"Modern AU"'s aren't fanfiction.

Also, "Its them but set in and they're all just ..." Example.. Characters from MCU, a mall, they're employees/customers at said mall. Like... wut?

They're not Fanfic. They're Original wearing the literary equivalent of said characters faces.

they can fuck right off.

Like...

"Skye is a Singer, and at a concert meets this cute redhead who introduces herself as Natasha". First: It must be SKYE, the HACKER who can are maybe already is superpowered, who unknown (or known?) to her team, has a singing career that may or may not be a cover and source of money that means her 'I live in a van' really was by choice. And in the background, Iron Man, Thor, Captain America etc STILL EXIST AS WE KNOW THEM FROM THE FILMS. INCLUDING NATASHA!

Second: If you say it's natasha, it's the SPY natasha, not a '_charactername_ In-Name-Only'

Sigh. Time travel bunny. Again. unenthusiastically: Yay.

Harry Potter

At the age of like, 7, (He's actually older. Time travel like in NoFP and so many others. duh.) Harry decides to troll Snape, by writing to him as a "fan of your potions work" and wanting to learn about potions and potion-making etc. Anyway what started as a long-term prank thing... drastically changes Snape's attitude towards harry, as the man eventually figured out who it was (though not by the addressing, He addressed replies to "My Fan" the first time and then just "HJ" thereafter.)

Anyway the letter goes something like this. (spelling mistakes within of course, he's pretending to be a seven year old.)

Dear Profesor Sevrus Snape. I am a fan of your work, being able to do magic without a wand and the like. I am seven years old and in a few years if I am accepted into Hogwarts think I would love your class. I love magic but unfortunately I currently live with my non-magical aunt and uncle so I don't get to see much and it is against the law I think? I'd love to do some magic now, but if I have to wait, then I would like to at least read about real magic, the kind that I maybe would not get in trouble for doing? Other magic like chance and trainsuring would get me in trouble, but potions? I was hoping you could recommend any good books for the aspring young potioner?

Your fan, HJ, Number 4 Privet Drive.

p.s. Is it true the slifrin house mascot is a snake? I like snakes, they don't bother me like all the cats in my naberhood. And If you could arrange for reply delivery by nonmagic means if its not too much trouble? my cousin is allergic to owls.

Yeah I don't know what spelling mistakes a seven year old would make, but then again this Harry is only pretending to be one... or rather, seven as it were. so. This is the 'spirit' of the letter. (I imagine the letter itself woudln't be within the fic, just described and alluded to). I do, however, imagine Snape, if he were indeed to reply, would correct those mistakes, recommend a good wizarding dictionary (to help with comprehension of -) with the potions book that's normally the one first years get for the subject, and, after like, a few back-and-forths where he "accidentally" figures out the relatives dont like magic, arrange for those books to be delivered by say, some 'delivery service' from Flourish and Blotts.

Anyway, this starts up a long-distance sort of pen-mentorship or sorts that Harry finds hilariously disturbing or disturbingly hilarious, and isn't sure which it actually is. But... he DOES learn potions... starting with the book he didn't actually read much of the FIRST time. (And realizes, no wonder Hermione was so good at the subject. If the fic is one where potions has like a, "Reactions table", it's in that book. "How to properly prepare ingredients"? yep. Literally it's a primer guide, if you read it as one, instead of like Harry and Ron did, as in... not at all/except as required. Harry feels like an idiot when he realises this (read: Snape describes the book as the proper primer guide for first years, but unfortunately too many of his students don't bother to read it so he's pleased someone wants to actually put in effort to actually learn the craft from the ground-up. aka attitude/education-shaming Harry into putting actual effort in.) Each of the potions it has directions for literally are meant as starter potions in helping to learn the various different aspects of potions making in the safest manner... even if the intended results of such potions are not really what a level-headed person wants to TEACH some ELEVEN year olds how to make.

So yadda yadda, and Harry starts at Hogwarts, and notices that snape looks right past him without recognising him... A potions mishap may have altered his hair, and he may have wanted to keep it that way (hiding his scar for one, making him look less like James for another). But Snape DOES hear Hermione call him 'HJ' during the sorting (he has good ears? Magic? He knows this is the year for someone caleld 'HJ' and is looking for Harry Potter, because he thinks it HJ might be Harry Potter and is hoping it isn't.)... And then Harry's name is called and everyone is like, "WTF, I thought Harry Potter had Black Hair? This kid's a Red Head! And Not Ginger Red like a Weasley, but Red Red!"

As he approaches the stool and hat, he looks at Snape who just raises an eyebrow, and he glances at his hair, shrugs and says, "Oops." Making the man snort a little in amusement.

Suffice to say the exchange is noticed by the entire staff.. and Dumbledore is somewhere disconcerted that Snape and Harry apparently know one another.

Harry ends up in Hufflepuff... for the LOLs. Hogwarts is... both amused and horrified. Harry explains it as "I put in a lot of hard work getting here. The hat saw that and shouted hufflepuff before it could look for ambition or bravery or smarts!" (The hat sorted QUICKLY as he was practically shouting it in his head :D )

The First Potions class is... interestingly different. Snape talks about Safety in his classroom, along with asking if anyone had NOT already read the first chapter of the textbook. Which... is most of the class. He waves to Harry to stand up, and asks which Safety precaution did he NOT put in place when he had his, mishap. Harry describes the incident that changed his hair colour, etc, and adds that he was lucky to miss most of the blast... the neibhours cats didn't and they never did find Miss Piggles The Second OR Third... and his Cousin was in hospital in a coma for three weeks before he had a chance to get the antidote to the effects to him... and adds 'Muggle Hospital' and explains shortly, 'I lived with muggle relatives'... and he hasn't forgotten to take safety precautions in the three years since.

So... shocking the class into realising their 'new celebrity' has a headstart... and that potions made wrong can go wrong severely enough to warrant weeks in a hospital.

And the potion harry was making? "Oh, It was just a Permanent Hair Colour changing potion." And at 'So it worked?' is replied with, "No, I was going for Silver and Green, because I wanted to be in Slytherin just like my favourite professor was!" Snape isn't sure if he's joking. (He is joking, though it was a hair colour changing potion, but only as effective as muggle hair color changing products... which at this point, half of them, not very effective, are muggle and half, effective for weeks ones, made by squibs based ON the potion in question. And the intended colour was indeed Red. It just became... permanent by accident, because his blood got added (by a punch from dudley) right before it exploded, hence Dudley in a coma. Potion blood-locked to Harry? bad mojo.

um. That's the idea. ... *sigh*.