All right, listen up -I strongly advice you against reading any of the two Twilight fics I published some six years back. I honestly don't know what I was thinking -maybe it comes with being younger and less experienced when it comes to English.

I believe my skills have developed quite a bit since then, and I'm just too sentimental to bring those two fics down. Besides, you begin with something, right? Also, I don't think I'll ever finish writing either of them and... I'm too lazy to publish the other things I've written and are actually complete, mainly composed of snippets and one-shots of various fandoms.

I'll likely change my mind sometime, though.

Not that I think anyone reads this or cares, but you know -just in case someone does.

Yeah, you.

-0-

Hey :3

Soy Ana, nací el 26 de Septiembre y vivo en Venezuela.

Me encanta, repito: me ENCANTA, leer- para ser específicos, no puedo vivir sin un libro (o fanfic) entre mis manos.- me entretiene dibujar y me gusta escribir.

Name- Ana

Hair Color- Almost-Black

Eye Color- Same as my hair.

B-day- Sep. 26

Interests- Reading, drawing and writing

Favorite numbers?

12, 3 and 7

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how??...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??...)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

-0-

And that's pretty much it.

-Ana V.