A Young Girl's Melancholy Part 1

"Aah, that was pretty good!" I said as me and Louise left the cafe and started walking down the street. "Alright, where to, next?"

"Aren't you the tour guide?" Louise asks me. "Shouldn't you be telling me where to go?"

"Should I?" I ask. "I dunno, that seems rude to just yell at people where to go."

"You were doing that five minutes ago!" Louise yells at me.

"... Nope, don't recall," I say. "Irregardless! Okay, let's check where to go next."

I take off my backpack, unzip it and start riffling through it. I like this backpack. It holds all sorts of useful stuff! Like my compass, a map, sometimes I store my watch in here, my sword, my thermos for when I get thirsty-

"Two questions," Louise says before I can pull anything out. "One, where'd you get that backpack?"

"My roommate," I answer. "It was hers, but she didn't need it so she gave it to me! She was nice like that."

"No, not that," Louise says. "I mean where'd it come from, you definitely didn't have that when you left the house."

"Yes I did," I tell her.

"No you didn't, you didn't have anything!" Louise says. "You just walked out of the house and now you've got a backpack? What, are you a thief in addition to being a liar?"

"I'm not either!" I exclaim, before pausing to think. I mean, I think I've lied before, but never on purpose. Does it make you a liar if you never lie on purpose? Ah man, that's a sobering thought. I don't want to be a liar! I always try to tell the truth, I'm sorry if I lie! The thief part is lot harder to defend. I mean, I'm a treasure hunter, not a thief! There is a distinction, though I suppose they both involve taking things from people. I mean, I guess that by definition makes a treasure hunter a thief. But I usually only take treasure from people who aren't around anymore! Wait, that's grave robbing. I guess that's a lot worse than just being a thief. Oh man, I really am a thief and a liar.

"H-hey, are you alright?" Louise asks me. "You spaced out and now you're just poking some dirt with a stick."

"Don't mind me," I tell her. "I'm just a no good, lying thief. Pay me no heed, I don't deserve it."

"..." Louise seems unsure of how to react. "I... I guess I was wrong, I must have just missed you bringing the backpack with you."

"Really?" I ask.

"Really," Louise says. "You're... Probably not a thief. Can I ask my second question then?"

"I suppose," I tell her.

"How are you managing to fit a sword inside your backpack?" Louise asks.

"Oh!" I exclaim as I spring to my feet. I pull the sword out of my backpack and point it to the sky. "Behold, the magnificent blade of holy justice, Last Judgement!"

"Your mood turned around quickly," Louise notes.

"A most holy sword, forged from materials long since forgotten," I ignore her. "A blade so sharp it can cut through time and space itself! A handle so golden, the smallest amount of light reflecting off of it could light up a darkened cave! Materials so mysterious and powerful, the sword itself has gained awareness of it's surroundings!"

"I'm not a blacksmith, but even I can tell you that none of that is how a sword works," Louise says. "Why do you carry a sword in your backpack?"

...

"Yeah, you tell her, Last Judgement!" I say.

"Excuse me?" Louise asks.

"Last Judgement was asking why you wouldn't carry a sword with you," I translate. "It always helps to be armed with something to defend yourself."

"I know that," Louise replies. "Nobles carry their wands, and commoners carry a sword or dagger to protect themselves. That's in my world though, is your world dangerous enough that you need t- wait, did you just say the sword was talking?"

...

"Last Judgement, that's not very nice!" I scold her.

...

"It's okay, as long as you're sorry," I say with a smile.

"Alex, you're talking to a sword," Louise says.

"Yes, and?"

"… Alex, swords can't talk," Louise tells me.

"What are you talking about, Last Judgement can totally talk!" I reply.

...

"Yeah, remember?" I ask Louise.

"Remember what?" Louise asks.

"My introduction!" I say. "Blade cuts space-time, handle lights caves, materials give awareness. If Last Judgement wasn't aware of her surroundings, why wouldn't she be able to talk about them?"

"... But swords can't talk," Louise says. "Even if they could, your sword is very clearly not talking! It's not even moving or doing anything that would suggest it could talk! What, are you going to try and convince me that it's speaking directly to your mind?"

...

"Oh, that is a good point," I say.

...

"I can do that!" I say with a grin, before turning to Louise. "Okay, Last Judgement said that just because you can't understand her doesn't mean she isn't talking."

"It's not like the sword's speaking a different language, it isn't making any noise at all," Louise says. "Nothing the sword is doing could in any way be taken as someone talking. At all."

"Oh please," I say. "There's tons of way to communicate beyond talking! Like writing a letter, winking at someone, hugging someone, beating the crap out of someone, the list is endless!"

"I feel like that last one was a bit different than the others," Louise says.

"Like look at this!" I say as I give Last Judgement a few good swings. "Ha! Ha! Hoooah! See? Communication!"

"Alex, what are you doing?!" Louise hisses at me. "Don't swing a sword around in a public area, you could hit someone!"

"Oh come on, Last Judgement would let me know if I was about to hit anyone I'm not supposed to!"

..!

"W-woah!"

"Watch out!" Louise yells.

*thud*

"Oh, that could have been bad," I admit.

So what just happened was that both me and the person who just walked by weren't paying attention, so that person nearly walked into my swing, and I almost didn't catch Last Judgement's warning. Luckily I was able to slow down Last Judgement at the last second which allowed the passerby to fall back and land on their butt, dodging the blade. Whew, that could have been messy!

"You mind watching where you're swinging that thing?" The passerby asks from her place on the ground.

"I was! ... Just, not carefully enough," I admit.

"See Alex, that's what I was saying!" Louise says. "You nearly took her head off! Here, let me help you up."

The passerby had a pretty face too, so that would have been a shame. She looked young, maybe Louise's age (though whether that meant Louise's apparent age or her actual age I wasn't certain yet), and was similarly built. Kind of short, petite, and flatter than a cutting board. Unlike Louise and her bright pink hair and eyes, the passerby had brown hair and eyes, with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. Hey, we have the same hairstyle! Ponytail siblings! Woooo! I love meeting people with ponytails. It's nice knowing there are other people out there who love this low maintenance hairstyle as much as I do. Also unlike Louise, the passerby had a much more normal sense of fashion. Louise wore some weird school uniform and cape, while the passerby was wearing a black t-shirt, a jacket and jeans. Much more normal!

"It's no problem," the passerby says as Louise pulls her up. "Really, that was kind of my fault for almost walking into your boyfriend's prop."

"Alex isn't my boyfriend," Louise denies.

"You think I'm a boy?" I ask the passerby.

"... So girlfriend then?" she asks. "I'm not here to judge."

"Wrong again!" Louise says. "Alex is just touring me around the city because... Well I guess I can say I'm new here."

"Besides, I don't know if I could ever be someone's girlfriend," I say. "I don't think I fit the criteria."

"Are you saying you're a boy?" the passerby asks. "That's kind of what I figured at first."

"I'm not saying that, I was talking about the fact that I'm not in one place very often, so I'd never be able to actually settle down with anyone, because I'm never settling down! It's way too boring like that, where's the fun in treasure hunting if you're not going all over the world! You can't have fun, be in a relationship and see the world, it doesn't work that way!"

"You didn't answer the question," the passerby notes.

"She won't, trust me," Louise says.

"What are you doing swing around a prop like that anyway?" the passerby asks. "Trying to fight off Celestials, and the closed space disappeared before you were done?"

"Last Judgement isn't a prop!" I exclaim. "She's a most holy sword, forged from materials long forgotten! A blade so sharp it can cut through time and space itself! A handle so golden, the smallest amount of light reflecting off of it could light up a darkened cave! Materials so mysterious and powerful, the sword itself has gained awareness of it's surroundings!"

"Alex, you said all that already," Louise says.

"Oh, I did?" I pause. "Um... Passed down for generations-"

"So you're a... What's the word I'm looking for, chuuni?" The passerby asks, ignoring me.

"I'm not familiar with that word, does it mean idiot?" Louise asks.

"It's more like someone who's lost touch with reality."

"This sword that cut through the dreaded fires of the apocalypse and helped restore order and peace throughout the land countless times! That has-"

"Alex certainly lives in her own little world," Louise concedes. "Nice to meet someone more normal than her, my name is Louise."

"My name is..." the passerby hesitates. "Call me Kyonko, that's all that anyone calls me anymore."

"Pleasure to meet you Kyonko, I'm Alex!" I say. "It's short for Alexander or Alexandra, I can't remember which, I'm awful with names."

"How long have you known him?" Kyonko asks Louise.

"About a day."

"I'm so sorry for you," Kyonko says.

"Hey, it's not like I'm that much of a pain to be around!" I say.

"I mean, at least you're just an idiot and not a bully," Louise concedes.

"If I had to pick one or the other, I'd probably go for an idiot," Kyonko agrees.

"Yay, I'm preferable!" I cheer. "… Hey, Kyonko, how knowledge are you about this city?"

"I've lived here all my life, why do you ask?" Kyonko asks.

"Would you mind helping me on the tour?" I ask. "I haven't been in this city very long, and Louise just showed up yesterday. You have to know more than us, right? Therefore, you're the better tour guide! Thank you, I'm in your care tour guide Kyonko! Let's go!"

I grab Louise and Kyonko by their hand and drag them away.

"W-wait, I never agreed to this!" Kyonko yells at me.

"I want to go home," Louise says. "At least back home I knew what to expect."

"Life's more fun when you don't know anything about anything!" I say. "Ignorance is awesome!"

*Author Notes*

Right, so, apparently author notes should be at the end of the chapter to avoid spoilers. I always figured people would just skip the author notes, read the chapter and then come back, but we can do it this way.

Anyway, this chapter we hit our first minor derail. What, you thought this was just going to be a story about Louise having to adjust to the real world? Well for starters, bringing up that Alex is a treasure hunter isn't just a joke. That'll come into the story eventually. But we're not talking about that for a while. What we're supposed to talk about is Kyonko, whose appearance here shouldn't be a surprise. For those who aren't aware, Kyonko is a fanmade female version of the main character of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. I think there's a whole story behind her existence, but this isn't the place to talk about it. If you ever visited my profile on this site you'll see I have a list of all the stories I plan to write, and the summary for this story explicitly mentions Kyonko showing up. The North High reference last chapter was also a bit of a hint. "But wait, if Kyonko is in this, why aren't you labeling it a Haruhi crossover?" Well, there's a good reason for that. Two reasons actually. Firstly: It isn't a Haruhi crossover. Yes, Kyonko shows up, and it takes place in the same city, but that's as far as it goes. Alex and Louise are the main characters, Kyonko's just along for the ride. What's the second reason? …

Anyway, Louise sure took to Kyonko kind of quickly, didn't she? I was a bit worried about that, but I figured it made sense, considering Louise doesn't know anyone on Earth except for Alex, and I'm sure anyone would want someone else around them who wasn't kind of insane. That's kind of Kyonko's role in this story. Louise is an alien magician, and Alex is… Alex, so Kyonko's the normal one.

Speaking of Kyonko, usually she's just referred too as Kyon, considering she usually replaces Kyon and "Kyon" is just a nickname anyway. Usually Kyonko is only explicitly called Kyonko when Kyon is also present in a story to differentiate them. No real reason for me to point this out, I just thought it was kind of interesting.

Speaking of interesting, I found a new way to organize this story! It was just an idea that came to me, but I figure I'd make each chapter part of an episode. Two chapters make an episode, an unknown amount of episodes'll make up the story. This allows me to think this story out two chapters at a time, instead of trying to plan the whole thing out at once. Last episode was the prologue which introduced Alex, Louise and Gideon and set everything into motion, This episode introduces Kyonko and adds her to the group.

Anyway, I've been talking a bit too much, I imagine. See you next chapter!