All standard disclaimers apply.

Beautiful Monsters

Chapter 5: Catalyst

Sakura curled herself into a ball on her bed and wrapped her sheets tighter around her but it didn't make a difference. She knew she wouldn't be able to fall asleep. She hadn't been able to for a while now. It all started when her inner personality had begun to go psychotic, she couldn't fall asleep unless it was drug-induced and then her immunity started to kick in. Now, she had to train herself short of death before she could manage to get any rest done.

Lack of sleep, hardcore training and the vast amounts of soldiers pills had been taking were already taking a toll on her body. She was always thin and pale but now she looked so fragile. The dark circles under her eyes were already more pronounced, and she was already losing weight, her body only managing to retain the muscles because of the punishment she put it through everyday at the training grounds.

She glanced around her room. It seemed unfamiliar.

What was once so organized was in a state of chaos. Books piled up at the side of her bed and jutsu scrolls were scattered all over the floor together with discarded food containers that were now empty. She was somehow glad that she no longer lived with her parents. They would probably be livid if she did.

She sighed tiredly.

After her latest battle, she was still worn out, physically and emotionally. The face of the boy she most likely killed still flashed inside her head but it was rare. After her match, she had locked herself up in the bathroom and ignored anyone who came knocking, regardless if they knew it was her inside or not.

She had been in a state of turmoil. She shouldn't have done what she did to the boy. She had tried to not engage him in battle and simply dodge around until he wore himself out but he got to her first. The graze on her cheek had barely hurt and the self-inflicted wound on her arm had been nothing; however, when that boy had started taking her chakra she felt so violated. Like he had done her a personal offense and had invaded her personal space, she felt her energy slowly trickling out of her as if he was capable of taking her very life with his strange ability.

Yes.

He should die.

Her thoughts were taking a turn for the worst but she couldn't control her anger. He had hurt her after she had tried so hard not to do so to him. Was everyone like this? Would they only answer her care and protection with pain and betrayal? If so, then she wished she had killed him, wished so utterly hard that she burnt his insides to ashes like the hell he deserved to rot in.

She reeled from her thoughts, the guilt eating her up. He was still from Konoha, the village she swore herself to once she had become a ninja. But why was her own comrade trying to actively hurt her? She couldn't understand. Even if it was for something as important as the chuunin exams, he had taunted her and actively tried to kill her.

Why

Why

WHY

Her thoughts were all in a jumble, but it wasn't enough to distract her from the sudden presence in her room. She felt herself suddenly jump up from her position on her bed after grabbing the kunai that she had stuck inside her pillow, ready to defend herself if the intruder was hostile. She raised her eyes to the bemused look of her sensei, his hands held up in clear indication that he had meant no harm.

"Sakura," She heard her sensei speak, and she calmed down but there was still a bit of tension around her frame. She wasn't comfortable when another person was in her home but she was exhausted so she flopped down onto her bed and watched as her sensei looked around her room with one of his eyebrows raised.

She grunted in response, drawing the blankets closer to her and returning to her previous position. Despite the fact that the jounin didn't seem to think anything bad of her, she wasn't sure how to act around her sensei after she confessed her situation to him. She was sure he believed her, despite the incredulity of her story, and for that she was grateful.

He grabbed a fire jutsu scroll from the floor, quietly inspecting it, "I didn't know you lived alone."

"My parents kicked me out after I decided to become a ninja." It was true. Her merchant parents expected her to continue making the family business prosper and had been so against her decision to join such a violent world but for some reason she stood up for herself, adamant that she do what she wanted with her life. It was hers, after all.

Looking back, she thought that maybe they were right.

"Sensei," She began, not really knowing what she wanted to say. She just wanted someone to comfort her, someone who wouldn't judge but it looked like she didn't have to say anything as the older man only let out a sigh and approached her bed, sitting down at the end. She nearly flinched as he began to comb her hair with his hands, untangling all the knots that had accumulated. She realized she hadn't really brushed it for a long time.

"You know, Sakura, if anyone ever saw us like this they'll probably think I'm some kind of cradle snatcher." He teased but didn't stop.

Sakura let out a snort, "Don't worry, sensei. Everyone already knows you're a pervert."

Kakashi feigned a hurt expression.

Sakura couldn't help but give a small smile, something that had become so rare for her that she herself was actually surprised. It had been a while since she had felt so safe and at ease. She missed those carefree times she had with her team. Running around chasing cats, painting walls, fixing roofs and what not. Now everything seemed like some far off dream. She would give anything for those days of before that she found quite tedious and boring.

The exam had kept her tension up. Every time she made a move, she had to make sure that no one was going to suddenly kill her. She had slowly realized that despite her fascination with causing bodily harm, she was terrified of dying herself. After all, didn't she give in to the whispers so she could survive?

Spending time with Sasuke and even Naruto, made her uncomfortable because she would habitually let her guard down so she had opted to avoid them as much as she could. Sasuke probably didn't care much but she felt guilty when Naruto flashed her a look of hurt.

Her paranoia with everything was draining her. It was probably what caused her to break down in front of her teacher. After confessing everything to her sensei, she didn't know what to do. He had merely stared at her, probably trying to see if she was Naruto doing some kind of prank on him or if she was lying to get out of the exams or whatever excuse he had thought up. She briefly recalled their conversation.

"Sensei, why do we kill?" She asked, her voice already hoarse as she looked up at him, briefly removing her face from his torso. After initially staring at her like she had grown another head, her teacher had awkwardly put his arms around her as a show of comfort.

Kakashi looked at her, possibly contemplating his answer, "To protect ourselves, our home and the people who matter."

That was what Kakashi said when she had told her sensei about everything that she had done. She had confessed to him her thoughts upon the death of Haku, about how she didn't want to give in at first, about how she had only lost herself in her madness when she felt that they would die in the forest of death and how she was so scared that Yoroi would end up killing her when he drained her chakra.

Instead of looking at her like she had gone crazy – which she probably did – he stayed quiet, not moving as she cried into his shirt.

He understood.

"You should never regret wanting to live, Sakura."

Sakura sighed.

It was so tiring.

So very tiring.

She closed her eyes.

Kakashi watched from above as his only female student's eyes fluttered close.

He had gone looking for the younger girl after doing his daily ritual at the monument. But even he had to admit, that his only female student was the one who plagued his thoughts upon his visit there. She continued stroking the girl's pink hair, trying to get his fingers through the entire length of it without snagging on any of the tangles.

He remembered a time when Sakura was so concerned about her hair. Now it looks like she barely finds the time to comb it.

And from the looks of it, she didn't even have the time to even clean her room. He looked around the small space, registering the different stuff scattered all about: Books and scrolls were all over the floor among piles of takeout packaging, on her dresser were bottles upon bottles of something he didn't know but vaguely looked like soldier pills, and he didn't even care to look at the assorted weaponry all over the floor.

He remembered the sweet little girl that he had been assigned to take charge of. She had been more obsessed with her looks and his other student but she was happy and had a good heart. Now, this girl was barely a ghost of that very same person.

It was obvious that this had been going on for a while. From what she had told him, it started after their mission to the Land of the Waves. Perhaps it had been a bad reaction to the death of Haku? After all, genin as green as them wouldn't normally be allowed to witness death, much less the death of a child. Killing the boy in front of his team was a bad idea, he knew, but he didn't have much a choice.

The incident had probably shaken her up the most. Naruto was too optimistic and Sasuke too experienced in such matters that he doubted that the two boys would have any problem dealing with it but Sakura always was the most emotionally unstable of the three. She had been born a civilian as well, so violence during missions was probably never explained to her. He remembered her shaking form as she told him about what she had done in the forest. Compared to that, what she had done during the preliminaries looked like a children's party.

Kakashi sighed inwardly.

Yes, this was just a bad reaction. She'll snap out of it soon enough.

She had to.

"I'll be training Sasuke for the exams," He said nonchalantly, "If you want I can probably teach you a jutsu or two."

Sakura picked things up fast. He honestly didn't expect her to advance this far which was why he hadn't prepared a teacher for her but it can't be helped now. It was his duty to prepare his students for whatever's going to be thrown their way, even if he can't fully devote his time to her, he can surely give her an edge over her opponent.

"I'll be okay, Kakashi-sensei," She smiled, never moving from her position, and somehow Kakashi felt like she won't be.

This girl was a lot like himself even more so than Sasuke was. While Sasuke and Naruto sulked or thrashed about in anger when they were depressed, Sakura preferred to suffer in silence. The habit that she didn't want other people to be concerned or worried about her, he believed she had gotten that from him. It wasn't very healthy but there isn't much they can do to change it.

He snapped out of his thoughts and realized that he was staring at his female student. He knew she was awake, judging from her shallow breathing, but she looked exhausted so he didn't want to disturb her. He changed his position and he suddenly felt a sharp pain on his hand, making him glance at what had injured him. He was surprised to find that the kunai she had held moments before had unwittingly given him a small cut and the metallic scent of blood permeated the air.

Sakura's eyes snapped open.

If Kakashi wasn't such a good ninja, he would've jumped in surprise when the girl suddenly sat up and began looking around frazzled.

"What happened?" She asked, her eyes wild.

Kakashi put his uninjured hand on her shoulder, "Maa, Sakura-chan," He said whilst trying to calm her down, "It's only a cut." He then proceeded to show her his right hand that was now sporting a small cut courtesy of a kunai stuck between her pillows.

He saw the young girl relax only slightly, her eyes staring at the blood slowly dripping out. It wasn't a deep cut, it just caught him off guard. Of all people he didn't expect Sakura to be sleeping with weapons in her beddings but it was good that she was cautious. She lived alone after all. Maybe he should do something about that.

"Sakura?" He asked, checking to see if the young girl was okay as she had spent the past minute just looking at his hand.

Upon hearing her name, she finally snapped out of her stupor before calmly taking his hand in between hers. He noticed her pause when the small trickle of blood stained her pale hands but she only blinked before they began to glow a pale green. Kakashi watched in amazement as he felt the wound on his hand close slowly but surely, surprised at his student's ability at healing that he was sure he had never heard of much less taught.

"Where did you learn to heal, Sakura?" He asked, as he slowly lifted his hand to his eyes to check if she had truly managed to fix it. The place where the cut had been was now smooth. Not even a scar had been left behind.

He glanced at his student who was still looking at him intently before she noticed his attention. She shrugged before gesturing to the pile of books beside her bed, "Books and practice. I haven't been able to sleep lately so I've been reading up but I can only heal cuts and scrapes."

Kakashi raised a brow, "It would've taken you a lot of chakra."

Once again, she gave a small shrug, this time not bothering to give him an answer. He frowned inwardly. Healing wasn't an easy task, one had to have a very good knowledge of the body although he knew Sakura to be quite intelligent, he was still surprised that she could absorb so information at one given time. Strength and deep chakra reserves were very important to a ninja but they was very common among children born into shinobi families, intelligence was not.

Not to mention that the amount of practice required to perfect healing, even wounds that were just skin deep, would probably leave her drained of chakra for a few days. That was usually why learning medical ninjutsu took twice as long than average ninjutsu. Also, it's why there were very few medic-nins.

He decided to save the lecture for later, seeing that she probably wasn't up for lecture right now, "I didn't know you were interested in healing."

He actually didn't know she was interested in anything other than Sasuke but the past few days were already changing his mind.

"I'm not," She said nonchalantly before picking up a book on the floor and began to read. Glancing at the thick text, Kakashi figured it had something to do with human anatomy.

"Why study it then?" Kakashi wondered. Thinking about it now, healing was probably an ideal skill for Sakura seeing that she already had near-perfect chakra control. With a little more practice and training, he was sure that she can still refine it to better even the more talented medical ninja.

Sakura didn't even look up from her book before saying, "When you know how to fix things, you can just as easily break them."

Sasuke glared at the wooden post as if it had offended him.

He thought he had grown strong. He graduated the top of his class, his skills unmatched by anyone in his year, but the chuunin exams quickly erased those thoughts in his head. He couldn't let go the incident in the Forest of Death, the fact that he'd been unconscious the whole time from who knows what. Perhaps it was his own fault, he had become too arrogant, too complacent during the past few years especially since he had joined Team Seven.

Team Seven had been too much like a family.

With Kakashi as their father-like figure, guiding them and teaching them, even if sometimes he acts like a total idiot. Naruto, trying to make everyone happy with his never-ending optimism and energy. And of course, there's Sakura. Being the only girl on their team made her special, she was always the princess and all of them had taken a silent oath to protect her.

Despite his displays of resentment of his teammates (and everyone for that matter), they had already gotten under his skin, making him forget about his true goal.

He was getting weak.

To think that he could only silently stand to the side because of his fear of his pink-haired teammate, but could he actually blame himself for that? Seeing Sakura bathed in the blood of their enemies made him realize a lot of things.

The most important of them was that he couldn't win against his brother if he was still this weak. Sakura even had to protect him while he and Naruto snoozed away their injuries by that snakeman that they had encountered in the forest.

"You will seek me to seek power."

Those were the words of that man that seemed to be invincible.

It was an invitation. However he knew that man most likely wanted something from him as well. Sasuke wasn't stupid, he knew that his offer wasn't out of the goodness of his heart and it made him hesitant. Whatever that vile thing had in store for him, would it be worth it to be able to defeat Itachi?

Naruto stood in the area for the participants alone. Where his teammates were, he absolutely had no clue and he was already losing his patience. Sasuke, he knew, was being trained by Kakashi, their sensei had told him that much but Sakura had gone missing the moment that the fights from the preliminaries had ended and he was getting worried about her.

He twitched in slight annoyance.

Sasuke he could do without, but he didn't expect even his Sakura-chan to be late for a such a special event. It was simply too out of character for her. Granted that Sakura hasn't exactly been acting normal lately.

"Good job, Sakura-chan!" He congratulated her as she approached him and Sasuke after her fight with that weird sunglasses guy that wasn't Shino.

"Ah, yeah." Was the only reply he got. He could clearly see the frown set on her pretty face and briefly wondered if she got injured badly.

"You should probably get yourself treated if you hurt anywhere, Sakura-chan!" He began, "The medics here are probably great if they think they could fix what you did to that guy!" He had meant it as a joke, but for some reason, he kind of believed it.

"Hn, he's probably dead." Sasuke added. Even though the proctor announced that her opponent was still among the living, everyone kind of doubted it.

Naruto smothered a flinch, "Shut up, bastard! Nobody asked you!"

"Sasuke-kun's probably right." Sakura replied, "But in any case, I should've checked if I finished the job."

He felt his face blanch at her words, and he was sure, if the sudden drain of color on his face making him even paler was any indication, Sasuke's did the same thing.

Naruto inwardly sighed. His female teammates had done a complete one-eighty, not only in skills, but also in attitude. At first he thought that it was Sakura-chan trying her best to impress the bastard but lately, she hasn't even tried to talk to Sasuke. Despite his dislike for his black-haired teammates, he wasn't sure if he liked that.

"Naruto!" He heard a familiar voice call his name, turning around he came face to face with the pink-haired girl of his thoughts.

"Sakura-chan!" He grinned happily, "You're late!"

She shook her head, "You're just early. The fights are just about to start."

He glanced at her rumpled appearance. Noting that she looked even more exhausted than she usually did, which was saying something. Her long pink hair was already starting to curl at the ends because of neglect and her eyes…

Naruto shuddered.

He wasn't sure but he thought that they had changed color or something.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, he decided to ask her about her fight today, "Who're you going against, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura shrugged prettily as they made their way to the stands reserved for the participants, "That boy named Inuzuka Kiba, I think."

"You mean Dog-breath?" Naruto exclaimed. He briefly remembered the boy from their time in the academy. He was really loud, and coming from him… Yeah, he was really loud but he wasn't so bad.

"Sabaku no Temari and Tenten, proceed to the arena!" The announcement was loud and clear. The two aforementioned kunoichi jumped from the competitor's box, landing on opposite sides each. Naruto didn't know either one of them.

Sabaku no Temari, he knew from her last fight utilizes that big fan that she always carries around. How she manages to lug it all the time, he had no clue. Tenten, on the other hand, the only thing he knew about her was that she was teammates with that spandex-wearing guy that Gaara literally pulverized.

"Oh great." The sand-nin said with a roll of her eyes, "Now, we just have to deal with that other freak and we'll have a complete set." She sneered, clearly talking about her opponent's team but the bun-haired girl didn't seem to be the least bit intimidated.

The girl merely snorted, "You can try attacking Neji all you want. I doubt you'd be able to touch him."

Naruto remembered the pale-eyed Hyuuga boy that did quiet a number to Hinata. As much as he wanted to give the idiot the personal beating he most probably deserved, he doubted he would win their fight that was to be held later on that day but he would definitely try. Hyuuga Neji was very arrogant, but he definitely had the skills to back it up.

"That's what they said about that green weirdo but hmm… I wonder what happened." The blonde taunted making half the audience gasp at her audacity.

The jibe against Lee had been enough and the other girl finally took the bait. With a growl, the Konoha kunoichi launched herself at Temari with everything she had. Scrolls flew all over the area whilst releasing a barrage of weapons, Naruto couldn't help but gasp at the sight in amazement.

"Tch. How boring." Temari, who hadn't even budged from her spot, merely opened her fan and with a swing, rendered all of Tenten's weapons useless with a huge gust of wind that made the crowd wow. Even Naruto had to admit that it had been pretty amazing.

He saw Tenten grasped a kunai that was flying in midair before throwing it again at the blonde-haired nin, hoping that it would connect while the other girl was busy preparing her jutsu as the fan looked difficult to wield. Everyone watched as the blonde-haired nin merely sighed, as if tired with a game and promptly appeared behind the bun-haired girl who wasn't prepared when one of the blunt ends of the huge fan hit her back making her fly across the area.

"This is getting boring pretty fast." Sabaku no Temari drawled, "You should at least fight back so I don't look like I'm beating up the weak."

Naruto watched, slightly feeling sorry for the Konoha-nin. This was a bad match-up. Temari's jutsu was probably the perfect counter for Tenten's weapons and everyone knew it. Some of the people in the crowd were already shaking their heads in slight pity.

"Might as well get this over with." He heard the blonde say before she disappeared again, appearing in front of the struggling kunoichi and promptly hit her with the end of her fan flipping her like a pancake in midair.

Naruto watched with the crowd as the unconscious body of the brown-haired kunoichi land on the fan's blunt end. Half the crowd cringed while the other half went silent. The match had gone so fast, it wasn't even a challenge for the sand kunoichi.

"Winner. Sabaku no Temari."

Some clapping was heard. Despite the fact that one of their own kunoichi was severely beaten up, they weren't sore enough losers not to give the Sand-nin the credit she deserves. She was skilled.

Ruthless, but definitely skilled.

"Sheesh. I'm glad I wasn't matched up with her!" He muttered under his breath. He could only imagine himself being thrown around the arena like that and it already made him want to puke.

"Hmm. Yeah," Then he felt a hand on his shoulder, "You should still be careful during your match though. That girl should've forfeited when she had the chance, it was clear enough that her weapons were no match."

"Don't be silly, Sakura-chan! You should always do your best!" He said as he turned to the pink-haired kunoichi beside him.

The girl looked very grim. Perhaps it was because of her previous match that she was acting like this, but he didn't like it when she acted so seriously. It felt like something was going to go terribly wrong.

"A live ninja is better than a dead one," She said, her eyes never leaving his. They were a strange shade of green that he had never noticed before, "Defeat is something we can accept, death is not."

Naruto couldn't help but stare at her, her words somehow sounded like they held a different meaning, "Sakura-chan…"

"But don't worry." She smiled at him, "I'll protect you."

Naruto knew he should contradict her. He should say that he'll be the one to protect her, that he and that bastard would save her time and time again if need be, but he couldn't voice out his thoughts.

It was because the smile on her face looked so sweet… so Sakura.

And so fake.

Before he could open his mouth, a loud voice interrupted him, "Haruno Sakura versus Inuzuka Kiba."

Hello there! I'm sorry this took me a while. Uni has already been taking up a lot of my time but I'm still planning to finish this! And to be honest, I'm kind of stuck in a rut. I'm not even sure why. Hahaha.

To answer some of your questions, I am aware of the timeline of events despite not reading the manga/watching the anime. I just chose to skip parts because I don't really think they were necessary.

From here on though there might be some changes, to suit my writing better (like not being good at fight sequences -_- ). Anyway, that's all I wanted to say I think.

Also, to answer one reviewer, I'm a girl. HAHA. My username is like OTP at 1/2 Prince :)) I SWEAR I'M IN LOVE WITH WICKED OKAY. Makes me sad that they didn't end up together (spoiler, sorry).

Thank you guys for all your lovely reviews! Especially to Rose Rain 7. I swear I take like around 5 minutes just to read a review from you but it's definitely worth it.

Please review! It really helps my writer's block.