Unused Scenes

Or what happens after Loki gets back

"GOOD MORNING NEPHEW!" Thor boomed as he picked Tony up and swung him around.

"No, no, no," Tony said. "Thor, what are you doing? Wait, Dummy, no, don't!"

Dummy fired the extinguisher at both of them. Laughter and flashes from the ceiling vent meant Clint got multiple pictures of Thor and Tony hugging while covered in extinguishing foam.

"Barton! Get back here with that camera!" Tony yelled, kicking his legs out in an attempt to get out of Thor's grasp.

"So how many uncles do I have?" Tony asked.

"Just Thor and that idiot Baldur," Loki answered.

"Mind your tongue!" Thor yelled. "Baldur is-" Thor was interrupted by his tongue jumping out of his mouth.

"Mind yours, brother," Loki sneered. "It's getting away." Thor's tongue ran from the room and Thor gave chase.

The manly shriek that followed meant that either Steve or Clint had found the tongue. Bruce would have just hulked out.

"But, but, but," Steve repeated.

"He was a woman at the time," Tony said, patting him on the back. "And it's not like Howard knew he was anything other than a woman." Not that that would have changed anything. Howard's ego probably would have gotten larger if he knew he had married a god.

"But, I mean, he's Loki."

"Yes, thank you Captain Obvious," Tony said sarcastically. "I'd almost forgotten my mother was a psychopathic trickster god."

"How does that even work?" Clint asked.

"How does what even work?"

"Loki having a baby."

"You've been reading too many mpreg fanfictions Barton," Tony replied. "He was a woman at the time."

"He can do that?"

As if in answer, Loki walked by the open doorway in his most common female form that wasn't that of Maria Stark.

"Was that?"

"Lady Loki," Tony confirmed. "She does that all the time. Seriously, do you know how confusing my childhood was trying to figure out which pronouns I should be using for my mother? Eventually I just switched them to whatever gender she was using at the time."

"Brother! You have defiled my poptarts!" Thor yelled.

"Do shut up Thor," Loki said from the other room. Thor peeked into it to see Loki (in the form of Lady Loki) playing poker with Natasha, Jane, Darcy, and Pepper.

Thor paused in thought for a moment, and then continued, "Sister! You have defiled my poptarts!"

"Thor, shut up. I'm winning!" Darcy said.

"That's what you think," Pepper muttered.

"Read 'em and weep bitches," Darcy said, laying down her cards.

Both Loki and Jane scowled and glared at Darcy, but Pepper laid down her own hand, beating Darcy's.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Pepper asked. Darcy groaned.

"Sorry Pepper," Natasha said, laying down her own hand, and then pulling all the poker chips towards herself.