The Proposal

Author: Little Firestar

Fandom: The Mentalist

Genres: humor/romance

Characters: Patrick Jane; Teresa Lisbon; the Lisbon clan; Mr. Gilbertson (borrowed from The Proposal).

Relationships: Jane/Lisbon.

Word Count: ~17k

Summary: "Your VISA expired. You have to return to Ireland" Bertram said, cutting Jane's conversation short. "It's been good working with you. I hope you don't mind, but I wish I'll never see you ever again." But somehow, Jane had other ideas. Especially concerning a certain brunette. Inspired by The Proposal.

Disclaimers: By writing this, I don't get any money, nor I claim any right upon pre-existing proprieties.

A/N: Small spoilers for season 4, in case you haven't seen it yet, and five.

The day had started well enough, and Teresa Lisbon, that Friday morning, could say she was satisfied and almost happy. A slow day, no new case, the old ones already forgotten, and the promise of few days back in Chicago the next week, to celebrate Annie's sweet sixteen. The first holiday she was taking in... well, in a long time. Few years, maybe? It was probable. Lately (aka in the last nine years or so, since Jane joined the team), the only reasons she could have to stay home were either a suspension, if she had been temporary fired or injuries of various kind, both mental and physical. Getting time for herself for merely a selfish reason and because she actually wanted to... well, it was kind of new, and somehow intoxicating.

So, when Bertram called her to inform her to bring "her damn consultant's ass" in his office, she felt heat raising on her forehead, and a burning sensation between her eyes.

She knew that she was going to have (again) the headache of all headaches because of Patrick Jane... and even without being a psych, she felt like her plans for the next few days were going to be screwed by the idiot.

She left, quite furious, her office, slamming the door and screaming his name, but the bastard, as she liked to call him in such situations, still kept pretending to be asleep. He couldn't even try to hide his grin, like she was... a mark or an idiot. Sometimes, she really hated him. What, he thought she couldn't see something like that on her own? Well, apparently he had forgotten that she had been a cop longer that he had been around...

So, she did the only possible thing in such a situation.

She kicked his couch. Repeatedly.

"Ouch. Lisbon, you are hurting her!" he whined with a childish tone, leaving soothing caress on the old, brown leather of the piece of furniture like it was a living being. Lisbon merely crossed her arms and looked at him with a lifted eyebrow: sometimes, that man could really be strange. "So, Lisbon, what can I do for you on this fine morning?" he said, jumping on his feet and clapping his hands together, changing drastically both behavior and topic. She grunted, rolling her eyes. Yes, he was, indeed, a strange man... but then again, she had never made mystery of the fact that she considered him a bit...crazy, best case scenario.

"I just received a call from Bertram. He is in Hightower's old office and he said he wants to talk with you. Yesterday." She didn't add anything else, and, her headache already fully formed, she turned on her heels to return to her office, when, suddenly, Jane went in her way, stopping her from crossing the threshold.

Her eyebrows were reaching her hairline.

"I need you to come with me and knock at the door after few minutes saying that you need my help with a lead. Or something else. I'm not picky about that." He said. He wasn't asking, nor requesting. It really sounded like an order, and the only thing she could be, being ordered around by Jane, was annoyed.

"If you think I am going to lie to my boss just because you consider too boring a meeting with him, you are delusional." She said, not knowing if being mad for his request or amused for her response. She liked how she was handling the thing. A lot.

"I'd like to remember you that a meeting with Bertram could be negative for you, too. It's in your best interest delaying the inevitable, don't you think? And you want to go to Chicago this weekend..."

Damn him. She hated him, she really did. Why did he have to always be right?

"Ok, fine" she said, giving up, unsure if being mad with herself for having to agree with her consultant, or Jane himself, for being, as usual, right.

Mostly? Him. Especially as he chuckled and was almost going to pat her on the head like she was a child when they arrived at Bertram's.

"Remember, Lisbon. Just five minutes!" he whispered, as he entered in the room, faking a joyfulness he was far from feeling. God, how much he hated burocracy and that man...

"Hello, Gale, how are you feeling this fine morning?" he said, getting immediately comfortable on a red velvety couch, an horrible monstrosity that was supposed to fake the "Sun King" Style. Definitely nothing to do with his old, leather lady...

"Jane, do you remember what I told you when I said that we were making cuts, about our lawyers and the legal department taking care of the private business of our employees, especially the civilian ones?" Jane shrugged his shoulders. No, he didn't remember. Like he didn't remember almost a single thing that had ever left Bertram's mouth. Useless things... he immediately forgot them. There was no room for such items in his memory palace. "I told you that they weren't going to take care of private matters any longer, and that it was up to the employees, especially the civilian ones, such as yourself, making sure that everything was in working order."

"Well, Gale, I hate to break it to you, but my complaints are all about my work for the CBI, and they are all related to how I efficiently, efficiently being the key word here, close cases. I know that at the legal department they say I make them work too much, but I think you should remember them that it's for the greater good and..."

"Your VISA expired. You have to return to Ireland" Bertram said, cutting Jane's conversation short. "It's been good working with you. I hope you don't mind, but I wish I'll never see you ever again."

"They want to... immigration wants to deport me? But... it doesn't make any sense... I mean, I'm Irish! I don't come from a country controlled by Al Qaida!"

"Mister Jane, I have one word for you: IRA"

"What? C'mon, because I am Irish and I have a name that happens to belong to a Saint Patron I have to be a terrorist? And let me guess, I worked with law enforcement for something like ten years because I wanted to infiltrate your power structure? This is complete nonsense, and you know it!"

"I know Jane, but the law is the law, and, as you know, I happen to be the law, so..." He said, opening is arms in a theatrical way. His eyes, though, were betraying his words, it was visible how happy he was to finally get rid of his consultant.

"You know that with me out of the investigation, Red John will escalate..."

"Uhm, I don't know. Knowing Red John, I think there is a good chance that he'll follow you all around the world..." he said, not even trying any longer to hide his amusement. Apparently, kicking Jane's ass out of the CBI was too good to be true...

"But... You... I mean..." he was looking for words, and he didn't know what to say. He was so shocked that he didn't even point out that the whole IRA business was supposed to be bullshit for the simple fact that the military faction didn't exist any longer.

In that instant, they heard someone knocking at the door, and even before Bertram could invite them in, Lisbon entered, looking terribly apologetic. Jane did his best to hide his grin... he had turned her into such a good actress!

"Sir? I am so sorry to interrupt your meeting with Jane, but we had a new lead on the Willow case, and I really need his help, and..."

In that instant, Jane's eyes locked with Lisbon's, and he saw what was going to happen, and he knew that there was only one way out of this mess... and he needed, as always, her help in this. Whatever she wanted- and liked - it or not.

"...and you arrived at the right moment, Lisbon. I was just going to explain to the director that I can't be expatriated, as we happen to be in the process of getting married, my dear..."

She stared at Jane like a deer caught by lights, unable to form words, but on the verge of losing consciousness, or maybe having a breakdown. Jane expatriated? Jane her boyfriend? Immigration? Lying again to her boss? Marriage? She didn't know what thing bothered- and scared- her the most... " We are getting married..." she whispered, and she wasn't sure if it sounded more like a question or a weak affirmation.

"You are getting married?!" Bertram echoed her. But, differently from Lisbon, his voice seemed like a thunder.

"Yes, sir. You see... we tried to keep it out of the office as long as possible, but we can't hide it any longer. It's the moment to face the truth and the consequences of our actions: we weren't supposed to fall in love, but... we did. And how could I not fall for a woman like Teresa?"

"Agent Lisbon, is it true? You really are getting married to this man? On your free will? He didn't hypnotize you, or blackmail you in any way, or...?"

"Sir, I fear I'll have to agree with Jane for once. We weren't supposed to fall in love but... we did. " she said, as calm as possible, jumping immediately on the wagon. She didn't know if she was doing it for Jane's sake, though, or just because Bertram irritated the hell out of her too... Besides, at least now the idiot couldn't say any longer that she wasn't a good actress. "We've been the support system of each other for many years, and... all the early mornings... the late nights... the closed case celebrations... all those days spent together in isolated towns... we got... closer. We tried to fight it, sir, but... we owed it to ourselves, to give each other a chance."

Bertram looked at them, not amused by the whole thing. He had thought he was finally getting rid of Jane, and now... but it wasn't like there was anything he could do to divide them. Jane was a civilian, Lisbon an agent, and there was a loophole as big as the planet, allowing them to do as they pleased. So... the only thing he could do was congratulating them. "Well... I'm... happy for you. And you know what? I'll call immigration, and tell them to wait for you. I'm sure they'll receive you immediately with a small recommendation from yours truly!"

They left, and as soon as Jane moved to go back to the bullpen, she took him for his arm and guided him toward the exit. A look at Bertram's secretary, Antonia (a blonde bimbo with a huge crush on Jane), told her that the whole building had already been informed of the engagement and imminent wedding, and she didn't feel like facing the team. Jane, at her side, laughed under his teeth, well aware that what Lisbon was scared the most about was facing Grace... a woman obsessed with arranging weddings. The brunette was probably already invaded by a nightmare of silk, taffeta' and lace... and, in part, it was true. Lisbon was indeed having a living nightmare, but for a different reason.

In fact, as they left the building, she felt like crying inside. Because, from Bertram's tone, she knew that troubles still had to begin... The man had to have an ace up in his sleeves, he was up to something. What, she didn't know. But she knew that she wasn't going to like it. That was for sure.

Half an hour after their meeting with Bertram, they were sitting inside a small, dusty office at the local department of Immigration, waiting for a Mr. Gilbertson to arrive and fill the necessary paperwork for a temporary engagement permit. Jane was, as usual, relaxed and calm, while Lisbon wanted to scream. She was scared, and with good reason. She knew the law, and she knew what she could face helping him out. Immigration wasn't nice, lying to them could mean 5 years in a federal prison and a fee of 250.000$. If she would get caught... she was risking being broke, incarcerated- not a nice thing for a cop- and ended up unemployed.

Gilbertson arrived, and even before sitting at his desk, or giving them a glance, he started talking. Maybe Jane wasn't a terrorist, but from the way the agent talked and behaved... well, they were acting like he was one. She hated it. Jane was a good man, and was doing - had done- a lot of good for the people of the State of California. They had no right to treat him that badly, and with such a lack of gratefulness.

"That's how we are going to move. I'll talk with you, separately, I'll ask you things just people in a relationship are supposed to know about each other. We'll check your phone records. Your emails. I will call your friends, your families, your neighbors, the people you work with. We'll ask them about the two of you, and if I'll have even just the smallest hint that you've been lying to me and that Mister Jane coerced you, in any way, into marrying him in order to stay on US soil... then, we'll arrest the both of you, and send Mister Jane here back to his mother country."

"You think I'm either blackmailing her, or that she's been hypnotized. I wonder why..."Jane said, smug and arrogant and terribly, terribly calm. Lisbon wasn't liking it. She didn't like lying to immigration, but mostly... she didn't like that... "our boss told you so, didn't he?"

Yep. Exactly what she was thinking. Only, she was cautious enough to keep her mouth shout... but Jane was Jane. Cautious and rational weren't words present in his dictionary.

"He did. Like he told me that lying to you was pointless." Gilbertson admitted, as smug and arrogant as only Jane could be. Jane... who was delighted by his opponent. Something else that Lisbon hated. With a passion.

"Well...as friends go, our only relationships are within the bureau, and I'll fear you'll soon discover that our coworkers know absolutely nothing about our relationship. You see... we knew we should avoid... giving free reign to our emotions, but we fell in love with each other, and we couldn't resist our feelings. But we feared that the bureau would divide us, so we kept it quiet. For this same reason, we always met in my various motels. All of them, I fear, lacking any kind of security measures."

"So, you are telling me that no one knows about you two? Did you tell your families, at least?"

"I have no family left, I fear. With the exception of my father, which I haven't seen since I was 18."

"Does Miss Lisbon's family..." he started, but Lisbon cut him short.

"Agent Lisbon, sir" she specified.

"Are you trying to impress me, Agent Lisbon? Threatenme?"

"What? No!" she explained, sniffing a little for good measure. Not that what she was going to say was going to be so far from the truth anyway... "It's just that... I've been an agent...and only that... for so long, that it's hard, seeing me as something different, something... more. Even if Jane has always tried to get me to let it go."

Gilbertson immediately noticed the use of the surname-something that Jane too had done- but simply let it go, for the moment. Something was rotten there, he knew that, but he was going to reveal the truth only at the right moment... like he was going to ask why the man still wore a ring from a previous marriage, if he was going to get married again in a short while to another woman...

Besides, there was procedure to follow. And Gilbertson was all about procedure...

"So, does your family Know, Agent Lisbon?" he kept underlining her title, and the thing made her froze. It was like he was trying to scare her, by making her understand he wasn't scared of her. Which, in her mind, meant he was smelling that something was wrong with their story.

A 250.000$ fee. 5 years in jail. No job to return to. Damn him. Why did he have to be that good at closing cases? And why did she have to have such a soft spot for him? Sheep deep. She should have listened to Minelli, Bosco, Hightower, Bertram, Heffner and Wainwright when they told her to send him to hell...

"My family... they always suspected that there was something between us, but I always denied it. At first, because I was too stubborn to admit that I loved him, and too scared, and then... I was just too stubborn to admit that they had been right and I was wrong, despite being the eldest."

She took his hand while she spoke, and Jane felt like crying, because he knew the truth: what Lisbon was saying, was true. She was in love with him, and had fought the feeling for such a long time that denying it, especially to herself, had become like second nature for her. She knew, they both did, that loving him was like a curse, loving without the chance of being loved back, doomed to end up broken hearted the day he would have fulfilled his bloody revenge. He hated himself because he knew that he was making her suffer, that was shattering just a little bit more her kind heart, and he was almost going to call things off there and then, but he knew that he couldn't. For many reasons.

He couldn't tell Gilbertson that they had been lying, because he would have incarcerated them both, and Lisbon didn't deserve to serve time, to end up unemployed and broke for a senseless, enormous fee.

And... he couldn't leave. California. The CBI. Her.

He had seen what Red John had done the day they took the case away from him. He killed a whole team just to have Jane back as his personal plaything. Red John would have killed again... maybe even within the CBI again, had he decided that they were responsible.

And he knew how important Lisbon was for him, how much he cared for her... how much he loved her. He would have killed her first, Jane was almost positive of this. And he didn't have any intention of letting her at risk, alone to face a bloody, sociopathic killer.

"Lisbon and I are going to fly back to Chicago tomorrow. Her niece, Annie, is celebrating her sixteenth birthday with the whole clan. We wanted to take two birds with one stone, and announce the imminent wedding while we are there. Isn't it, dear?"

"Right" she told him, feeling void, lost and defeated. Jane and her family? It was such a bad recipe... she could already foresee failure. She could taste it on the tip of her tongue. Something was going to happen, their plan would be ruined and they would be punished for playing with fire.

Especially her.

"Well, in that case, I'll leave you to the burden of your imminent flight. But, by the end of next week, I'll call you to arrange your interviews, all right? Good! I'll see you when I'll see you!" And he dismissed them just like that, literally throwing them out with a wave of his hand.

They started to walk toward the office, and when Lisbon was sure that nobody from Immigration could see them any longer, and that Gilbertson wasn't following them around, she stopped, she faced Jane and hit him on the back of the head with a good slap.

"What the hell, Jane! I don't know if I should be angrier because your forgot about your expiring VISA, or because you put me in the middle of this mess!" Well, of course, there was also the fact that in the last ten years or so he had forgotten to mention that he wasn't a US citizen...

"'C'mon, Lisbon, what should I have done? You know that were I to leave, Red John would simply..."

At the mention of the killer, she slapped him again. Harder, way harder. It was nice knowing that he was thinking about them, the people who still considered him family despite everything...Right. Like she didn't know him well enough. Jane was...well, singe-minded, and his mind had been focused in getting-and killing-Red John in the last decade. It wasn't like he was selfish, he was...broken, complicated. But the problem was that she loved him just the way he was. Sheep deep.

"I am going to help you, Jane, because I am a good person. BUT on three conditions. One: I am a Catholic, and my religion is important for me, and I don't care if you don't agree with me. So, forget about getting a divorce. We'll get an annulment on the base of the lack of consummation, ergo funny business is out of the question, mister. Two: you'll have to propose, really and seriously propose to me, and three, you'll come with me, but I'll be the one telling my family about the engagement, and only when I'll be ready."

He nodded, hand on his heart, and she stared at him exasperated, when her eyes fell on his left hand, and on his ring. A ring, sign of a promise of love to and from another woman. A late woman who was no more. A woman who wasn't her.

"Ah" he simply told, studying the object for the first time in the last twenty years like it was foreign, like it was...a weight. He wondered why: yes, he loved Teresa, and he knew that she loved him back, but she didn't know about his feelings, and for the both of them, it was supposed to be a lie, a rouse, so, why did he felt like he was cheating on both Angela and Teresa by wearing it? Last time, with Lorelai, he hadn't felt that way, but now...

He smiled sadly, but strangely hopeful, and took her left in his own, going on his knees right before her, between the crowd who stopped to look at them.

"Teresa, I know it bothers you that I still wear my wedding ring, despite the fact that I lost Angela so many years ago. I know what people thinks... both who know our story and who don't. But... I told her until death do us apart, and it did it. But part of me died with her, and the man who is here, right before you, is another one. I'll take off this ring, Teresa, but only when, and if, you'll put another one in its place. Will you do that, Teresa? Will you marry me?"

And between the cheering crowd, Teresa, blushing, nodded, shyly, and hugged him back as he hugged her, keeping leaving butterfly kisses all over her face, but her lips.

It had been a perfect proposal, the one she had dreamt about since she had understood that she loved him. It wasn't plain, but neither over the top, like she feared Jane tended to be.

Too bad it was all a lie, and her dream wedding was going to stay just that, a dream.

They arrived in Chicago the next day, in the early hours of the morning, after having spent the entire flight void of any kind of conversation. First, she had been annoyed with him because Jane had managed to change her ticket (suddenly turned into their tickets) into first class ones instead of economy. She had tried to explain him that she didn't have the money, and didn't want for him to pay for her, but he told her it was all nonsense, and it was all for the story's sake. She had grunted, but, at the end, she had agreed with him. It made sense, after all. Jane was the kind of man who, for her birthday, took ponies, who used to randomly buy her the most expensive jewelry, who drove her to romantic locations for dinner or lunch on a whim or rented luxurious car just because he felt like, despite having a vintage car collection worth of millions of dollars (just their luck he had kept all the receipts)... he certainly wasn't the kind of man who made his woman fly into economy.

But just because it was very practical and rational, it didn't mean that she had to like it.

She didn't, in fact and that was one of the reasons she wasn't talking with him. The other being fear: of being discovered, of losing her job, of what her family was going to think... and fear of losing him. Jane had turned into such a constant in her life, that sometimes, despite being a pain in the ass, he was the only good thing in her existence. He helped her with her job, and even if he made it more difficult, he could also made it somehow funnier, like it was a smaller weight.

But, she knew that also the opposite was true.

She didn't know if the whispered confession of love he had made the previous year was true, if he meant it or he was having a nervous breakdown for real, but she knew that, to a certain level, he had been honest. Maybe he didn't love her, but she knew that he cared. When Red John had contacted him, she knew that he had left also because he feared for them. Getting the killer had turned into a mission not only of vengeance and redemption for him, but also of protection. He wanted to protect them -her- and any other potential victim, he didn't want for other fathers, other husbands, to feel like he did (like he still did). It was a feeling she knew all too well, something she could relate to, up to a certain point. Dramatically losing your beloved ones would to that to a young girl such as she was when it all went down.

When she came out from her reverie, they had just landed, and she was thankful that, all the way to the terminal, Jane didn't try any funny business nor things inappropriate for their sort of... status. Still, it was awkward: they weren't acting like they were freshly engaged, because they weren't engaged, despite being engaged...

She grunted. How came that her life had turned into such a B level soap-opera?

She was grateful that no one was there to pick them up, as she was feeling a bit guilty because they hadn't talked on the plane, so guilty, actually, that when they rented their car she allowed him to drive.

Maybe it was with that in mind that she chose the most secure, least powerful model available.

"So..." she said as she set the GPS with Tommy's address. "I got a good news, an almost good one and a bad one. Where do I start from?"

"Fire away, dear. Let's hear what death we are supposed to die of."

She looked at him with intent. She didn't find it funny, even if for the idiot who had allowed his VISA to expire it was pretty hilarious. "Bad news: just because you can read me like a book and I have a file the size of this country about you, we still don't know a single thing about each other. Good news: when you know where you can look, finding a standard questionnaire by immigration isn't that hard" she said, taking from her purse something resembling in size a notebook, two copies identical, with light green covers. "So, today, in our hotel room, we will each complete one, then we will exchange them and, almost good news: we'll have a couple of days to fabricate a story and learn as much as we can about each other."

"We don't need to fabricate a story, Lisbon. Sticking as much as possible to the truth is the key to make something believable."

"Too bad that our sticking to the truth would imply confessing that we aren't getting married and that you are an idiot who forgot all about your visa, and considered all that talking about the memory palace, I wonder how you allowed that to happen."

At her side, he grimaced, and she blushed, feeling a tiny bit guilty. But she wondered if she wasn't right. Maybe... this time he wanted to give up, he wanted to move on for real. His subconscious had already tried to tell him so few months before, when, high on Belladonna, he hallucinated his daughter saying so.

Had this "incident" been his subconscious' doing, too? She shivered and felt like crying at the idea that he, maybe, wanted to give up on them. As selfish as it sounded, as wrong as it was to ask him to keep living in the past, she wasn't ready to say goodbye yet.

"Are you all right?" he asked her, his eyes still on the road ahead, and again Lisbon felt shivers run through her whole being. He could read her so well... he could say when it was a comfortable silence, or a nervous one, such as this.

"Sure" she answered while putting a copy of the notebook in his duffel-bag and one back in her purse, but she had spoken too quickly, alarming him on how right he was in his initial assumption. But yet, he didn't pushed the issue. He knew that it would have just backfired, had he decided to try to understand what was going on, so he kept it quiet, hoping that she would open up once ready. Reading her more than that didn't cross his mind, as he knew what she thought of that, how she didn't like it. And in the last year, he had hurt and enraged too much her already.

He couldn't risk losing her.

They arrived at Tommy's half an hour later, Lisbon often suggesting changes of route, despite the GPS keeping repeating "error" and "recalculating". It was almost comical, and yet, perfect. At the outside eye, they could look, and pass, for a married couple, busy arguing over the shortest road, the traffic or so on. It was all too familiar for Jane, despite the years passed since the last time he had done something similar as a married man. At the thought, he felt a pang in his chest, but no guilt: it was longing.

Find a woman to love. Get married. Start a family Carter had told him. And, he wanted that, but it wasn't that easy, not with Red John out there. He wondered if this was the only parvence of normality, of family, he would ever get, a mere farce that was going to break both their hearts.

"Jane, we are here" he heard her say, shaking him as he realized that he had stopped. She was looking at him in the same way he had done with her previously, but Lisbon was clearly more worried. And he probably knew why. He didn't need to read her to understand that she thought he was thinking about his past, his family, how that was a mistake.

Oh, how wrong she was! If only she knew what he really wanted, how much he craved having that kind of life, for real, with her...

"Ehy, lovebirds, you want to stay in that bubble of yours for the whole weekend?" Tommy's voice broke the spell, as he opened his sister's door and gave her a soundly pack on the back. Teresa forgot about the situation, and returned back in time, when he used to do that when they were kids, so, just like she did back then, she hit him on the arms.

"God, Tommy, you are so impossible..."

"Thomas, it's good to see you. I thought that Annie and her sweet sixteen had driven you crazy..." Jane said, shaking Tommy's hand, and brushing Teresa at the same time.

"Nope. Lucky for me, Annie is more into cops and your guns than in teenagers and American Idol..." he grinned, and yet again Jane felt something in his heart. Again, it was longing, but not for something he wanted, but for something he had been robbed of. Also his Charlie would have been around Annie's age. Had she lived, he would have been teaching her to drive right now, and instead, he could only dream. Of things that had never been, and things that couldn't be, ever.

"C'mon, get inside to see everyone. We'll bring inside your cases later!"

"What? Tommy, we can't! We have a room at..."

"At the Milestar, I know. I cancelled it."

"I never told you where we were going to stay! How did you find out?"

"What? Like it was that hard! Pretending to be your assistant, I called every 4 star hotel in a few miles radius saying that you weren't going to come." she stared at him with angry eyes, extremely judgmental, like to say, I'm not mad at you, but I'm not proud either. "Reese, the guy buy you emeralds, ponies. He rents Ferrari's for you. If he could, he would stay in a 5 star hotel, but knowing you, you would say no, so he goes for the next best thing, a 4 star." he explained, like she was a child.

God, she had raised a cop. She hated it. And him... well, ok, she was a tiny bit proud. But just a little.

"Tommy, we don't want to disturb you..." she tried to say, desperately wanting to convince him to let them go. In an hotel, he could always sleep on the couch, but at home, with her family always intruding? Nope. No way.

"Please, you are not disturbing. I have a guest room I am not using, so, no big deal." he said, showing them inside. The place was very nice, definitely better than anything he had been living in lately. Better than his old place here in Chicago, and then his place in Sacramento. Being a bail agent was paying well, and she had to admit that, even if she didn't like that her brother was always in danger- like James was too, a firefighter just like their father- Tommy was good at it.

Uhm. All of them did somehow dangerous jobs-or at least worked in dangerous zones. She wondered what it said about them. And what Jane would assume, him with his mentalist abilities...

Jane was right: at the end of the day, her brothers were good people, and her little "accident" with O'Laughlin, and her presumed death the previous year, had made sure that once again they were a family. It was sad, though, that they had to almost lose their sister to understand it.

"Tommy, are sure you all right with that? I mean...us, sharing a room... a bed... with a teenager girl living under the same roof? I mean, I'll understand if you'll to set up an example for her..."

"Reese, she is sixteen. She is under no illusion that you two sleep platonically together at home. And trust me, Annie stopped to think of you as the blushing virgin a long time ago." he told her, rolling his eyes. "Besides, she says that she thinks that you two were sleeping together even back then, when we first met..."

She covered her face, grunting. Part of her wanted to die, the other, just to vanish. She hated the situation, and her family... why did they have to gossip about her private life? They had no right. Especially Annie. She was just a child. She was supposed to show some respect!

But... she was a bit curious, wondering why people kept seeing things that weren't there.

"But, before you see the others, there is something I need to ask to the two of you" he said, as, secretly, like a thief, he guided them not toward the living room, but the kitchen, closing the door at their back as soon as the three of them were inside. He stopped to be funny, he erased his smile, and he looked with shame and accusation at the couple. "A certain Gilbertson from immigration called yesterday. What the hell are you thinking, Reese?"

She looked at her brother, his hands on his hips, and for the first time she felt guilty, ashamed, like crying. She had always been the reasonable one, but right now, she knew it wasn't the case.

"Tommy, listen..." Jane said, getting between them. Lisbon wasn't a pseudo-mind reader like he was, but she didn't need to be to know that he was trying to protect her, like he was a shining knight of some kind. For a short while, when the image entered her mind, she felt like laughing. Jane, the man who hid behind her, a knight? Impossible.

"No, no, no, I don't care, ok? Just listen. This Glbertson guy is breathing on your necks, ok? So, either this is true, and you do what you are supposed to do... or, God help me, if this is all a rouse like he says because this guy here doesn't want to stop playing consultant to you... you better stop now, Reese. You are still in time. He says that he'll not persecute you if you say that it was a lie and Jane will leave on his own accord in the next 24 hours."

She went closer and closer to Tommy, and a part of her wanted to just slap him, tell him to stop. She wanted to remember him what was his place, that he wasn't supposed to play grown-up with her, but the breath and the words died in her throat.

She tried to say something, anything, but she couldn't, and when Jane was already on his way to step in into the conversation, they were saved by the proverbial bell.

Annie rushed into the room like a tornado.

"Aunt Reese!" She exclaimed, very, very, cheerful, hugging her aunt. Then, she went to stay in front of Jane, looking at him with intent and amusement. "Hello Mr. Jane or... do I have to call you uncle Pat, now?"

He didn't answer immediately, and his smile looked more like a grimace when he did. "Jane's fine, even your aunt keeps calling me like that, but I think I could live with Uncle Jane... or uncle Rick, if you really feel like shorten my name." Teresa breathed again, it wasn't the idea of being part of a family that disgusted him, merely the nickname chosen for him.

In silence, the teenager looked at the adults in the room. She didn't need to be a detective, be an adult, or possess Jane's abilities to know that something was wrong. But she felt like it was better if they didn't touch the topic, whatever it was. So, she did the thing the Lisbon's were better at: she changed topic, just like that.

"Ehy, everybody is already here for brunch! They are so excited to meet you, Mister Jane...well, uncle Jane!" she said, taking her aunt for an hand, and sending an interrogative look into her father's direction.

"Everybody? What do you mean with everybody?" Lisbon asked as she was already out of the kitchen, stepping feet into the living room, where, on the couches and chairs, her whole family had found residence. "Oh God. You mean everyone." she said, between clenched teeth.

She hated her family. She really hated them.

"Reesy!" As Amanda, James' wife, ran into her, Teresa lost her equilibrium, and almost fell on the ground. Fortunately for her, she had years and years of training at her back (and experience in catching Jane when he used to fall for this or that reason) so she was rather quick into regaining her composure, trying to look calm and detached.

She looked so calm, when it was so clear that she was embarrassed, that Jane couldn't help but smile at her, nonstop.

"We figured you probably didn't eat too much on the flight here, so we arranged a small brunch. It's so good to have you back here after so long... and to have you here with your soon to be husband... a man we didn't know about until yesterday!" she eyed Jane with intent, and he shivered. He felt like he was a piece of meat under Amanda's scrutiny. It was clear that, at least the woman, wasn't mad for the lack of information. She was rather...intrigued, by the whole thing.

"Oh, yeah... big sister comes back home after 4 years and she brings a man she is getting married to, despite the fact that we didn't know about him!" James lamented, talking while eating mini carrots. And he didn't stop, not even when Amanda and his daughter, seven years old Sam, looked at him like he was the evilest man on the planet. "What? It's true, and you know it!"

"Daddy, you weren't mad with uncle Andrew yesterday, and it was the first time I saw him. Are you a ma...masilist?"

"It's male chauvinist, honey bee, and no. Because I wasn't mad with uncle Andrew because he couldn't come because he was working in South America, in a mission. He is a priest, and he does a lot of good for the children out there!"

"Yes, because your sister spends her whole time doing nothing, right? Face it, James Lisbon, you are a sexist alpha male! Andrew's not been home in almost eight years but since he is a man, who cares, while Teresa, a cop, you talk to her like she lives in California because she sunbathes on the beach all day long! The truth is that you can't stand that she is damn good at her job because you think that women should live at home and being idiotic characters from desperate housewives... admit it, honey, you hate that she is a better cop that many men!"

As Amanda crossed her arms and looked at her husband furious, Jane understood a couple of things about the woman. Amanda- middle thirties, short, messy hair, dark brown and petite, dressed with jeans, a blue sweater and running shoes- was a bit of a feminist, and the opposite of the husband. Not the drastic type, but the "fighting for what matters" kind of woman. She loved Teresa, dearly, and the embarrassment in his sort of girlfriend's eyes told him the feeling was mutual. Jane guessed it was because Amanda had probably been a friend of Teresa before joining the family, and because she was the only sister in law that Teresa had liked and see eye to eye with. Both James' first wife (Sam had her father's features, but eyes that didn't belong to none of them) nor Annie's mum had ever been her b.f.f.

Of course, he also wondered how she could work out with James, as different as they were...

"Ehy, why don't we sit around this big, nice table and we don't have our brunch, uh? We'll talk about the important things later, and I guess that with a full belly we'll not feel like killing each other again any longer!" Tommy arrived just in time before Andrew could say something - he was clearly embarrassed about how he had been put in the middle of all of that - or the arguing between James and his ladies could proceed furthermore. He liked Sam, she seemed like an OK girl, precocious for her age, and she loved, despite everything, Amanda like she was her real mother. He wondered where the woman was, and how long she had been missing from her child's life.

They sat around the big round table- an heirloom, he guessed, from the way Teresa lingered on the cold wood with restrained tears- and they talked about the more and the less, exchanging polite niceties. More than once he caught he caught Andrew staring at his finger, not with accusation but mere curiosity, but the man didn't asked, and Jane didn't feel like talking. The fact that he didn't know what Lisbon had ever told them about himself was kind of a factor in his decision to stay in silence for once, too.

Annie, though, didn't think the same, and decided, for once, to behave like the girly-girl she absolutely wasn't.

"Aunt Reese, how did he propose? Has it been a Patrick Jane kind of thing or did he behave?"

Lisbon blushed, and Jane coughed, the food still in his mouth, and seeing their reaction, Amanda giggled, misunderstanding the whole thing.

"Ooohhh… kinky, I like it! Teresa, I need to know all the particulars...Every. One. Of. Them!"

"Dad, what does kinky means?"

"I'll explain to you in 20 years or so, honey bee..."

"She kind of have a point, though. We are curious, how did he propose, Reese?" Tommy asked, looking at her with intent. The damn bastard. He knew Gilbertson was right and he was trying to make them admit the truth as well.

"Well, you see... the fact is..." she started, and didn't know what to say. Yes, she had improved like actress since she had met Jane, but that? That, was a bit too much..."Jane, why don't you tell them how you proposed?"

He took a big breath, holding her hand for effect, looking at her. It helped too, because, after all, she was the one who grounded him, his guiding light. Whatever she liked it or not... even if she wasn't ready to admit that the love she knew he felt for her was that of a lover.

"Well...you see, even if we had kept it secret, Teresa and I had been dating for over six months. I know you think it isn't that long, but you have to understand that we've known each other for almost ten years. I'm not saying that we fell for each other as soon as we met, but...it has been kind of gradual. We were co-workers, then friends, best friends... and one day, as I saw her with a dress at a fund raiser, I thought that it was my favorite look on her. I started thinking about having excuses to talk her into overdressing and...I hated it, at first. I don't know if Teresa told you, but I'm a widower. I lost my wife and... I hated myself. Angela was no more, and I fell for another woman? I thought that it couldn't be right. So... I fought it. But then, six months ago or so... we were working a case, and an agent for homeland security joined us, Kirkland. Anyway... he had a soft spot for Teresa, and I saw that she kind of...reciprocated, and when he asked her out and she agreed, it was in that moment that I understood that I could lose her and...and I told her. At first, she didn't want to believe me, so I started to wine and dine her. I got her roses every day..."

"And you would say that a mentalist would know that I hate red roses..." she said, smiling, trying to cheer everyone up. "And you even once told me you weren't sophomoric when it came to seducing!"

"...I even made her serenades under her window, late at night..."

"and he even ended up in the hospital, because Mr. Roberts send his ward dog against him..."

"I gave her jewels, invited her to dinner in luxurious restaurants, but nothing. She didn't want to believe that I was honest when I told her that I loved her..."

"...also because he had already told me once, just to take it back..."

"Jane!" both Annie, Sam and Amanda hissed, sending emotional daggers in his direction. He grinned. The sound reminded him so much of Teresa... oh, how much had she probably talked about him with those women! They were even in sync!

"Actually, Lisbon, I already told you twice even if the first time she doesn't consider it, as we were undercover pretending to be married..."

"Oh, yes, I remember it, that time in the rehab...when you..."

"...shortly after I saw you with the dress, and I put a tiara on your head because I wanted for you to be mine..." he said, looking at her with shining eyes. If she didn't know any better, she would have said that it was real love that she saw there, and not just friendship, care and affection. "Anyway... I understood that even if she was ok with us being together, she still didn't believe me because I was... and I am... still wearing the wedding ring my wife gave me... it was in that moment that I understood that wine and dine weren't going to win her over."

"On Christmas day, while I was at Midnight mass, Jane joined me, and he sat at my side in church, holding my hand. I admit that when I felt he was still wearing his wedding ring, I was a little disappointed, but then..."

"But then, while the others were praying, I told her why I still had it on. I told Teresa that when Angela gave it to me, I told her it was until death would do us apart, and I knew that it had happened, but I always felt like a part of me had died with her. I told Teresa that the man who was there, right before her, wasn't simply Angela's husband, but another one, because, as much as I had loved my wife... it was for her that I've always done my best to be a better man. I told her, and I am telling you again, that I'll take off this ring, Teresa, but only when, and if, you'll put another one in its place."

"And it was in that moment that he asked me to marry him...and I said yes." He looked in to her eyes, teary. Teresa was telling them about his proposal, but he knew that there was also a bit of his return from his six months escapade in that story... the time he told her he loved her, and how he broke her heart. By staying away, not answering her...and by sleeping with Lorelai.

"By the way...speaking of marriages and weddings...I was thinking..." James started, playing quite nervously with the food in his plate when the others were getting ready for dessert while he had been on the same course for at least fifteen minutes- something quite unusual, from Amanda's look. Apparently, the guy was a bit of a Rigsby. He probably did a lot of exercise, because he was very fit. Or maybe it was genetic. Teresa devoured bear claws and pastries, and from what he saw when she wore those magnificent dresses at found-raisers... well, she was more than fit.

"Wow bro, that would be a first time..." Tommy muttered, receiving both from his daughter- at his right - and his sister- on his left- a fist in the ribs.

"Well... anyway... it would be nice... if you could get married here... as you happen to have to get married." Tommy continued, eyeing them with intent, a veiled… evilness. It wasn't that he didn't like Jane, because he did. He just didn't like that his sister was going to get again into troubles because of the man.

"I think we'll take this in consideration, don't we, Reese? We don't know what we exactly want, also because we aren't agreeing on every single thing...like, church, or not? Religious or civil? But, anyway guys... thanks for the suggestion." as he said so, Teresa elbowed him in the ribs, and Andrew ("Father Andrew", Jane tried to remember) almost suffocated with his food. That his sister could even just contemplate the idea of getting married and not with a religious ceremony... the poor man seemed close to crying.

Uhm, a begging Lisbon seemed like something fun. He had never seen one, and he was pretty sure that nor Teresa or Tommy were the begging kind. Maybe James... actually, Jane thought smirking, even without psych powers he knew that James was going to begin few hours' time. His wife, to allow him to sleep in the same bed as she did.

"Actually Reese" Amanda said, terribly shy, in the worst interpretation of her life "we were thinking about... that you could get married here...well, tomorrow. Or... In the next few days anyway."

Tomorrow, thought Lisbon...tomorrow. No, she couldn't get married tomorrow. She wasn't ready. Hell, she didn't know if he was ready to get married to her... and if it was going to be worth it, in the end.

"Uhm, no, I don't think so. I mean, it's Annie's sweet sixteen, I'm sure that she'd like to have all the attention on her and..."

"Please Aunt Reese! I'm not some kind of obsessing MTV generation baby girl! Just, don't ask me to be your maid of honor, the flower girl, or to wear pink, lace or taffeta'... and we are cool."

"The fact is, Reese, that I would like to be the one marrying you" Andrew started, also shy, unsure of what he was doing. "And I never know when I'll leave or where I'll be sent the next time so... it would mean the world to me. I mean... maybe we'll not see each other again in another seven years or so, and... It'd hurt, were I not here to see you getting married."

"It would be very intimate and quiet. No bachelor and bachelorette parties, just a spoor of the moment thing, between us. You could even get married again in Sacramento if you wish..." Amanda tried to convince her, talking sweetly and with the light of happiness in her eyes.

"Maybe you could wear mum's dress. There should be no problem for the length, Am could just adjust it here and there... Mum was pregnant when she got married and, with all due respect, she was tiny bit more...full." James said, indicating, smirking, her breasts. James paused, and suddenly returned serious. "I wouldn't mind giving you away. It would be a reason to wear my uniform. For once." The look he sent his wife as he said the last two words made Jane understand that it wasn't just that Amanda was suggesting Teresa a simple wedding. It was probably another thing she and James didn't see eye to eye, the way she had gotten married, contrary to his wishes. He was sorry for Sam, because he feared that the union was doomed to end, sooner rather than later, and the girl had already lost a mother. Saying goodbye to another one would break her heart for sure.

Seeing her girl's dreams coming true, and knowing that it was all a lie to help Jane out, Teresa started to cry, and holding her "boyfriend's hand, she nodded her consent.

She didn't know he wasn't so sure any longer of their plan. Not when he saw how much they loved each other despite their differences, and how much that scam was going to break all of them.

Damn it. He had forgotten how it used to feel to have a family...

In the afternoon, immediately after brunch, Amanda dragged Teresa upstairs, in the guest room of the old family house, opening the wardrobe and taking the old dress-passed through generation after generation of women within the family. It had belonged to Teresa's mother, her grand-mother and her grand-grandmother before that. The first woman to wear it, her great-grandmother, had gotten married during the twenties, with a guy she had met on the ship from Ireland, and the imperial style and the pearls screamed of the time.

Teresa had always loved it. She had loved it since she had seen pictures from weddings in her family, and she had always wondered how it could fit both her grandmothers and her mother so well, and if she was going to be as beautiful as them during her wedding day. It was kind of sad that, during adulthood, she had forgot all about it, but she guessed it was because she had long before stopped thinking about getting married. There was always something in the way, her job, her career... and her feelings for Jane.

(Funny enough, when Greg proposed, she didn't even take in consideration for a second actually wearing that dress. It felt kind like... blasphemy.)

"Wow, aunt Reese, it's so cool that you are getting married with a vintage dress!" Annie said, looking at dress dreamily. Teresa felt like laughing. Her niece was so hard assed and though, but she could turn into all sugar when love and romance were mentioned, despite not wanting to admit it. "Ehy, can I wear the dress I took for prom last year? It's dark blue and knee length and all silky and soft..."

Yep, little Annie was definitely not as hard-assed as she claimed to be.

"Ooohhh... our Annie here is a real girl behind her thought exterior! Maybe she even has a boyfriend!" Amanda laughed, chuckling. In response, the teenager threw a pillow at her aunt, missing her. Maybe it wasn't a party in the real sense of the word... but it felt like one. And, Teresa feared, the only one she would get. She wasn't getting any younger, and this thing with Jane was destroying every chance of romance with any other man. It was time to face the truth: once divorced, she would be alone, condemned to be only a friend to the man she loved with all her heart.

"Amy, are we going to wear dresses too?" Sam asked, and her step-mother nodded, messing her hair a bit. From the light in her eyes, Teresa could see, hell, everyone could do that, that she loved the child like she was her own.

"Yes honey bee, we will. Actually, I think I'll wear the dress you and daddy gave me for my last birthday, the blue one, remember? You said you liked that... and maybe you could wear the marinarette dress, the one in the same blue as mine?"

"A marinarette dress? You'll look like Sailor Moon!" Annie exclaimed, making fun of the baby girl. But, unfortunately, Sam didn't get the joke, as she was too young and didn't know what the older girl was actually talking about...

"What's a sailor moon?" she asked, as Amy rolled her eyes in mocked exasperation. That family was crazy and a mess, but she loved them just like that.

"Ok, so..." she said as she helped Teresa putting on the dress, and looked at her with professional eye and mastery, even if she was a graphic designer and needlework was barely an hobby. "Let's try to follow a little the tradition, shall we? We have the something old, the dress."

"The flowers could be the something new, right?"

"Yes, Annie, they could, and in fact, you'll go to a florist first thing in the morning, I'll tell you what you'll have to ask for...or maybe we could place an order... but for what will be the something new..." she took from the bottom of the wardrobe a white, non-labeled box, and opening it, Amanda revealed a pair of shoes, high heeled, white, elegant and classy but yet simple... and just looking at them, Teresa knew that they would fit just like Cinderella's. "They are not your mum's, because her feet were slightly bigger than yours, but I thought that this something new would do. Now... the something borrowed...let's see, what can we give you... "

"Aunt Reese can have my earrings! Mum gave me a couple of silver diamonds studs for my birthday..." she said, as she run in her room just to return a couple of minutes later with the aforementioned jewels in a small red box, proudly showing them. Not because of the value of the items, but because she was glad she could do something for her aunt. "You'll rock aunt Reese!"

"And all that is missed is the something blue... and for that, I was thinking that maybe you could use this little thing here..." Underneath the bed, Amanda took a fancy shopper from some fancy boutique, and gave it to Teresa, smiling cheerfully and wickedly. "From me. My wedding gift." she winked maliciously. "let's say is for Patrick..."

Teresa smiled and opened the box, shaking her head. Her family was really something... they had already been thinking about everything. But what if she had said no? That had been something they hadn't taken into account. And yet, here they were... giving her wedding gifts.

"Oh my God, Am!" Teresa exclaimed, blushing like a schoolgirl. She was quite sure that even Annie would have been embarrassed by something like that.

It was soft, delicate, feminine and seductive lingerie in white silk and lace: a bra, corset-like, matching shorts and a pale blue lacy garter.

"Don't say a word and just accept it. Patrick will be thankful during your wedding night. Speaking of which..."

"No, no, and no, and no to any other question you may want to ask me." Teresa said, as Amanda started to work on the dress. She was quite lucky, even if Teresa's mother had been pregnant when she got married, with the same daughter who was now wearing the dress, she had been petite, so there wasn't as much to do as she had feared.

They spent the remaining time in silence, with Teresa crying. She felt like her mother, together with all the other female of the family, were watching over her, disappointed because she was tainting the memory of the dress with her actions, with her lies.

His favorite suite was already in the guest room, so it wasn't like he had a lot to do. There was only an option, sharing his time and space with the Lisbon brothers, and the wasn't so good.

Tommy hated him because of the lie-because he wasn't stupid, and he knew it was just that, like he knew that his sister really loved him.

James hated him, period.

And Andrew... poor Andrew seemed more scared than hateful. He didn't know if it was because of the stories Teresa may have told them, or because he wasn't a good Christian. But besides being a priest, a category Jane didn't appreciated too much, Andrew was all right. It was clear that he did his job because he believed in it, and he gave compassion instead of pity. The priest had often looked at the ring, but never with hate or pity. He was sorry, of course, but he didn't want to blame Jane, or God. He didn't believe it was all a master plan, the destiny or what else. Simply, his eyes told that bad things happened also to good people, and who was more good than a child?

God...Andrew liked him. The only brother who was supposed to hate him, and he loved him!

"So, Tommy... since this will be a private affair and the other Lisbon siblings are kind of busy during the wedding, would you like to be my best man?"

Tommy stood, and went directly in front of Jane, pointing a finger in his direction, almost in the eyes. "Do you know that Reese thought us to fire a weapon? I am telling you this just to let you know of what death you'll die if you dare to break her heart..."

Hearing the words, and seeing the look on Tommy's face, Jane swallowed a mouthful of saliva, looking at Tommy's retreating form with the tail between his legs.

No good. Definitely no good. It was a real pity... Tommy's daughter considered him the light of her life!

"I really don't know what to say, Patrick" Andrew said as he went to sit close to Jane on the white leather couch, eyes focused on his shoes. "I should say congratulations, but I feel like I would congratulate you over your family's death. Because, after all, isn't this how you met Reese, right?" he asked, and Jane nodded. It wasn't the only time he had thought about this, but he had learnt to let it go, to separate the pain and Red John from Teresa. He deserved a second chance, and he wanted to make it real... but he was scared. What if he lost her, what if she didn't feel as strongly and deeply as he did?

Besides...there was the fact that even if he was a better man than 10 years before, he still wasn't worthy of Teresa.

She deserved more. She deserved better.

"Patrick, please, don't listen to Tommy and James. They are young, and their memory is short. They don't remember how strong and fiery Teresa can be, but I do, and I know that you are probably the only one who could be her equal, compensate her, complete her." he paused, and patted the blonde on the shoulder. When he was already in the next room, he stopped, and turned to face Jane once again. "Welcome to the family, Patrick. I' am glad I am here to see you two getting married."

"And even if I don't believe as strongly as you all did... I am glad you'll be the one marrying us."

Andrew nodded, smiling at him. A Lisbon smile, that brightened everything and everyone.

Another piece of Jane's heart broke, melting like frozen ice. He had to do that, and yet, he didn't want to any longer. Breaking all their hearts, it was an atrocious thought, but he knew that it was exactly what was going to happen. Because they already loved him, in their unique kind of way... Annie and Sam, Amanda, Andrew- not that bad for being a priest- even James and Tommy, who were just scared that their beloved sister could get hurt.

Oh, how right they were.

But they didn't know he was already hurting as well.

Shaking his head, and taking a big breath, he silently left the house. He would be looking for the most expensive jewelry store in the whole city, and for the most expensive ring. So that Teresa could have at least that, once returned to reality.

Once he was gone for good.

When he returned to the bedroom after a trip in the bathroom to get changed in his pajama, Jane looked from the threshold at the bed with a mixture of anguish, cold sweat running on his body. It was a strange sensation for someone as controlled as he was, but... he kind of had his reasons.

There was just one bed. No couches. No armchairs. No chairs of any kind, actually. Not even carpets. Just the cold floor, and one bed, not even that big.

A bed where a jersey clad Lisbon was already sitting in, busy reading a crime novel.

"Cat got your tongue, Jane?" she asked after a while, not even bothering to lift her eyes from her book. Jane was still in the same position he had been for the last few minutes, in complete silence and motionless.

"There is just one bed..." he said like a petulant child.

She lifted her eyebrows and rolled her eyes, finally putting aside her book, huffing in annoyance with crossed arms. "No shit, Sherlock. What did you expect? That they put as in different rooms because we are getting married in half a day? Welcome to the twenty-first century, Mister Jane. And in case you didn't get it already... my family thinks we are sleeping together. Why should we be sleeping in different rooms just because we are going to make it legal something that is supposed to be already happening?"

"Yes, I know that, but... why does Amanda has to be so...modern? I mean...there's only one bed..."

"Jane, I've been fighting an headache for days, so, please, would you stop forcing me to repeat myself? Because I'm not in the mood for your games!"

"That's not a game, Lisbon. This is me, legitimately asking you where should I sleep!"

"Jane, I know this is new for you but... I think I should say something to you." she said, with emotion and emphasis, her voice low and sensual. He got closer and closer to her, finally brought back to reality from his stupor. "This is a bed, Jane, where people, normal people, usually sleeps in. So, either you came here and sleep in it... or you can take the floor."

"But I can't sleep with you!"

"Really, why? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any intention of taking advantage of you..."

"Aren't you scared that I could try to take advantage of you?" she lifted again her eyebrows, and in that moment, he had a sort of vision. He was kissing Lisbon's skin while she was asleep, and when she woke up and saw what he was up to... she had turned him into a white voice. "Right"

"Besides, I sleep on my side on the edge of the bed, so you'll have the majority of the space for yourself anyway." Taking a big breath and sighing, he gave up, joining her. She had already settled in her favorite position in the meanwhile, but had decided to face him. "See? Is it so terrible?"

He shook his head, smiling sleepy. Finding themselves in such a situation was strange, and yet...relaxing and peaceful. It was like it was meant to be.

Maybe, it was this fact that it made it all scary. It was the chance that it could be real-that they could make it real. Walking out... they both knew how hard it was going to be in any case. That was why they couldn't add feelings and reality to the equation. It had to stay that way, a business deal. Whatever they liked it or not.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

She asked him, noting how lost in his thoughts he was. But somehow... he wasn't sad. Jane was smiling. She sighed. She had been so sure he had been thinking about his late wife, about his first marriage...maybe she simply had to resign herself to the fact that there was no way to know what could go through that thick skull of his.

"I was thinking about... my first marriage" he said, smiling, almost laughing, turning on his side too to look at Teresa eye in the eye. "Do you remember when I told you about bailing Danny out of jail?" she nodded, not really knowing what was his point or what else. Had he lost his mind? Was he having cold feet? Did he prefer to return to Ireland then marrying her, did he felt like he was dishonoring his wows to Angela by doing this?

"I may have forgotten to mention that she bailed me out too."

She laughed, and he joined in.

"Yeah. My bachelor party went a bit out of hand... and I think that Danny had a fake ID to get to drink didn't help either."

She started to think, accessing that wing of her own memory palace dedicated to all things Jane. Something wasn't adding. Or maybe... "There's nothing on your record about that."

"Annie scared the hell out of that cop. I think he took pity on me. Decided that I was allowed a last hurrah, as to say." he paused, lost in his thoughts too. "I think there's no danger that you'll have to get me and Tommy in jail tomorrow morning."

"Tommy and James don't hate you. They are just kind of... overprotective. It's because they are the youngest ones... James and Tommy were just toddlers when our mother died. I am their mum, in their eyes. Andrew, instead, is just a couple of years younger than me... and his behavior towards you is the complete opposite of their own!"

Silence embraced them both, and again Jane seemed lost in his thoughts. Lisbon was about to ask him what was wrong, when he talked to her first. "I can't understand how someone could walk away from something as beautiful as this" he told her. He wondered if she understood what he exactly meant by that statement. He didn't want for her to think he was trying to lecture her on her life choices, or whatever.

"I don't know. Maybe it's because I didn't have a proper family growing up. My mother returned to Ireland soon after I was born, leaving me with just...my father. He never remarried, and I don't have any siblings-that I know of, at least."

Her heart clenched with sufferance for this man, this kind, good man, and as she took his hand in her own crying, she could see him. A boy who had suffered loneliness, turned into a family man. Patrick Jane worked long hours and loved money and spotlight, but she felt like she knew the real reason why he did so. It was because he loved his family too. Because he wanted only the best for his beloved ones. He had been a good, loving father, and a faithful husband to a woman he adored. His only mistake had been talking about Red John, and that was the result. He had lost it all, in the blink of an eye.

But... it was different, for her. Patrick Jane had decided to create a family with Angela, she, instead, had been forced to grown up when she was just a kid. It wasn't like she regretted her past. Because she didn't, she was glad that she had been of help, but once her brothers had been able to walk on their own legs, she felt like she owed to herself to try and live her life.

"Had I stayed... I would ended up being a mother for them full time, and Greg would have talked me into getting married a.s.a.p. and have an army of children-you told him yourself he is a breeder. And I wasn't ready yet. I had done my part. I felt like I needed to think about myself for once in my life."

"And now? Are you ready now, to be a wife, and maybe one day, a mother?" He asked, not knowing exactly why. Yes, he had thought about a future shared together, about dark-curled children, but it wasn't like it was possible, or she could take it into consideration... and yet, he had done it.

She didn't answer.

But for once, she curled into his side. And he let her. Gladly.

When he woke up the next morning, he felt shivers, her warmth long gone, the other side of the bed cold. He inhaled deeply, trying to impress at least her scent into her memory palace... the scent of his soon to be wife. Fake wife. Because it couldn't be real... not yet, at least, not with Red John still out there. But what if... what about one day? He wondered if it was possible. If she may want it, if maybe, just maybe...

"Hello, sleepy head!" a voice, way too cheerful for such an unholy hour of the morning, woke him up completely, and Jane jumped, screaming, in bed, like a terrorized little child.

"Tommy! What the hell!" he put an hand on his right wrist, trying to calm himself down, and looked around. In his half-asleep state, he had knew that Teresa wasn't there, and yet, it was like he was fully registering it just yet. "Where's Teresa?"

"Relax Goldilocks, Reese isn't getting cold feet. She just took her things and went to get ready for you wedding that will happen in the next...half an hour" he said, checking the time.

For the first time as he had been woken up, Jane realized that his best man was fully dressed, casually but yet classy, while he was still with his pajama... and hadn't showered yet. Apparently, a sleeping Lisbon in his arms had the power to make him sleep more than any pill ever had. Good to know. He could already see interesting developments in their shared future...

"25 minutes and counting..." Tommy said, as Jane grabbed a brand new suit, Calvin Klein, taken just for the occasion, just in case, and run towards the bathroom. "23 minutes..."

"Shut up, jerk!" Jane screamed from inside the locked room, opening the water to get it warm and washing his teeth while waiting.

"20 minutes... and every minute you pass answering to me, is a wasted minute! Do you want to have time to at least comb your hair?" he said, laughing. With every new word, Jane considered more and more his soon to be brother in law an adult brat. It would make for an interesting argument with Lisbon, telling her what a spoiled brat she had raised...

But instead, he decided to just grunt. He hated when people made fun of his hair. So what? He liked it in order. Just because he was a man it didn't mean they had to laugh at his back for this... but it didn't mean that because Tommy was a Brat Teresa had to pay the consequences, or his poor back. Sleeping on the floor or on the couch? Thanks, but no thanks. He wanted to sleep at her side as long as possible...

He took a quick shower not giving a damn about the soap in his eyes, then he shaved with his old fashioned razor, as quick as possible, careful enough to not get hurt in the process, then he took care of his hair. When he left the room, Tommy right before him with a dark tie and a white flower in his hands, he had less than 3 minutes left.

"Reese says that you hadn't had a tie in years. Do you still know how you are supposed to put it on?"

He took both items from Tommy's hands, calling him a jerk with just a meaningful look, - something that the other guy understood al too well- then, arranging both items, he walked downstairs, where the marriage was supposed to take place. It didn't look like the same place as the previous day. All the furniture was gone, and in front of the running fireplace, a small table, adorned with a white linen tablecloth, had turned into a makeshift altar, completed with a marriage license and registers. Before it, classic chairs, all the same- from the dining room where the Lisbon's used to eat in special occasions, and around them, flowers...all kind of possible flowers, with the exception of red roses. This simple thing made him chuckle, because it showed how much the family had done its best to give Teresa the wedding she deserved and has wished for since she was a child-whatever she wanted to admit such a girly thing or not.

"Ehy man, you all right?" Tommy asked him, a friendly hand on his shoulder, when he noticed that Jane had started to play with his wedding band. It wasn't out of fear or regret. It was simply... strange. Angela's wedding band had been there for over two decades, and now he was about to have it removed to have Teresa's, a ring that wasn't going to be permanent.

Yes, he felt a little guilty, but also... thrilled. And scared. He wondered if there was any chance of making it real. He wondered if he could be allowed to, he wondered, he wondered... many things, way too many. So many he couldn't even place them all in his mind.

Tommy turned on the speakers of a mp3 player, the notes of "here comes the bride" filling the room and his heart to the point of tears and he turned in direction of the stairs, waiting for Teresa to join them. He wanted this, he realized, all of this, and yet... he didn't know if he was allowed to. Not with everything he had done and caused. Not with Red John still out there. And not when he wasn't so sure how deep Teresa's feelings for him were running. Suddenly it felt a bit wrong, and he even considered getting cold feet, finding an excuse, but then, in the back of the room, he saw him, grinning satisfied, waving at him like they were children, or old friends. Gilbertson, sat comfortably at Amanda, Sam and Annie's side, like he belonged there. He stared at him for a long while, both men eye in the eye, like they battling, and Jane clenched and unclenched his fists at his sides. Somehow, Andrew saw through his distress, and decided to join in the silent conversation, suddenly feeling guilty and nervous.

"I hope you don't mind, but your friend called yesterday to know how you were doing, and when I told him about the wedding, he insisted in dropping by... I thought it would have been nice for you two to have someone from your home here..." he paused, looking at his feet. "I'm sorry if my assumption caused you any trouble."

Jane simply shook his head, trying to calm himself down, but he could see that even Tommy was nervous. The younger man had understood who the man was, and he didn't like it. He wasn't mad, but... well, he was nervous. And it was bad to say it, but it was good to know that he was worried about all of them both, and not just Lisbon.

And then...he saw her, and when their eyes met, he wondered if he had died and gone to Haven without knowing it, he called himself a lucky bastard, and asked himself if he could really go through this, risking causing them both heartache...

Never letting it go of James' arm, not caring about the high heels and Gilbertson's presence, Teresa walked towards him, a vision in white. She looked like a diva from the twenties, just perfect, some holy apparition. The long dress fell on the floor with soft waves, the lack of sleeves showed her strong, and yet still feminine, arms, and the neckline was deep enough to show off her cross-the only jewel besides Annie's earrings- but not too deep to be scandalous. The color, more than for her skin, did wonder for her hair, falling free on her shoulders and her back, glossy and curly just like he loved them the most, and for her eyes, the most shining emeralds he had ever seen. The bride blush-a classic, but he guessed she was allowed to be shy and affected on her wedding day, despite being it all half fake- suited her too, but what made him smile and cry at the same time was seeing her flowers... Hydragenas. Those were the flowers she had chosen. The first flower he had given her.

He sniffed, his heart clenching. It was wrong, so, so wrong. He couldn't do that to Lisbon. He couldn't ask her to wait for him. Couldn't ask her to renounce to the chance of finding true love. Couldn't doom her to turning into a widow once he and Red John would meet. It was too wrong. And he couldn't ask her to do so many sacrifices, and more, just because of his damn revenge. He couldn't do that to her. And he couldn't break the hearts of her family, people who already loved him, or that at least were trying to, in Teresa's name. He rather preferred breaking them now, and risking Red John trying to end the game with him once and for all, then seeing them suffer ten times more in the future.

Still unaware of his predicament, she joined him, and she took his hands in her own, her eyes shining, focused on their joined hands, something he couldn't help but stare at too.

"Patrick?" Andrew called for him as he noticed the shadow of doubt, the Bible firmly in his trembling hands. At his side, Lisbon was trembling, cold sweat on her body, already aware of his intentions, but unable to understand his motives, or maybe, simply misreading them. He simply shook his head, and then, he cupped her face, leaving a lingering kiss on the corner of her mouth.

His forehead against her own, he silently cried, and his tears wet her face like they were her own. "I'm sorry, Teresa, but I can't. You deserve... more than me. More than this. You... and all your family." he kissed her once again, a butterfly kiss on her forehead, than, once put something in her closed fist, he turned, and walked towards Gilbertson.

"I'll grab my bag, then I'll leave with you on my own accord and I'll return to Ireland, but you need to promise me that you'll let her stay. She didn't do anything wrong" She just loves me he almost said, but he didn't. His eyes were focused on Gilbertson, smiling triumphant like the cat that got the canary. Jane lowered his gaze, his voice, defeated by his "enemy" and life as well, a man lost in the spirit, where it counted the most. "Please."

"Very well, I think it can be arranged. After all, Miss Lisbon here has simply been abandoned at the altar, and you are willingly returning on your own accord in your mother country to lick your wounds in private...usual boring stuff, nothing too compromising." And saying so, they both left.

At the makeshift altar, Teresa threw the flowers on the ground, and then escaped in the opposite direction of the two men. For once in her life, she didn't want to be strong and an adult, and she cried, and cried and cried as she held like for dear life the small object in her hand.

No one followed her yet. They were too busy trying to understand what had just happened. All of them but Tommy.

But even her little Brother knew that there was more than it met the eyes between the senior agent in charge and her consultant. More than he believed possible. More than they believed.

It just couldn't be over just like that. He couldn't allow to.

He run after his sister.

It was well an hour and an half later when Tommy finally found Teresa, half frozen to death with the flimsy dress in the chilly afternoon. There was a reason Chicago was called the wind city, and in that moment, it was making honor to its nickname.

"Reese?" he said, a little sad, as he got closer and closer to his sister, moving slowly and carefully like she was a frightened animal that could escape at any given moment.

She simply sniffed, hugging herself to warm her tiny body, but it didn't look like she was seeing him. Or maybe, she simply didn't want to acknowledge his presence. Maybe it still hurt too much, and seeing him there remembered her of what had happened, but mostly, of what had not happened that day.

"Oh, Reese..." Tommy whispered, dropping his dark jacket over her shoulders, sitting at her side. He inhaled deeply, lost in thoughts. Not just for all the happenings of the last few days, starting with Gilbertson's call, but also because of the meaning of the place they were currently in.

He wondered why he hadn't thought about it before, preferring to run knocking at the doors of every person she still knew around, even asking to people she hadn't seen since she had moved out at 21. And yet, here she was, sitting on a swing in the same park where she used to hide when they were kids, after their mum had passed away and their home had suddenly turned in merely an house, just a building, filled with good memories and a monstrous present, void of love if not what the siblings felt for each other. That park was the place where she used to go when their father was too passed away to care, or was so drunk he didn't want to remember he was supposed to love and protect his children. Sometimes, she had even send them there on their own, just to come back later to retrieve her siblings, hiding bruises with her clothes, make-up and her long, dark hair.

"Reese.." he repeated once again, holding his sister, his chin resting on her hair. It seemed like this action awoke her, and she stilled, rigid, like she was ashamed of what her brother had just seen. It was like a Pavlovian response, she just couldn't allow people to see that, behind her hard-assed cop exterior, she was still a frightened little girl, fragile, with emotions running deep in her soul.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I am crying like that... I mean...it's silly, right? Jane had always been clear about the fact that... that he didn't love me. So I don't know why..." she sniffed once again, drying her tears with her closed hand, leaving a wet trail of mascara on her face. Tommy smiled a little, seeing such a scenery. It was so... strange, seeing Teresa crying, seeing how human she was. It was disorienting, somehow. But, as with a wet cloth he cleaned her, he felt somehow...relieved. He remembered all the times she had kissed better an injured knee, after having cleaned it, and knowing that he was finally having the chance of paying her back made his heart clench and explode at the same time. He felt just like he did when he used to kiss Annie better, an adult. It was so strange, and yet, it was right. Because sometimes, Teresa needed to behave like the girl she had never. She had been a protector her whole life, now it was her turn to be taken care of.

Both by her brothers...and Patrick Jane.

"Reese... it's because he loves you that he left. Can't you see that?" as the words left his mouth she looked at her brother, astonished, in complete silence, open-mouth. "Reese... he loves you, and he wants only the best for you. And if I got anything right about this guy... he fears that he isn't worthy you."

Just like that, hit by his words and the truth behind them, Teresa froze, and suddenly... she stood, erupting like a volcano in her blinding rage.

"THAT DAMN IDIOT!" She screamed on top of her lungs "I can't believe that... I finally decide that it's right to indulge in...in that thing and that I want to give him a chance, that I want to make it real, and what does he do? He runs! Abandoning me on the altar, that... damn selfish idiot! The… the jerk! Does he ask me what I actually want, uh? No, he doesn't! Oh, but if he thinks that I am going to let him live this one... he is wrong!"

She took off, walking with decision in the same direction where Tommy had come from, stopping to look for him when she realized he wasn't following her. "Well? What are you waiting for, a formal invitation? I can't drive to the airport on my own with these heels!"

Tommy grinned, jumping on his feet, and while he run toward his sister, he threw her his cellular. And Lisbon, like the good athlete she was, she took it without making it fall. "Call the others and tell them to wait. Whatever it takes, today you are getting married to that guy!"

"Mister Jane, you are doing the right thing, trust me." Jane and Gilbertson were waiting for their flight to be called, after they had done their check-in, and they couldn't be in more different states of mind. Gilbertson was relaxed, proud of himself in a snaky kind of way, and was reading a newspaper like he hadn't just destroyed...

Right. What had he destroyed, exactly? His chance at happiness? His second shot at love? Sure. But what about Lisbon? She was better off this way, he didn't even have to ask. And yet... well, he was a selfish man, there was nothing new there, but he had hoped, had been sure, for a fraction of second, when their eyes had met while she was walking towards him, ready for her at the altar, that...

He thought he had seen love. He had seen a future, but was it going to be worth it? He didn't know for sure.

"Mr. Jane, I don't see why you should worry. In few months' time, you'll be able to ask for a new VISA. I'm sure the Central Government will understand" he laughed behind his teeth, while Jane removed the tie and looked at it. He had forgotten it wasn't his. He wondered what he was going to do with it. Mail it back to Tommy? Keep it as a reminder?

He knew that he would never get rid of the flower...because it smelled just like Lisbon did when she had joined him at the altar. It would be a reminder of things that would never be. Of how much he had screwed up everything in his life.

"...I don't even understand why you allowed your VISA to expire, if it was that important to you. Or why this whole charade" Gilbertson closed the newspaper, throwing it away on the chair next to his like nothing, and then turned toward Jane, eying him conspiranciously. "C'mon, you can tell me now. I'll not put it in the report..."

"I think I wanted to spare her." he admitted, lost in his thoughts, eyes focused on the void, and the nothingness that his life had suddenly turned into. "Unconsciously. I wanted to save both of us from heartache. I just wanted to stop loving her but... she is so damn stubborn! The more I tried to keep her at arm's length, the closer she got. And... I couldn't allow me to love her. Because... if I admit that I love her, and then I lost her... no man can live through this twice."

"So...you wanted to leave because you loved her but you didn't want to, but you couldn't leave, so you wanted to marry her just to leave her afterwards?" Jane nodded, with a quick movement of his shoulders. "It doesn't make a lot of sense."

"We didn't make a lot sense either, but somehow...we worked." he smiled of a sad smile, and in that moment he heard his flight being called. In silence, he lifted his duffel bag from the floor, and saw, from the semi-opened fly, a notebook, green. He absently took it, watching at the simple item with tears shining in his eyes, tears that become sobs as soon as he red what was written on the first page, in her elegant writing.

I know you. Teresa

"Mr. Jane?" Gilbertson called for him, but Jane was frozen on the spot, focused on those 3 words and their meaning, and yet again he questioned his motives. "Mr. Jane, please..."

But there was not a lot he could do, so he simply followed Gilbertson's instructions, and made his way toward the gate. He didn't know what he was going to do. He didn't know if he could return now. He wasn't sure he actually wanted to. Look at her falling in love, getting married? Thanks, but no thanks. As self-lesionist as he was, it wasn't that big. There was a limit, and beyond that, there was no survival.

"JANE!" God, she was everywhere. He couldn't stop thinking about her. He kept seeing her everywhere, in her wedding dress, he could listen to her voice, looking at her, fuming because he had made a mistake..."JANE! YOU PAIN IN THE ASS, YOU COME HERE IMMEDIATELY!"

And when he turned... she was there. Only, it wasn't a fragment of his imagination. It was her. She was there. His beautiful angry princess.

"Oh no..." Gilbertson gulped, scared as he had never been before. "Mr. Jane, please, I'd advise you to come here with me..."

But Jane wasn't listening to him. He was already in front of Lisbon, on both sides of the check-in. "You are here" he said, dreamily, almost astonished. God, how was it possible that he was beautiful now than few hours before?

"Of course I did, you idiot. You can't look after yourself, and if you were on your own out there, I'd die of worries. You know, I remember how you were ten years ago. Let's be honest here for a second, Jane. The only reason you are alive? That you allowed yourself to survive all these years? It's because of me! I took care of you for ten years, Jane. I helped you out. Got into troubles for you. Risked my life. Sent my career to hell and back...I alienated everyone, Jane. My bosses, my coworkers, my family, every man that I could have dated...and why? Because of you! I gave, and gave, and gave, and you took it all, and you know what? I am sick and tired of this, so god help me, now you drag your ass here and you marry me, because it's your time to give and mine to take!"

He looked at her, so full of love, but he kept getting closer and closer, never breaking eye contact, and all the while she was doing the same.

"I'm dangerous..." he said, not daring to admit what he was actually thinking. God, you are so sexy when you are mad...

"I'm a cop, Jane, and I raised those three. I can handle dangerous."

"I'll only give you troubles...with me at your side, your career..."

"I knew what it was going to happen the day I talked Minelli into hiring you, but I did anyway...because..."

"Because...? Why, Teresa? Tell me. Tell me this time..." he looked at her smiling. He knew what she was talking about, he remembered well that time they were blocked into a shipping container in Mexico, with no apparent way out.

"Because you needed to be protected, cared for...saved. And I wanted to be the one doing it." She paused, now just a step between them, smiling, offering him her left hand. "Because I think I already loved you."

"Well... I told you that I was always going to save you, right?" he took the next, last step, crossing the line and getting so close to her their foreheads were touching as they were eye in the eye. "How could I do that, if I weren't there?"

He took a step closer to kiss her, finally, but she stopped him, with two fingers on his lips. "I told you what I was going to confess that day, when we weren't sure there was any way out. Now, I want you to tell me what you wanted to confess when I had that bomb stripped on my chest..."

"You are the only one I could imagine moving on with my life with" he simply told her, smiling, as happy as he had never been before, a smile contagious that made her shining in her beautiful glory, like a pagan goddess. "Because how could I not love someone who loved me at my worst, despite seeing my worst side? Someone as beautiful, as caring as you are?"

She shook her head, and finally, as he closed the distance between them, with one last step, she put her arms around his neck, and got lost in an Hollywood like kiss, earth-shattering, melting, like she had never experienced before. The most perfect kiss of them all.

But never as perfect as the ones she experienced every day after that first one.

One year later...

Lisbon left the black Jaguar, yet another one from Jane's vintage collection, and straitened her dress, the vintage wedding gown that had belonged to 3 generations of women from her family before her. It was a sunny, late spring day in Sacramento, and her church seemed even more beautiful and peaceful than it usually did.

"You ok, boss?" Van Pelt asked her, already in position at Tommy's side. The woman nodded, and took position too, at James' arm.

Her baby brother was really beautiful with his uniform, and he made her so proud that she felt like crying. She even kept forgetting about the fact that she was supposed to be self-conscious about the think pink line around her neck, a reminder that Red John, in his final moments, had tried to take her away from Jane too. But the killer had been the only one gone for good that day, probably because he had forgotten what it meant working as a team. He didn't have allies, just minions. And those ones, once understood what he truly was, and what he was ready to sacrifice to be free, they had been easily turned.

And now, here they were, just like Jane had promised her that day in Chicago. A real wedding, in her church in Sacramento, with friends, families and coworkers, and even people they had helped out along the way. They were all there, for just the two of them.

And when she walked in the church, their eyes, and she saw all his love. She saw that everything was going to be all right, and she forgot about everything. She didn't care about the flowers, the church, Andrew, the orchestra... all that it mattered, was the two of them, and their love. After all, if they had overcame all these obstacles, it was supposed to be enough. And it was the only thing that mattered.

That... and the reason Am had to work yet again on the dress. Because now it fitted just like it did her mother. Now, that she had a tiny life growing inside of her... their child.