Author has written 32 stories for Bleach, Aliens/Predator, Fire Emblem, Dragon Ball Z, Soul Eater, Pokémon, F.E.A.R., Naruto, Fullmetal Alchemist, Teen Titans, Angel Beats!/エンジェルビーツ, Legend of Zelda, Attack on Titan/進撃の巨人, Loud House, Star Vs. The Forces of Evil, My Little Pony, and Digimon. I have returned. That is all. *beat* Name: Daniel Age: 22 (and single ;D) Gender: Boy have a twin. Can you guess who.(Hint, he's a member on here) Siblings: The Unknown Twinkie (twin), and lilpurplebird (sister, my reason Im here) For my YouTube and Deviantart Account click here: http://www.youtube.com/user/alttany Favorite Quotes: How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. I thought the government ran the government. -Sergeant Daniel (me) Destruction can be reversible. Destruction to the mind is irreversible.-Sergeant Daniel (me) A person who thinks so little of their country military doesn't deserve a country to call their own.-Sergeant Daniel (me) If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under. If the Soviet Union let another political party come into existence, they would still be a one-party state, because everybody would join the other party. Man is not free unless government is limited. No government ever voluntarily reduces itself in size. Government programs, once launched, never disappear. Actually, a government bureau is the nearest thing to eternal life we'll ever see on this earth! One way to make sure crime doesn't pay would be to let the government run it. The problem is not that people are taxed too little, the problem is that government spends too much. We are never defeated unless we give up on God. We have the duty to protect the life of an unborn child. We should measure welfare's success by how many people leave welfare, not by how many are added. We're in greater danger today than we were the day after Pearl Harbor. Our military is absolutely incapable of defending this country. Without God, democracy will not and cannot long endure. The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. -Edmund Burke A house divided against itself cannot stand. Allow the president to invade a neighboring nation, whenever he shall deem it necessary to repel an invasion, and you allow him to do so whenever he may choose to say he deems it necessary for such a purpose - and you allow him to make war at pleasure. America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm. Don't interfere with anything in the Constitution. That must be maintained, for it is the only safeguard of our liberties. Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth. I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts. The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money. The greatness of America lies not in being more enlightened than any other nation, but rather in her ability to repair her faults. Are we a Christian nation now? It's doubtful. But did we start out as one? Without question. I cite in my book countless examples of the foundational documents of the colonial period in America and the writings of the leaders, that this was intended to be a Christian nation. Well, you know, Thomas Jefferson, who was the author of the Declaration of Independence said he wouldn't have any atheists in his cabinet because atheists wouldn't swear an oath to God. That was Jefferson and we have never had any Muslims in the cabinet. The Ten Commandments are the most visible symbol because these commandments are recognized by Christians and Jews alike as being the foundation of our system of public morality. It doesn't say anywhere in the Constitution this idea of the separation of church and state. Every citizen should be a soldier. This was the case with the Greeks and Romans, and must be that of every free state. Liberty cannot be preserved without general knowledge among the people. Power always thinks... that it is doing God's service when it is violating all his laws. Give me liberty or give me death. If this be treason, make the most of it! The constitution vests the power of declaring war in Congress; therefore no offensive expedition of importance can be undertaken until after they shall have deliberated upon the subject and authorized such a measure. Buy me a jester costume and I'll wear it everyday.-Sergeant Daniel (me) All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move. God helps those who help themselves. Having been poor is no shame, but being ashamed of it, is. He does not possess wealth; it possesses him. Freedom lies in being bold. If you don't know how great this country is, I know someone who does; Russia. You have freedom when you're easy in your harness. I belive we (America) can change. It just wither or not we have the desire to change.-Sergeant Daniel (me) Governor, why wouldn't anyone want to say the Pledge of Allegiance, For time and the world do not stand still. Change is the law of life. Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans—born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace . . . Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.John F. About Me: Right now I'm trying to make my stories. Note: Most of my stories will be about Ichigo and Rukia. But that won't stop me, from writing other stories for other things. Nicknames people would call me: Birdman, Bird-Dissease, Bird, DAB, and Birdy.(Not joking, no really) Favorite Anime/T.V. Shows (in order) 1. Star Vs The Forces of Evil (This show pawns all!) Soul Eater (new anime and manga that I got into during my banment) Higurashi, (this is a great and suspensful manga/anime that I'm now into,) All Out! (This anime is so cool and manly!) My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (EPIC!,) One Piece (is so awesome!,) Fullmetal Alchemist (another awesome anime/manga,) Azumanga Diaoh (This is so cool and funny I love it,) Angel Beats! (this is so awesome) Black Blood Brothers (The anime is very good. even though short) Dance in the Vampire Bund (This is probably one of the best anime I have seen. The story is epic!) Neon Geneses Evangelion (This anime is by far one of my favorite) Attack on Titan (This is really interesting.) 2. Yu-gi-oh 3.Naruto 4.Pokemon 5. Digimon Favorite Bleach Parings:These I support 100 percent IchiRuki (They go together and NO one else suckers or unless Rukia or Ichigo dies) IshidaOrime IchiHana (incase for those who don't know this parring. It pretty muc Ichigo and the 4th division captain. I got into this parring when I was looking at what female charater I could pair Ichigo with:D) Ichiyuki (this is ichigo and Sode no Shirayuki. I got into it when I was woundering if there was any stories about them) IchiYach (this is ichigo and Yachiru. Once again got in to it when searching what girl could I pair up wit ichigo) KarinTorshio (I just think their cute together:D) YuzuChad (They look cute. Plus I want Chad to be part of Ichigo family He:P UrhaYouchi (Their made for each other) Theirs others but I can't think of them for right now. Bleach Parings I Hate RenRuki (Hate this:( IchiOrime (HATE this too:( ByukaRuki (Seriously WHO came up with this) IchiRen (Let just say I HATE ALL Gay shipping espicaly for Rukia) Star Vs The Forces of Evil Pairings I support Star and Marco (They make the best couple) One Piece Pairings I support LuffyxVivi Attack on Titan Parings that I support ErenxKrista/Historia (I love this couple so much) Naruto Parings I support (or do I O_o) NaruTen (my OTP) NaruIno NaruHina SaukuraLee Highschool of the Dead Pairing I support TakashixSaeko, (I can see these two getting together:D Soul Eater pairings I support SoulxMaka(they belong together and no one else:D KidxLiz and/or Crona Tsubakix Black-Star Fullmetal Alchemist I support EdwardxRiza (I just find this pairing cute and loveable.) Higurashi Pairings I love KiichixMion(you know they love each other.) F.E.A.R. Parings I love BecketXAlma(it's offical) Favorite Alvin and the Chipmunks Alvin/Brittany=alttany Simon/Jeanette=Simonette Theodore/Eleanor=Theanor Pokemon parings I support AshxMisty MewtwoxMew Ho-ohxMoltres Fire Emblem Parings I love (forgive spelling errors I can't spell for the life of me) IkeXLethe(come on you know they go together) RanulfXLyre MistXBoyed Smash Brothers Parings I love IkeXSamus (I think they are soo cute together) IkeXZelda MarthXPeach DragonBallZ Parings I love KrillinX18 GotenXBra TrunksXPan VegetaXBullma GokuXChi-Chi Activites I love Playing video games.(Favorite games: CoD:Black Ops, CoD:MW2, CoD:MW3, CoD: Black Ops 2, Dead Space, Dead Space 2, Dead Space 3, F.E.A.R, F.E.A.R.2, F.3.A.R, Metroid Prime, Metroid Prime 3:Croupption, Metroid: Other M, Legend of Zelda, Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of time, Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, Legend of Zelda: Minish Cap, Fire Emblem:Radient Dawn, Fire Emblem: Awakening, Star Wars Rouge Squadron 1, 2 and 3, Star wars: Shadow of the Empire, Pokemon:Stadium, Pokemon:Pulzzle Leage. There's more but I'm to lazy to think of them all.) Listening to music Computer Riding my bike Favorite Bands and/or songs Drowning Pool: Tear Away, let the bodies hit the floor Within Temptation:All I Need, Hand of Sorrow, Forgivin, Bittersweet Evanescence:Bring me to life, Everybodys Fool, Missing, Before the Dawn, imaginary, Breath No More, Field of Innocence, Anywhere Three Day Grace:Animal I have Become, Get out alive, never too late, I hate everything about you, now or never, break, riot When in Rome:The promise Falling Up:Bittersweet, Good morning planetarium, Broken Heart Weird Al:All Green-day:Wake me up when September ends Black-eyes peas:Boom Boom Pow, I've gotta felling Usher:Yeah Skillet:Whispers in the dark, monster, Looking for Angels, Hero, Rebirthing, Savior, Yours To Hold, Last Night, Say Goodbye Matthew Good Band:Weapon Canasca:Everytime we touch(Good song, especially for Ichigo and Rukia AMVs) Alvin and the Chipmunks:Christmas song, Shake Your Groove Thing Linkin Park:In The End, Papercut, Breaking the Habit Bullet for My Valentine:All Breaking Benjamin:Until the End, I will not Bow, follow me, Dance with the Devil, Dear Agony, So Cold, Into the Nothing, Hopeless, Give Me A Sign, What Lies Beneath 30 seconds to Mars:Hurricane, Capricorn, Fallen, This Is War, The Story Red:Breath Into Me, Already Over Guns and Roses:Sweet Child of Mine Powerman 5000:Drop the Bombshell OAR:Shattered Jeffree Star:Get Away With Murder Pain:Same old song 10 Years:Shoot it out, Scream at the Walls, Actions and Motive, Rest, Dead in the Water My Chemical Romance:The Ghost of you Mudvayne:not falling Staind:Outside, Me, Zoe Jane, Art of Dying:Alone Chevelle:Letter from a Thief, Send the Pain Bellow, Don't Fake This, Flaw:Final Cry, Hinder:Loaded and Alone, Dead by April: Sorry for Everything, Losing You 55 Escape: Forever Stand Alone: So Alone Burning Yesterday: Stay, Fear Thousand Foot Krutch: Courtesy Call I have others but I don't want to put them on right now. 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile. This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!Paste this to your profile if you can read this! 98 percent of the teenage of population would drop dead if Abercombie and Finch told them it wasn't cool to breath. Repost this in your profile if you are part of the 2 percent of the population that would live on laughing 92 percent of the teenage population has smoked, done drugs, drank alcohol, or done all three. Repost this if you are part of the 8 percent that hasn't If you're a die-hard IchiRuki lover for life copy and paste this into your profile- Ichiruki lovers unite! SPREAD LOVE THE ICHIRUKI WAY. If you believe that Ichigo and Rukia are meant for each other, paste this in your profile. If you believe that Black Sun is meant for White Moon, paste this in your profile. If you believe that Rukia belongs to Ichigo and Ichigo belongs to Rukia, paste this in your profile. If you believe that they are perfect for each other, paste this in your profile. If you believe that they love each other, paste this is your profile. If you do not believe in IchiHime, paste this in your profile. If you hate IchiHime, paste this in your profile. If you believe that IchiRuki shall prevail, paste this in your profile. IF YOU LOVE ICHIRUKI, PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE! ICHIRUKI IS LOVE. BITTER OR SWEET, IT SCREAMS: LOVE! Rules To Write ChipmunkFanfics: According to ChipmunkLover and Kitty Seville 1) They are brothers, nothing else. 2) They must always live with Dave. 3) They must always end up with the Chipettes. Alvin can hit on other girls, but he must end up with Brittany. 4) They cannot die. 5) They can have superpowers, but the color of the magic/ mystical zone has to be the same color as they're signature colors. 6) They can't die. 7) They can't be severly injured. 8) There cannot be any OCs. Only the Chipmunks, Dave, and the characters created by the Bagdasarians. 9) The Chipettes HAVE to live with Miss Miller. 10) If you kill them, thus violating numbers 4 and 6, you must bring them back. Also making it a horror story. 11) They can't be in horror stories. 12) You must have at least three jokes/gags in a chapter. 13) If you do a Chipmunk crossover, it must be with some other cartoon. Not live action. 14) If you have songs, they have to fit in the story. Not just be random. 15) The Chipmunks do not work for free. If you use them you must send Ross Bagdasarian 100 dollars by the end of the month, or else you'll die instantly. 16) Don't talk about the rules, don't tell people about the rules, don't even think about the rules. If you have ever broken or are planning to break any of these rules, then copy and paste them into your profile! You're a 90's kid if: You can finish this 'ice ice _" if you have ever laughed in a silent room because of something you heard yesterday CAPTIYP if you have ever asked a random obvious question CAPTIYP if you are obsessed with fan CATIYP if you are against abortion CAPTIYP if you ever wonder who started these copy and paste quotes CAPTIYP if you have ever ran into a door CAPTIYP if you wish 'someone' could be ran over by a bus CAPTIYP if this is the longest profile you have ever seen CAPTIYP if you think your profile is longer CAPTIYP Even if you can't see him GOD is there! If you belive in GOD CAPTIYP 98 of teenage population does or had tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't CAPTIYP My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, CAPTIYP If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said PULL or vice versa CAPTIYP The electric chair was invented by the dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, CAPTIYP If your profile is long copy and paste this in it to make it even longer My Name- What's yours? A=Hot B=Kind hearted C=Great friend D=Great lover E=Sexy F=Cute G=Cool H=Girly I=Imaginative J=Easy to fall in love with K=Loveable L=Funny M=Adorable N= Beautiful O=Loves a lot of people P=Friendly Q=Popular R=Talented S=Honey Bunny T=Memorable U=Gossiper V=Groovy W=Smiles alot X=Popular with boys Y=Voice of an angel Z=Natural beauty S=Honey Bunny E=Sexy R=Talented G=Cool E=Sexy A=Hot N=Beautiful T=Memorable D=Great Lover A=Hot N=Beautiful I=Imaginative E=Sexy L=Funny ==If you're not afraid to sing any HSM song out loud in any public place, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to this list: hsmgirl14, XxTinkyBlondieBellxX, Angel of the Starz, AlvinSevilleIsHOT, AndAllThatGoodStuff, BrittanySeville18, GettingLuckyWithYou, Sergeant Daniel, Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple,windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it, Kiba Obsessed Demonic Angel, Digital98, Yin's Crescent, Naruto713-17, halfdemongirl92, Black-Dranzer-1119, Riayu, SasuNaru RULES The World 4 EVA, AlvinSevilleIsHOT,captain chipmunk, BrittanySeville18, GettingLuckyWithYou, Sergeant Daniel, Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. ()() !!BUNNEH!! Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies) If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliché, Katie-3llen,Angelz on Edge, CloudyWind732984, strangeweirdo,KaLSaR! lol! AlvinNBrittney, Sergeant Daniel, You live in 2009 when... 1.) you accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) you haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3.) the reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have a screen name or a myspace. 4.) you'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the tv. 6.) your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) you read this list, & keep nodding and smiling. 8.) as you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) you actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5. 11.) and now you're laughing at your stupidity. 12.) Put this on your page if you got owned, and you know you did My OCs: Soul Eater; Kyousou Shi-Rudo(meister) Age: 15 Eye Color:blue Hair:brown. Hight: 5.6 wieght: 160 Family: Misaki and Masaki Life Background: Was born in Portland, Maine. Mother: Aikou Shi-Rudo(killed) Father: Daichi Shi-Rudo(killed) After his parent were murdered he began to live on the street at the age 5. Three years later he comes across an orphange in Portland. Every was killed inside the orphange except for two girls, Misaki (weapon) and her twin Masaki (weapon). The two girls went with Kyousou of fear that the killer would come back. They wondered the street moving from one city to another. At one point Kyousou viciously killed a man who was going to rape Misaki and Masaki. In Chicago they encounter a gang, it was at this point where Misaki and Masaki first turn into a weapon. Eventually they reach Death City where they try (and failed) to mug Soul and Maka. They were eventualy found by Stien and Spirit and enrolled in the DWMA. They countinue to live in Death City. Charater Background: Kyousou life has been filed with hardship. After his parents were killed, he been wandering the streets. Once he found Misaki and Masaki his life change. He became fond with the two girls as he made it his duty to take care of them. It's also hinted that Kyousou may have hiden feelings for Misaki. Misaki Tsukikage(weapon) Age: 15 (a month younger than Kyousou) Eye Color: Purple Hair Color: Orange Hight: 4.11 Family Masaki (twin) and Kyousou Weapon Forms: A chain sword, axe and a lance Soul Resonance form: a chain pole-axe Background: Lived in Portland Maine. Mother (unkown), father (unkown). Lived in Happy Children Orphange with her twin Masaki. Both she and Masaki witness the entire orphange being killed. She hid in a toy cupbord with her sister, during the massacure. She and Masaki was eventualy found by Kyousou. One day while Kyousou was out to steal food for both her and her sister, they were approached by a guy wanting to have his way with them. They were saved by Kyousou but were frighten from the dark signal that was coming from him. Masaki Tsukikage(weapon) Age: 15 Eye color: purple Hair color: Orange hight: 4.11 Family: Kyousou and Misaki (twin) Weapon Forms: A chain sword, an axe (can be fuse with Misaki to form a double bladed axe) and a lance Soul Resonance form: a chain pole-axe Background: My Stories: Up coming: Slowly Dying:When Soul and Maka gets severely wounded they use the Black Blood to Survive. A week later they woke up in the hospital, only to receive shocking news. SoMa-Maka’s Depression: Bleed: Maka is fighting against her love for Soul, which is making her go slowly insane. Will she surrender to her love or keep fighting. A broken heart shattered into millons of pieces: Soul comes home one night just to see Maka leave. A week later she has a new weapon. Will things ever get better or will something happen to Soul. A New Life: New Friends: 8 year old Soul moves to a new city with his family, where he becomes best friends with Tsubaki and Maka. Will life treat him better here than his old home? Locked in a Closet: Krillin gets locked in a closet. It doesn't gets simpler as that. Vegeta and the Gravity Room: What happens when Vegeta uses the Gravity Room for the first time. Spiralling Twilight Continued: Have permission to continue. Sorry it took to long to start writing part two of it. Current: Questions Awnsered but Unawnsered: Continued When tatsuki goes to pursue a matter with ichigo things go farther than she excpected...Warning:Loveydoveygooeystuff Multi-chap several pairings mainly Ichigo/tatsuki: Have permission to continue. Rated T or now: may change later. It's Valentines Day. Ichigo decided to give Rukia some chocolate bunnies. How long will it take for Ichigo to realize his mistake, or will Rukia go on a chocolate rampage. On Hold. Sequel to Waiting. Soul has been waiting for Maka to show up for 1 1/2 years. But when his other 'friends' force him to go to a carnival he sees the one person he has been waiting to see again. SoulxMaka. Rated T for language and other T stuff. Complete: Day of Depression: Dende is depressed from Piccolo's screaming. So Nail tries to cheer him up. Will he succeed or will he make things worse? A song fic for the Aliens movies A song fic for Fire Emblem. Song is "Tears Don't Fall" by Bullet for my Valentine Copy and Paste stuff! If you have ever listened to someone say something and you REALLY DO listen, word for word, and when their done you go, "What did you say?", copy and paste this to your profile If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you claim to have no life and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. 1.Brittany 2.Sam 3.Alvin 4.Jeanette 5. Dave 6.Carly 7.Freddy 8. Simon 9.Charlene 10. Miss Miller 11.Theodore 12.Eleanore 1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to? No,and if I did it would be wierd. 2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot? Well,kinda..in her own way. 3. What you happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? Ewwwwwww...even WIERDER!! 4. Can you recall any fics about Nine? Yes but she's never a main character. 5. Would Two and Six make a good couple? Noooooooooooo!! 6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why? Uh...let me ! 7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve "going at it"? Freddy would be weirded out of Sam. 8. Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff? Not really. 9. Suggest a title for Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic. Can't think of one. 10. Do any of your friends read Three het? Of course, he is mostly a main character. 11. Do any of your friends write or draw Eleven? Nope.Not that I know of. 12. Would any of your friends write Two/Four/Five? No. 13. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose? IDK Can't think of one 14. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? All girls!! its a girl thing. 15. When was the last time you read a fic about Five? Yes but not the main character 16. (1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3). Brittany and Freddy are in a happy relationship until Charlene runs off with Freddy.Brittany,brokenhearted,has a hot one-night stand with Theodore and a brief unhappy affair with Eleanore,then follows the wise advise of Dave and finds true love with Alvin. Cute at the end but FREAKY in the begining atleast Britt found true love with Alvin. What title would you give this fic? G.T.M.T.O.M.H. Got To Much Time On My Hands Well, that was fun! How to tell you're obsessed with Alvin and the Chipmunks: OH NO, I HAVE EVERY SYMPTOM! I'M CHIPMUNK OBSSESSED! You see a chipmunk on the side of the road and try to decide if he looks more like Alvin, Simon, or Theodore When your younger sibling does something you don't like, you have the urge to yell "AAALLL-VVVIIINNN!!" Every person you see gets compared with a chipmunk or chipette whether they like it or not You have dreams in which the chipmunks frequently appear You can describe every episode of Alvin and the Chipmunks in full detail, as well as every movie and special You've imagined yourself meeting the Chipmunks and/or Chipettes You randomly say lines from Chipmunks episodes You could tell anyone that according to the movie website, Simon's semi-autobiographical book is entitled "Who Moved My Nuts" You're trying to convince your friends you are not, in fact, crazy, and that 'crazy' is Alvin going around the world, or Clyde Crashcup inventing already-invented things, or Miss Miller... being herself. YOU WANT SPLOOSH!! You want every episode on DVD! You copy and paste this into your profile You add things to it when you copy and paste this into your profile I just added something, and here it is. Now the number one sign that you are indeed Chipmunk Obbsessed is that you form a group and call it the Chipmunk Club. And when your around non memebers, you call it the SMS. Secret, Munk, Society. And you are chipmunk obbsessed if you add a bit of you in your chipmunk fanfictions. ๑๑๑๑๑๑ Put this on your page ღ ๑๑๑๑๑๑ Month One- Mommy. I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs.The sound of your heart beat is my lullaby. -Month Two- Mommy. Today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitly see I'm a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm here. -Month Three- You know what Mommy? I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound do sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry too even though you can't hear me. -Month Four- Mommy. My hair is starting to grow. It is very short andfine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl m fingers and toes, and stretch my arms amd legs. I am becoming quite good at it too. -Month Five- You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion? -Month Six- I can hear the doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns!! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy, help me!! -Month Seven- Mommy. I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy? What did I do wrong? Every abortion is just.. One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak. If your against abortion repost this and tell his story. 150 things I can't do at Hogwarts 1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicated that they are covered with bees. This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma SOta Balcu", as he buried that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night, she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. 95 percent of teens would have a nervous breakdown if the Jonas Brothers and Hannah Montana went to the top of a 100 story building, planning on jumping. 4 percent would say, "Jump you jerks!" Copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list if you would be part of the 1 percent who went up there and pushed them off saying, "You take to long." Mamading, Sergeant Daniel, If you think Ike and Lethe belong together copy and paste this and add your name. Sergeant Daniel For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. 98 OF TEENS WON'T STAND UP FOR GOD... REPOST THIS IF YOU'RE ONE OF THE 2 WHO WILL If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile. If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever wondered what would happen if you peeled an M&M, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love talking, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you constantly say things that make no sense, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever found yourself in a dream where something non-human took over the world, copy and paste this to your profile ATTENTION: IF YOU ARE ON THE TOP OF 4KIDS MOST WANTED DEAD LIST, OR WANT TO BE JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT, JOIN ME IN DESTROYING 4KIDS! SAVE FUTURE GENERATIONS FROM Stop 4Kids! Die Voice Actors! No longer shall we stand for crappy voice actors, such as using a woman with a squeeky voice for a 6-year-old, getting different voice actors when a video game already has a cast and voice actors who are honestly painful to listen to and show no emotian. If you think this too, copy and paste in your profile! WAYS TO FIND OUT IF YOU’RE OBSESSED WITH BLEACH If you: - Every time you write with a pen shout 'WRITE UPON THIS GOLDEN PAPER, SHAININGU-ORI!' - When you meet someone new the first thing you ask is what squad they are from - At the beginning of a race shout 'SHUNPO!' - Stay up and watch a black cat all night to check if it's Yoruichi - Find a cave and train there to try and achieve bankai - When your friend rings you up on the phone shout 'HOLLOW!' - Memorize the kido spells - When there is a thunder storm, run out side and shout 'Way of destruction number 33: Blue fire crash down!' - Call your little brother lil' shiro - Give each of your friends a squad and make them memorize it - Drink sake until you pass out - When your worst enemy passes you by, shout 'AIZEN!' and kick them - Put 'Bureau of research and development' as your screen saver on your computer - Buy all three bleach games - Draw Kon's paw print on both hands in permanent marker - Put all your school books in a thin white satchel that looks like the one Hanataro wears - Be able to list every squads Captain, Vice captain and their zanpaktous - Spray the Gotei 13 symbol on the back of your school uniform - Call your teachers -Taicho and you head teacher sou-taicho - Write your location as 'The human world' and your job as 'Shinigami' every time you get asked either question - Spray you hair white when ever you have a cough - Buy a shining pink swimming suit and wear it to the beach - Buy a chappy and take it everywhere with you - When your trying to explain something use little bunny pictures on a sketch pad - Put the bleach theme tune as your ringtone - Put black tattoos on your head and chest with a marker - Pile your desk with paperwork - Cut the sleeves off your favourite t-shirt because you know they'll get ripped off when you use Shunko - Wake up and shout 'MATSUMOTO!!' Jesus had no servents, yet they called him Master... He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared him... He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world... He committed no crime, yet they crucified him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He still lives today... Be honored to serve such a leader who loves us. If you believe in God and Jesus Christ His son... Then copy and past this on your profile. If you ignore him, in the Bible, Jesus says... "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my father in Heaven..." Samus: "Ike, Do I ever cross your mind?" Ike: "No.' "Do you like me?" "No." "Do you want me?" "No." "Would you cry if I left?" "No." "Would you live for me?" "No." "Would you do anything for me?" "No." "Choose -- Me or your life." "My life." (Samus runs away crying in shock and pain and Ike runs after her) And says: "The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind." (Samus looks at him while he wipes off Samus's tears and smiles at her.) "The reason why I don't like you is because I love you." "The reason why I don't want you is because I need you." "The reason why I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left." "The reason why I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you." "The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you." "The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life." (After hearing what Ike said to her, Samus cried out tears of joy and hugged him.) (If you support Ike/Samus, put this on ya profile 100 Rules of Anime The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good chuckle. #1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply. #2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4. Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium. #3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way. #4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity. #5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science. #6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight. #7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. NOTE: Sometimes, Anime heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something. #8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain. #9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white). #10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a "Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles. #11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything. First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first. Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City". #12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds. #13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility. #14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass. First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also known as the A-Ko phenomenon. #15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious. #16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the "Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss. First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage. Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds, the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape. Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers. Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he will hit. #17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs to get out more.) #18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure. #19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work just as well... #20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song. First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes up against an entire army, the army always loses. #21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t... #22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle. #23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost twice as annoying. #24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy". First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect) Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors. Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome "Good Guys". #25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating. #26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably: 1) be female. 2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation. 3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any. #27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used as a last resort. #28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity. #29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil. #30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason. #31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation. #32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons! #34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them. First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow. Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage. Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows, or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48) #35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before. #36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are: 1) The Hero/Leader 2) His Girlfriend 3) His Best Friend/Rival 4) A Hulking Brute 5) A Dwarf/Kid Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include: 1) Extreme Coolness 2) Amazing Intelligence 3) Incredible Irritation #37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious dimension is commonly called "Malletspace". First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas. #38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid. #39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get and vice-versa. First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world... #40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region. #41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper. #42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it done in half the time and twice the angst. #43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43. #44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect). #45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys" witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. #46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives. #47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry. #48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later, your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect"). First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame, wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s) to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44. #49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff Sniff #50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter). Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression. #51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws 44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys" witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave Phenomenon") 52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters (usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons for this are: 1) They forgot that the person is telepathic. 2) They just don’t give a damn. The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are: 1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else. 2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic. 3) They just don’t give a damn. #53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum. #54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits. First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid, etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying pan or something. #55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything. #56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late. First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use it against the "Good Guy". Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military device without one of the following events occurring: a) The control device being broken. The control device being taken by the "Good Guy". c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just "fooled" by the "Good Guy". d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device. #57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman. #58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance, resulting in two outcomes: a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me look. A negative charge will result in the hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look. #59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7 for speaker pods) #60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them. (Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.) #61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11. #62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years is never as good as someone who has been training for one month. #63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few... of even the one. #64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall. (The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.) #65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49) #66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation- First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least 500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping". Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb. of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential. #67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient. #68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis. First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and lethality of the maneuver. Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension. #69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in Ambient Dramatic Tension. #70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in slow motion. #71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and 65) #72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene. #73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime. #74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime characters will either: a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and exposition), Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a position to ravish beautiful girls, or c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling. #75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette. #76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise? #77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48) #78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST capable of dealing with it. #79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just doesn’t work in real life... #80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole (horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician. #81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if you’re normally a klutz. #82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a Hentai anime is to start having sex. #83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become possible. First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he is wrong and will invariably be toastied. #84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could accomplish... but his old teacher did! #85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see Laws #67, 69, and 84) #86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack. Usually this results in: a) The hero escaping. Clean-up for the underlings. c) The villain getting toastied. #87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon. #88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water, rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up. #89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it... #90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following characteristics: 1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples. 2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas. #91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive vagina. #92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them introducing themselves. #93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death! First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following him around is there because: 1) It’s his girlfriend’s. 2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so. 3) Chicks will dig him more. Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because: 1) It’s her boyfriend’s. 2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so. 3) It makes her look cool. #94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks. #95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...") First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is, but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the skin of the tentacle... Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect). Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again. #96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other, sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage begins to occur. First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko Thing") #97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".) #98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or spaceborne, have the following crew members: 1) The captain 2) His Lieutenant 3) Various female technical staff 4) A hotshot pilot 5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not) 6) The Doctor 7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not) Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include: 1) Extreme coolness/luck 2) Amazing Intelligence 3) Incredible irritation 4) Extreme cuteness 5) Irresponsible drunkenness 6) Homophobicness 7) Emotionless (Idiots.) #99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love. No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At least, Marker Apenname seems to think so... #100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen. The previous was created by Insane Advocate and his two friends. Aswell as various internet sources inorder to help others understand the things that happen in anime. So to help others understand anime affter you have read this please copy and paste this to your profile thank-you |