A/N: Yup, no excuses this time. Just felt like writing so hope any still reading enjoy!

Records of Change Chapter 11

Twenty-Ninth Day of Brimir's Eighth Month

I did not sleep much last night. A thousand worried thoughts stirred my mind. Even writing in my journal did little to calm my troubled heart. Though my own assistance was both unwanted and useless, I could not help but feel like the failure I once believed myself to be. Tabitha teetered on death's door and I was powerless to assist.

After writing my previous entry I had set myself to the pointless task of bouncing between my ailing houseguests. Tabitha's mother rested peacefully with Siesta monitoring her for any changes. Blanche's orders; Siesta had been trained to notice minor shifts in health after all. Kirche had been patched up by Jean. The man may be a fire mage, but he has significant experience with treating flesh wounds between his time at the prisoner's camp and wherever he learned such skills before. According to him Kirche was in no danger; exhaustion coupled with minor blood loss had stolen her consciousness, but she bore no mortal wounds. The same could not be said for Tabitha.

Lying still upon the bed, the blue haired girl looked so frail. A word I would have never imagined to associate with Tabitha. She was strong, reserved, studious, withdrawn, stoic... She was a pillar of marble that I even still could not fathom to be the ailing waif in that room.

From the doorway I had watched Blanche work; the soft blue hue of her healing light illuminated the room so strongly I doubted the bedside lantern even necessary. Beads of sweat glistened upon Blanche's brow under the strain of the empowered and incredibly precise spells she rapidly cast. Her hurried murmured incantations were tinged with worried determination. Though I had never worked healing magic myself, I had studied the topic thoroughly. For a square class healer like Blanche to be straining so, Tabitha's chances were slim. Even without that knowledge I knew the danger for what it was. The hole I has seen in Tabitha's gut was large enough that I could have reached my slender arm through. She should have been dead.

It was that realization that drove me from my home and to the stable outside and Sylphid within. I was desperate to be useful, to set myself to something that would chase the thoughts of death from my mind. My stablehands were used to Alexis so it was not the size of their occupant that bothered the servants. Rather, the wounds upon the dragon worried them. Any tamer can tell you a wounded animal can turn feral without any notice.

Luckily my presence was able to spur the men to action. They applied diluted salves to the open wounds and spread the damaged wing out to improve circulation. There was nothing we could do to repair the membrane but allow Sylphid's own rapid healing to properly repair the wing. If the wing was folded and healed improperly, we would have to cut it later, a daunting task with even a trained animal.

When the work was done I allowed the men to step outside. Sylphid had opened a weary eye at some point during our work and even a tired dragon was enough to engender fear in men. When I was alone with Sylphid I began to speak. I had needed to speak my fears before they consumed me and my only confidants were either away or busy actually being useful. At the time I had assumed a dumb beast would have to suffice as a substitute.

That assumption proved false.

I spoke my fears as best I could through strained sobs. I confided that I did not think the familiar's master would survive the night. That even with the reagents Fouquet was racing for Tabitha would have little more than a sliver of hope. That in all likelihood Fouquet wouldn't even arrive in time. I felt so helpless, begging for the forgiveness of an uncomprehending familiar.

At the time I never expected Sylphid to understand my words, much less take action in response. Yet Sylphid had straightened herself, reached one clawed talon to her breast, and pulled forth a miracle hidden beneath the folds of protective outer scales. Sylphid held to me a scale that shined with a blinding rainbow of ephemeral wonder. The light danced throughout the stable in a wondrous explosion of color. For just a moment every fear I had was forgotten in the face of such beauty.

And then that moment was over. I had never seen one before but I had read about them plenty. My rational mind locked onto the scale before me and the hope it symbolized. Sylhpid was giving me her heartscale. The heartscale of a Rhyme Dragon. A reagent so powerful an entire species of firstborn had been hunted to extinction. Entire companies of men had died seeking what some considered to be the worlds greatest treasure. And Sylphid was handing it to me.

Sylphid was a no wind dragon, but a Rhyme Dragon. A firstborn wonder of the old world. They were to dragons as humans are to apes. Similar, but so much more. My mind did not know how to process the revelation at the time, so I did not. Time was of the essence and I would not waste Sylphid's gift.

My leg groaned with pain when I cast my cane aside to use my sole arm to cover the scale in my cloak to hide it. That pain faded as I hobbled as fast as I could to Tabitha; I spared only one thankful glance back to Sylphid. I instinctively knew to hide what Sylphid was. Familiar or no, being a Rhyme dragon would paint her as a target. Even now I can only vaguely recall shouting at my stablehands to care for Sylphid and the self inflicted wound upon her breast. With all the haste my gimp leg would allow, I made for Tabitha and Blanche.

Even Blanche's own stoic resolve faltered when I presented her with the scale and flooded the room with brilliant light. Her eyes had met mine filed with questions, but pragmatism quenched them like water quenches fire. Blanche took the scale from me and placed it over Tabitha's wound. Blanche whispered soft words of gratitude to me of all people, then returned to her incantations. Immediately the scales magnificent light vanished from the wound, completely redirected into the hole in the girl below it.

Part of me had expected the healing to be done immediately with such a miracle. Yet I soon found an annoyed glance cast upon me from Blanche. It seemed that even with the scale Blanche needed time and solitude.

The rest of the night eludes my memory. All I can remember after is waking up in the soft reclined chair I favored from my living room. In my stable. Sylphid rested peacefully before me. Her deep, slow breaths eased my worries. Beside Siesta slept, upon a pile of hay. No doubt I had made some insistence to remain with Sylphid, my poor servants had found some way to accommodate.

Though Siesta would later chastise me for it, I let the maid remain asleep. I retrieved my cane from where it leaned against the chair's armrest and made for Tabitha.

Even the relief I felt at being vindicated at my trial paled in comparison to finding Tabitha resting peacefully. Each deep, restful breath was so much salvation to my weary heart. Tabitha's bare belly bore no hole, but rather a circular scar filled with perfect, healthy skin.

Blanche remained in that room, her bloodshot eyes betraying he lack of sleep. At my presence the sleep deprived bastard ushered me over and showed the tiny progress her own magic made and the scar tissue left behind. Then the filed flesh where the heartscale had worked its miraculous power. Blanche had rambled something about the theoretical applications of such a reagent; nothing I understood. Then the healer handed me the scale wrapped in the same cloak I had brought it in. When I peaked beneath the wrapping I found the reagent no longer emitted light, but what light reflected off of it still danced with humbling beauty.

I am unsure just what that means as of now, but for the time being I have placed the scale within my vault for safekeeping. Once Tabitha wakes I shall give it to her. Sylphid may have entrusted the miracle to me, but I was but a courier. Tabitha is the true owner of the gift.

With my exhaustion and all of my houseguests resting safely I had expected the rest of my day to be comparatively unremarkable.

Yet that assumption proved as false as my previous. Tabitha's Mother woke in the late afternoon and the woman was quick to begin screeching incoherently and feebly attacking any servant that came to placate her. In the end I was forced to have two of my guards hold her down and force her to take a sleeping potion lest she hurt herself.

Just what had happened with these friends of mine?

Thirtieth Day of Brimir's Eighth Month

Kirche woke today. I am told my fire haired friend had immediately risen to seek out Tabitha, only to collapse not a few strides from her own door. The salves that healed her wounds had sapped vitality from her body to do so; leaving her very much whole, but about as strong as a wet noodle. It was only when Colbert assured her that Tabitha was fine did she relent to be taken back to bed.

I was alerted not long after that and made my way to Kirche. Our reunion was tenser than I would have liked. Kirche, like me, is a prideful woman. Being in my debt filled her with a strange guilt. Still, I was able to lift her spirits by turning her own usual jesting against her. The joviality brought on by my own jests and the news that both Tabitha and the girl's mother were fine diminished when I asked the question I needed answered.

Just what had happened?

At first Kirche was reluctant to speak, no doubt thinking Tabitha should be the one who decides what I am told. Yet that would not do. My house had been on lockdown since Sylphid crashed into my courtyard. Soon Tarbes would be asking questions. Loyal as my servants are, word would get out that Kirche Zerbst and Tabitha the Blizzard and arrived bloodied and beaten on my doorstep. Whoever or whatever had injured them would come, and I needed to be ready.

Kirche's guilt twisted the words out of her and I learned far more than I would have dreamed. I only write these words now because I have had Jean inscribe failsafe runes into my journal. Though it would pain me for it to come to pass, if one not of my blood opens this journal it shall burst to flame.

Tabitha is no bastard. She is Charlotte Helene de Orleans niece to the childless King Joseph of Gallia and thus the current heir to the Gallian throne. Her mother had been poisoned in Charlotte's place and brought to madness by that very same King. Joseph had held Charlotte's mother, Duchess Helene de Oreleans, hostage and used her as leverage to force Tabitha on near suicidal missions. Supposedly after the botched assassination attempt the King was content to simply wait until his potential rival died in a politically acceptable fashion.

The duo had sought to rescue Duchess Helene and flee to Kirche's estate. At first the mission had gone off without a hitch. The two were dangerously competent after all. However, that changed when an unexpected guard caught them loading a drugged Helene aboard Sylphid. That guard was an elf.

It was not a fight. The two had thrown everything they had at the elf in an attempt to buy the moments they needed to take off. Yet Kirche's fire simply winked from existence and Tabitha's javelins of ice were turned against them. The wounds they had received I saw with my own eyes the night they arrived. The only reason Kirche was able to pull Tabitha aboard Sylphid and flee was because Kirche's own familiar, the Salamander Flame, had charged forth breathing fire and smoke in such excess that all sight was blocked.

I gave Kirche time to recover, the mention of her familiar's sacrifice had unsteadied her.

The rest of the story was one of desperation. My estate was far closer than Kirche's, and with Slyphid wounded and Tabitha dying Kirche had made her way to me.

It was obvious that Kirche was still healing, emotionally and physically. So I left her to rest with a simple, yet absolute promise. I will protect them. I am oath bound to Lord Zerbst and honor bound to my own soul. I will protect these friends of mine, elf or no.

Thirty-First Day of Brimir's Eighth Month

I ended the lockdown on my house today. As far as my servants are concerned they should not speak of what happened, which that the gossip will be delayed long enough for my letter to reach Lord Zerbst. A simple thing, letting him know the condition his daughter arrived in and my word that I remembered my oath. It was important to make sure the facts weren't twisted before reaching him. I am sure interest parties would be happy to have Lord Zerbst learn I was holding his daughter hostage or something equally outlandish.

Despite my bravado the thought of an elf showing up at my doorstep worries me. I made plans with Colbert for him to take the trio of house guests by way of wagon to my waiting sloop should I call for a swift evacuation. Unlikely to succeed, but preparation never hurt.

As for me? I spent time trying to get the magic nullifying properties of my spells to manifest before the explosion. I am not confident in the effectiveness of even my particularly destructive magic against an elf. However, if I am to have any chance I would need to negate the spell that redirected Tabitha's spell before hand. All the power in the world would mean nothing if I hit myself with it.

After some time I am not sure if I succeeded, as I have no real way to test, but my intuition says I made progress.

I sent a messenger that I will be coming to meet with Princess Henrietta. A simple, innocuous message if intercepted. But when read by Henrietta she is sure to notice my lack of well wishes or self depreciation. For me to be completely direct meant I had important news that could not be trusted with a messenger. I am oathbound to protect those under my care, but also to serve my Queen. Thus I must inform Henrietta I am harboring Charlotte de Orleans.

If you are a particularly curious scribe I will detail the possibility that is sure to pique your interest. Yes, if Henrietta were to compel me to turn Tabitha away I would be forced to offer my own life in recompense.

The fact that I have no fear that Henrietta would make such a demand fills me with such hope. Not long ago the craven darkness within my own heart would have convinced me that such abandonment was likely. Now? Now I am secure in my own worth and Henrietta's trust.

As a note to myself: from now on I shall not refer to Tabitha and Helene by their titles. It would be best to grind the safer terms into my mind so I don't let anything slip in lax conversation. Improper? Assuredly. But also safer.

First Day of Brimir's Ninth Month

Blanche slept last night.

I mention that because I learned that the woman had not slept since Tabitha arrived. The first night was a given, she had worked through the night to save her patients life. But afterward? Apparently the woman had been downing stimulant potions so she could study the effects of Rhyme Dragon heartscale without missing a moment. Blanche had sat vigil taking notes on Tabitha only leaving to use the privy. The woman didn't even bathe.

That kind of abuse of stimulant potions could kill her if she had gone much longer. Yet when Colbert explained what had happened he spoke with an almost wistful respect for her dedication to research! I will detail it here for posterity. Academics are lunatics of the highest order.

Once the madwoman rises I will have to quiz her on what can be done with Helene. For the blue haired woman is quick to descend into a tantrum if she is not drugged, and sleeping potions are not a long term solution.

With gossip spreading I can hope Kirch'e presence will obfuscate the presence of Tabitha and her mother. At first glance the association of a Zerbst and Valliere makes for much juicer conversation.

Still, I will have to think of other avenues with which to hide Tabitha. If I take an assumed bastard under prolonged protection people will take note of it and investigate. For now others will assume it is due either to Kirche's known friendship with her or my own previous association. But continued boarding and acting as her patron? That would be something of note.

Second Day of Brimir's Ninth Month

Tabitha was in and out of consciousness for most of the day, only gaining lucidity as the evening approached. She had been assured that her mother and Kirche remained safe, but still asked it of me when I arrived regardless. I think Tabitha still didn't know how to realize she had succeeded in rescuing her mother. Tabitha traced a finger upon her odd, circular scar.

With Blanche still unconscious it was left to me just how she had ended up with said scar. As soon as I mentioned just what had been used to heal her, Tabitha went pale with horror. Only to falter when I quickly explained that Sylphid seemed fine. The Dragon simply rested and healed. Yet Tabitha's confusion soon became my own as it was her turn to speak.

After identifying just what her familiar was Tabitha turned to her mainstay: books. She had read everything she could find on Rhyme Dragons and every single book detailed the same fact. The removal of its heartscale killed a Rhyme Dragon. Still, Sylphid was fine; awake at times even. I had just come from the stables after all.

Such a mystery was something to investigate to be sure. But only after Tabitha recovered and even then only in secret.

I convinced Tabitha to remain in bed by appealing to her pragmatic side. Showing herself to Sylphid as worn as she was would only cause the familiar stress, and thus endanger her health. An underhanded tactic, but a noble goal.

Now I sit writing and I see much of myself in Tabitha. We have both been faced with challengers far from fair by no fault of our own. But rather than being beaten down, we have both faced them and turned our fortunes around. My impending death is assuredly a sour note. But for now at least I would not change my life. I have managed to do too much good to regret my choices.

Third Day of Brimir's Ninth Month

I hadn't planned on an entry tonight. It was a bothersome day with managing restless houseguests who needed time to heal, visiting Tarbes to ease concerns after my unexpected lockdown, and of course my evening walk amongst a hundred other trying matters.

Yet still I must write, for I just had a conversation with an elf.

I woke to find the firstborn standing by my open window. Words beautiful and foreign whispered from the elf as he held a gentle hand toward where Siesta slept. A sleeping spell to isolate the two of us. My first instinct was to reach for a my foci, but the elf held my cane within one arm. He must have noticed my intent for he quirked an eyebrow at my action. At that point my weary mind managed wake enough to still itself. Had the elf planned only malice I would already be dead; calling for help would only make such an early demise more likely. So instead I studied the elf.

He was tall, slightly more so that Jean. But his slender frame lacked Jean's broad shoulders. The elf had long, almost silvery blonde hair and simple yet elegantly flowing clothing. I must admit the rumor that elves are a beautiful race is well founded. It was the other rumors of their brutality that steeled my heart. It was then I realized that while I evaluated the elf before me, he too was studying me. So, knowing that victory comes to the bold, I spoke first and demanded what the elf wanted, barging into a lady's room must mean its important.

Apparently my statement had amused the elf, as he chuckled. Almost dismissively the elf stated he had not come for a fight. He may have injured the ones I harbor, but that did not mean we couldn't come to an arrangement. If my glare had effected the elf he did not show it. Instead the elf explained who Tabitha was and what that meant. Though it was nothing I didn't know already, I let the elf speak all the same. There was no reason to tip my hand after all.

What did surprise me was the elf's simple, yet very serious question. If it came to it would I be willing to stand against the King of Gallia to protect Tabitha. With no hesitation I affirmed that I would. I had already set myself to protect Tabitha, committing it to words with an elf changed nothing.

With that the elf simply smiled and nodded. He gave his word that as long as Tabitha remained under my protection elven kind would make no move against her. Foreign incantations heralded the arrival of mists through my open window and when they cleared the elf was gone and my cane was leaning against my bed. I was quick to close and lock my window. Not because I was afraid mind you. It was just cold outside. Yes.

As for the elf I can safely say I am being used. Elves in general are no friend of mankind, so it makes to play the nations of man against one another. However, even with my recent gains I am no rival to a king. I can't help but think there is more too it. The elf had seemed so confident; he knows something I do not.

Fourth Day of Brimir's Ninth Month

Tabitha is mostly recovered. She can move well enough at the very least. Blanche woke and Tabitha was quick to divulge the formula for Helene's medicine. It is no cure, but the potion allows Helene some modicum of peace and functionality. The woman looks like an empty doll, but at least she does not scream and attempt to hurt herself. From what I gleaned for Kirche the two had engaged in clandestine mission to acquire that medical formula before the rescue attempt. So this was no last moment decision at least.

I spoke with Tabitha in private and divulged all that had transpired with the elf. At first Tabitha protested my protection; she seems entirely fixated on the idea of "rescuing herself." However, I am a stubborn and prideful woman. I did not give the Princess an option. I do feel slightly guilty by insinuating that by leaving she would discredit my word and make me a liar. But this will be far better than Tabitha's original plan of staying on the move with a medically dependent Helene.

It pained Tabitha deeply to be relying on me. I could see it in her eyes. The fear that the progress she made to better herself was slipping away. So I bonked her on the head with my cane. I'll have none of that in myself or others thank you very much. I told my friend plainly that she should be proud to have torn off the shackles that held her so long, but to rely on friends was no weakness from her past seeking to claim her once more. Rather, it was proof of her own worth that Kirche, that I, wanted to stand with her.

Seeing Tabitha blush and wipe away tears was a wholly alien experience. Twas strange to see emotion break through the unyielding girl's control; both for myself and I imagine Tabitha herself. Still, it was not wrong. She deserves reprieve far more than any I know.

Fifth Day of Brimir's Ninth Month

I endeavored to make my trip by sloop to Henrietta as unremarkable as possible. Going so far as to load the hull with fine Tarbesian wine for the officers to divvy to their men as they see fit. Hopefully an outsider will view it as a national heroine making sure she stays in the good graces of the military. Still, I am sure those clever enough will assume some info was passed. But the veil will be enough for my purposes.

I had expected a somber conversation with Henrietta. Which I did receive. However, I did not expect Henrietta to call for the Emperor of Germania, Albrecht III. Firstly, I did my best to avoid the power game the two monarchs were playing. Henrietta had made sure to receive me in the war tent. So when she called for the Emperor he had to come to her. Henrietta made some excuse about my physical state and thanked the Emperor for his time. But from his playful smirk I surmise he, like I, saw the game for what it was. I was impressed, I respect Princess Henrietta in many ways, but for some reason I never assumed court intrigue was among her strengths.

Of course Henrietta took with one hand and offered with another. She had me recount my information on my houseguests, stating that the two allies shouldn't hide important information from one another.

Emperor Albrecht reminds me of my Father. They look nothing alike mind you. Albrecht is white of hair and dark skinned, but the strength of will and cunning mind stood out immediately to me. The monarch explained that his own network of spies had found minor connections between Gallia and the Reconquista. Likely the country planned to let the chaos fall where it would and join the winning side for safe gains. Obvious as the tactic would be at the end, whoever proved the victor in this conflict wouldn't want to turn away Gallia's fresh and large army as an "ally."

Apparently Henrietta had already been privy to this information, and stated that my situation might be a weapon to repel a future threat. Both leaders worried that Gallia might seek to undermine the blockade as war was where they stood to gain. However, Princess Charlotte was a threat the King of Gallia couldn't ignore. If Tristain and Germaina backed her, Gallian nobles might turn from the Gallian King Joseph and side with Charlotte.

The threat of such internal strife meant that Gallia could not move against Tristain or Germania overtly.

On the other hand the two would not seek to support a war unless it proved necessary. The actions and intent of the elf tempered even monarchs it seems. If elven kind saw profit in war between nations, it was in their favor to avoid that if at all possible.

I admittedly spoke out of turn when I stated I would not use Tabitha as a tool. Luckily, Emperor Albrecht seemed to take no offense and plainly stated that wouldn't be necessary. Tabitha's one way to protect herself and her mother was to become enough of a threat that Joseph could only undo himself by moving against her, but if left alone her threat would remain inert. Someone who had already moved to oppose her oppressor wouldn't balk at a route to realize her goal. I couldn't rebuke that in truth. Albrecht's logic was sound.

His point that if King Joseph outmaneuvers them politically I might end up taking the fall was equally logical and just a bit chilling.

The rest of the particulars are not worth mentioning now. Rather I find myself stewing on Princess Henrietta. I suppose it is foolish to only remember her as the girl I grew up with. Rather, she too has become a shrewd and tactical woman. I find myself rather proud to be her vassal.

Sixth Day of Brimir's Ninth Month

When Tabitha scolded Sylphid today I couldn't help but chuckle from where I stood watch outside the stable. The idea that such a small girl cowed a creature that turned men craven was amusing. Also touching that the two cared for each other before themselves.

Blanche arrived to inspect the two, the trio of us plus Kirche were the only ones who knew just what had been used to heal Tabitha and what should have happened to Sylphid. What detection spells Blanche used were likely far beyond my understanding, but I do know she spent near and hour poking and prodding Tabitha and Sylphid with magical and mundane techniques. What Blanche found is both wondrous and unnerving.

A Rhyme Dragon's heartscale is the source of its life force. Once expended they cease to be, it was as simple as that. However, that very life force had been poured into Tabitha, her master. The two were connected by the bond of mage and familiar. As Blanche explained normally that bond empowers the vitality of weaker familiars, allowing even mice to live long lives alongside their masters. It would seem that bond has been reinforced in a strange, almost undecipherable way. Magic unfamiliar to Blanche flows between the two along that bond. Whether it be first born or something else, Blanche cannot determine, yet she did theorize that if either of the two were to perish, the other would most assuredly follow.

Though it was not my intention to press even more heavy news upon Tabitha, I thought it best not to delay informing her of Princess Henrietta and Emperor Albrecht's plan. I met with her in the privacy of my study where I could be sure my sound dampening wards would keep the conversation private. I made it clear that she could leave if she wanted, I would provide her with my sloop and crew to take her anywhere. However, before I could even ask if she would rather stay she denied that option. I am almost surprised by how agreeable she was to the idea of becoming a threat to King Joseph.

To her, the ability to stand against that with oppressed and chased her was a path she had never been offered before.

Still, I thought it best to make sure she understood the other monarchs were using her as a tool. They had good intentions, but Tabitha was a tool never the less. Which led to my next piece of information. As much as it bothered me to reveal, I detailed the issue of my own impending demise. I could almost see Tabitha clamp down on her emotions as I explained that though I would leave instructions that Tabitha is to remain a welcome guest and her mother taken care of, I could not guarantee more after I was gone.

Perhaps it was the exhaustion, but Tabitha could not keep up her usual resolve. A scant few tears fell to my study's floor. Tabitha's quiet voice lamented that I was doing so much for her yet she hadn't thought of what had befallen me. Unused to such lack of control, Tabitha could barely repress the sobs that stole her voice.

I am sure that were I as clever with people as Kirche I would have had some insightful words to ease Tabitha's woes. However, I had no words, rather I had empathy. For purpose was what had saved me and purpose was what would save Tabitha. So I asked of her a favor.

Tabitha needed to make her own connections, learn to lead, and gain enough respect so Princess Henrietta and Emperor Albrecht would see her as an ally rather than a tool. I needed a captain for the warship I was supplying to the blockade.

Really, it would be two birds with one stone.

Seventh Day of Brimir's Ninth Month

Blanche continued to study the spent heartscale. It is wondrous to behold, but drained of all power. What is interesting is that the scale has yet to crumble as Blanche said it should. Rather, it seems to be nigh unbreakable. Blanche used all manner of spells and devices but could not even scrape off a flake of the scale for study.

By the end of the day the stimulant potion addict seemed to have given up. She said something about useless containers not being worth her time and sought out Tabitha to press gang the girl into more tests.

Originally I had sought to return the scale to Tabitha, but the girl had all but demanded I at least take it as a token for my efforts. So instead I am left with a useless, if pretty, indestructible scale. Well, now that I think about it the scale might not be wholly useless. Drawing up a letter had the scale packaged and sent to my mother. The Valliere family has master armorers on retainer and it would be best if my captain looked the part. My seamstress already had Tabitha's measurements so I needn't inform her until the prize is ready.

As a side note I did speak with Blanche earlier in the day during my health examination. A somber note to be sure, but I shall record it for posterity. In the coming months I can expect my blight attacks to intensify. Siesta has been trained to see the signs I might miss when a blight attack is coming. Between my own familiarity with may ailment and Siesta's diligence I have been able to prepare myself mental and retreat to privacy for some time now. However, Blanche warns that an attack might claim my life if not properly medicated. She has been preparing droughts to dull my muscles. I am to take one when a attack comes to keep my own heart from overexerting itself or my muscles from tearing themselves. A pleasant thought.

The drawback of such drafts is that they render my body vulnerable to the atrophying effects of the blight. Even if a blight attack doesn't take me, my ever weakening heart will succumb to the atrophy. If all goes according to plan, I will last until childbirth. At that point Blanch plainly says there is little hope. As I have instructed Blanche will be prioritizing that my child is not infected by me. My heart will be far to weak to survive, and even if it did Blanche says there are a hundred more ways the birth will weaken my already spent body. I will die, this I know.

It was as tough to hear as it was to write just now, but this knowledge no longer erodes my resolve. No, now it only steels me ever more.

Eight Day of Brimir's Ninth Month

Tabitha managed to keep my condition secret from Kirche for a whole two days. I am thoroughly impressed as I have no doubt that a blind and mute monk would end up spilling his secrets if Kirche wished it.

I knew that Kirche knew immediately. There was no jovial teasing in the woman's eyes. No, I saw the sobriety and understood immediately. Kirche had no tears for me. Likely she had suspected for some time, the germanian is clever like that. Instead she told me how her own mother had died when she was young; of the empty feeling she felt growing up.

Hearing that was painful, knowing my own child will face the same pain. Yet Kirche said it all the same. She explained that she used to irrationally blame her mother for dying, as selfish children do. But in the end Kirche forgave her mother for dying, as selfish as the sentiment was. Selfish it may be, yet I can say Kirche's words did bring me some peace. To know that my child can grow to be as good a person as Kirche puts fears I did not know I had to rest.

Ninth Day of Brimir's Ninth Month

Henrietta sent word of approval for my war galleon, crew and all. With that it is official, Tabitha is the captain of the rechristened Ivaldi. Named by Tabitha to remind herself to be her own hero. I should have expected it, but Kirche is planning to accompany Tabitha as a mage attaché. As she put it, her father always wanted her to gain military experience, so there is no better option.

Still, the idea of a Zerbst serving technically under a bastard and at the behest of a Valliere would cause some gossip; definitely enough to annoy the Zerbst patriarch. Which, I'm sure, is at least half of Kirche's motivation. Her official reasoning is to solidify the peace I've brokered between our two families. I can only hope she doesn't reignite old feuds with her flippancy.

As for Tabitha, the girl is withdrawn. She spends time with her mother as best one can with a ghost of a woman. It is painfully obvious Tabitha does not wish to leave her, but she cannot care for the woman aboard a military vessel. Tabitha declined my offer for her to back out. The girl... No, the woman wishes to become strong enough that her tormentor will leave her be. To gain the strength to stand against him should it come to that.

Tenth Day of Brimir's Ninth Month

The Ivaldi set sail today, and with her went Kirche and Tabitha. Her crew are all experienced sailors led by an executive officer my father recommended. Between her tried and tested crew, Tabitha's magical acumen, and Kirche's people skills; I am sure they will perform admirably. It will be up to Tabitha to make connections while in port and gain the respect of the military commanders of both nations. Before I would worry, but now I had seen Tabitha's resolve, she shall be fine.

Sylphid was healed enough that Blanche gave the clear for the dragon to go with. A departure lamented by my own mount Alexis. The Manticore had spent many a night sleeping outside the stables near his ailed friend. Now the beast whines at me while I finish my entry in the evening light. And here I thought taking my tea in the garden was a good idea for some peace.

With effort I shall ignore my manticore's whines and detail my more mundane thoughts. A good exercise to order myself after the flurry of revelations this past week.

What comes first to mind is Tarbes. The village continues to thrive ever more. With the example of the academy the villagers petitioned for a schoolhouse to be built in a rather unique fashion. They have pooled nearly half the funds necessary and asked that I consider supplying the other half. Bold to be sure, but also unnecessary. Their taxes had already accumulated enough for the next project, and a schoolhouse was a fine idea. I suggested they use the funds to construct a domicile for and to hire a teacher. Something the elder found most agreeable.

Second on my mind is the prison camp. The walls were strengthened and raised in accordance with Agnes's review. Something I met with and explained to their elected leaders. The men didn't seem to mind, rather they had some odd petitions on how to spend their notes of credit. They wished to build more walls. Or rather, to expand the walls outward away from Tarbes and construct a game field for typical peasant feats of skill and strength. I agreed under the condition that I would higher the contractors with my own money and take the notes of credit myself. I wasn't about to let prisoners build their own walls.

The last leaves an ill taste in my mouth. Edward Borde. The merchant had yet to move against me after I foiled his iron trust attempt, but I do not doubt he would move again unless I prove I am an enemy he should not trifle with. His slights against me are hardly ammunition. He offered to buy slaves from me, he presented me with a gift of manticore poison, and he attempted to cripple me economically with a trust. The first is technically legal, the second barely an insinuation of a threat, the third was not technically a crime and was beaten before it could even be enacted. That meant a legal attack would serve me little.

Striking at the man militarily was out. Not only are what little forces I posses devoted to the blockade, one does not wage open warfare on a merchant. Besides, the man hadn't actually endangered me in any way, I am not so cruel as to murder my economic competition.

I suppose that meant assassination is out as well. A notion much to Fouquet's chagrin, what with her particular disdain for slavers. On that note blackmail failed as well. Despite herself Fouquet had found nothing with which to blackmail the man. He had legitimate, diversified holdings. In all truth he kept within the letter of the law perfectly.

That of course left fighting the man economically, on his own field of battle. Likely it is what he shall expect. However, I shall not give him the pleasure. I can expand my own influence and strike at Borde in one move if I was willing to use my remaining weapon effectively. Sadly, it is the one weapon I would rather hang upon a rack and never touch again. I could strike at the man through social means.

I am going to have to attend a party.