Assets Ogling

Chapter 6: All Actresses Have an Innate Sense of Timing, Right?

It was time, Penny decided, to take matters into her own hands. She'd had enough of Sheldon's policy of looking but never touching, and it amazed her how often he really did give her swift glances that seemed impossible to interpret as the usual "check out" but together added to a larger picture, and that picture was that he was attracted to her.

She thought that was lucky, since she spent a lot of time doing the same thing to him, more often now that she realized that the reason he walked behind her on the stairs wasn't (or maybe was only partially) a matter of manners.

Today was the final straw. She had been placing her drink on the coffee table, setting it down with her food balanced in one hand, and behind her he had clenched his hands on his thighs and looked resolutely away. Penny did the customary check: was her drink on a coaster? Was she spilling food on the floor? Was there too much ice to soda ration?

When she couldn't figure out which of his triggers set him off, and why he wasn't berating her about it like he usually did, she approached the question from another angle, realized that with his surprising weakness for her bottom, that he was actually clenching his hands to stop himself from reaching out. It was such a guy reaction, but so foreign to Sheldon, that she had felt the thrill right down to her toes.

He had actually wanted to touch her. Sheldon. How did a girl not find that the most flattering thing to happen to her in months?

The time had come, and it looked a lot like later that night (because if there was one vice Penny would own to wholeheartedly, it was being impatient).

It was around the time when Sheldon finished with his nightly routine and settled down in front of the desk in his bedroom to write in his journal. Penny wondered if he chronicled what had happened this afternoon and all previous incidents. She also wondered if there was any hope at all that she could get her hands on them.

Dear Diary. Today I almost gave in to temptation and touched Penny. Tomorrow I will do better.

Only, he'd sound less like a thirteen year old girl and more like a genius physicist with a Spock complex. There'd probably be mathematical equations, big words he couldn't print all on one line, and references to dead guys. Or science fiction characters.

He's dead Jim! (in reference to his libido). Stuff like that.

He'd be thinking about her, that was the main point. He'd be reliving the sight of her bent in front of him and deciding that there was no reason he couldn't be impervious to her charms.

Or, at least that was what Penny was hoping, because she was about to show him the Perv in impervious, and he was going to like it. She took a deep breath, more convinced than ever that this was the right decision. Oh yes, it was. Sheldon wouldn't even know what hit him over the head and then climbed in his lap.

Penny burst into his room, barely noticing anything beyond the fact he was sitting in his chair, before she was climbing onto his lap, her knees on either side of his hips.

His eyes were wide with shock, mouth agape, and his hands... where were his hands? Her intention had been to grab them and put them on her round buttocks for him, but she couldn't seem to... oh.

She didn't know anyone but emo kids who called that journal writing these days.

This seriously could not go any better.

Right?

At least, once he broke out of his shock, there'd be less work for her to do.

He just stared, entirely stiff.

Penny licked her lips, finally finding his other hand on the armrest, fingers clenched into the meshed padding. She trailed her fingers down his hand, pulling his palm up when his hand twitched, and tightened his reach around her body so she was right up against him, her hand braced on his shoulder.

His eyes were still wide, body utterly still. "Sheldon?" she asked, wriggling a bit to encourage him into motion. She was getting seriously worried now, a massive freak out better than breaking his mind entirely. It was really just bad timing that something that should have freaked him out a little (and ultimately was probably a terrible decision on her part, but she was terrible at waiting, and impulsive, so...) was actually paralysing him with shock. "Sheldon, please."

Both of his hands had fallen away, completely lax and forgotten about. His entire body was tense beneath her, jaw clamped so tightly that she thought he might break a few teeth. What really freaked her out a lot was the fact that his eyes were completely unmoving, rarely blinking, but not focused on her face at all. They were focused on a spot behind her that would have been roughly where she was located when he first noticed her striding into his room.

Great, he was frozen like a computer. So much for the theory Sheldon was human.

"Sheldon, I know you're attracted to me and I'm attracted to you too, and I never would have forced you into doing anything but I was hoping to cajole you into allowing me to seduce you. Just this once, if that's all you agreed to, but I kind of thought maybe we could try to see if this attraction thing between us worked out, and... I'm sorry, ok? This wasn't what was supposed to happen. Just, don't hate me forever."

She backed off, trying not to really look at him as she fled out the door.

She was calling herself fifty different kinds of a fool as she emerged from the shower, her t-shirt sticking to her damp skin as she ran a towel through her hair, to find a very angry Sheldon standing in the center of her bedroom. She jumped, almost out of her own skin, and tried to skirt around him. "Is there a problem sweetie?" she asked, ignoring the elephant in the room.

"The problem," he said, advancing on her, "is that you rarely weigh the repercussions of your actions. You don't think, you just jump in feet first and then suffer the consequence of a broken leg."

She took a step back, hand fluttered by her side. She should be insulted, a tiny voice informed her, but for some reason she couldn't quite think why.

"Did you think I would be grateful you removed the stimuli that had be in such a state of... astoundment? That after your ill conceived attempt at seduction, I could just get on with my routine? Did you consider that I might not want a lapful of wriggling female, despite any perceived and imaginary evidence to the contrary?"

"Imaginary!" she yelped. "It wasn't..."

"Did you pause for a moment to look beyond your own hormone fuelled desires to consider the implications of your actions? Did you imagine my reaction would be that of one of your Neanderthal mates and ravish you when you were clearly disobeying at least three boundaries I had clearly set forth to negate such blatantly disagreeable actions?" His eyes were entirely focused, drilling into her face with the force of his wrath. "Worse, your inability to complete a task once sidetracked. You lack the commitment to follow through once things don't turn out your way."

"What are you saying?" she asked, startled to find her back hitting against the wall. She hadn't noticed herself backing up when challenged by his predatory advancement on her, and if she had she would have held her ground so she wouldn't put herself in this situation. Normally, it would be comforting to know this was Sheldon, but this Sheldon was an unknown entity, one she herself had created, and now she would have to suffer the consequences.

"You're gonna finish what you started," he demanded, the slight burr of Texas evident in his cadence.

Penny's breath stuttered.

"Sheldon?" she squeaked, voice an active high in shock and the fact she couldn't quite seem to get air into her lungs. "Sheldon, you're... sex?"

He simply stared at her pointedly.

"No, it's not... you freaked out!" she responded hotly. "You froze at just the smallest bit of contact. It's not... I've decided... no, Sheldon, I don't think that's a good idea. Maybe if you're interested we can work up to it and take it slowly so you have time to adjust to the idea, but right now we'd probably just start going and you'd freeze and I have no way of rolling you over to your apartment."

"Do not underestimate me once my mind is made. Are you reneging on your offer?"

Penny cut his assurances short by stripping off her t-shirt and standing in front of him without a stitch on, in a typical superwoman pose. She was expecting him to give her the deer-in-headlights look, his blue eyes wide and possibly terrified. Sheldon, of course, rarely did what was expected of him.

She realized, with his hand on her hip and his mouth against hers, that taking it slow definitely wasn't an option. Her back slammed against the wall and she wasn't sure if it was from him pressing her up against it, or her pulling him towards her, careening them into an immoveable object. His hand slid far enough down to draw her leg over her hip as she groped for his pant buttons.

Her heart was beating so rapidly she thought it was going to stutter right out of her chest. Every breath felt tight, and every moment felt so right and yet entirely precious because it was so unbelievable for Sheldon to be here, to be touching her. So unbelievably right.

"Yes," she groaned breathlessly, cleared her throat and stilled, moving her hand away from him. "Yes," she said more seriously. "I'm reneging. I don't think... I think you should stop if you mean this to be a one time thing, because I don't think I can offer that anymore."

Sheldon snorted, honest to god snorted, at her. "I don't change my mind lightly," he reminded her. "And when I do, I commit to the conversion wholeheartedly. There are no halves."

"Oh," Penny said, brow furrowing just the tiniest as she tried to pick up on whether he had just said he loved her or not. After a moment, she decided it didn't matter, because he had also used the word commit, and that was surprisingly good enough for her.

x.x.x.x.

Forget worrying about Mrs. Vartabedian Penny thought, she was going to wake Mr. Eisenhauer on the first floor.

Fin.

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this as much as I did. Brain Hugs!