A/N:

*peeks out from behind laptop*

Okay so I know its been like... 3 years since I published something. But in my defense, high school has been kicking my arse since I became Key Club Lieutenant Governor, and it just generally sucks. I promise, I meant to publish those short stories I promised a long time ago. In fact, have of them are half written in my computer! I've just had terrible luck with technology- I've lost two iPods, broken two computers, and lost/broken 4 phones. All of them, mind you, used: I'm not made of money.

Before anyone judges me or hates me, let me explain: Many of the stories I wrote were mental drabbles, and with school they became progressively harder to finish. Also, I was helping my little sister with the fic, New Girl, she has been writing for the Gallagher fandom. Check it out, from hastagbrethren. I'll try to get her to update that too. This fic is something new and something that makes me very nervous: not only is it my first in the HTTYD fandom, its also my first multi-chapter, and my first step into the adult realm. I warn: I don't mean it's going to be smutty, though I can't assure it won't get a little heated later- I just mean it concerns some big-girl stuff.

Gosh, I'm rambling aren't I? I'll just shut up and let you read the rest, and continue my author's note later.

Astrid was used to keeping a carefully polite give-no-fucks expression to every customer in the store.

It came with the territory really. Working in an 'erotic boutique' (layman's term was just 'sex shop'), you saw all sorts of things. Making faces at the kinky couple who bought a saddle and furry handcuffs wasn't exactly the best way to increase sales. In fact, one of the first things she was taught when she was training was 'Never be surprised.' She had done her best to follow that rule. After a few awkward encounters (she will never be able to forget looking at her latin professor buying a dildo. As in never.), she caught on to the rhythm of things and eventually stopped seeing faces. Customers became expressionless, genderless money-contributing sex-enthusiasts. And after 6 months of working at Centre D'Erotica she had seen every level of weird that could possibly exist. She knew the store like the back of her had- where to find what customers were looking for- She even knew the regulars.

There was Snotlout, a stocky, short, college linebacker that came in every week with a new list and a terrible pickup line. He always made a point to buy a package of large condoms and wink at her every time he came. She always ignored him.

The Jeffersons, a middle-aged couple who had one crazy plan after the other to amp up their sex life. She suspected Mrs. Jefferson had read Fifty Shades of Grey a few too many times. The only good thing was that she was always very friendly and gave Astrid a Hershey's bar on the way out. It would be a lot more pleasant if she didn't suspect they were trying to rope her into a threesome.

Ruffnut was a psych major who dropped in every once in a while and made small talk with Astrid about the complete stupidity of the male species. Ruff was what Astrid would value in a friend, had they not met at the local adult store: She always had a funny story to tell about something crazy that happened in her political science class or from her latest one-nighter, was sassy, and remarkably shameless. If Astrid hadn't become too familiar with the type of lubricants she used, she would not have minded going with Ruff out to a bar for a girls' night out.

A few other customers would come in on occasion, but those were the ones she knew the most. It actually became less awkward, knowing the customers, because it became less what -is-your-sex-life and more how's-your-sex-life-going-these days. She knew what they liked to get and how to be a good salesperson. Surprising, but true.

One thing should be made clear- it's not like Astrid had ever specifically wanted to work in a sex shop. She didn't have a fascination with intercourse or anything, and she didn't even care for (most of) the stuff she sold. She just needed a job, a flexible one that paid well, and when her ex-boyfriend had forced her into the store on one of his 'kinky-kicks', she had seen the Help Wanted sign and this one had just sort of… fallen into her lap. So there she was, twenty-two years old, pre-law student working at what should probably be, but wasn't, the most awkward job in the world.

Besides maybe a middle-aged male gynecologist.

But that had been before.

The Tuesday when all of her real struggles began seemed like any other Tuesday in December. She was cataloging yesterday's sales while trying to remember what answer she had put for question thirty-seven on her Philosophy of Law final the previous Friday. She couldn't remember if it had been A or B, but she knew the answer was B and her professor still hadn't put in the grade and she was feeling frustrated. She punched a key on the register unnecessarily hard, and the door to the store opened, letting in a cold rush of air.

Like she had said before, working in a sex shop keeps you from being surprised by even the most unusual situations. And even when you were surprised, you become particularly adept and hiding it. So when she saw the incoming customer, she only allowed herself a brief eye-widening before it fell back to her default how-may-I-help-you expression.

Astrid had learned to ignore faces when dealing with customers, but sometimes that particular skill failed her. This was one of those times. She had had her fair share of nerdy, virginal guys come in looking around with a mixture of awe and terror, reeking of recently-googled pubescent questions. They bumbled around awkwardly, before buying ridiculous merchandise no one on their right mind would spend money on. But this guy?

For one, he wasn't exactly nerdy- At least not in the conventional way. Sure, he was undoubtedly lanky, and he had the awed-terrified expression down to a tee- but he was more lean muscle than he was scrawny fishbone, and his sharp jawline was lined with what seemed to be five o'clock shadow (it was 8 in the morning? What the Hel?), and when they made eye contact across the store she saw his eyes were a brilliant green that made her take a double take and for some reason that annoyed her. Despite his obvious physical attractiveness, he was wearing a Legend of Zelda t-shirt, clutching clutching a laptop bag like a lifeline, and when he took his first step towards the counter, his elbow hit a rack of vibrators and knocked them down to the floor.

So yeah. An hot, unconventional nerd, but a nerd all the same.

She let out an unladylike snort as he stared at the mess with a horror struck expression, that only intensified as a few of them became to vibrate on the floor like electrocuted worms.

'S-sorry, sorry,' he stammered in a voice that was an odd combination of nasally and low. 'I-I-didn't see- sorry-'

She let him suffer for for a few moments more before the good employee in her finally said, 'Don't worry about it. We'll pick that up later. What can I do for you?'

Astrid didn't think it was possible, but his already red face turned even redder, which should have made him look like like a cherry tomato but instead made his already brilliantly green eyes shine even more. 'Right,' he blew out out a breath and rocked forward slightly. 'Well, um, you wouldn't happen to carry liquid latex, would you?'

Astrid refrained from raising an eyebrowe and took a cursory glance around the shop. 'I believe we do over there.' She motioned to her left, where there were several different sized labeled containers on a shelf. He nodded once once and muttered thank you, avoiding her gaze, and walked awkwardly to the shelves. She smirked as he carefully sidestepped around the rack of inflatable dolls.

The girl turned her attention back to the log book and wrote in the last few sales. By the time she was done, the customer was back and shifting his weight nervously. She glanced up and he set a bottle on the counter.

She grabbed it and rang it up, smiling at him politely as she took the cash he was holding and saying, 'Did you find everything alright?'

He blinked, as if he was surprised she was talking to him, and gave her a nervous crooked smile. 'Oh, yeah, it was fine.'

Placing the bottle in the bag, she handed it to him and watched him turn to go.

'Have a nice day,' She said.

He glanced back at the her. 'Thanks. You, um, you too.'

Once he had disappeared out the door, Astrid returned to her chores, but she found herself wondering what the heck a guy like him needed liquid latex for. He definitely didn't seem the type to have kinky fetishes, and the (few) people who had been in there to buy it just… well. He just didn't seem to be the type.

He was cute. Like… really actually very cute. And he was dorky. Extremely dorky.

Astrid shook her head, admonishing herself. She didn't really have time to eye attractive-nerd-guys-with-suspicious-behaviour. She had bigger things to worry about- like the fact her dog had torn apart the bathroom door for the third time that month. Seriously, what was wrong with that animal?

Any final musings on the green-eyed boy vanished when the bell above the door rang and her least favourite regular sauntered in, sneering out, 'Hey babe, you're a nine out of ten- and I'm the one you need!'.

It was going to be a long day.

*sweats nervously*

See what I mean?

Okay the inspiration for this hit me last Tuesday from an event that actually took place- though it did not involve any potential romances. I'll elaborate later, when it doesn't possibly ruin the story. I swear, I wouldn't have written something potentially dirty if I didn't feel particularly interested in the plot. I just really hope I don't disappoint.

I'll be updating a few chapters to see the general reception. Reviews mean 'yes' unless you specifically say 'ew stop.', in which case I will lay down my figurative quill and stuff my face with comfort food at a failed idea. If you want continuity, review! If you don't, review.

Seriously, just review.

I've missed updating more than I can admit.

-VolleyballGoddess