All of my stories on here are crap. You shouldn't read them. They're also all discontinued because of several reasons.

Hi. Writing fanfiction isn't something I'm going to prioritize in my life, if only because I have no time on my hands between original writing, meatspace responsibilities, and a constant lack of spoons, but I'll upload some stories occasionally. I have attention issues, so expect a lot of stories that have only been begun and very few that are updated past the first chapter or few.

Likewise, I will try to be good about reviewing stories, but any reviews I leave have a chance of being scant unless you ask for a more detailed review.

Please, somebody kick my arse into gear.

Stories I want to write in the future:

Blood-Watered Flowers—The smallest action can prompt huge changes. Or, wherein Sakura and her family move to Sunagakure when she is five years old. Upon meeting a lonely kid named Gaara, her life will go down an unintended path. Not necessarily a good one, either.

Rabbit Lessons—Kakashi tries to help Sakura early in her Genin career, but his good intentions backfire. In a foreign place where individual lives are cannon fodder, she must adapt to the native ways if she is to survive her training as the Rabbit Summoner.

Jumping Waterfalls—A crossover between Pokémon and Naruto. Haruno Sakura has just graduated from the Trainer's Academy and is about to start her adventure. Unfortunately, her journey is already off to a bad start upon receiving a Magikarp as her starter. Then her life becomes just plain complicated when she meets a hyperactive blond who can communicate with Pokémon.

The Power of a Name—Names have power. Names provide definition. It was an innocent act on a young Sakura's part to give that second voice in her head a name, but one that would have consequences of their own.

Untitled—I don't know, but I've wanted for a year or so to write a sorta SI/OC fic of a human from our world being reincarnated as a Summon.

Debridement—Beneath the idyllic surface of Konoha, the magical capital of Hi no Kuni, shady figures plot and the grudges of generations past fester. Enter a drifter who washed out as a wizard, a magical private detective with connections to the underworld, and a Seelie half-fairy stuck in a job going nowhere. After an event that nearly wipes Konoha off the map, a spellsword finds himself taking the three under his wing.

Homeward Bound—Sakura, a student about to enter her last year in the Academy, is traveling around Hi no Kuni with her parents during a vacation break when they're beset by bandits. As the only survivor and stranded in the wilderness, Sakura must survive on her own and find her way back to Konoha using only the skills she has been taught in the Academy along with her cunning.

Ghosts of the Future—Twelve year old Sakura wakes up to a perfectly normal morning. At least, until she starts seeing ghosts and spirits everywhere. With only the enigmatic words, "Your body may breathe, but your name is in King Enma's book," from a passing spirit, Sakura sets out to discover the root of the strange things happening to her and finds herself changing the future. Time-travel, supernatural, other stuff.

The Travels of Naruto—After failing to retrieve Sasuke when he defects, Naruto is banished from Konohagakure. The council wakes up the next day, hungover and with one thought on their minds: "F—, we've got to get back our Jinchuuriki." Parody fic.

In the Serpent's Coils—Naruto/Harry Potter crossover, takes place right after Sasuke's defection and during The Chamber of Secrets. After a failed assassination attempt on her life by an unknown assailant, Tsunade sends Sakura to Hogwarts under the wing of her old friend, Dumbledore, until the assassins are sussed out. But a greater danger slithers through the castle's walls, one which could cost Sakura's not only her life, but also her soul.

The Mind Eater—Shikamaru is familiar with shadows and notices them in a way that other shinobi do not. Since their days in the Academy, sometimes he would swear that Sakura's shadow had a mind of its own. On an ANBU mission gone wrong, they will both discover the truth to be even worse.

Untitled—A spin on the cliché Sakura-gets-a-Kekkei-Genkai-and-kicks-ass story.

Untitled—We've all heard how it goes: Naruto has a twin sister, she receives the Kyuubi and a ton of attention and praise, he is ignored and hated, he grows up super powerful and hateful, yada yada . . . what if, instead, Naruto's sister was reviled as the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki and he takes it upon himself to help her? IC!Naruto AU.

Untitled—Time-travel fic where souls end up in wrong bodies . . . including those who didn't time-travel and have no idea of the future.

Alternative Team Seven Series I am planning:

The Terrible Three—What do you get when you mix together a Jinchuuriki obsessed with anything sharp, a literal-thinking avenger who insists he's a pirate, and a girl with a demonic second mind? Certainly nothing good, that's for sure. Kakashi doesn't quite agree with the Hokage's opinion that they'll "grow out of it."

Team Why—Naruto is an adolescent boy in the body of a demon fox, Sakura has weaponized bees, and Sasuke is from the future—the canon series' future, that is. What could possibly go wrong?

Team Paranormal—Naruto is a demon-holding ghost hunter who is terrified of ghosts, Sasuke is a ghost, and Sakura is a priestess who may or may not be the conduit of a wrathful deity. Kakashi only wonders when they had the time to pursue these . . . hobbies, what with also having their Academy classes and outside training.

Team What—Naruto is a superhero whose good deeds have huge consequences, Sakura's a mad scientist bent on ruling the world, Kakashi has to mediate between the two of them when he's not turning into a giant radioactive lizard, and Sasuke takes it upon himself to be the only sane man on the team (for what it counts, coming from a traumatized pubescent avenger). Yes, I have to write this.