Author has written 15 stories for Naruto, Star Wars, X-Men: Evolution, Harry Potter, Hellsing, Bayonetta, and Underworld. Greetings, my fellow authors and readers. My name is King Cairo, but just call me Cairo. Let me tell you a few things about myself: I'm currently looking for a beta. Please contact if interested. Name: Not telling. Gender: Male (Duh) Age: Still not telling. Height: 6'3 and loving it. Aliases: Naruto; Cairo Uzumaki, Yamikage of Kagegakure no Sato, Anbu Phoenix, and Anbu Bat Bleach; Cairo Kazarou, Captain Kazarou Sonic; Chronos the Hedgebat, Chronos the Shift, DJ Shift, G.U.N. Agent Chronos, Master Shift, Professor Hedgebat Star Wars; Michael Windrider (Jedi) and Darth Adrius (Sith) Marvel Comics; Daemon Osiris Munroe, Axion: Guardian of the Elements, Anubis: The Hand of Elektra, Maelstrom: Son of the Storm, Silver Spade: Sorcerer Supreme, Jason Anthony Soliden, Yurei: Ghost of the White Staff Harry Potter; Michelangelo (Angel) Jason Stone, Alexei Stillwell ...and mostly King Cairo. Basic Character Designs: Cairo Uzumaki (Naruto)- Michael Windrider/Darth Adrius (Star Wars)- Daemon O. Munroe (X-Men)- Akira {Cairo} Kazarou (Bleach)- Adrian Wise (Underworld)- Leon Stillwell {Nexus} (Matrix)- Copy and Paste:HOMOPHOBIA IS GAY I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them. I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson" Interests: Reading, writing, screwing with the laws of physics, sharp objects, manga, sharp objects, explosive objects, horror films, sharp objects, blunt objects, martial arts, sharp objects, nature, foxes, sharp objects, screwing with people's sanity, sharp objects, cooking, video games, sharp objects, my social life, ruining other people's social lives, sharp objects, decent music, decent artwork, sharp objects, comedy shows that don't suck, and sharp objects. Oh, did I mention sharp objects? Music I like: Evanescence, Linkin Park, Britt Nicole, Shinedown, Hollywood Undead, 3OH!3, LMFAO, Basshunter,Black Eyed Peas, Cassie, Breaking Benjamin, Drowning Pool, Dead by April, Eiffel 65, Evans Blue, Ke$ha, Kelly Clarkson, La Roux, Lady Gaga, Marilyn Manson, Michael Jackson, Papa Roach, Usher, Skillet, Three Days Grace, Daughtry, Flyleaf, All Time Low, Aqua Timez, Aly & Aj, Big Time Rush, Cobra Starship, Coheed and Cambria, Aerosmith, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Goodnight Nurse, Rihanna, Paramore, Red, Puddle of Mudd, Rise Against, Sara Bareilles, Victoria Justice, The Offspring, There for Tomorrow, Thousand Foot Krutch, Trapt, and Phil Collins. If you don't like my taste in music, take a number and go wait in line with everyone else who's waiting for me to give a damn. Now serving: NOONE!!!!! Favorite color(s): Crimson, Ebon, Cerulean, Emerald, Amethyst, Gold, Silver, and Jade. Btw, the colors are mentioned by their shades. Favorite food(s): Crab legs, shrimp, tilapia, bass, catfish, steak, baked potatoes, baked Alaska, chicken/steak Alfredo, bbq ribs, pork chops, fried chicken, and more... Personal Quote(s): Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these!? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give King Cairo lemons! Do you know who I am!? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down...with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon...that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!!!!!! King Cairo. (borrowed from Cave Johnson) Through war, I find peace. Through grief, I find solace. Through knowledge, I gain power. Through sadness, I learn to hate. Through kindness, I learn to love. In the darkness, I see the light. The Force is not split in black and white. I make my own way with the Force at my side. In Mind, Body, and Spirit; LET THE FORCE BE MY GUIDE!! Michael Windrider, A.K.A. Darth Adrius-Code of the neutral Force users (self-made code) Fire, Water, Earth, Air, Life, and Death. As long as I live, the Guardians live. As long as I can fight, I shall uphold the balance of the world. With the Ancient Deluvians and the Guardians before me as my guide, I will protect the world with my life. Daemon O. Munroe, A.K.A. Axion, Maelstrom, and Anubis Some people say I have anger management issues. I just want to say that I don't. I manage to get angry just fine. Cairo Kazarou, Former Captain of Squads 2 and 9 in the Gotei Jusan. Captain of uncounted Squad 14-the Shadow Squad. If you think the evil kids should stop being selfish with the Trix cereal and just give some to the stinking rabbit, copy this onto your profile If you have ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile If you have ever fallen backwards off of a chair, copy this onto your profile If you have read past 2 in the morning, copy this onto your profile If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile If you have ever had a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this into your profile If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile If you don't watch Laguna Beach, the O.C., or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. "I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone. If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men for giving you false hope so often (for snow days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob :) If you have a true friend, copy this into your profile If you read peoples profiles, looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy this into your profile If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a character you despised, whether it be a piece of popcorn, a fork, or a chair, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have WAY too much time on your hands and your on fanfiction.net with that time, copy and paste this in your profile. FAN FICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile. If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile. 98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies. 93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile. If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile. If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever had a random spazz out moment in the middle of class or a quiet room, put this in your profile. Chuck Norris Facts Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten. Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King. Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. Chuck Norris' evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard's curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths. If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris. Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC. Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane". The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned. Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises. Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking. A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words. When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side. When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris" When Ranma Saotome killed the Phoenix God King Saffron, Chuck Norris, being a half a world away, looked up in pride, smiled and said “that’s my boy!” Chuck Norris has a Chance in Hell. Originally the Joker was Chuck’s arch-foe, but one roundhouse kick later, his skin turned white, his hair green and he headed for Gotham. You really want to know how Joker got those scars? Chuck roundhouse kicked him in the face. The reason why Outworld hadn’t went for their tenth win against Earth realm is because Raiden threatened to get Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can defeat Darkside’s optic blasts with a roundhouse kick. (There os a pic of this on ) Chuck got Sparda, Dante’s father, out of hell. Master Chief is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris was sent ten thousand years to the past, met and married a goddess who in turn gave him a daughter. We know the child as: Sailor Moon. Chuck doesn’t wash his dishes, they get clean out of fear. I stole this from JazzyKat, who stole it from Crown-Daydreamer who stole it from Saphiress who stole it from Saciice who stole it from VampireWithTheGoldenEyes who stole it from Black7369 because it is indeed fricken hilarious: Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts: 1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. 2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office. 3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter. 4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick. 5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar. 6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination. 7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms." 8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. 9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month." 10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand. 12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force." 13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work." 14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot. 15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it. 16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive. 17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast. 18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day." 19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways. 20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor. 21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort. 22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy. 23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling. 24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full." 25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell. 26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate. 27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways. 28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees." 29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge. 30) I will not go to class skyclad. 31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core." 32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm. 33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers. 34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion. 35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends." 36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends." 37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak. 38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine. 39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts. 40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of its clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!" 41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck. 42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus. 43) I will not lick Trevor. 44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey." 45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween. 46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously. 47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions. 48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet. 49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice. 50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God. |
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