![]() Author has written 2 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians. The Percy Jackson pledge: I promise to remember Percy Whenever I'm at sea I promise to remember Annabeth Whenever a spider comes at me I promise to protect nature For Grover's sake of course I promise to remember Luke When my heart fills with remorse I promise to remember Chiron Whenever I see a sign that says ''Free Pony Ride'' I promise to remember Tyson Whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side I promise to remember Thalia Whenever a friend is scared of heights I promise to remember Clarisse Whenever I see someone that gives me a fright I promise to remember Bianca Whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother I promise to remember Nico Whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others I promise to remember Zoe Whenever I watch the stars I promise to remember Rachel Whenever a limo passes my car. I promise to remember The Stolls when my home is beginning to unsettle. I promise to remember Beakendorf whenever I see someone working metal. I promise to remember Silena whenever a friend takes one for the team I promise to remember Michael Yew whenever I see a smile that gleams. I promise to remember Briares whenever I see someone playing hand games. I promise to remember those lost in the Battle of the Labyrinth whenever I see a cloth in flames. I promise to remember those campers who fought against Kronos whenever I see someone go against the odds. Yes I promise to remember PJO Wherever I may go The Olympian Pledge: I promise to remember Ares Each time I hear of World War II And I promise to remember Athena Whenever I hear of a loom I promise to use the internet For Hermes' sake of course And I promise to remember Poseidon Whenever I ride a horse I promise to remember Zeus Whenever lightning fills the sky And I promise to remember Hera Every time a guy makes a girl cry I promise to remember Aphrodite Whenever I see a girdle made of gold And I promise to remember Apollo When the sun is very bold I promise to remember Artemis When the moon shines in the night And I promise to remember Hades When something gives me a fright I promise to remember Demeter Whenever a daughter moves away And I promise to remember Hephaestus When someone never gets their way I promise to remember Dionysus When I am at a party And I promise to remember Hestia When someones smile is very hearty Yes I promise to love The Gods Wherever I may go So that all may see my obsession Because I know what the Olympians know! Now swear it on the River Styx! Fear You aren't afraid of the dark. You're scared of what's in it. You aren't afraid of heights. You're afraid of falling. You aren't afraid of death. You're afraid of dying. You aren't afraid of the people around you. You're afraid of rejection. You aren't afraid to love. You're afraid of not being loved back. You aren't afraid of letting go. You're just afraid to accept the reality that they're gone. You aren't afraid to try again. You're afraid of being hurt for the exact same thing. Things My Mother Taught Me: 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. HOW TO SUCCEED AT BEING A NORMALTEENAGER (In 15 easy steps): 1. The first step in becoming a normal, bland, and spineless individual is very simple. Never think. About anything. Ever. If you have a thought, let it go. Let someone else think for you. Thinking is hard. Let someone else do it. Save your little conformist brain cells for something less difficult. 2. Now let's talk about music. You like unique music? Not anymore! You get to listen to the same generic, repetitive sound that everyone else does. You know, that one beat over and over with the words "Yeah", "baby" and "ooh" being repeated. Lucky you! 3. To be normal, you've gotta dress normal. If you're a girl, that means you wear leggings as pants and cut up your t-shirts so they just barely cover your chest. Uggs are a must, for any time of the year, including midsummer. If you're a guy, you wear the hem of your pants on the back of your knees. Overly violent band t-shirts for bands that you only know one song for is highly recommended. Jerseys and shorts are the number one choice for extremely cold weather. 4. Now that you're dressed like the little snowflake you are, it's time to talk about relationships with your parents! The next time they ask you to perform a non time-consuming chore or a small favor, be sure to throw a complete tantrum in the kitchen. Tell them how much you hate them and how they don't accept your individuality, as they can see by your intuition in fashion. Be sure to include that they don't love you and that they wish you were never born. Follow this by running to your room and slamming your door off its hinges. If they attempt to speak to you at any time after this, lay face down on your bed and scream at them through your pillow. Scream about how no one loves you and let your excessive eye makeup run down your face, too. 5. To ensure that you're everyone's favorite person in the morning, don't ever sleep. It's recommended that you should stay up all night on Facebook chat, having the exact same conversation with nine different people. It should be going something like this: YOU: hey "FRIEND": hi YOU: wassup "FRIEND": nm, u YOU: nm "FRIEND": im bored YOU: same "FRIEND": wat r u doin YOU: nothing u "FRIEND": nothing YOU: lol "FRIEND": lol …And should continue this way until the wee hours in the morning. During this time, no homework should be done, and only caffeine and sugar filled foods should be consumed. 6. If someone offers you an alcoholic drink, TAKE IT. CHUG IT DOWN. YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO LOOK LIKE A LOSER WHO DOESN'T DRINK. YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. DRINK IT. DRINK IIIIIIIIIIT. 7. Speaking of your amazing friends that are so nice to you and you to them, you must remain in contact with them at all times. They have to know everything that's happening in your life, just like you need to know theirs. Every time you start and finish a meal, update your Facebook status. Each time you borrow your mom's car to drive to someone's house to do nothing but sit on their couch for three hours, you should tweet when you left, while you drive there, when you get there, while you're there, when you leave, on your way home, and when you get home. Your phone must be in your hand, or within five inches of it at all times. You can't afford to not have it. What if you miss an important tweet? Your friend could be eating a cheeseburger and you won't know about it! YOU NEED THAT PHONE. Treat it like your child. No, treat it BETTER than your child, which you'll likely have in the next two years. *Important Note: Don't forget to do it while you drive! 8. Go beat up/ridicule a gay kid. Even a kid you think is gay and really isn't. Assume that every guy in the school play and any girl not dressing like a slut is gay. 9. You must use these words/phrases a minimum of five times per minute: - 'Like' - 'Um' or 'Uh' - 'Ohmigod' - 'Literally' - 'Legit' - 'I know, right?!' - 'Dude' - A swear of some kind - 'THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!' - A misinterpretation of the word 'Irony' (And for those familiar with internet vernacular) - 'Derp' and/or 'Herp' - 'Fail' - 'FFFFFFUUUUUU' - 'ASDFASDFASDFASDFASDF' - 'WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN' - Sentences that begin with 'Y U NO' - 'UR GAY' - 'FIRST!' 10. No matter how pretty, thin, and beautiful your outward appearance is, you must always dismiss yourself as "ugly", "disgusting", "hideous", etc. 11. Interpret EVERYTHING you see and hear as sexual. 12. You should ALWAYS expect sympathy from others no matter WHAT you do. Expect that your friends will cry and hug you when you tell them about that tragic weekend your mom took your phone away, ALL because you were caught driving drunk and having sex. 13. The only words you read should come from a TV, a computer screen, or your phone. Reading is for losers who don't have friends to text. 14. If you are doing poorly in any class, expect that the teacher secretly hates you. They really, really hate you. Even though you're doing awesome in that class, they give you bad grades because they are secretly trying to destroy you, and keep from you getting into the party school you want to go too, even though mommy and daddy will buy your way in there anyway. It's NEVER your fault. That teacher WANTS to see you crash and burn. Don't forget to say that to their face and to complain to all of your friends! 15. What's that? SOMEONE IS ACTING DIFFERENTLY FROM YOU! They are assaulting your individuality with individuality of their own! They don't listen to the music you do! They're a girl, and you can't even see their bra straps! How can she hope to be respected when she's not even a d-cup?! They're a guy and you can't even see their boxers! The smell of Axe body spray isn't activating your gag reflex! You know what you must do? ATTACK! DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY! How dare they act more intelligent and insightful than you, even though they are! DESTROY THEM PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY! What's this?! THEY'RE GAY TOO? NO! THAT GOES AGAINST THE RELIGION YOU SAY YOU FOLLOW BUT REALLY DON'T! NOOOOOOO!*explode* CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE NOW A COMPLETELY NORMAL TEEN. Go cry now. Mummy, Johnny brought a gun to school, he told his friends that it was cool. And when he pulled the trigger back, it shot with a crack. Mummy I was a good girl. I went to school, got straight A's, I even got the gold. But Mummy, when I went to school that day I never said goodbye. I'm sorry Mummy that I had to go, but please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another, and all because he got the gun from his older brother. Mummy, please tell Daddy that I love him very much, and tell Chris my boyfriend that it wasn't just a crush, and tell my dear little sister that she is the only one now, and tell my dear sweet grandma that I'll be waiting for her now, and tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best. Mummy, I'm not the first, I'm not better than the rest. Mummy, tell my teachers that I won't show up for class, and never forget this and please don't let this pass. Mummy why did it have to be me, no one deserves this. Mummy warn the others, I left without a kiss. And Mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try, I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry. I'm slowly dying with abullet in my chest, but Mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest. I ran as fast as I could when I heard the crack, Mummy listen to me if you would. I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new. I guess I'm not going with daddy on that trip to the zoo. I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid. I wanted to be an actress, Mummy I wanted to live. But Mummy I must go now, the time is getting late. Tell my Chris I'm sorry I had to cancel our date. I love you Mummy, I always have. I know you know it's true. Mummy all I wanted to say is, "Mummy I love you." In memory of the Columbine students that were lost needlessly, violently,and pointlessly. You will never be forgotten. Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid? I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. Very few personal problems can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives. Taste the rainbow - Eat CRAYONS! There are three types of people: those who can count, and those who can't. History lesson: the dinosaurs didn't go extinct, Barney came and they all committed suicide. I ran with scissors - and lived! Slinky Escalator = Endless fun! Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: where the heck is my ceiling? ACTUAL PRODUCT LABELS: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty If you could read that, paste this to your profile This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is retard cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now read the THIRD word of every line Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.. The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. I'm not a complete idiot - some parts are missing. I see regular people! Run for your lives! Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. A secret admirier is only a stalker with stationary. If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk! If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete. You say physco like it's a bad thing... Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. I'm not always a dork- sometimes I'm asleep I'm not insensitive, I just don't care Oops! I appear to have fallen on your lips The only reason I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over. NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast PJO FANS: will tell Zeus to make it rain NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG! PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS! NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings PJO FANS: won't go to one because they will take away your awesome demigod powers NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I'll tell on you! PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you! NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers/skills NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down (politely) NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile! A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address, and sent the e-mail without realizing his error. In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been 'called home to glory' following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My Loving Wife From: Your Departed Husband Subject: I've Arrived! I've just arrived and have checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. (P.S. Sure is hot down here!) Notice: To all those who think Homophobia is wrong and want to fight for a better future for our gay and lesbian friends, please repost this into your profile: Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it. I hate when people say Hades is the devil! If you actully read Greek Myths he is the god of death meaning good and bad people go to him when they die. He is not evil, he is strict but fair. "But he kidnapped Persephone." Well if you were surrounded by the dead all the time wouldnt you want someone to love and one of the most beautiful people to lighten up the place. The underworld probably got lonely and I bet that a three headed dog and the dead are not that great coversation holders. Dear Noah, Dear Impossible, (Y) So I have an addiction to Percy Jackson and I'm a bit of an angst freak. No one really reads this anyway so bye... Percy Jackson You say Edward Cullen, I say Percy Jackson You say red and black, I say Sea Green and Gray You say Forks, I say Camp Half-Blood You say Edward and Bella, I say Percy and Annabeth You say Jacob Black, I say Nico DiAngelo You say Volturi, I say Titans/Gaea/Giants You say, “Go to Hell” I say, “Go rot in Tartarus” You say football, I say Capture The Flag You say “Twilight is better than Percy Jackson” I say “Clarisse will hunt you down with Maimer” You say childhood, I say Percy Jackson and Heroes of Olympus You say depression, I say, “Annabeth misses Percy” You say Aro, I say Kronos and Gaea You say school, I say Goode You say, “I’m going to kill you!” I yell, “Hades will have your soul!" You say life, I say PJO and HoO *We found the Thief *We discovered the Fleece *We held up the sky *We survived the Maze *We defeated the Titans *We are heroes *We are Demigods *Forever a Team *Forever a FAMILY *We are the Percy Jackson Generation *Be wise like Annabeth *Be brave like Percy *Be strong like Jason *Be kind like Piper *Be funny like Leo *Be hopeful like Hazel *Be trustworthy like Frank Four girls are talking. The first girl says "Team Edward or Team Jacob?" The second girl says "Totally Team Edward." The third girl says "Team Jacob all the way!" The fourth girl says "Twilight is dumb. Edward, Jacob, Pfft. I'm on Team Percy Jackson." |