Q. What did the penis say to the condom?

A. Cover me I'm going in!

Well fuck me with a chainsaw, now that I've broken the ice, welcome to my profile. Where the shit is stacked endlessly. Anyway, just so you know I am a super vulgar person. So expect that. Not for the faint of heart. I like to focus a lot on romance. I know, it surprises me too. Apparently I'm capable of that silly little thing called love and compassion, but eah. Whatever. I'm a helpless romantic. So there is a 86.23% chance that my stories will have romance crammed in there somewhere. Like a tootsie roll under a fat guy's man boob. I have no qualms with homosexual ships. In fact my one of my OTPs could technically be homosexual... depending on how you view Hanji. But I personally write her as a woman. So fair warning if you're not into that. I am a borderline sociopath, if not one already. I'm kind of a glass half empty kinda person, but that won't always be reflected in my writing. But god, do I love me some angst. I also use a lot of self deprecating humor when I talk to people. So if you talk to me beware of that. I DO NOT think I'm the second coming of Jesus Mother Fucking H. Christ or the hottest shit this side of Robert Downey Junior's left butt cheek. That being said... My writing will not be fucking perfect. I'm sorry to break the bad news, but it won't. I'm not the best writer, but I feel I'm getting better.

Any questions feel free to ask. I will always (hopefully) reply. If you do message me, my answer will probably have a lot of profanity. Not aimed at you. Unless you're asking for it or just fucking deserve it for being an asshat.

So I got a Tumblr. (Not that anyone really cares) It's nothing special yet. Don't really have the follower base to care. You have two to choose from. My RP one (yang-xiao-dork-rp). Then my RWBY-centric one (yang-xiao-dork)

Personal Quote: I don't like to get my picture taken. If somebody wants to worship my face, I'd rather them do it in person, so I can tell them to fuck off personally.

CURRENT AND UPCOMING PROJECTS:

CURRENT:

- All You Can Be: -let's out a long, drawn out, audible sigh- where do I begin... basically... my PC that I wrote this on... went Gallagher on itself, and me, being a fucking idiot, had no back ups of it... I was actually several chapters a head and well... now its gone. So, I dunno where it goes from here.

- A Light In the Darkness: Originally started this as an emotion dump. So I don't know.

- A Day to Remember: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *Wipes tears from laughing* I don't even know if the laptop I wrote this on works still.

- Broken: Deader than my dead Grandmother. May she rest in peace. Love you Gram Gram.

- Chasing Sakura: *Shrugs* Might do something with it.

- She's Worth the Pain of Love: I do intend to complete this. Just gotta re-watch Soul Eater and re-read the story. Get my muse back.

- Get Back on Your Feet: Something new and canon related in the RWBY franchise. It's in short, easy to digest parts and will have the Bumbleby pairing and maybe some Whiterose.

- Memories Lost: Another one with short easy to digest chapters, The chapter 3 document currently only says "I’m three fucking chapters in and I don’t know where to go from here… fuuuuuck!"

UPCOMING:

- Unnamed RWBY Bumblebee Road Trip AU (Temporarily named Ride): I am writing this. Five chapters in already. I'm going to get most of it done. Then post it. One can only hope though. But this project does mean a lot to me. It's going to be a long one. (First chapter is actually out to gauge popularity)

- Unnamed Attack On Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin LeviHan Story: Fuck. I meant to finish this by Christmas 2015, but got hit with the depressions. Woot.

- One-shots: I actually have several one-shots I'm in the process of writing. Ranging from a bunch of different categories. RWBY, AoT/SnK, and How to Train Your Dragon just to name a few.

Just letting people know. I lost a lot of work. I had a lot stuff written up on my phone and well, I had to factory reset the stupid thing. So yeah... That sucked a fat one.

Random Facts About Me:

1. My favorite Cards Against Humanity card is "David Bowie riding in on a tiger made of lightning". May that fantabulous man rest in peace.

2. I'm a shut in. Introvert man. Not saving the day because he's to terrified to leave the safety of the Introvert Cave. What? It has leather seats. Leather!

3. I've always wanted to live in the Colorado Rockies.

4. I also draw... occasionally.

So here will be all the members of Dragon 1-5 platoon. New and old. Alive and dead. It will also give a brief description of their death.

Dragon 1-5 Platoon Members

Sgt. Geoffrey Dunn

Cpl. Jonathan Ramirez

Pvt. 2. Jacob Porter (Deceased: killed in action in the mountains of Afghanistan)

Pvt. 1. Henry (Hiccup) Haddock

Pvt. 1. Eric Thuggory

Pvt. 2. Jason David

Pvt. 2. Derek Donaldson

RECOMMEND LIST:

So as the name would say this will be a list of stories I recommend to those who like my stuff. Every Fanfic listed here will also be in my favorites list.

How to Train Your Dragon

1. Chasing Thunderstorms - Foxy'sGirl: A lovely modern How to Train Your Dragon Hiccstrid tale. It has its emotional ups and downs and is beautifully written. The Characters are very believable and it kept me very captivated, which is good, because it's a long one.

2. Stages of Grief - Foxy'sGirl: The sequel\companion to Chasing Thunderstorms. This one is more on the depressing side and more sexualized. So I hope you can handle that stuff. Also a long one, but not quite as long.

3. Braced - Foxy'sGirl: The third and shortest of the trilogy, this one steps out of the depressing themes of the SoG and plays out a more humorous and somewhat smutty story.

4. The Past Defines The Future - NFS LOVER: This story is wow. It's still in progress and is my favorite "Hiccup leaves Berk" story out there. NFS really knows what they are doing and pack a butt ton of detail into it. I hope you brought your Bubba Kegs and favorite music because this is really long.

5. Tongue Tied - oh-you-pretty-things: Another smutty one this is the beginning of a much longer story that is yet to come. Sadly, we are still eagerly awaiting said story to be released Its descriptive and a fun read.

6. Prodigal Son - commandocucumber: Another Hiccup runs away story, so far this one focuses around whats happening in Berk in his absence and his adventuring. Also shows Astrid befriending a dragon for survival reasons.

7. Hold Me, Cure Me - Writer for the Tylwyth Teg: A collection of tales about Hiccup suffering from crones disease and Astrid suffering from cancer. Shows how they support eachother and all that jazz. Mainly Astrid supporting Hiccup, and Hiccup being her reason to live through the cancer.

8. Cold North Wind - sunflowerb: A oneshot that has a lot to do with how Valka is settling back into Berk and how she deals with learning just how grown up her son is.

9. License to Love - Foxy'sGirl: A modern AU oneshot about Hiccup and Astrid's first date. Lets just say Hiccup can be quite sassy, and that's very enjoyable.

10. Her Gift - Calico: A sad oneshot about Astrid being married off and her and Hiccup's last night together.

Naruto

1. Unpredictable Fate - New Years Tragedy: Holy hell did this one mind fuck me. It starts out as a typical modern NaruSaku story (Sorta) Naruto is a Marine on his way home to Texas after being discharged. he meets Sakura on the plane on the and it starts to unfold from there. The ending is what will get you. This is a must read.

2. Let Me Catch You - Noizchild Johnson: Never really specifies if it's Modern or not. But an AU none the less. Basically Sakura is in an abusive relationship with some guy and Naruto is like her shield. It's quite interesting but very explicit.

3. Konoha's Prophecy - narp37: Naruto is told a prophecy about the destruction of Konoha. From there it continues all leading up to the ultimate battle between Naruto and Madara.

4. 50 Percent Chance - Gingersoup - a Modern AU about Sakura being diagnosed with Leukemia and how she befriends Naruto, who appears to just live in the hospital.

5. Surviving Summer - KNO: Sakura is on a summer vacation. There she meets a very interesting cast of characters, but one boy with a bright smile and matching blond hair changes her outlook on life.

6. Missing in Action: MercuryPilgrim: team seven takes Naruto for granted again and again. But they don't what they miss until it's gone.

7. His Reality - ClutteredHailey14: Another mind fucking story. Basically a mission goes south and Sakura dies. Naruto goes crazy under all the pressure.

8. Land of Ice - wilkins75: Naruto leaves Konoha after Danzo takes over. Eventually, he returns to see if it is possible to save the declining state of his old home.

Soul Eater

1. Around My Head - Ambssss: Soul realizes his feeling for Maka, but It's already to late. Maka is already with Kidd.

2. Two of Us - Professor Maka: Soul's brother is getting married and asks Soul to come to the wedding. Thing is, Wes thinks Soul and Maka are married when they aren't.

3. Something Good Can Work - Khaleesimaka: A collenction of oneshots, but a very good collection. There is something for everyone. Chapters 10 and 16 are very much worth a look by the way.

South Park

1. Glory Days - prettyshon10: The boys are in high school now. Shenanigans ensue but will high school prove to be the ultimate test? Will it bring the boys closer or will they end up drifting apart?

2. Pink Lemonade - Post-twee: This one is an interesting one that I have yet to understand. It's still a very one read none the less.

3. The Life I Got - XXforget-me-x-notXX: Stan moves away, Kenny runs away, Cartman's mom dies and he skips town, and all that's left is Kyle. Watch as the boys find their back to their quite little mountain town.

4. No Place Like Home - XXforget-me-x-notXX: After collage, Stan is back in town with Kenny. Kyle is still gone and everyone from their class is still traumatized from the incident that happened their senior year.

Crossovers

Other