The Mentalist series compelled me to write fan fiction for the first time in decades. (Thank heavens fanfiction.net didn't exist in the '70's, because I would have flunked out of college writing and reading Star Trek fan fiction.) I keep wanting to continue the conversations after an episode ends, or fill in more back-story of the characters. I enjoy reading others' fan fiction and hope people enjoy what I have to offer. This site may well save me from alienating friends and family who, strangely, are not as obsessed with the characters and show. It's a pleasure to be here!

My TV tastes run toward science fiction and Star Trek (an original Trekker), good crime/mystery shows (The Mentalist, 24, The Prisoner, House), and cop shows (e.g., NYPD Blue, Homicide, Hill Street Blues). I used to write fan fiction in the 70's before it really existed. I've just stumbled into it again with The Mentalist and this site. I am especially fond of the mysteries, crime, hurt/comfort, and friendship genres. But anything can be done well and I also like romance, drama, adventure, and humor. I am most comfortable writing about mysteries, hurt/comfort, and friendship, particularly when I have ideas to contribute beyond just the character interactions.

I have one husband, two (grown) kids, two cats, and an 18-sided house. All the rest is subject to change without notice. Among other interests, I designed our last two houses, enjoy gardening (we spent all the money building the house, so doing our own landscaping was inescapable), and enjoy reading. I was a manager in the health care field before retiring.

A set of finely crafted insults:

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir, "said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
- Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
- Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but I'm afraid this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx

Misused, Abused, Mangled, and Otherwise Frequently Violated Words in FF

I offer this list in the interests of cleaning up word usage on FF. I post this because correct language is important to getting ideas across clearly and enjoyably, not because I am perfect (I'm not). It is distracting that so many of the same mistakes repeatedly appear in FF stories.

I have nothing but respect and admiration for writers for whom English is a second language. English has borrowed from so many languages, it is a mass of inconsistencies and special cases. I would find creative writing daunting if I had to write in a foreign language. Thank you to all ESL writers for bothering to write in the sole language I read. Any mistakes made while writing in a foreign tongue are more than understandable.

Thank you to those who have read this and offered suggestions or corrections. You help sharpen my own language skills.

a lot, adv. - degree or quantity (e.g., he liked her a lot)
alot, adv. - incorrect for "a lot"

amuse, v. - to make (someone) smile or laugh; entertain
bemuse, v. - to confuse or bewilder (widely misused in place of amuse)

accept, v. - to willingly receive or agree with
except, prep., conj., v. - not included, singled out (e.g., the actors were good except one), to exclude

access, v., adj. - to reach; reachable (e.g., access panel in the wall), from accessible
assess, v. - to evaluate, judge or take stock

affect, v. - to change, to have an impact
effect, n., v. - result, to produce a result (e.g., effected the improvement)

airing, v. - to air (out) as in a blanket or complaint
erring, v. - to make a mistake or error, from to err

allusive, adj. - in reference to, from “allude”
elusive, adj. - hard to grasp, from “elude”
illusive, adj. - something that illustrates

altar, n. - a raised platform as in a church
alter, v. - to modify

"another think coming" - need to reconsider; a variant for "another thing coming" (both are widely used)
"another thing coming" - need to reconsider; a variant for “another think coming” (both are widely used)

anyway, adv. - without further consideration; “anyway” is most widely used and considered correct usage
anyways, adv. - without further consideration; “anyways” is at best a casual/informal variant of “anyway” though it has been in use for centuries

apostrophe usage - correctly used for contractions (e.g., you’re) or to indicate possession (e.g., Jane’s car); other uses are incorrect (used for plurals) or controversial -- as in with numbers, dates, lists, etc.

aspiration, n., v. - goal, or act of inhaling (e.g., he aspirated the vomit)
inspirations, n., v. - from inspire – something which motivates, or, rarely, to breathe in

baited, adj., v. - a trap or hook with bait; or past tense of to bait (attracting an animal or targeted person)
bated, adj. - held back, as in bated breath, from to abate

born, v. - to give birth, to arise from
borne, v. - to carry, to endure

brake, v., n. - to slow to a stop (e.g., he braked for the pedestrian)
break, v., n. - to destroy (e.g., don't drop the glass and break it); an interruption or hiatus (e.g., let's take a break for coffee)

breath, n. - the air drawn into or exhaled from lungs
breathe, v. - to draw in or exhale air

capital, n., adj. - money, seat of government; uppercase letter, offense liable for death penalty
capitol, n. - building housing a legislative body

casual, adj. - informal (e.g., casual clothing)
causal, adj. - causing, contributing (e.g., rain was a causal factor in the accident)

censor, v, n. - to restrict information; someone who restricts information (e.g., the dictatorship censored news of its illegal arrests)
sensor, n. - a device that detects something (e.g., the motion sensor turned on the light when he moved) (from senses)

chock, n., v. - a wedge; to block wheels with a wedge; sometimes a British-ism for "choke"
choke, v. - to strangle

cite, v. - to reference (e.g., he cited the quotation’s source) or to give a citation (e.g., the cop cited him for double-parking)
sight, n. - vision (e.g., he lost his sight in the explosion) or an image (e.g., she was quite a sight after the party)
site, n. - location (e.g., the building site)

cliché, n. - hackneyed, over-used word or phrase; note that the adjective is “clichéd”

cloth, n. - fabric
clothe, v. - to dress

compliment, v. or n. - to favorably comment; a favorable comment
complement, v. or n. - to enhance or fit (e.g., the jewelry complements the outfit); or, portion (e.g., the full complement of soldiers); the thing which enhances or fits or is a portion

credible, adj. - believable (e.g., a credible story)
creditable, adj. - worthy of receiving credit (e.g., a creditable theory) (near-synonymous with credible)

definite, adj. - certain
defiant, adj. - resistant, rebellious

defuse, v. - to remove the fuse from (e.g., from explosives or, metaphorically, a tense situation)
diffuse, v. or adj. - to scatter, dilute; scattered, diluted; often misused in place of “defuse”

dessert, n. - last dish of a meal, usually sweet
desert, n. - arid land

farther, adv. - comparative distance; a distance beyond (can be a variant of “further” but only regarding distance)
further, adv., adj., v. - in addition to; additional; a greater distance or time

faze, adj. - taken aback, brought up short (e.g., he wasn’t fazed by her objection)
phase, n. - one step of a multi-step process (e.g., the first phase of the moon shot)

flair, adj. - style or talent (e.g., she had a flair for decorating)
flare, v. - to suddenly brighten or heat up (e.g., the fire flared when he poured on gasoline)

foregoing, adj. - literally, going before in time, space, sequence; just before, previous
forgoing, v. - to skip, abstain, do without (e.g., he was forgoing the party because of work)

founder, v. and n. - to sink, as in a ship; the creator of something (e.g., the founder of the business)
flounder, n., v. - a type of fish; to splash, thrash or struggle

gibe, v., n. - to make insulting, taunting, derisive comments; the insulting comment
jibe, v. - to be in accord (usually followed by “with”) (pronounced the same as and sometimes confused with “gibe”)
jive, n. - exaggerated or misleading talk; a lively dance

gloss, n., v. - the shine on a smooth surface, a highly shiny type of paint, a superficially attractive appearance; to give a shiny appearance to, to excuse or dismiss (to gloss over) especially by misleading (e.g., he glossed over the bad report card)
gloze, v. - to minimize or underplay; to extenuate; now a synonym for gloss (gloss over)

grate, n., v., adj. - a pierced cover (e.g., the metal grate over the heating duct), to shred (e.g., he grated the cheese for the spaghetti), or something which has been grated (e.g., grated Parmesan cheese)
great, adj. - big, wonderful

grisly, adj. - ghastly
gristly, adj. - full of gristle; cartilaginous; rubbery
grizzly, n., adj. - a brown bear; grayish (from grizzle)

hare-brained, adj. - foolish, silly, reckless (as in an idea thought up by a rabbit or hare)
hair-brained, adj. - incorrect for “hare-brained”

herd, n., v. - mass of animals; to move a group of animals (e.g., to herd cows)
heard, v. - past tense of to hear

"hide nor hair", n. - not even a glimpse of something (e.g., not seeing a glimpse of skin or fur)
"hide nor hare", n. - incorrect for “hide nor hair”

hoard, v., n. - to obsessively gather and amass (e.g., to hoard money)
horde, n. - large disorganized number, as in an unruly mob of marauders

"home in", v. - to locate (e.g., the GPS signal let them home in on the target)
"hone in", v. - incorrect for “home in” (to hone is to sharpen a knife blade)

imply, v. - to intentionally give an impression (e.g., he implied she was guilty)
infer, v. - to reach a conclusion from information (e.g., he inferred she didn't want to go when she mentioned her headache)

"intents and purposes" - for all aims and goals
"intense and purposes"- incorrect for “intents and purposes”

it’s - contraction for “it is” or “it has”
its - possessive of it (e.g., its tire was flat)

know, v. - to understand; to be acquainted with someone/something
no, adv. - dissent, denial; opposite of "yes"

lay, v. - to put down (e.g., lay it down there); also, past tense of lie (e.g., yesterday he lay down for a nap at noon)
laid, v. - past tense of to lay (e.g., he laid the book down earlier); informal, to receive sex (e.g., he got laid)
lie, v., n. - to recline (e.g., I will lie down), to tell an untruth or the untruth itself

led, v. - past tense of “lead,” to guide somewhere (e.g., he led the horse to water)
lead, v., n. - to guide somewhere; a dense, base metal

let’s - contraction for “let us”
lets, v. - to allow, give permission (e.g., he lets his dog run free)

load, n. or v. - burden, mass of something; or to fill (e.g., load a truck)
lode, n. - vein of valuable mineral (e.g., mother-lode of gold)

loath, adj. - disinclined, unwilling, reluctant (e.g., I am loath to go)
loathe, v. - to detest (e.g., I loathe politicians)

loose, adj., v. - un-bundled group (e.g. loose coins), euphemism for promiscuous (e.g., a loose woman), or to set free (e.g., he loosed the dogs of war)
lose, v. - to fail to win, fail to keep

moray, n. - a brightly colored eel
more, adj - a greater quantity or number
moré, n. - traditional custom or manner

nauseated, adj. - a person who is queasy (e.g., he was nauseated by the murder scene)
nauseous, adj. - disgusting, something that induces nausea (e.g., the nauseous sight)

"pastime", n. - a hobby, a way to spend time (e.g., jigsaw puzzles were a favorite pastime) (N.B.: recently corrected thanks to Clairebare)
"past time", n. - a period already over; often incorrect for “pastime”

passed, v. - to move beyond something (e.g., a car passed a truck), or to die (e.g., he passed away)
past, n. - a time not in the present or future

peak, n. - top, tip, pinnacle (e.g., of a mountain or experience)
peek, v. - to glimpse (e.g., he peeked around the corner)
pique, n. - annoyance (e.g., his pique at being tricked was boundless)

"per se" - Latin, in itself, intrinsically
"per say" - incorrect for “per se”

perpetrate, v. - To commit or execute (an act)
perpetuate, v. - To continue indefinitely (perpetually -- eternally)

pore, poring, v. - to examine closely (e.g., he pored over the diary)
pour, pouring, v. - to empty a container of a liquid or granular solid

principal, n., adj. - major person in an organization (e.g., the school principal); money invested; main thing
principle, n. - fundamental truth; moral(s)

quash, v. - to subdue, disparage (e.g., he quashed the silly suggestion)
squash, v. - to compress (e.g., the cushion was squashed by the heavy weight); often used incorrectly for “quash”

quiet, adj. - not loud, silent, motionless
quite, adv. - very, completely

rain, n. - water droplets falling from clouds
reign, n. - a royal person's period on the throne (e.g., the reign of Queen Elizabeth)
rein, n, or v. - the leather straps connected to a horse’s bridle, or to curb (e.g., he reined in the impulsive rookie)

rare, adj. - unusual, seldom seen, in short supply
rear, n., adj., v. - the back of something (e.g., move to the rear of the bus); to rise up on hind legs or pull back (e.g., the spooked horse reared up, or, she reared back at his insult)

riffling, v. - to quickly shuffle through, as a in sheaf of papers
rifling, n. - the spiral groove in a gun barrel that ensures bullets fly true
ruffling, v. - to muss up or disorder (e.g., the aunt ruffled her young nephew's hair); ruffled feathers, as in annoying someone

sank, v. - past tense of sink (this past tense has been widely abandoned)
sunk, v. - past perfect tense of sink (e.g., we have sunk the enemy’s fleet); widely misused instead of sank for past tense of sink (incorrect examples: he sunk the proposal, or, he sunk down on the couch)

scene, n. - setting
seen, v. - past perfect tense of see (e.g., I have seen the future)

shoe, n. - footwear
shoo, v. - to brush off, wave away (e.g., he shooed the annoying fly out the door)

shone, v. - past tense of to shine (e.g., the sun shone brightly)
shown, v. - past perfect tense of verb to show (e.g., I have shown him how to do it)

shudder, v. - to tremble
shutter, v. - to close off with shutters, as in a window or (metaphorically) an expression

straight, adj. - not curved, not misleading; heterosexual
strait, n. - a narrow passage (e.g., the Strait of Gibraltar), a challenging situation to navigate

taught, v. - past tense of to teach
taunt, v. - to tease or ridicule (often used incorrectly for “taut”)
taut, adj. - tense, filled with tension, as in a rope or situation

than, prep. - comparative, introducing the second of a comparison (e.g., she is smarter than he is)
then, adv. next, or a moment in time (e.g., he tore open the box, then looked inside)

there, adj. - indicating location
their, pron. - possessive pronoun (e.g., it's their house)
they’re - contraction of “they are”

throes, n. - extreme emotional state (e.g., he was in the throes of grief)
throws, v. - to toss (e.g., he throws the ball to the catcher)

to, prep. - connect with (e.g., bring it to me)
too, adj. - very (e.g., it was too bright) or also (e.g., she came too)
two, n. - integer after one

"toe the line", v. - phrase meaning to abide by a rule (from racers lining up at a starting line)
"tow the line", v. - to pull with a rope; often incorrect for “toe the line”

tortuous, adj. - twisting, winding (e.g., the roads through the mountains were tortuous)
torturous, adj. - like torture (e.g., the painful medical procedure was torturous)

wangle, v. - to manipulate, connive, contrive
wrangle, v. - to dispute, bicker, argue noisily; to herd animals

who’s - contraction of “who is”
whose - possessive of who (e.g., whose car is that?)

would've - correct spelling of the contraction, “would have” (and in similar fashion, "could've" and "should've")
"would of" - incorrect spelling for the would've contraction, likely because when spoken it sounds like "of"

you’re - contraction of “you are”
your - possessive of you (e.g., it is your car)