Chapter 3: Forgetful Comfort

Leni drummed her fingers on her knee as she looked out the window, watching the tall downtown buildings blur passed her. Normally she'd be gawking at the huge towers of glass and steel, something she, or any of her siblings, only got to see up close on very rare occasions, but for once, they held no interest to her.

Lincoln was hit by a car. He was hurt. So bad he needed surgery.

Leni frowned, her eyebrows coming together in thought. Surgery… it took Leni a moment to remember what that was. She'd never had surgery done to herself before. As far as she could remember, no member of her family had. But Leni knew what it was. There were a few shows on T.V. she liked to watch that took place in hospitals, like the one about that really cranky, kind of sad doctor with a limp. They showed surgery being done all the time on T.V. That was when someone was sick, or hurt, to they cut them open and…

Leni suddenly felt queasy. Unwanted images of sharp objects, blood, and oddly shaped, dark colored body parts what were not suppose to be outside the body filled her mind.

Leni grimaced, tempted to flip down her sunglasses. They were a lifesaver when the shows got to much to watch, blocking out the messy images on screen.

Surgery was messy, scary, gross, dangerous…

And Lincoln was having it. Right now.

Against her will, Leni's mind brought up a scene from a show, of someone laying on the operating table, their chest cut open as the were surrounded by people dressed in funny clothes, with white masks and rubber gloves. Then the image changed, instead of the person from the show, it was her little brother Lincoln lying there, face pale, breathing mask over his face, chest open to the air…

Leni shook her head, hopefully removing the made up memory in the process. She turned her attention towards the front of her mother's van, where her parents sat.

They were… quiet. That was weird. Anytime both of them were driving somewhere, the two of them talked constantly. Things that happened during their day, making plans for the immediate future; sometimes they would spend an entire car trip telling bad jokes to each other.

At least, that's what her siblings said. Leni didn't really get it. She thought her parents jokes were great! A lot easier to understand than some of the ones Luan came up with.

But they weren't doing that now. Now, they just… sat there. Her father kept his eyes firmly on the road, his hands gripping the steering wheel much tighter than normal. Her mother stared straight ahead, not really focused on anything in particular, keeping her arms wrapped around herself.

Leni wanted to say something. She wanted to ask what was going on. How had Lincoln been hit? What else did Lori say over the phone?

Why, out of all the Loud Sisters at home at the time, did they bring her with them?

Leni wasn't blind. She knew she wasn't exactly the… brightest member of the Loud family… and she was okay with that. Her sisters all had something that made them unique. Lisa was smart, Lynn was athletic, Lori was commanding; the list just went on. They all had something that made themselves special. And that was how Leni saw herself: special. Just… not in a way that was very helpful.

Leni frowned as the van traveled onto a bridge, gazing down at the water below.

Lori was out of the question, of course; she was already there. And Luna had to stay at the house to watch the rest of their siblings. That was a little weird, since she'd never been put in charge before… then again, there really had never been an opportunity for anyone other than Lori to be put in charge. Luna would do a good job, though. Heck, she'd probably do a better job then Leni could ever…

Leni blinked.

Wait… Leni was older… didn't it make more sense for her to be the one to watch over everyone?

Leni tried to think about what she would do if she was in charge of her siblings…

Then panicked when she had to actually think how many siblings she had.

Lori, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lincoln, Lola, Lisa… wait that's… carry the two… seven! I missed… two?... no, three! Who'd I forget!? Um… wait, wait… Lola… there's two of Lola, isn't there? One likes dresses, and the other likes… dirt, animals, red baseball cap… Lana! That's right, Lana! Okay, then… uh… wait... little, smelly, giggly, loud… Lily! Baby Lily! Okay, that leaves… um...

Leni's eyes widened in worry. She was missing someone, she knew it! With Lana and Lily, and counting herself, that made… ten. Wait, wasn't that the right number?... no, no, she counted Lincoln in that. There were ten girls, but eleven total. So that meant she was missing a sister… but who? Leni thought hard, her heart beat increasing as she did, but she kept drawing a blank.

Wait… blank… blank, like, nothing… like, void… void, black void, black as night, black clothes, black hair… pale skin… Lucy!

Leni breathed a sigh of relief. Lucy, Lana, Lily. That's who she forgot.

…

She forgot.

Leni's face fell.

She remembered, but she had forgotten… again.

Leni's eyes drifted away from the window, instead fixating on a small brown stain on the vans grey carpeting.

There were few things that Leni hated. Spiders were one. Snakes were another. Flakey boyfriends. People who wore white after Labor Day. Bullies.

But if there was one thing, just on thing that Leni hated about herself, it was her memory.

Usually it wasn't much of an issue. Forgetting where she left something, forgetting the name of certain things; those were minor things, problems that she could figure out with just a little nudge from her siblings.

But… then there was her family.

As much as Leni loved meeting new people, she always dreaded talking about her family. Apparently, having eleven children wasn't very common, and took a lot of people by surprise. So, naturally, the first thing people wanted to know was what her family was like.

If only they knew how hard that was for her to answer.

When she was in the house, it wasn't so bad. With everyone under one roof, it wasn't too hard to remember who looked like what, who had what interests, which siblings shared which rooms. But outside? When everyone was split up, separated all over town?

A few of them were impossible to forget. Lori was her only big sister, Lincoln was her only brother. Then there was Luna and Luan, her first little sisters, and the ones she remembered from her earliest memories. But after Lynn was born, that was when things started getting… hard.

When they were right in front of her, Leni could remember everything about each one of her siblings… well, at least the important stuff. Like, which kind of skin lotion Lucy was allergic to, or where Lisa's spare glasses were. But, once they were out of sight… it wasn't very long before the younger Loud sisters slipped her mind.

Leni frowned at the carpet. Yeah… Luna was a good choice to be put in charge… at least she'll remember them all.

Leni looked up briefly, her eyes darting between her mother and father. She looked back down, sighing.

Did they bring me to help, or… did they just want to keep an eye on me?

"Finally."

Leni raised her head at the sound of her father's voice, thick with worry. She looked out the window, catching just a tiny glimpse of a tall building seemingly made of blue glass, before the van entered through a small gate, into a large concrete building filled with hundreds of cars.

A parking garage, Leni remembered after a few seconds.

It took an agonizing five minutes, the van driving up four floors, before they finally found an open parking spot. Mr. Loud opened his door, cursing under his breath as it slammed into the SUV next to them.

The next ten minutes were a blur as Leni trailed behind her parents. An elevator trip to the first floor, a stop in the main lobby, then another elevator to the third floor; it seemed to Leni like the hospital had been built for no other reason than to confuse people trying to find their way in a hurry, with all the long hallways and identical rooms.

Leni hugged herself as they passed by an older woman in a wheelchair. She breathed in through her nose, instantly regretting it. She didn't like hospitals. They smelled… fake. Like the building was trying to smell like a school or a home, but was somehow… off.

She looked between her parents, trying to keep up with they're not-quite-running, but-faster-than-walking pace. The silence was starting to get to her. The Loud parents were… well, loud. They were always talking and joking, always with a smile on their faces. They weren't suppose to be like this. All quiet and tense, their faces expressionless, save for the tightness in her mother's lips, like she was trying to hold something in.

It was a relief when, finally, they were pointed in the right direction: a small waiting room, the walls painted a tannish, yellow color. Several padded chairs were littered throughout the room in groups of three or four, with a large brown couch pressed up against the far wall. And sitting on that couch…

Leni froze in the doorway as she took in her older sister. Lori looked... broken. Her legs were pulled up onto the couch, pressed against her chest as her arms wrapped around them. Her head was down, her face pressed against her knees.

"Lori?" Mr. Loud called gently as he and his wife stepped into the room.

Lori's head snapped up, and Leni flinched when she saw her face. Dark lines of black and blue ran down her cheeks, the remnants of her ruined makeup. Her eyes were red and puffy, a slight sheen in them proving that there were more tears yet to fall. Her chest heaved with deep shaky breaths as she quickly stood up. "Mom… Daddy… I..." The dam burst as Lori threw herself at her father, who quickly wrapped her in a hug.

"Shh, shh… it's okay, sweetheart, it's okay," he whispered in her ear. Mrs. Loud moved forward, putting her arm around her daughter as well.

Leni took a few steps into the room, fidgeting from foot to foot. She felt very out of place as she took in her parents and older sister, not really sure what she was suppose to be doing.

They all just stood there for a few minutes, Lori's quiet sobbing the only sound in the room. It was Mr. Loud who broke the silence. "Lori… what happened?"

Lori shuddered as she took a ragged breath. She pulled away from her father's hold, bringing her eyes up to meet his. She held his gaze for only a moment before her eyes fell to the floor. "We… we were in the parking lot. Lincoln was putting the bags in the van, and… I walked away for just a few seconds, I…" Her voice caught, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry… it's all my-"

"Mr. Loud?"

Four sets of eyes went towards the waiting room door. A woman stood in the doorway, clad in light blue hospital scrubs, a similarly colored cap on top of her head. A white face mask dangled around her neck.

Mr. Loud cleared his throat, stepping forward. "I'm Leonard Loud, and this is my wife Rita." He gestured to Mrs. Loud, who stepped up beside her husband. The two parents gave the doctor their full attention, an almost desperate look in their eyes. "Please… do you have news about our son?"

The doctor took deep breath, her eyes glancing towards Leni and Lori. "Perhaps we could step outside?"

The Loud's shared a worried look, before nodding to the doctor. Mr. Loud followed her out, Mrs. Loud pausing to speak to Leni. She pulled her second oldest to the side, looking her in the eyes. "Leni, sweetie, stay here with Lori. And… try to keep her calm." She whispered the last part, shooting a worried look at Lori, who had returned to staring at the floor.

Leni just barely stopped from asking how she was suppose to do that, simply nodding with a small smile on her face. Mrs. Loud responded with her own fragile smile, before following her husband out the door.

Leni stared after where her parents had disappeared for a few moments, her eyes slowly turning back towards Lori, who still hadn't moved from where she stood.

Leni was completely lost. Comforting sad people wasn't really her thing. Not that she didn't want too, just that she wasn't very good at it. That was more a thing Lincoln was good at, or Luna, or Lori, when she was feeling nice. Plus, this was Lori, her older sister. How exactly do you comfort someone older that you?

Still, Leni was a try-er. If her mother thought she could help Lori, then Leni was going to give it her best shot.

With a small smile (not a big one - there was no real reason to be happy at the moment), Leni took a few steps forward, putting herself right in front of her sister. "Hey, Lori? Hey, uh… how about we sit down while we wait, huh?" Leni reached for Lori's hands and, receiving no resistance, pulled her back to the couch from earlier. They sat down, though Lori seemed to be in some sort of daze, moving stiffly and not really reacting to Leni's words.

Silence stretched on, and Leni started to feel awkward. She was never good with the quiet. Lori was acting so… un-Lori, that Leni was getting uncomfortable. Lori Loud was always moving, always talking, mostly on the phone. She was grumpy, she was irritable, she was protective, she was… Lori. But emotionless? Silent?

Who was this girl, and what did she do with her big sister?

Just when Leni opened her mouth to talk (what about, she still had no idea), Lori's head raised just a little bit. Her blank eyes focused on her folded hands. Leni followed her gaze, when Lori, very slowly, turned over her left hand. There was a small smattering of red dots along her wrist.

Leni tilted her head. Did some red paint drip on her? Or, did she eat something with ketchup? Wait, no, that can't be it. Lori hates getting messy, she would have washed it off the second it happened. Besides, she wouldn't have had time to eat or anything after Lincoln…

...Oh. Oh. Oooohhhh…

Leni's eyes widened, her mouth falling open a little as she realized what she was looking at. She felt her stomach turn cold and drop. She was so surprised, she almost missed Lori speak.

"The doctors washed my hands when they brought us here." She sounded so broken. "But they were in a hurry… to help L-Lincoln." A watery giggle drifted from her lips, though Leni saw no laughter in her eyes as tears trailed down her face. "G-Guess they missed a spot."

Leni's mouth opened and closed uselessly. She was just lost. What do you say to that?

Try to keep her calm.

Leni's mouth snapped shut. That's right. Her mother told her to keep Lori calm. She didn't know how to do that, so decided to do what she usually did when she had no clue what to do.

Make it simple.

Lori is upset. Why? Lincoln was hit by a car. Can't do anything about that. What else? Okay, she was quiet before. What made her start crying again? She saw the blood on her hands.

Something clicked in Leni's head. A happy smile formed on her lips. I can fix that!

"Well, that's no big deal." She said in her normal tone of voice. She rummaged through her purse for a moment, before her fingers wrapped around what she needed. She pulled out two packets of travel wipes. She tore one open. "Here give me your hand."

Leni grasped Lori's hand and pulled it forward a bit. Lori gave no resistance, but made no move to help either. Leni ignored this, instead gently rubbing the wet cloth over her wrist.

The room fell silent again as Leni ran the cloth over Lori's wrist, the small specs of red slowly starting to fade as Leni kept her eyes on her work.

"...it's my fault."

Leni paused in her cleaning at Lori's quiet words, not quite hearing her. She lifted her head, only to find Lori staring down at her no clean hand. "What was that?"

Lori swallowed. She spoke louder, a waiver in her voice. "It's my fault. It's all my fault."

Leni stared at her for a minute, before looking back down, rubbing at Lori's other wrist. "No it's not."

Her quick denial made Lori look up in surprise, before looking back down guiltily. "Yes it is, Leni."

Leni shook her head. "No, it's not."

Lori looked back up at her. Her eyes narrowed a bit. "Yes, it is."

"Did you want him to get hurt?"

Lori actually flinched back, a look of shock on her face. Leni kept her grip on Lori's wrist, though. "W-Wha… No! Why would you-?"

"Did you push him in front of the car?" Leni cut her off, not looking up.

"Wha- No! No, why would-!?"

"Were you driving the car that hit him?"

"No!" Lori shouted, yanking her bloodless hand out of Leni's grasp, fury in her eyes. Lori was getting angry. That was okay. Leni was used to Angry Lori. The elder Loud sibling glared at the younger. "How could you even ask-?"

Leni's head suddenly snapped up, concerned confusion on her face, her eyes staring straight into Lori's. "Then how is it your fault?"

Lori's breath caught in her throat. Her anger burned out in an instant, the fury in her eyes vanishing at the sight of the concern held in Leni's. She held Leni's stare for a full thirty seconds, before looking away, staring off at nothing.

Leni leaned to the side, trying to make Lori look her in the eyes. "Lori?"

"...he pushed me." Lori murmured.

Leni blinked, certain she'd misheard. "What?"

Lori grimaced, her eyes watering again. "I was standing in the road. The car was going to hit me. Lincoln…" Fresh tears spilled from her eyes. "He pushed me out of the way. He got hurt to keep me from getting hit. He… he got hit because of me." A sob burst from her lips. "He's here because of me."

…

Leni… just stared. She had no response to that. Her poor brain was working overtime, trying to come up with something, anything, she could say to make things right. When nothing came to mind, she did the next best thing.

Scooting over on the couch, Leni wrapped her arms around Lori's waist, pulling her close. The moment Lori felt her front touch Leni's chest, she threw her arms around her younger sister on instinct. She buried her face into Leni's shoulder, muffling her sobs.

Leni, still feeling very lost, started rubbing small circles on Lori's back. She remembered doing the same thing to Lola when the dress obsessed girl burst out crying when she fell into a mud puddle when wearing a brand new dress. It seemed to help Lola then. Maybe it could work with Lori now?

After a few minutes, Leni asked quietly, "You didn't mean for Lincoln to get hurt… right?"

Lori took a shuddering breath. "No. I-I swear I didn't, Leni." She murmured, pulling back a little.

Leni nodded, still a little confused. "Then… It wasn't your fault. It was an accident."

Lori pushed her forehead against Leni's shoulder. "Just because it was an accident doesn't mean it's not my fault, Leni."

Leni frowned, thinking for a moment. "...Lynn broke my nose with a baseball bat once. That was an accident."

A bark of disbelieving laughter pushed past Lori's lips. "That's because you wanted to be umpire, and were standing close to the plate."

Leni shrugged, ignoring the phantom pain in her nose at the memory. "Still, Lynn hurt me, but she didn't mean too. That was an accident."

Lori sighed. "That's not really the same as this, Leni."

Leni tilted her head in confusion. "It's not?"

Lori was still for a moment. Leni was getting concerned, when Lori giggled. A real giggle. "Never change, Leni." She laughed, a hint of fondness in her voice.

Leni was even more confused (what was so funny?), but ignored it. Lori wasn't crying anymore, and didn't seem as sad either. She smiled. She made Lori feel better!

Leni opened her mouth to speak, when she heard footsteps. Lori, hearing them too, pulled away from her sisters hug, and the both of them turned towards the doorway. Leni felt her stomach drop again.

Mr. and Mrs. Loud stepped back into the room. Mr Loud seemed very tired, his shoulders slumped and his lips set in a permanent frown, and Mrs. Loud… just like, Lori, her makeup was quickly starting to run down her face, tears dripping off her chin. Her eyes never left the floor, Mr. Loud keeping an arm around her as he lead her into the room.

"Mom? Daddy?" Lori asked, standing up alongside Leni. She looked between her parents, panic starting to form in her chest as she took in their expressions. "What is it? Is… is Lincoln...?"

Mr. Loud looked to his wife, who was still staring at the ground. He swallowed down his nerves, facing his daughters. "Lincoln just got out of surgery. They got him stitched up and set his leg. They moved him into a room on the other side of the floor."

Leni beamed. Lincoln got through the surgery alright! That was great.

Lori shared her thoughts, a hopeful smile forming on her lips. "That's good, right. When is he going to wake up?" Her new-found hope took a nosedive when both of her parents flinched at her words. "What? What'd I say?"

Mr. Loud hesitated. Glancing around the room briefly. "Lori…"

"What?" Lori took a set forward, pressing a hand to her chest. "Dad, what?"

Mr. Loud stared at Lori, before turning his gaze to Leni, who just looked back in concern and confusion. Suddenly, he took a deep breath, closing his eyes. When he opened them, he looked between his eldest daughters, steeling himself. Leni felt a cold sensation at the base of her spine, a feeling that she only had when something really, really bad was about to happen. She hoped she was wrong.

She wasn't.

"Girls… Lincoln is in a coma. They don't know when he'll wake up."

A/n: So… been a bit, hasn't it? Sorry. I actually would have had this up a few weeks ago, except my hard drive decided it was done with this world and corrupted itself, taking pretty much all of my writing with it, including this chapter, notes for future chapters, and a whole bunch of stuff for my other stories, including one that I haven't updated in over a year. (Yes SiW fans, it's not dead, I'm still working at it).

After about a week of trying every trick I know, and a few I recently learned, I had to admit that all my stuff was forever gone. And let me tell you, nothing will kill your muse quicker than knowing you have to rewrite an entire chapter you were just one page away from finishing.

Moral of the story: Always backup your stuff!

Now that my belly-aching is out of the way, I hope you like this chapter, and that I did Leni some justice. Truth be told, I think she's my favorite character, with Lucy sitting at a close second. What can I say, I love the oddballs.

See ya later!