01/05/2017
Wow, where to start. I want to first apologise to all of my readers for being AWOL for nearlly a year now (I was shocked to discover this morning, when I logged into my account for the first time since posting the most 'current' chapter of my OUAT fic Another Story, that it would be a year next week since I've posted anything at all). I love you all so much, I think you're all amazing for sticking with me for so long and encouraging me to keep going. If it wasn't for all of you, then I don't think I would have had the courage to come back at all.

I really want to explain why I'm stopping all of my previous work; its not even that I don't want to continue with Another Story or the Light in the Darkness because I do, its just that - after everything which has happened in the past year - I don't think my heart is in it. My Doctor Who fic has lacked updates for a lot longer than even Another Story has, and the only thing I can say is that I lost inspiration and by the time I thought I had it where I wanted it to be, everything happened at once and I never got back to it. There are three main reasons why I stopped writing last year (at all, not just on fanfiction) and some may say that my reasons aren't good enough, or that I'm making excuses. Everyone deserves their own opinion and I'm not going to shoot them down for it, I just feel that I owe my loyal readers an explanation however weak or pathetic some people may find it.

The first reason why I stopped writing was only ever supposed to be a temporary thing while I got myself on track - I finished my apprenticeship and got a full time job, which meant that I stopped working 8-4/9-5 shifts with the weekends off and started working lates, nights etc. It became harder to continue with everything I love doing, most specifically writing. Like I said before, this is something which I knew was going to happen once I got offered the full time position and I planned on getting into a new routine so that I could write and keep posting to all of you lovely lot. Unfortunately, my Grandad's health was going downhill in the months after that and my priorities shifted, which brings me to the second reason. In the few months before Christmas, the entire family rallied around (which is very unusual for us since its practically the cold war between my mother and her sisters) to care for him and to try and improve his health - this took up the majority of my free time and, sadly, didn't make much difference. My Grandad passed away on the 23rd of December last year. Since then, I have not been in a good place at all. I don't know if I have mentioned before that writing was originally a therapy to me - I started when I was thirteen and severely depressed, to the point where I wanted to end my own life. Writing took me out of reality and into whatever world I wanted to be in and, gradually, life improved and I didn't rely on writing as much, though I continue to love it. For the last few months, I have started to feel like I was sinking back into what I was like before, without the extremes of wanting to die. Now, I'm fully aware that there are going to be some people who are cynical about my reasons and I can't blame them, nobody will fully understand and I've accepted that. Like I said, I don't want to give excuses or to try and make everyone feel sorry for me about abandoning two stories which I loved - I just wanted to give an explanation for those who have been patiently waiting for updates, and those who I'm unfortunately disappointing.

Another Story and The Light in the Darkness are being put on hold for the foreseeable future. This morning, I powered up my laptop for the first time since before Christmas with the intent to start writing, and I didn't even know what to write. Writing has always been, and will always be, my therapy which is why I want to carry on - my heart is just not in these stories. I won't say I will never write them again (I've kept all of the plans for both, and the drafts including scenes/chapters which haven't been updated yet) because I may sit down and the words may just come naturally. At this moment in time, I think I need to be focusing on looking forwards rather than going back. I hope you all understand. Thank you for being there in that year. Even the smallest review basically telling me to get my arse in gear has made me feel that not everything is bad :) xxx