Amazing with great battle scenes. Thank you for sharing.

Victoria means victory not veronica lol

Diego Garcia is part of the Chagos Archipelago and is a political part of Mauritius. The US Navy and Air Force along with forward deployed units of the US Army and US Marines all are housed at Camp Thunder and the US Navy's deep water anchorage port. A vital part of operations in the Persian Gulf and the Indian Ocean, DC is the site of the US Navy's 6th Fleet's resupply forces as well as the global pre-positioned supply fleet containg vehicles and equipment to supply up to approximately 250,000 men including 2 full Armored Divisions, Air to ground Combat forces equipment, intermediate missile forces, food, uniforms... But you get the idea. Just an FYI.
The British Army and Navy also share in the duties as does a regiment of the Royal Canadian Armed Forces.

Love it!

Geez.

I know this wonderful story is complete, but I would be willing to beta it for you from the beginning so that you can re-post the refined version. This is a fabulous story, but it's difficult to get through because of the grammar, and tense mistakes. I hope I haven't offended you!

Love the story, so much that this is the 2nd time I am reading it :-).

I have found some spelling mistakes and thought you might want to know, will send them to you in PM.

wow... just wow... no words left...

Of course you put criminals, who merely got stunned in the infimary without any kind of security.
I don't know whre you got this idea not even wizards are so stupid.

I really love this story! Thanks so much for all your hard work, it truly is a work of art.

Thanks,

Layne

I know that this is an old story and I know that this is completed and beta'd. That still does not change the fact that you had a flight of Harrier jump jets drop a brace of 1000lb minor regulations.

The word is ORDNANCE, meaning munitions, things that go boom and turn living bad people into dead good people. The word ORDINANCE means a regulation that results in a minor fine and minimum time behind bars as it is a term that denotes infractions of the law, something that is akin to a parking ticket.

As a professional Aviation Ordnanceman, I should know the meaning and usage of the two words. I'm very disappointed in that you know what a Minimi and an FN-FAL are but not the proper spelling of a universal term for weapons. BTW, the Minimi was adopted by the US as the M249 SAW. Having been trained in its usage and knowing about it before its adoption I still prefer the name Minimi.

Question: I’m not super familiar with the military histories and/or capabilities of those attack helicopters you mentioned. How do they compare to the AH64 Apache? That’s the main army helicopter I’m super familiar with.

This chapter pretty much sums up the entire story. Solid ideas even with some tropes, some unique twists thrown into the mix to make things fresh and then some truthfully good writing mashed with cringe-inducing horrendous writing linking it all together.

Now practically all of that latter part is because the tenses are all over the place, constantly switching between past and present in a way that is unpleasant to read. It compounds the other writing errors to make them worse than they might otherwise be.

You have things repeated throughout the story or explained in different chapters, the example here is the soul bonding through Harry and Hermione's kiss which is then forgotten about as soon as Harry puts on the Potter ring so we can have the entire soul marriage conversation. This is also made worse by some tangents not being fully fleshed out. Dumbledore muses in chapter 3 that Ginny needed "nudging" to be part of the plan as her base personality wasn't how she is now, except the reader is then not told what this was apart from learning to stop asking questions about money.

My biggest issue with the story, and your writing in general, is that there's a lot of wanting to have everything at once. We've got a stealthy manipulative and controlling Dark Lord Dumbledore that has risen to the highest ranks of political control but also one who is a second Grindelwald with an entire army of the true Order perfectly capable of taking over Britain by force. It's as though you get caught up having all these great ideas and aren't able to decide which ones get left on the cutting room floor.

Sadly i have to give up. English is not my native language, but the grammar (especially the jumps between past and present tense) - sometimes even midsentence - is too distracting to enjoy the story.

I wish you would choose either present tense or past tense.
The mix you keep going makes it very hard to read.