THIS IS FAIR WARNING THAT 95% OF MY STORIES ARE NOT SUITABLE FOR ANYONE UNDER 18 YEARS OF AGE. THEY CONTAIN VIOLENCE, GRAPHIC ADULT SITUATIONS, TONS OF CURSE WORDS, AND OTHER MATURE MATERIAL. IF YOU ARE NOT 18 YEARS OLD OR OLDER, FIND YOUR ENTERTAINMENT ELSEWHERE.

My thoughts, my words, and my personality are as clear as mud.

I write because I CHOOSE to, WHEN I choose to. I continue to publish my poorly construed fables online out of a childish impulse that I am too weak to snuff out completely, but the desire to share ebbs and flows more chaotically than an ocean tide.

Do NOT annoy me about regular updates or things you view as distasteful because I will laugh at you until you hunker down and slink back into the shadows from whence you came. We all have lives outside of fanfiction world, so you--whether author or reader-- ought to be aware of that before you start talking trash.

This is a community where not a single piece of work is canon nor is the product of professional writers, hence if you do not appreciate these works for what they are--works of FICTION WRITTEN BY EAGER AMATEURS with real lives and real problems away from their monitors, keyboards, and YOU--refrain from opening your mouth and spewing idiocy, then navigate away from this site immediately before your brain explodes.

Also, I have no love for grammar/spelling Nazis or rules lawyers. If you are any of the aforementioned, put a hand firmly over your yap, turn around slowly, and quietly move along before I notice you. And be careful that the door does not hit you in the ass on your way out, I just might drag you back to clean it.

Review...or not. I know many of you do not have accounts or lack the time to be able to do so. I can say that I've outgrown the constant need for back slapping and praise.

With that said, I have a deep respect for those who are brave enough to put themselves out there, even if it is only in spirit and written word. I will fry anyone who has a bout of verbal diarrhea about my or any other authors writing if they have never published--professionally or otherwise--any of their own works.

There is a big middle finger aimed at you jerks who choose to disregard my words.

Oh, and I've heard that the LU (Literate Union) and friends-like Critics United, Order of the Concritters, and LawlClan- are back on the prowl, trolling and harassing authors everywhere. You've tried to take me down before and LOST, so don't bother. I'm neither amused nor intimidated by your antics. Just go back to your corner and play god amongst yourselves, the rest of us have better things to do.

On that note, I am encouraging authors/readers to report any reviews/PMs you receive from any member of the LU or other gang-banging flamers club then IMMEDIATELY block them from being able to contact you. Always remember,

CYBERBULLYING IS A CRIME.

This concludes my curt and slightly manic rant, now back to your regularly scheduled madness.