz: you and my costume designer are the only ones who think that

v-nikiforov: liesss! I know there are thousands of fans whose hearts go doki doki like mine because of your ultra coolness!

Yuuri bursts out laughing.

tuxedolutz: you're so strange sometimes!

No answer. Oh no. Yuuri just offended him!

tuxedolutz: please don't take it as an insult! What i mean is, you're so… passionate. And extra sometimes. About things you like, and I just really like that about you. I think this side of you is cool too.

Yuuri nervously waits for the reply. Hopes that Viktor won't log out on him.

v-nikiforov: thank you

And then—

v-nikiforov: no one's ever said that to me before

v-nikiforov: so thank you

Warmth rushes all over Yuuri as he happily rereads the message. Part of his heart aches though because honestly, who wouldn't like the silly and dorky Viktor? He suddenly has an urge to shower his idol in affectionate words, to chase away the insecurity he suspects might be there (is it too presumptuous of him to think that Viktor Nikiforov might be lonely too?)

tuxedolutz: it's true though. I really like that part of you.

Then Yuuri shuts off the phone and shoves it away from him, curling up in his bed, trying to chase away his dancing heart. Vicchan dances happily on his arm, pushing bits of raining peonies for bravery into Yuuri's nose.

I shouldn't have done that, Yuuri thinks. But I hope it helps. I hope I wasn't assuming things.

His dreams are haunted by the soft chorus of a lonely Stay Close to Me.

Yuuri feels like throwing up as soon as he walks the hallways of the skating rink. What the heck is he thinking, what the heck were the judges thinking, he doesn't belong here. He wishes he had Phichit by his side ("I'm just one facetime away, darling!") or even the comfort of the sparkly Tuxedo Lutz outfit but all he has is Vicchan snuggled in his hair and his sweaty palms. Celestino left to find the bathroom and now Yuuri tries to mentally fight off the inevitable panic attack before something drastic happens, like another fainting episode or mutant flowers appearing from his stress or—

He stumbles into someone just as tears blur his vision and when he looks up, he sees Viktor Nikiforov.

For several moments he forgets how to breathe, to speak. "Y-you…! You're…!"

Viktor's smile is dazzling, the way it always is during interviews, and Yuuri finds himself wondering what a real smile from Viktor might look like. Then he berates himself for thinking that a simple stranger like himself could ever earn that smile. Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov have no prior history together.

"Commemorative photo?"

There, see? Yuuri swallows away his illogical hurt, he doesn't know you. What did you expect?

But still, it's Viktor! He's actually talking to Viktor! Taking a photo with him! As Yuuri Katsuki, instead of Tuxedo Lutz, what more could he hope for?

Yuuri agrees to the photo, summoning all the happiness he can't feel. But Viktor is so close that they could be touching, and Yuuri can't quite get rid of the awful blush when they take their selfie. Viktor is just so beautiful…

Yuuri must be a stain by his side.

No, no stop, you're not supposed to feel like this. Be Tuxedo Lutz. Be confident!

But he can't! He just, he wants to tell Viktor who he is but he wants to run far away and jump into the sea. He wants to ask Viktor if he ever feels lonely at times, if that's what his new program really means. He wants to get closer and closer to Viktor, the way no one ever has before.

He hates this so much, this overwhelming collision of feelings always wrecking his senses. He hates that he feels so much, that he can't process how to act. He hates being so weak.

And so when Viktor hands back his phone, all Yuuri can say is thank you and good luck before rushing off to the nearest bathroom.

He counts to ten, forwards and backwards. He closes his eyes and tries to focus on five things he hears, five things he can feel, until he feels a little more like himself again (whoever that is.) Then he tries to talk himself out of buying the next ticket to Detroit.

That's when Vicchan crawls out of his hair and bites at his fingers.

"Ow! Vicchan!"

His little paper poodle only stares at him with deadpan ink eyes before barking and pointing his little paws at his phone. Vicchan barks again, the way he does every time Yuuri gets like this. Too anxious. Too sad. Too everything.

"Do you…" Yuuri takes another breath, "do you think I s-should call Phichit…? Or Yuuko…?"

Vicchan nods. Yes to both then.

With shaking fingers, Yuuri unlocks his phone, only to see the selfie from earlier.

Photo-Yuuri doesn't look that bad, but Photo-Viktor looks ridiculous in comparison. Photo-Viktor has posed in a trademark Sailor Moon 'we will punish you' stance with the exact finger guns that look so endearing and strange that Yuuri can't hold back a snort of affection. Has Viktor always been this silly in fan photos?

Maybe… Yuuri's heart beats faster, there's a chance that Yuuri Katsuki could get along with Viktor Nikiforov too.

He just has to skate his best.

He cannot skate his best, this is a nightmare. His legs are shaking. He had to stop Vicchan from being accidentally drowned in the remains of spilt coffee by hiding the paper dog in his bag. Celestino has tried to get Yuuri's attention at least ten times now. And oh no, he's about to go onto the ice next, noooooo….!

"Breathe Yuuri, breathe," Celestino grips his shoulders with soothing tones.

He tries to. He really does.

"Just think about the music," Celestino tries again. Right. The music that Phichit ended picking for him from some mobile game called Deemo. "The music is all that exists."

Yuuri closes his eyes and lets Celestino take his glasses. "Okay," he nods, skating to the blurry ice. The audience becomes a smudged surround-sound painting of slippery watercolours. But even with the sound of their clapping, their voices, all Yuuri can hear is his pounding pulse screaming for petals to be let out of his steps.

Yuuri doesn't let them come. Self-control, like Mari-neesan and Yuuko taught him.

He thinks, instead of Viktor Nikiforov's instagram message, of making his idol's heart go 'doki-doki.' He thinks of standing next to Viktor as himself (whoever that is) and being able to meet Viktor on the same footing.

Look at me, he doesn't dare whisper, Let me make your heart beat faster too.

Then the music plays.

And Yuuri…. Skates.

The piece is called Encumbrance by Rabpit. 'Encumbrance' meaning something that encumbers, something that is a burden or useless. Yuuri remembers balking at the title when he looked it up on the internet but then Phichit had him listen to the song and Yuuri felt the story come to life from the first mellow (yet uplifting) notes.

He knows that in the context of the video game Deemo, that Encumbrance means something very different. But Yuuri's 'encumbrance', Yuuri's story in the music, speaks of a lone dancer that has decided to start spontaneously spinning in the rain because he's depressed, and he just… wants to stop being depressed, stop feeling anything. And in moving, in dancing and letting go, he becomes lighter. Freer. Maybe not happier, not quite yet.

But in that moment of careless and reckless play, there's hope.

When Yuuri opens his eyes, blinded by the light reflected from the ice, by the smudges of audience members, he realizes that he's crying.

Later, when Celestino cheers about Yuuri being ranked second (for now) in the Short Program scores, Yuuri reviews his performance in his head. He can't remember how he did, how his step sequences looked or even his jumps. He's sure he must have messed something up, somewhere, (he always does) because he doesn't seem any petals around but apparently he didn't? Apparently his program was near perfect for someone of his level and Yuuri still can't quite believe it.

He's so lost in shock that he barely pays attention to the remaining short programs (unfortunately he missed Viktor's) and he doesn't see the blue rose petals near the Kiss and Cry as he leaves it. But a certain junior narrows his eyes, kicking those very same petals away into a corner.

His family and Phichit cheer for him in both facetime calls and Yuuri feels the urge to puke. He's in third now, after Viktor and Chris, and he has no idea how he got there. It's a fluke, it has to be, he's going to screw up during the Free Skate tomorrow and make his whole country so disappointed in him that he'll be exiled from Japan and—

A message pops up on his phone. Instagram. Yuuri nearly chucks the phone across the bed, but at Vicchan's judging look, Yuuri opens it.

v-nikiforov: i hope you were watching me again, my Sailor Flowers!

And then, before Yuuri can answer—

v-nikiforov: i skated for you!

Yuuri can't help the overwhelming blush or the strange noise that comes from him. Or the ridiculous grin that spreads across his face. Even as acquaintances, mere strangers oceans apart, Viktor somehow encourages him (even if he doesn't know it.)

tuxedolutz: i didn't get to catch your program this time

v-nikiforov: D:

tuxedolutz: but i promise i will be watching your free skate. it's my favourite, after all

So please, watch me too.

Yuuri shuts the phone off and lays back on his bed. This isn't the time to lose sleep, not yet. He can freak out after tomorrow. This might be his only chance to be on the same ice as Viktor, as Yuuri Katsuki. Who knows if Yuuri will make it to the Grand Prix next year with his subpar skating. But if this is his only chance, than Yuuri will take it and perform the best Free Skate of his career, the best one he can do as his current self, even if petals fall from his feet.

He can't do anything less in front of Viktor, in front of this man who unknowingly pushed Yuuri this far even if he doesn't know it.

Yuuri feels oddly calm at the rink this morning, as if he's walking underwater. Every moment feels slowed down, longer, Yuuri can barely hear Celestino whispering advice in his ear. He only has eyes for Viktor Nikiforov.

His idol has a lost look on his face, staring deeply at his phone for some reason, when he looks up and catches Yuuri's eyes in surprise.

Yesterday, Yuuri might have darted away, might have tripped, or pretended he was doing stretches. But Yuuri feels a bit more like Tuxedo Lutz today, he feels like the dancer from Encumbrance, ready to jump in the rain and let everything out. He beams at Viktor and nods his head.

Looking oddly flushed (Yuuri hopes Viktor isn't ill), Viktor nods slowly back.

The announcers call Yuuri's name.

He's ready.

Wataru Hikaru's You Only Live Once echoes in the rink, filling the air and Yuuri's lungs. He loves this mix, the Everlasting one, there's something enchanting about it. Yuuri could never really encompass the full spectrum of this song during practise, it was more of Phichit's thing. But today, Yuuri can understand the reckless exhilaration of the notes, so uplifting. Today, Yuuri knows who to picture when Wataru Hikaru sings, 'you're so beautiful tonight.'

He thinks of Yuuko hugging him when they first met, her delighted face as she met Vicchan. He thinks of Mari-neesan spinning Yuuri around in her arms, of his Mom's cooking lessons, of his dad trying to rope him into karaoke. He thinks of Phichit being so constant, transforming him into a fairytale figure like a friendly godmother.

And he thinks of Viktor, imagines what a genuine smile from him might be like.

His performance feels a bit melancholy, nostalgic, (lovesick, some bloggers on fan forums), and yet it's filled with undeniable joy and love.

Yuuri's jumps aren't very strong and he has to rein himself in sometimes to keep flowers from spreading… but he's laughing and wheezing by the end of it.

He's never enjoyed a competitive skate like this before.

Yuuri comes in Third. Chris takes the Silver, while Viktor takes the Gold he deserved. His version of Stay Close to Me was so gorgeous that Yuuri had to run to the bathroom so no one would see him sobbing over it. Somehow, Stay Close to Me felt more longing than ever, more like a call for someone to meet Viktor on the ice. Yuuri expected Viktor to look happier about his gold medal, but somehow that smile of Viktor's feels as distant as ever.

The photos take a while but afterwards, Yuuri lingers and wonders if he should try talking to Viktor. But what would he say? Hi, I'm Tuxedo Lutz, and when we message each other, I get the feeling that you're lonely, want to talk about it? Urgh, how presumptuous of him. He can't do that. He's lucky he even made it this far, he should go…

But before he can, he's shoved into a nearby closet.

"Wha…?" Yuuri flails, trying to fight off the attacker.

"Oi, stop moving, idiot! I just want to talk!" comes the angry shout.

"Y-Yuri P-Plisetsky?!" Sure enough, the rising star of Men's Junior Skating glares up at him with an unreadable gaze. "What?! I mean, uh," he tries not to blurt out can I have your autograph.

"What?!" from the growing red on Yuri Plisetsky's cheeks, apparently Yuuri blurted it out anyways. "Never mind that, are you stupid?! You're going to expose yourself!"

"Huh?!"

Plisetsky points his fingers aggressively at the shower of yellow primrose and white gardenias on the floor. A big clump of them that Plisetsky likely kicked into the closet too. Primrose for desperate and gardenia for secret love.

"You saw that?!" Yuuri squeaks.

"I'm surprised no one else did. You gotta be more careful, Katsuki, or the judges might find out!"

Yuuri starts to hyperventilate. Did he screw up during the Free Skate too? Are there some petals on the ice that no one noticed? What if someone notices them? Is Plisetsky going to tell anyone?!

"Calm the hell down!" Plisetsky hisses, looking unsure of what to do when Yuuri starts hyperventilating faster. "Aw, shit. Just… sit down with me, breathe, Katsuki. Breathe."

It takes a while, what seems like forever, before Yuuri feels like he can breathe again.

"...I won't tell anyone."

Yuuri looks up at Plisetsky in surprise.

Plisetsky's cheeks are slightly pink as he looks at the ground. "It'd be a waste of your talent for you to get kicked out now. I gotta beat you first before that happens! So watch out for me, Katsuki, I'll show them what I'm made of. You better do the same, I know you can skate better than that, Tuxedo Lutz. You better be at top form at Worlds!"

At first, Yuuri doesn't know what to say. He'd been having expecting Plisetsky to accuse him of cheating or beat him up (he probably could, despite height differences.)

"...Why are you helping me?"

Plisetsky frowns. "Because I'm gifted too. I still want to skate."

Oh. Oh. Yuuri starts to smile, and Yuri Plisetsky splutters.

"D-don't get m-me wrong! I'll still kick your ass at Worlds, Katsuki, so get your skating up to your TL standards by then!"

"I will. Good luck to you too."

"I don't need your luck, damn it!"

But Yuri still helps him up from the floor.

If only Yuri could pull Yuuri out of the banquet too. So far, Celestino has introduced Yuuri to a variety of eager potential sponsors and all Yuuri's done is smile and nod. His coach gave him a glass of champagne so he can 'wind down' but Yuuri's been too frightened to drink it (he knows very well that he starts stripping and dancing and shouting about how awesome life is when he gets drunk. Phichit loves it.)

He spots Yuri brooding by the food and Chris chatting with his boyfriend. Yuuri starts to wonder where Viktor Nikiforov could be when—

His body collides with someone else and the untouched champagne spills over this person's expensive looking jacket. Slowly Yuuri looks up in horror to see Viktor Nikiforov blinking down at him.

Inside, Yuuri starts screaming.

"I am so, so sorry, I'm so clumsy! Where are the napkins?! Here, use my tie," Yuuri yanks it off and starts dabbing his only tie against the stain, only for Viktor to flinch away. Oh no, Yuuri messed up. He messed up big time. He's creating a scene which Viktor probably doesn't want. "Here, let's go to the bathroom and get you cleaned up. I can pay for the dry cleaning bill, does this jacket need to be dry cleaned?! Does champagne stain?!"

"It's fine, it's fine," Viktor tries to wave him away. But Yuuri keeps his grip firm.

"No, it's not! Your jacket is ruined! Please let me take care of you!"

By now, most of the guests are watching them both, and Yuuri can't meet Viktor's stunned gaze or Yuri's angry one from across the room. He's doomed. Doomed. But that doesn't stop him from pulling Viktor out of the banquet room, even if his shoulders shake, and rushing them to the bathroom.

"Really," Viktor stops them before they enter, "this is nothing. I can get my suit cleaned tomorrow, no charge necessary."

"But…!"

"Besides," Viktor winks, making Yuuri blush deeper, "I'm grateful for the excuse to get away from that stuffy party. It's the same thing every year."

"O-oh…" Well, Viktor did look bored in there… Yuuri just didn't want to assume. "Still, I'm sorry. I really can pay for the dry cleaning bill if you need it. Um… do you still want to go back to the party?"

Viktor's smile somehow becomes more distant and Yuuri finds himself wanting to chase it back.

"O-or we could e-explore the city!" When Viktor glances at him in surprise, Yuuri stutters, "I've n-never been to S-Sochi before, and I c-could use some company who knows the language?"

What is he doing. What is he doing. Did Yuuri accidentally drink alcohol without meaning to, What. Is. He Doing.

And yet, when Viktor's eyes brighten, he can't bring himself to regret his choice.

Yuuri expected things to be awkward, but Viktor met his tentative invitation halfway and filled the silence with anecdotes about the must see landmarks in Russia. He talks about Moscow more often, but admits there are places he's wanted to see in Sochi but never had the chance to. Yuuri loves listening to him talk, loves seeing the excited gleam he gets in his eyes when he points at a nearby club. "They make the best drinks!" he insists, pulling Yuuri inside.

Inside, Yuuri sees people dancing and grinding. The music itself sounds very techno. He thinks he recognizes a Daft Punk song mixed into the DJ's mix and wonders how someone might incorporate that into a good routine.

"Drinks on me!" Viktor insists and Yuuri can't say no to that face.

They down a few shots of vodka and Yuuri finds himself giggling more, smiling more, telling Viktor, "You're so amazing!" every few minutes just in case the man forgets. He also apologizes a bit more for the suit, in case he forgets.

Viktor starts to laugh uncontrollably after the fifteenth you're amazing and Yuuri thinks good, because you are and he's not sure why Viktor goes so red. Is he sick? Oh no, maybe they should go home…

"No!" Viktor insists. "I, uh, I'm having a good time."

"Great!" Yuuri brightens, just as a familiar kpop song starts playing. "Oh! I know this one! We have to dance!"

"What?" Viktor blinks, "You mean, together?"

"Yes! Of course! Let's dance!" Because dancing is how Yuuri talks, dancing is how Yuuri embraces the world and feels it embrace him back in the music. He wants Viktor to feel that too because Viktor is starting to look distant again, longing, and if he dances, he'll feel less alone. He'll feel free, and Yuuri just wants Viktor to be free to create the best music possible with his body, to show the world his beauty.

Viktor gapes at him, and Yuuri just beams, and pulls him into a waltz combined with salsa.

They don't stop dancing for hours.

"Why don't you skate like this too?" Viktor says breathlessly, lights highlighting his hair and face like a halo. "Today you were beautiful on the ice but I had no idea you could be even more… even more…"

"More what?" Yuuri leans in, watching Viktor's eyes dilate. He can see all the little crystals of blue in those irises. He wants to see them all the time.

"More… breathtaking."

Yuuri wants to float up into the clouds, he's so happy. He wants to stay like this forever.

Viktor stops. His face pales, as he steps away from Yuuri.

Something cold settles in Yuuri's chest. He made Viktor sad, he didn't mean to. Viktor should never be sad…!

"...Are those flowers under your feet?"

Yuuri wants to throw up.

Sure enough, when he looks down, he sees the floor covered with white poppy petals (white poppies for rejoicing) and he steps back, more petals falling from his footsteps.

"I…" Yuuri can't think, can't hear anything, "I can explain…" Oh no, Viktor's looking at him and he can't read his expression, "I just…"

Yuuri runs away.