28/04/2008

Two years ago I told myself I'd prune and revamp my stories, which where a motley collection of teenage romanticism (mary-sues inclusive and lethal,) one shots, and semi-started 'fics (which featured various rather Out of Character suffering darlings.) I told myself I'd change them for the better to reflect my new writing style, tighten them up for spelling and grammar and amongst various other things, make them better. Two years later and I... got halfway there.

Some of my writing is good and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but some of it is just plain not, and that makes me hesitant to continue with it. Several years ago, I was filled with self righteous fury at what I saw as a website filled with substandard fiction with precious few diamonds in the rough. My own arrogance led to me trying to 'one-up' those that I scorned, and my own results, quite frankly, weren't much better. Then I grew up a little and wondered why I bothered.

Now, I look at some of the absolutely incredible fanfictions available on the site (some of which deserved to be published in their own right, they are of such high caliber) and look again at mine, and find them sadly lacking.

I've read fanfics that had the power to make me love, laugh and cry right alongside the characters. I've read fanfics that take me aback, make me consider another point of view, or shed light on something previously unknown and unconsidered. I've been inspired by these works, yet my enthusiasm wanes in the face of my own.

Right now, I'm content to simply enjoy the delights on offer; truly, there are some INCREDIBLY talented author/esses on this website, and I'm grateful that they choose to share their work with us to enjoy.

That being said, what few fics I have left up, I will leave up, as a reminder of my own growth as a writer. Ice and Fire... I had ideas for that, and some semblance of a plot. At some point I'll return to it, but as of yet I'm not sure when that will be.

Right now, I'm trying to focus on my self and my confidence, to remind myself that I write for fun not out of a twisted desire to out compete others, that I write for the pure joy of it, and to eventually actually finish something that I start.

I do sincerely thank those that take the time to review my fanfics, however. I'm something of a ghost-reader myelf, and it's rare indeed that I actually bother to review (mostly out of sheer laziness.) So I really appreciate those people that take the time to tell me what they think, even if it's just a quick few lines.

BLANKET DISCLAIMER: Purely because I inevitably forget, I'm putting a disclaimer for all of my fanfics up here. Anything that isn't obviously from a canon source obviously doesn't belong to me. I do not, nor have I ever intended to, take payment or credit for any of the fandoms which I get to play in. Only original characters/situations/plots really belong to me.

And you've reached the end of my profile =) Have a nice day/night/morning/whatever!