I felt like using a new title as I want to write now about a new beginning for Jane, but this is a sequel to the story "Red John's Diary". Set somewhere after 6 x 16 or 6 x 17. Jisbon.

It took another hour to Lisbon to reach the end of the Red John's diary. Hugely relieved that there was nothing concerning the murder of Charlotte and Angela, apart from the two pages apparently torn off by Mc Allister, Lisbon closed the notebook and rested her head on the back of the couch, closing her eyes.

When she opened them, the morning sun was bathing her living room. Everything seemed to have been a dream: Rosalind giving her the diary, the many things she had read in there, the incredible revelation that Red John had planned to kill Jane's family long before the fatal broadcast. But the notebook on her lap was the proof that everything was true.

Her first move was to try to call Jane, but his phone was turned off. She hoped he was all right. The case he was investigating was about a missing little girl, whose stepfather was working at the pentagon. Cases involving children were tough, especially for Jane.

It was nearly time for her to be at work. After a quick shower and two cups of coffee, Lisbon made her way to the FBI office.

She didn't expect Jane, Cho and Fisher to be back before the beginning of the afternoon, but the first thing she heard when she entered in the bullpen was Kim's angry voice, coming from Abbott's office. She sighed.

"What has he done this time ?", she asked Cho, who was already at his desk.

"Same as usual", the Asian man answered. "Last afternoon he gave us the slip to confront a suspect by himself. We located him thanks to his phone, but we had a car breakdown and ended up on foot, running like crazy. We found him at the end of a gun, with his feet nearly over the edge of a cliff, as the murderer wanted to make his death look like an accident. The suspect is dead, his confession on a tape. Fisher was so mad she refused to stay in a motel as planned and made us drive all night. She ordered Jane to follow us with his airstream. He hasn't shown up yet, but I phoned him and he said he would be in the FBI parking lot in half an hour. He must be there soon now."

"It was very close, Lisbon", added Cho after a pause. "This time I really thought that we wouldn't make it."

Lisbon felt as if an icy claw had closed around her heart. How many times would she feel that retrospective terror ? What if Cho and Fisher hadn't made it in time ? Jane would have died. He would have died still thinking he was responsible for the death of his family. She took a deep breath to calm down.

"Cho", she said, "there is something I have to tell Jane. Something so important I think I will take my morning off, and so will Jane, probably."

"What about your lunch ? Weren't you supposed to eat with Pike ? I heard him asking you yesterday."

Lisbon realized that since her visit to Rosalind on the previous afternoon, she hadn't think about Pike even once. But she immediately dismissed that thought. It was still not the moment to think about Pike.

"I'll phone him later to explain", she said.

At that moment, Fisher came out of Abbott's office, obviously still fuming.

"Kim", said Lisbon, "I must talk to Jane as soon as he's arrived, it's a very important matter."

"I can't see how it could be more important than his complete disregard for any kind of discipline, for his team, and for his own life", said Fisher, her voice more high pitched than is usually was. "Abbott is the one he must see as soon as he arrives."

"Believe me, no kind of lecture will do any good", sighed Lisbon. "Especially from anyone supposed to be an authority figure. Let me talk to him about this too."

"As you wish", said Fisher a little peevishly. "After all, it's the reason why we took you in here in the first place."

Cho's brow creased slightly, a sign that he was not in the least pleased with Kim's last retort. Lisbon put an appeasing hand on his arms. She suspected that there was a good part of retrospective fear in Kim's anger. She could recognize a kind of kinship with her own feelings any time Jane had pull that kind of stunt when she was in charge.

With a wistful smile to Cho, she took the direction of the parking lot.

The airstream was there. With a strange mix of anger at the thought of Jane's last craziness and of impatience to tell him about the diary, she knocked at the door.

Jane opened the door, unshaved, disheveled, but in spite of it nothing less than handsome, as usual. Obviously he's just arrived. He cast her that half sheepish, had defiant look he had sometimes when he knew she was about to admonish him.

"Lisbon. To what do I owe this visit ?" The tone and the smile were teasing, but he was slightly fidgeting with his fingers. He obviously assumed that he was in trouble.

And obviously, he should have been. But now she was facing him, the overwhelming emotion she felt at the idea of revealing him what she knew didn't leave any room for anger.

Still, she couldn't let pass that new evidence of how little he cared for his own life. She had to begin with that.

"Fisher told me about yesterday", she said. "How could you do such a thing ?"

The softness of her tone seemed to surprise him. He shrugged and answered in typical fashion:

"It was the only way to have the bastard confess what he had done. He had suggested to his stepdaughter to swim in a very dangerous place, to have her mother all for himself, Lisbon. There was no proof at all that it was not an accident, and as the man was a bigwig…"

With a sudden wave of compassion, Lisbon realized how much that case had upset him. Had he seen the insane risks he had taken as a way to make amend, once again, for his own daughter's death ? This pattern of thought was to be stopped for good.

"You can't go on like this, Jane. One more criminal arrested or dead isn't worth your life. You said once you'd always save me. Can't you imagine what I'd feel if you died ? Didn't I tell you that many times ?"

"It's different now", he said, his back to her, so low that she wondered if she had heard him correctly.

"What did you say ?"

He turned toward her, gently smiling, his mask firmly in place.

"You'd get over it. You're not alone anymore."

It took a few seconds to Lisbon to understand who he was talking about. Pike ? Would Jane consider her relationship with Pike as a signal he didn't have to take care of his own life for her anymore ? Did he imagine that having Pike in her life could in any way make his death less unbearable to her ? For it would not, not in the least. The sudden realization of that made her feel the urge to make it clear for Jane as well.

"You mean Pike ? Can you imagine that his presence could ever make up for your loss? I just dated him a couple of times. He means no more for me than, say, Mashburn."

She saw the mask fell a bit, and she thought she could read in his eyes a mix of relief, of guilt for feeling relieved, and, above all, a deep tenderness that made her heart beat faster.

"Besides", she added, "I want you to value your life for itself, not just because of me. Why would you give up on your life now, when you've achieved your goal ?"

His eyes were sad again. "Do you remember that woman who had killed the dealer who was responsible for her daughter's death ?" he whispered. "She was right, you know. I had to stop Red John, I don't regret what I did… But I don't feel better for that either."

Lisbon felt tears in her eyes at that rare and heartbreaking outburst of honesty. Reaching out, she took his hand in hers and motioned him toward the couch. The words hardly finding their way through her tightened throat, she managed to say:

"But yesterday I learnt something… something that may cause you pain, but that in time, I hope, will make you feel better. Sit down and listen."

TBC

What do you think ? Please review !