I collapsed on the bathroom floor, and everything was spinning. I wanted to grab onto something to steady myself, but I was sure that my hands would fail me. I felt so nauseous. Either I was about to throw up, or I just had. I honestly wasn't completely sure. I could barely keep my eyes open, let alone truly process what was happening around me.

There was light knock on the door. Or at least, I think there was. I kept being unsure until I heard a voice through the door. "Stan? You doing okay, bro?"

"I'm good," I answered, my words slurring together. "Jus' go back to the party, don' worry about me."

Kenny opened the door. "Dude, can you even form real words right now?"

I leaned against the wall, and brought my hand to my face. "I don' feel so good"

"God, drink much, Stan? What've you been doing in college?"

I chuckled. "Work."

"Well, that's just not what college is for."

The room started folding in upon itself, the colors blending and the walls caving over. I just got home after graduating from University of Denver, and Kenny insists on taking me to a party to celebrate. This probably wasn't a good idea. I wanted to un-drink those beers, un-drink those shots. Some celebration. "I shouldn't 've taken those last shots, dude…"

Kenny laughed. "See, this is why you should've partied more at school. You would've figured out your limits."

"Ugh. No party. No alcohol. Why" I whined.

"You'll feel better when you get to a bed," he replied, throwing my arm over his shoulders and propping me up. He half dragged me around, and I heard the loud music and people talking. I'm pretty sure someone came and asked Kenny if he needed any help, but I was almost passed out already.

Kenny dropped me on a bed- presumably Craig's, since it was his house- and threw a blanket over me. "You gonna be okay?"

"I think so," I mumbled, drifting away already.

He moved the trashcan next to the bed. "Just use this if you need to throw up. See you tomorrow, alright?"

"Kay" And then I was out.

I was awoken by the sun shining directly on my face. I tried to turn away from it, only to realize that I had a splitting headache. The movement hadn't helped, so now I was awake, still nauseous, and my head was pounding. I lay there for a while longer, hoping I'd just go back to sleep and not wake up until it had gotten dark again.

I don't know how long I lay there. It must've been a while, because the sun appeared to have moved away from me. My mouth was completely dry. I don't remember ever being this thirsty in my life. But I just knew if I stood up, I'd either puke or my headache would bring me right back down. I tried counting down from ten several times to motivate myself to stand. I intended to get up when it got to one, but that just didn't seem to be happening.

I swear, I was so close to getting up, I was just about to. Then the door swung open.

"Rise and shine, cupcake!" Kenny said, in the cheeriest voice I have ever heard from him.

I groaned and shoved my face into the pillow. "Go away," I said, my voice muffled.

"That's not very nice, Stan. I brought you water!" He said, acting overly offending.

"Water?" I said weakly into the pillow.

"Yes, but you have to lean up to get it," he replied, sitting next to me on the bed.

I leaned up slowly, propping myself up on my arm. My head started pounding even more, to the point where I swear, I could hear the thumping. I groaned again, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I'm never getting drunk again."

"Don't blame the alcohol for your own mistakes," he replied. "Just 'cause you don't know your limits."

I took the water from it and drank the glass in about three sips. "I need more water."

"Well, I'm not a waiter today, get it yourself."

I whined a bit. "But my head hurts so much."

"Fine, I'll go get you another glass," he said, as he started to get up. He paused for a moment and then snapped his fingers right next to my ear.

I flinched and he laughed. "That seemed unnecessary.."

"Maybe. Funny, though," he replied as he walked out the door.

I stood up, head still swirling. I leaned against the wall, bracing myself on the headboard of the bed. I have never been this hungover in my life. I guess maybe Kenny is right. Maybe I should've done more drinking in college. Truth is, it's not that I didn't want to drink, or that I was too busy studying. I just didn't have it in me to go to parties or bars. All the shit that happened here really messed with me, and I just didn't know how to deal with it, I guess.

I barely wanted to come back to South Park after graduation. I was kind of hoping I could just get a job in Denver and stay there. I'd have to get an apartment, though, and actually find a job with my oh-so-useful English degree.

I guess Kenny's been doing well, working as a waiter and drinking his way through his days off. He's probably pretty happy now that he can get alcohol at a party instead of at the bar. He told me that he was really excited to see everyone who was back from college, but even more excited because Craig got a keg for the party.

Kenny came back with more water and I drank it just as fast as the last cup. "Okay, I'm starting to feel like a real person again."

"That's good, because we have stuff to do today!" Kenny said, sounding so annoyingly sunny I wanted to throw something at him.

"Not for at least fives hours," I replied.

"Really? Because I was thinking we could go go-karting, or watch an action movie, or go to a sports game, really anything where there's just a lot of noise."

"I hate you sometimes, Ken."

He laughed. "I'm sure I deserve it. Anyway, you should probably get home. It's six in the morning, and if you get there fast enough, you can sleep for another several hours."

We said goodbye, he said he'd call me or text me later, and I left. There were several people sprawled across the couches, and some just lying on the floor. I saw Tweek with whipped cream in his hair, Clyde with sharpie on his face, and Bebe with lipstick spread across her cheeks. Must've been a fun night, I guess. Too bad I was passed out for most of it.

I got home and collapsed onto my bed, dreading having to spend my first real day back hungover and dreading who I could run into.