A/N: Unbeta'd because I just had to post this and written because this thing wouldn't leave me alone. There's always so many innuendos in Fairy Tail it's not even funny, and that's what makes it funny for some reason. Grr.

So anyway, this one is dedicated to songstar13 who sorta prompted this~

Lucy is torn between screaming hysterically and kissing him. Honestly, it's leaning heavily towards the latter, which is kinda disturbing-

Natsu's hands are clenching the hem of her clothes, his strength threatening to tear the cloth apart. He's on top of her, grinning like a maniac. They're on the floor, and she's blushing. Damn it, why is she blushing when the situation is so completely, utterly ridiculous?

His breath is heated, drifting down her skin and sending goose bumps up her spine. His lips are pink and kissable- waitwaitwait, WHAT?

"Natsu," Lucy breathes. It suddenly strikes her that he's… attractive- no! "You can't take off my dress."

They shift on her apartment floor. She wonders why he's doing what he is on the floor when her nice, warm, fluffy bed is only ten feet away- and she did NOT just think about THAT kind of stuff with NATSU.

"Why not?" His voice is childish, almost a whine. His voice is deep, throaty, for crying out loud. It's sending shivers up her spine. Damn it all. Natsu isn't supposed to have this kind of image in her head- his hands are on her skin, and it's heated and warm and her heart is racing a million miles per hour.

"W-what do you mean, why not?" Lucy splutters frantically. He's doing funny things to her head. "Clothes shouldn't normally be off!"

"But I-"

"No 'buts'!"

"But it's for-"

"What did I just say?" She glares fiercely. Natsu shrinks back and she has a moment to bask in the power of her glaring prowess before the boy flees her apartment, screaming for his life. "That's right! And don't come back!" She adds a shaking fist for a good measure (but the hand is more 'trembly' than it is 'shaky', and Lucy thinks to herself that she's doomed).

She can still feel his hot fingers. Her skin is warm where he touched her-

-Natsu slams the door open again, yanks open a drawer and grabs a fistful of lace before making his escape, crowing his victory.

Lucy shrieks and attempts to run after him, but her body is sluggish and flushed and her mind is all hazy. Suddenly, a gurgling noise can be heard, followed by a choked-off scream.

Well, what did he expect? Natsu should have known that was her underwear.

The next day is the same as usual. Minus all the dirty thoughts in her head. And the constant blushing around him. And the fact that her skin is still warm, warm, warm-

-oh, who is she kidding? She's completely, utterly shaken from the day before. Lucy briefly wonders why Natsu had insisted on taking her dress before her mind trails off into deeper, darker territory…

….and suddenly, Natsu is there. And in one quick motion-

-he yanks her clothes off.

Lucy shrieks a high-pitched keening sort of noise and scrambles out of the guild in her underwear, her mind already getting ahead of her.

NowaynowaynoWAY. Was Natsu, like, some kind of pervert that wanted to get it on, even in public? That was waaaay off. No way. No freakin' way. Lucy sneaks a tiny glance behind her.

And there is Natsu, wearing her pink dress, pretending he's a, a Princess! And underneath-

-oh. That's mildly disturbing. He's wearing her underwear. Lucy squeals/chokesonherspit/- nononono. She should have known he would want her clothes for costume purposes and not, and not, and not-

The blonde hightails it out of the guild before her damn, perverted mind can make her do something she'll regret forever.

Or really enjoy. It's so hard to tell at this point.

-And then Natsu is in her apartment, stripping next to her bed. Oh, the implications! Lucy chokes on her spit at the thought.

"Sorry," he shrugs nonchalantly, as if he's not taking off a pink, frilly dress right in front of her. "Wendy asked me to play with her, and I had to be a Princess. And your clothes seemed pretty girly, so I-"

"That's no excuse for stripping me in public out of nowhere!" Lucy hisses, crossing her arms and looking away haughtily. Careful, Lucy, careful- no, don't look at his eyes, don't get too close lest you feel his body heat and-and start acting like a cat in heat, damn it-

A pause. "So does that mean I can strip you in private?"

Lucy whirls her head around to glare at him, to retort, to say something-

-Natsu's pretty much naked except for her lingerie around his waist. It's stretched and ohmygod, it's barely covering ANYTHING.

Lucy screams and throws him out of her apartment, yelling, "Go do that in your own home, damn it!"

It takes a moment to realize that she never denied his question. She buries her head into her pillow and groans.

And somehow, in the morning, he's there in her bed, curled up next to her and snoring. It's his heat that wakes her up. Lucy stifles a screech and manages to look at him, her eyes scrutinizing.

Natsu is actually kind of cute, she thinks to herself. Y'know, when he's not busy trying to strip her or steal lingerie.

She smiles very, very slightly and settles back under the covers; surely she can sleep for a few more minutes. And besides, the bed is somehow more comfortable than usual… there's something soft and smooth and warm-

-Lucy really does screech when she realizes that Natsu is completely naked.