Chapter 36: Carpe Diem

Once the Doctors were more confident about the extent of Lisbon's injuries, they proceeded with the surgery to stabilise her condition. It was a great relief to Lisbon, who had been immobilised to prevent any further damage to her spine. After a while she was able to sit up in bed, and as more and more feeling came back in her legs the rehabilitation could begin in earnest. There was every reason to hope that a reasonable recovery was likely, although it was unlikely she would ever be completely pain free. Still it was an altogether more optimistic outlook than they had originally envisaged.

Lisbon was never short of visitors, although it could be a bit taxing at times having to keep up a conversation, when the drugs still made her feel drowsy. Once the drug regime reverted to less potent treatments Lisbon started to perk up, but she still needed time to recuperate as the physical therapy was exhausting.

The team were busy chasing down Karen's leads, but one of them always came by each day. Van Pelt and Rigsby wore their hearts on their sleeves, and couldn't help but show their concern. The first time Cho had visited, he'd gruffly squeezed her hand and swallowed hard. It was amazing how the man of few words and even fewer facial expressions could convey his feelings with a real sincerity, despite his more muted response. Lisbon was really choked to see Jane gently squeeze Cho's shoulder in a simple act of solidarity, it comforted her to know that whatever transpired, Jane had a true friend in Kimball Cho.

Although Lisbon knew Karen had been asking about her, nevertheless it was a surprise when she came to visit. Lisbon had made it abundantly clear that she didn't hold Karen remotely responsible for what happened, though Jane had been harder to win round on that score. It was ironic that Karen was just doing what Jane had sought to do for years, but Jane conveniently chose to ignore that. Unsure of her reception, Karen's first visit had been tentative, but after a warm welcome from Lisbon she became a welcome and regular visitor. She was one of the few people willing to call Jane out on his over protectiveness, not that it always went down that well. Even in this situation Karen refused to be fazed by Jane.

Although Karen would never be filled with the milk of human kindness, she had a genuine regard for Lisbon and would never forget how Lisbon had been there for Jennie. "I won't go on about it, but you know I'm sorry what happened. It just makes me more determined to nail the bastard. Fortunately Abbott's not as strait laced as he first appears, he's more than happy for my input. By time you're out, I hope to serve Bertram's head up to you on a platter – he's going down big time."

Lisbon appreciated that Karen didn't go overboard with pity, as fond as Lisbon was of Van Pelt the cloying sympathy was starting to get to her.

"I bet you're fed up of putting up a brave face for everyone; I'm sure I'd have snapped by now. How's the rehab going?" Karen asked matter of factly.

"I have my moments." Lisbon conceded with a smile. "Apparently most of the recovery takes place in the first six months, they're still optimistic I'll be able to walk unaided with time, but it's just laborious and tiring at the moment."

"Any good therapists?" Karen asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"There's nothing remotely enticing about the reality of therapy, regardless how alluring the therapist is. There'll be no magic to the relationship when I get home, unless I can get control of things again." Lisbon said with a hint of bitterness.

"I can imagine. Jennie felt the same at times. I think I drove her up the wall." Karen admitted.

"Did she have a coping strategy?" Lisbon was trying to see a way forward to keep Jane's inevitable protectiveness under control.

"You're going to have to set boundaries, otherwise it's just going to get you down pandering to everyone's feelings. I guess the hard thing is going to be channelling Patrick's energy into something practical. I do know Abbott would like Jane to help with some of the interviews. I think a bit of Jane's chicanery would help speed things along, if he could tear himself away for a while."

Armed with a plan, Lisbon lost no time tackling Jane. "We need to find out as much as possible about this kind of injury, we may as well know the facts, even if we don't like them. I'm fed up of being talked about and not knowing the facts. I need you on top form, if we're going to lick these Doctors into shape. Oh and by the way, Doctors are less likely to talk down to well presented people - so a shave and haircut wouldn't go amiss."

Jane realised he was being given a pep talk and was being managed, but somehow felt better at being treated like a useful implement rather than an object for pity.

"Yes Ma'am" He gave a quick salute.

Jane still had his bad days, but now he had a bit of fire back in his belly he researched Lisbon's condition like a demon, until he could converse on equal terms with the medical team. Needless to say there was opposition from some quarters to his getting involved, which didn't do much to combat Jane's natural distrust of the frauds in white coats, as he persisted in calling them. Lisbon firmly reminded him that those "frauds" had saved her life, and he should show a bit more respect to them.

After a couple of weeks Jane was pretty much an expert on the condition and treatments; he grudgingly admitted the value of the internet for research into matters like this. Heaven help anyone who tried to pull the wool over his eyes, he quickly honed in on any pseudo intellectual flimflam, designed to position the doctors beyond the questioning of the mere mortals they attended. Jane dissected his victims with surgical precision, the bigger the ego the harder they fell. Eventually Lisbon had to tell Jane to rein it in a bit as it was getting embarrassing

It all came to a head during physical therapy when Jane insisted the therapist was over taxing Lisbon. She finally blew her top, and banned him completely from her therapy sessions for the next week, as he just wouldn't stop interfering. In a perverse way Jane relished seeing her fighting spirit back, the fact that they had started to bicker again and weren't pussy footing around each other was a definite step forward.

After some arduous and frustrating sessions, Lisbon was finally able to take some tentative steps on her wobbly legs, using the parallel bars for support. She soon progressed to walking short distances with a frame or sticks, but her body had forgotten how to move and her co-ordination and balance felt off. When she tried a few steps unaided, she wasn't sure what to do with her arms. It was like learning to do a dance, when she couldn't remember all the steps. The therapist was more concerned with building up Lisbon's strength, than rushing to walk unaided. That would come naturally with time, but they needed to know that Lisbon could safely navigate her living space before she was discharged. Much as she hated it Lisbon had to agree to use sticks in the short term.

As they neared the point of discharge, Jane was allowed back in the PT sessions in order to learn how to help with some of the exercises Lisbon could do at home. The rehabilitation was going to be a long hard slog, but Lisbon's guts and determination went a long way to aiding her recovery.

The elections were looming, and predictably the opinion polls saw support for the New Order ebb away, as people reverted to their old allegiances. It was rare that a third party made much headway, and recent events had cast a shadow over Rutherford, although she had never been directly implicated in anything criminal. She would just be another footnote in history, a brief diversion lost in the annals of time.

Although they could never pin any of the murders directly to Bertram, there was enough circumstantial evidence to make the lesser charges stick. These would ensure it was unlikely he'd see the light of day for a long time, always assuming he survived a life of incarceration. With what he knew, he was a danger to those left behind and a convenient accident could never be ruled out. Not many people would grieve the passing of Gale Bertram.

Jane had agreed to help with the interviews until Lisbon was discharged from hospital, and with Jane's help they whittled away at the suspects. Unburdened by concern for Lisbon's reputation, yes Jane did factor that in occasionally, and without the prospect of a future at the CBI, Jane cut through the crap with rapier like precision. Abbott winced at the way Jane dealt with people, but it was undeniably effective. It rarely took people long to fold under his clinical assault. Cho observed impassively, guessing Jane was taking his frustrations out in the interview room, leaving Cho to follow through with a more professional line of enquiry that would stand up in court.

As Abbott's scourge of the establishment continued apace, the team were working flat out and had less time to visit. They frequently worked long shifts and conducted dawn raids, isolating suspects before they had the chance to forewarn their accomplices. Abbott worked the team hard, and they responded to the challenge, forming a good working relationship with the uncompromising FBI agent. As time passed and the operation started to be wound up, a new director was appointed to head up the CBI. She was from out of state, and had a reputation for being a straight arrow. She would undoubtedly want to rebuild the organisation in her own way.

Abbott had a high regard for the team, and knew it would be difficult for them to continue at the CBI, as they would always be viewed with a degree of suspicion. With assurances that Abbott would happily take them into his own unit back at Texas once they had gone through training, Van Pelt and Cho decided to take up the places they had been offered at Quantico. Abbott thought no less of Rigsby, but knew his personal ties would keep him close to Sacramento. Moreover Rigsby had recently started dating Gloria, much to Van Pelt and Cho's amusement. Despite the disparity in their backgrounds, they had really hit it off, Gloria was decidedly high maintenance and Rigsby was going to need that high flying job to keep up with her expensive tastes.

The initial euphoria of being discharged soon got worn down by the practicalities of living with impaired mobility. Jane's tendency to fuss soon wore Lisbon down. It was a natural reaction to want to protect her, but it only reinforced her frustration at her inability to be independent. Lisbon knew she was on a short fuse, and always regretted it after she snapped at Jane. As much as he tried to disguise his hurt, the tensed muscles round the eyes belied his forced smile. The whole dynamic took on a different perspective as Lisbon struggled to accept his role as carer.

Fortunately May continued to offer Jane support, he had never been one to share his feelings being naturally introspective, but he had come to rely on May as a sounding board. Always loyal to Lisbon, he would make excuses for her, but May could read between the lines and it was obvious all was not well. On the bad days Jane had to keep reminding himself how lucky he was to have a second chance, even if things weren't going to be quite as idyllic as they had hoped.

They continued to rub each other up the wrong way, as Lisbon reacted angrily to Jane insisting she used her sticks round the flat. In true pig headed fashion Lisbon over extended herself while Jane was out running errands, and Jane came back to find her on the floor. Defiant to the last, Lisbon grudgingly accepted Jane's help to get up, but when she felt a worrying tingle in her legs a trip to the emergency room was inevitable. Despite the scare, Lisbon still railed at the pressure to take things slowly. In the absence of anyone else, Jane took the full brunt of her invective. Although she regretted it afterwards, she couldn't bring herself to apologise as the resentment festered.

May and Minelli turned up unannounced one afternoon; May had a feeling that the situation was escalating. Lisbon really was her own worst enemy; Minelli hated to admit it but he was seriously disappointed in her. St Teresa she was not.

Alone briefly, Minelli caught Lisbon in his piercing gaze. "I knew you'd be cranky and independent, but I never thought you'd be so mean spirited. God knows the man can be infuriating, but I don't think you realise how lucky you are." He paused briefly to take in her shocked reaction before pressing on, it needed to be said, and Minelli knew he was one of the few people she would listen to.

"Everyone is bending over backwards to please you. No one is willing to call you out on your behaviour, but I have to say Teresa I'm frankly disappointed in you. I may not always have been Jane's biggest fan, but anyone can see he'd do anything for you Teresa, and he doesn't deserve to have it thrown back in his face. This whole setup is just too claustrophobic; you both need to spend time with other people. I dare say Jane's as much at fault in some respects, insisting on doing everything for you, but there's no excuse for your behaviour."

Lisbon's eyes smarted at the rebuke, but she recognised the truth of what he said. It was as she had originally feared; her temperament had got the better of her. The apple didn't fall far from the tree, and it shamed her to realise that she was echoing her father's behaviour in some respects. Minelli had come this far and was not going to let Lisbon get off the hook, so when Jane came back and attempted to fuss over Lisbon, Minelli pulled Jane back. "You're crowding her son, give her some space. Wait until she asks for help."

"I'm just trying to help."Jane said defensively.

"I know you are, but wait to be asked. Now how about a cup of coffee?" Minelli tried to get the visit back on track, as they started to chat about the situation at the CBI. Lisbon strained to reach her cup, and Jane immediately tried to get up to help, but was restrained by Minelli.

"Let her ask." Minelli growled.

Lisbon looked surprised, but rather than swallow her pride and ask for help, she persisted in trying to over reach.

"Teresa!" Minelli bellowed. "You won't choke on the words - just ask."

Lisbon's eyes flitted over to Jane's direction; they both looked chastened, accepting some responsibility for the situation. "Please ...Patrick" the words came out falteringly, Jane gave a wry smile and a nod before reaching over to help her. A muffled thank you followed. Minelli nodded approvingly ."There that wasn't so bad."

Minelli stayed on for a while to monitor proceedings, before finally leaving, they figured Jane and Lisbon needed some time to thrash this out.

"You don't need to ask every time." Jane said quietly. "I'll try not to crowd you in future."

"No. Minelli's right, I've been a prize bitch. Forgive me Patrick." Lisbon lowered her eyes, the shame of her behaviour weighed heavily on her. Jane shuffled over to sit next to her on the sofa and slid his arm around her, for the first time in weeks Lisbon offered no resistance. "It'll work itself out Teresa; it was bound to take a while to adjust."

A logical discussion ensued agreeing terms of engagement, which allowed Lisbon a degree of independence, but included a tacit agreement that she would ask for help when needed. Neither were comfortable with the formal asking and thanking, but a method of silent communication soon evolved where a tilt of the head would indicate the need for help, followed by a quick smile of thanks afterwards, and gradually an equitable way of life evolved.

Comfortable with each other once more, the next hurdle was the resumption of a normal relationship. They had been given the go ahead to resume physical activities with care, but they were cautioned that it would be inadvisable for someone with Lisbon's health issues to have children. Although they had never discussed the subject, Lisbon was strangely discomforted about the option being taken off the table. She had long reconciled herself to being childless, but she still experienced an unexpected ache at yet another lost opportunity.

Despite the assurances that it was safe to do so, Jane was reticent about taking matters further for fear of hurting Lisbon. It was left to Lisbon to take control of the situation; taking matters in hand she manoeuvred Jane to the point of no return. Afterwards she settled back smugly, as they both lay breathless and sated. "We're supposed to be taking it easy woman." Jane huffed.

"There's no point shaking up the bottle if you're not going to pop the cork." She replied archly, hoping that once that cherry had been popped things would go back to normal.

So they settled into their normal routine, bickering and jousting, but without the undercurrent of rancour. An affectionate, more honest relationship, not perfect by any means, but they were comfortable and at ease with each other. As things improved Lisbon was able to get out and about more, and was finally able to enjoy the semblance of a normal life.

The team were starting to make new lives for themselves and Jane and Lisbon felt their absence keenly, it was almost empty nest syndrome. It was time that they started to move on themselves, and Jane started to contemplate formalising their relationship once more. There was nothing to keep them in Sacramento, they could move out to the coast or leave California behind them for good. The possibilities were infinite, although they both preferred sunnier climes, but it was time they sat down and had a serious discussion about their future, and Jane retrieved the ring he had bought prior to Lisbon's shooting.

Strangely enough Jane struggled to pluck up the courage to ask the question, his confidence had been undermined over the last few months. It had been going on for days; Jane had been toying with the box in his pocket, but never quite got as far as asking the question. You didn't need to be a detective to work out Jane's intentions, and Lisbon had been waiting expectantly. As yet another day threatened to pass by, her patience started to snap - honestly how could such an arrogant jerk be so insecure when it mattered?

"Is it so difficult to ask that question?" Lisbon gave him a long hard look.

Subconsciously Jane's hand went to down to his pocket, his lips quirked. "What question?"

"The one that's burning a hole in your pocket." Lisbon rolled her eyes in exasperation.

An embarrassed half smile appeared on his lips; Jane guessed he'd been rumbled. "I've been waiting for the right opportunity."

"Jeez, what are you waiting for? Some astrological sign, must Venus be in conjunction with Mercury? I was kind of hoping you'd ask me sometime this Millennia, besides that box will be worn out if you keep on fingering it like that."

Jane licked his bottom lip, then teased speculatively."Well you could ask me - after all I know how independent you are."

"Yes, but I'm not the one who's been carrying that box round with them all week. Honestly if you pat your pocket one more time, people will think you've got a drug habit." Lisbon growled in frustration.

"There you go again. You've just ruined the magic woman." He pursed his lips, failing miserably to hide his amusement.

"Magic!" Lisbon screeched, before looking to the heavens for inspiration. "If I could wave a magic wand that ring would be on my finger by now."

"What about the romance? I wanted to woo you, to take you to the finest restaurant, and partake of the food of love, and then pop the question over some champagne." Jane elaborated.

"The answer's yes, wherever you ask it." Lisbon would have this out, one way or another tonight.

"Patience woman, I haven't asked you anything yet." Jane huffed.

Lisbon just rolled her eyes and quipped "Well I'd prefer to have my own teeth for the wedding photographs, but at your pace we'll both be in the retirement home."

An irrepressible grin broke out on Jane's face, she was adorable when she was like this, more like his old Lisbon.

Lisbon took Jane's hands before gathering up her courage and speaking from the heart. "Patrick after the last few months, grand speeches count for nothing, if we don't know each other now we never will." Jane's face stilled into a more reflective pose, as his eyes engaged with Lisbon's.

"All my life I've done the sensible thing, lived for my career. I'm starting to realise that being so single minded, I'm just a shadow of the person I could have been. If I'd been prepared to make compromises, to have an ordinary life, I could have settled down years ago, but once I'd encountered the extraordinary I couldn't settle for anything less, no matter how long I had to wait."

Jane pulled her towards him and Lisbon buried her face in his chest before looking up earnestly. "Life is all too transient, we both know all too well how things can slip away from your grasp when you're least expecting it." Jane gave her a watery smile and tightened his grip around her, there was no way he was letting her go now.

A feeling of calm descended, as they were transfixed by each other's gaze. Lisbon felt strangely liberated, and had no qualms about the words that followed. "I may never be quite the person I was before, but I'm not going to let that stop me having a life. Let's seize the day and take this chance of happiness. Marry me Patrick, make me your wife, and let's finally dare to live."

And a few weeks later Jane did just that. The future was uncertain, but there were no guarantees in life. You just had to make the best of the cards you were dealt, and they had every intention of doing that.

A/N Thanks to everyone who has followed this story, especially to those of you who have commented and given so much support [both moral and technical]. I have really enjoyed writing it, even if this last chapter was a struggle. I just wish I'd had more time to finish it off properly. Hopefully I'll be back shortly with a new story when work settles down again.