Update 03-12-2013: I wanted to reset the timeline of this story, so that it would take place after Lorelai "kidnapping" Jane and subsequently being killed. This also means that it takes place after Lisbon inadvertently confesses her love without uttering a single romantic word.
It's been a number of years since I've actively participated in the Fanfiction world so I'm quite rusty. However, the brilliant creation and increasingly remarkable acting on The Mentalist and especially its vivid lead characterization have awoken the storyteller in me out of hibernation. Hope you enjoy this and keep in mind that no copyright infringement is intended.
~~ * ~~ ~~ * ~~ At the CBI Office ~~ * ~~ ~~ * ~~
Teresa Lisbon had been having a bad, heading to terrible, week when the phone rang in her office and changed her world.
"Lisbon," she barked into the phone.
"Teresa," a male voice said on the other end. "It's Mike O'Malley from the Chicago PD. It's been a long time."
Lisbon paused a second, remembering the gangly teenage boy she had been in English Lit with during her junior year. "Wow, Mike," she said more warmly. "How've you been?"
"Good, busy." Lisbon heard the tightness in Mike's voice. "Look, Teresa this isn't really a social call."
"Oh?" Lisbon asked curiously. "You've got a case that needs consulting or something?"
"Or something," Mike responded. "A couple of days ago Chicago PD got called for a homicide. Looked pretty clear-cut like a car accident except for one thing. The victim had on a necklace with a cross pendant." Lisbon's grip on her phone instinctively tightened. "It was engraved with your Mother's name."
A few minutes later, Lisbon silently stood as she surveyed the bullpen. Cho and Rigsby were laughing at an inside joke they had just shared. Grace was typing quietly at her computer, a cold case file open in front of her. And Jane was lying on his brown couch with his eyes closed.
She took another moment to listen to the laid-back buzz of noise, before recollecting her phone conversation with Mike O'Malley just a few minutes prior. How could one unexpected phone call turn her world around even more than usual and cause such a mixed rush of emotions - pain, anger, grief and overwhelming sadness. The last time she had felt this was when the doorbell rang for her family home and the Chicago PD had informed her of her Mother's accident. As her heart rate automatically started to race, the din of background noise faded as a sound matching her rapidly increasing heartbeat began to pound loudly in her ears.
"Lisbon." the softly spoken sound of her name interrupted her reverie. She blinked and looked in the direction of the voice.
Patrick Jane was standing 3 feet from her, a look of concentration etched on his face, observing her carefully with his left hand slightly outreached towards her. Seeing his hand reach towards her further, she automatically took a small step away.
She ignored the tiny, almost imperceptible look of hurt flit across his eyes. "Uh, what is it Jane? she asked trying to sound casual. In her head, her voice sounded distant and unnatural. There was also an unmistakable warning in her voice that warned to back off. She hadn't meant to let him hear that.
But then, she hadn't meant for him to see the raw emotions just a few weeks ago that she had pent up so long.
Jane opened up his mouth to say something and paused ever so slightly. His face suddenly masked over and he shrugged, "You just seemed miles away." was all he said as he put his hands in his pockets, his chin slightly tucked. It was the same apathetic expression he wore sometimes when he was ducking a question or more accurately an accusation. It was nearly the same expression he wore when he saw a certain naked corpse covered in just a bloody white sheet a few weeks ago.
She didn't respond but instead shrugged back. "Actually," she started a bit loudly so that everyone in the bullpen would hear, "I'm planning some time away."
At that remark, her team turned three pairs of incredulous eyes on her.
"Boss? Is everything okay?" Rigsby ventured.
Lisbon didn't answer immediately. "I need to deal with some personal matters." she said finally. She realized she was being cryptic but she wasn't about to share the details of her phone call with Mike, nor was she going to tell her team how that had raised all sorts of questions about her past and how it made her question practically everything she thought was the truth which basically shaped her as she was today. Besides, sharing private details was not in her nature.
Her team remained silent, the three agents looking puzzled but not daring to probe further. She did not dare to look towards the blond consultant.
"Cho's in charge while I'm gone." she said more clearly. Her eyes sweeped across the area more widely. Jane continued to stand where he had been before and was now staring intently at her, his head cocked slightly to one side in thought. Ignoring this, she turned and headed towards her office.
She didn't have to look behind her to know that Jane was following on her heels. As soon as her door swished closed, it opened and he swiftly came to stop in front of her desk.
Lisbon was bent over her desk and did not look up as she reached for her bag and began packing her contents. Wallet, badge, gun. She knew he wouldn't remain silent for long.
"Go ahead," he said. "You are mulling now but saying it out loud will lift a weight."
Lisbon looked up at him wearily. During that moment, she felt her breath begin to hitch as she took in the sight. A typical three-piece suit over a slightly crumpled shirt covered his medium but slight frame. The shirt, the only sign reminding her of the 6 months when he was away, and when he had looked unkempt. The only remnants reminding her of the unshakeable ache and hurt that ensued during those months of having her calls and countless pleas for him to connect being ignored. And a constant reminder of that woman he had been with, and had been willing to throw away his life and future to become close to.
Had time and again been willing to throw away his life and future to get close to again.
He had somehow become her closest confidante just before he disappeared for 6 months, and alternated between being close and far since he had come back into her life. She had somehow become his unwitting protector and sound-board, but an invisible wedge had truly been digging deeper between them starting from the months he was away and then during the days that elapsed since his kidnapping. This was the direct result of his blind insistence to find his wife and child's murderer at the expense of others, and the recklessness that was more evident than ever in all the years she had worked with and gotten to know him. Her constant worry over him was surpassing the natural enjoyment she secretly, or perhaps not so secretly got from partnering with him. Since that moment in Julia's house, the agony of her situation came to a head. Lisbon felt the build-up of exhaustion overwhelming.
"I don't have anything to say." she replied to Jane, not looking at him. Feeling his eyes intensely watching her every movement again, she forced herself to look at him more directly. For the first time, she felt as if the tables had turned for the first time in months. He was the one wanting her to open up. He was the one who was worried. She thought she would have liked being in this position again; and in prolonging his wait.
"It's about my Mother's death," she confessed. "I got a call - I need a few days to look into some things. It's probably nothing." She didn't know exactly why she told him. She certainly didn't want him to pry any further, so she shrugged as if to indicate how little it meant to her.
He seemed to sense that because all he did at that moment was nod his head slightly and said thoughtfully, "I see." He quietly stepped back to let her pass, opened her office door for her and walked with her to the elevators.
When she stepped in and turned around, she looked at him curiously. She didn't expect that he would just let it go so easily. A part of her felt disappointed. Leaving her to deal with things on her own seemed to be an ever-growing habit. Perhaps he really had changed from a year ago.
"Have a safe flight," was all he said casually as the elevator doors closed. The last vision that Teresa Lisbon had of Patrick Jane was of him watching her looking back at him, with no expression or care betraying on his face.