Now this could have potential thanks for the read

Good one!

"A frail needy love because it was unmated and malnourished..." Lovely imagery. Frankly, given how obvious their connection and love are, the point of holding each other at bay became more and more strained as a plot device. They were a couple in every way but bed. Any why would that deter Red John? Good piece. More realistic than the show. Thank you.

So beautiful. Loved how described Lisbon's love as a caged bird. So going to my favorites.

Another intense emotional ride at your hands. I'm running out of things to say without repeating myself, except for this: I'll return later for more of your stories ;)
Honestly, ever scenario you draw is vivid and inspired, and you always maintain the empathy to have People stay in character. And I absolutely love the way you deal with the sexual content, because despite graphic descriptions it always feels emotional/romantic (as opposed to purely pornographic). Congrats!

There's some beautiful writing here, especially the five paragraphs describing the caged beast that is Lisbon's love. Also, you have captured the manner in which they speak to each other on the show. It is very in character and believable. In fact, I wish the writers had the balls to write a scene like this. It's the logical result of everything that has happened between them, and this is exactly the way Lisbon would confront Jane: demanding the truth. And breaking into tears is the only way Jane could respond. We've never seen him cry on the series-only come close to tears. As guarded and repressed as they both are, they are people of tremendous depth of feeling for each other. The scene is very moving, even, oddly, the references to the wet dream and the masturbation, which of course would never be shown on the show and might not work dramatically. It does work in fiction, however, and is a very daring end to the scene.
I am really looking forward to the next chapter (unless it's a one-shot-I hope not.)

I just realized that this is a one shot, but bravo!
Consider developing it further. :)

love your stories

I really liked this story, so intense and well written.

Very Good Start... Please continue

So true, so sad, so painfully beautilful!

I shall make no real comment except to say that I don't often find myself in floods of tears at seven thirty on a Tuesday morning. I had to take my time in reading this extraordinary piece in order to drink in and live the beautiful, insightful imagery of the language you use to convey the complex intensity of what are in essence such simple human emotions.

Thankyou!

Hey Nicki! Told ya! Couldn't keep your fingers off that sexy keyboard, eh?!
No, seriously now - and I don't try to suck up to you, but I just love the language, the emotions, the understanding, the analogies and the depth of their feelings for each other that you put into this story. Oh boy, imagine to be in this situation...holy crapparoly (or 'ay carramba' as you put it :-))!) Something else I noticed with your stories as well is, that I can totally hear and see the characters - visualize them, so to speak. I can literally feel Lisbon's anxiety, that caged animal in there. And Jane's fear to acknowledge anything at all that has to do with feelings for Lisbon. His relieve, when he's finally able to let the pain out in form of a whole flood of tears. And of course her want, need, lust for him. (Not so sure about his for her - I'm not a man, but I guess it's quite powerful as well *snicker*). It doesn't always happen with other people's stories. Hats off to you!
Oh man, Robin and Simon would be awesome in this scene! Imagine they would actually film this - exactly like that! I would seriously injure my finger from pushing the replay button! ROFLMHO
Now my dear Entwife, have a good rest and comb your brain for the next awesome story! I'll read it for sure. (Kind of got used to these evening reads now - don't let me hang... no pressure intended *wink, wink*)
Angie
p.s. thank you very much for replying to my silly posts. Do not feel obligated though, ok? I'm sure you're very busy. I won't be offended.

Very intense! good job

Wow - strong pictures to express overwhelming emotions! Angsty and intense and very touching. And though you made them stop before things could get out of hand, it sure as hell painted the picture of how things would've turned out and hopefully will be after RJ's demise vividly: Such intensity can only culminate in VERY passionate love-making. So this was certainly the perfect prelude to your 'usual' M-rated symphonies... ;-)
(and hell if you didn't add yet another notch to the already unbearable sexual tension between those two... now I can just hope that I'm able to tease you into granting us all some relief again...)