"You are weak."

Sasuke knew he was dreaming.

"From now on for the next twenty-four hours…"

But it still hurt as he watched them die. Over, and over, and over –

"…you will relieve that day." (Over, and over, and over –)

He saw the gashes on their arms, the wounds on their chests and the burnt skin on their faces, and he felt like he had those same wounds, bleeding and hurting ten times over.

"You are still weak, Sasuke."

He screamed, and he heard a thousand voices screaming with him. He heard his uncle and aunt and cousins and mother and father screaming with him –

"Your hate still isn't enough."

CHAPTER 17: Over and Over

"Sasuke-kun!"

A force collided with his chest so fast he barely had time to register who it was. But the weight was familiar and the voice murmuring in his ear is familiar, too, and he relaxes.

"You're okay, you're okay –" Sakura whispered in his ear over and over (and over and over –), although he doubted she was talking to him.

Sasuke closed his eyes, and breathed in the familiar scent of her pastel-pink hair. How long has it been, since she had been this close to him? All he remembered were the solitary moments he spent training, walking back to the Uchiha Manor and overhearing –

Sasuke stiffened. His eyes scanned the area frantically and he realized that he was not in his bed. He was not in his room – he was at the hospital. Itachi – Itachi had been there. Itachi had gone to look for Naruto of all people and he fought him and he lost.

"You are still weak, Sasuke."

He clenched his fists. He had the sudden urge to throw something, to punch something –

"Sasuke-kun…" Sasuke's eyes darted towards her face and his initial instinct had been strangle her, hurt her. What was she doing, getting in his way?! He had to find Itachi he had to –

He looked back at Sakura's face. There was an unreadable expression in her eyes, reminiscent of worry… and fear.

Sasuke blinked.

He… did he just think of strangling Sakura? Hurting her? What –

There was a burning pain at the area where his neck and shoulder met, and he clutched it with his left hand with a strangled gasp. He barely registered Sakura being pulled away from him and the loud protests of the dobe somewhere in the room.

Sasuke forced his eyes open. There were two jounin in the room, each held one of his teammates. And there was another person… a woman. With blonde hair parted in two tails.

"So," the woman said with a snort, "Orochimaru had his way with you, did he?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth. That's right – the burning pain in his shoulder was the curse mark. Kakashi had sealed it, but it still hurt. Like hell.

"Tsunade-sama – can you – can you heal it?" Sakura asked, all the while looking at Sasuke worriedly.

"Heal it?" the woman – Tsunade – snickered. "He is already fully healed." She watched carefully with her cold, amber eyes. After a moment, said eyes softened, albeit a little bit. "At least, physically."

Sasuke breathed heavily. The pain was growing. It took all the strength he had not to scream.

"I'm afraid I need to knock him out for a while," Tsunade said with a sigh.

Naruto and Sakura spoke at the same time.

"You can't do that –"

"But he just woke up –"

Sasuke's vision blurred. He didn't want to fall unconscious again – back to that dream, experiencing that night over and over – but before he could say or do anything else, the world was already black around him.

Sakura didn't know the exact details of what happened, only the basics – Naruto had been travelling with Jiraiya when Itachi showed up with a rouge shinobi from Kirigakure. Somehow, Sasuke had found out that Itachi was in the village and they fought and Sasuke lost. When she had seen Sasuke's bruised, wounded, unconscious body through the emergency room window, she had not known what to feel. She had been in too much shock to feel grief and shed tears, or relief because he was alive. And so she had stared blankly at the hospital walls for hours. That was how Naruto found her. She had looked at him blankly, and he started explaining what had happened.

"I did not know, Sakura…" Naruto had said, his voice etched with pain and worry, "that Sasuke-teme had a brother."

Sakura had nodded in reply, idly wringing her hands in front of her.

Itachi… Itachi-onii-sama was here. She supposed she couldn't call him that anymore, after everything he did. However – she didn't know if it was because she had not actually seen him kill everyone, or because she trusted Itachi too much – she couldn't bring herself to hate him.

And now, as she stood outside Sasuke's bedroom, idling reluctantly by his door a week after he first woke up, she was still torn between staying and looking for Itachi herself, even if she knew he was long gone by now.

She didn't know what exactly happened, or how or when, but things were different between her and Sasuke now. She supposed it was partly her fault for avoiding him. (sort of) After the Chuunin Exam, there was a strange feeling in her chest whenever she looked at him. She found that she could no longer look at him without remembering the tender look in his eyes, the feeling of his face buried in her shoulder and his arms wrapped around her waist with those five words echoing in her head.

"I thought I lost you."

Sakura gulped at the memory. Really, now. For years she had schooled her emotions into quiescence. She had long known that she loved him, and had long accepted that he may not feel the same way and for a while it was okay, it was fine, it was enough but now –

His eyes, his face on her shoulder, his arms around her waist –

…now that the childish, girlish, delusional part of her thought that there was a chance that he might like (love) her back, she was losing it. The embers are turning into a great wall of fire of hidden, subdued emotions –

And the door opened before her.

Sakura jumped in surprise. Sasuke looked at him with a distant expression in his eyes.

"Sasuke-kun, I was… just about to –"

He didn't let her finish. "I'm going to train," he said, brushing past her.

Sakura turned around and watched his retreating figure. There was something wrong. There was something very wrong. Sasuke – Sasuke was different. She didn't know what was different, or how she knew, but as she watched him go, her heart started beating fast in fear, like she is quickly losing him –

"I'm coming with you!" she said, before she had any time to think.

Sasuke turned his head slightly and looked at her blankly. "I won't be long," he said flatly.

No, of course he won't, Sakura assured herself quietly. He will come back, just as he has for the past few days. Slightly worse for wear but okay. He will be okay. It will be okay.

But the feeling was still there. It was screaming right at her ear like a banshee.

"No, I'm coming with you," Sakura insisted. "Let's spar."

Sasuke paused for a moment, studying her. After a while he replied. "Okay. Prepare quickly."

Sakura nodded and moved to prepare.

The training grounds were less foreboding than usual. Or maybe that was just her.

She never did like training here much. She preferred target practice in her room, where she didn't feel like she was watched or scrutinized. Or maybe it was just her childhood catching up to her.

Sakura brushed the thought aside. There were more approprite times to think about the past.

The pink-haired girl put aside her pack, pocketing a number of kunai, senbon and shuriken, before she looked back at Sasuke.

"So," she started, forcing a smile, "shall we start?"

Sasuke shrugged and pocketed a few weapons himself.

"First one to pin the other wins?" she suggested; Sasuke assumed his stance, and Sakura tooks it as a cue to begin.

Sakura adjusted her footing and they began.

Sakura was fast… but Sasuke was faster. Within seconds she was pinned on the ground, looking at Sasuke's sharingan eyes and catching her breath. Still adrenaline-pumped, Sakura struggled under his grasp, but to no avail. Sasuke tightened his grip on her wrists and glared pointedly.

"What is the use of fighting, when you've already lost?" he asked.

Sakura glared up at him in return. "Losing is a myth," she replied. "In life, we fight. Every day, we fight. We fight against ourselves, against the circumstances presented to us, against everything. Even in death, we do not know what battles we are going to be facing."

She thought she saw Sasuke's eyes soften a bit before he rolled unto his back and lay next to her.

They stayed like that for a while, unmoving, staring up into the now-orange sky.

"Sasuke…" Sakura started, looking at him at the corner of her eye.

Sasuke turns his head to meet her gaze, signalling her to continue.

Now, this was familiar, she thought - the peace in his eyes, his presence beside her, within arm's length. She thought about all the things she'd give away to pause this moment and save it, keep it and protect it.

"With Itachi…" she started. Sasuke's eyes clouded over again, and he looked away. Sakura feels her heart fall. Just like that he is worlds away again. "You didn't just lose did you? Something… something else happened."

She heard Sasuke let out a sigh. She watched him, waiting for him to continue.

"He looked into my eyes, and made me relieve that night," Sasuke said quietly.

Sakura's lips parted in shock. She remembered how dreadful that night was to her, even more so for him. And to relieve it again –

Sasuke closed his eyes. "He made me watch them die over and over, until the moment I opened my eyes again."

Sakura sat up. What –

"It was horrible."

She felt like someone may have as well pulled her heart out from her chest and crushed it with their bare hands. She didn't know what to say to him. That was – relieving it over and over again – that was sick. Who would do that?! Who in their right mind would do that –

She hadn't realized she was shaking until she saw Sasuke sit up and watch her carefully. She didn't understand why – or how – he could still look so at peace. Why was he so calm? After what he'd been through –

Sakura let out a shaky breath and crawled towards where he was sitting. With shaking hands, she took one of his and looked him straight in the eye.

"Are you… are you okay?" she asked slowly. It was a stupid question. Of course he wasn't okay. He couldn't be! But she needed to ask. She needed to hear his answer.

Sasuke exhaled quietly before answering. "I don't know," he answered.

Sakura bit her lower lip and grasped his hand tighter. "I'm… I'm here for you, you know," she said. "Always."

Sasuke's fingers closed around her hand as he answered. "I know."

There was something in his expression that she couldn't quite figure out. Perhaps later she would think about what it was and what it meant. For now she would enjoy this moment. With him. And pray that someday, they will be okay.