Flashbacks and thoughts are in italics. Glass is the first instalment in a series of works, which are all part of the Stargate Universe: Ninth series. The next instalment, Echo, will be a three-parter in which Eli's fate at the end of season two is revealed. Part One, Potential, will be up on Monday 8th April! After that comes a trilogy...and this adventure will change the crew of the Destiny forever. Any feedback is much appreciated, hope you enjoy! :)

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Stargate Universe: Glass

Part Two: Found.

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Time has only ever stood still for Eli once before. That day in Ginn's quarters, seeing her body just lying there on the floor, limp and lifeless as a ragdoll. In that moment everything stopped. The whole world ground to a halt, frozen, and then shattered like glass. All in an instant. An endless, fleeting second. But this? He can't speak. He can't move. He can't breathe. The entire universe has paused like Ti-Vo, but there is no shattering this time. Nothing is falling apart. Nothing is dying. Instead, it feels like all the pieces of his life, himself, are falling back together after an eternity apart. He's pretty sure his heart has stopped mid-beat in his chest and his lungs are paralyzed, but a long-forgotten sensation is filling him; it spreads out to the tips of his fingers, every nerve and cell in his body. In this single moment, he feels warm and light again. He feels alive.

"Eli." It's Chloe's voice, her lips that form his name, her lips that suddenly break into a dazzling smile. But inside, it's her. He isn't seeing her beautiful face, her curls, and it's not her smile – but although he'd doubted it, hadn't dared to believe...it is her. It may not be her voice that he hears, but the tone behind his name is unmistakeable. No one else has ever said his name that way, so gently, like he's the only thing that matters. It's not her body, but he doesn't care – it's her mind. And if her consciousness is talking to him from Chloe's body right now, that means one thing: Ginn's alive.

All of a sudden he feels very light-headed, the world a little off-balance beneath its glaze of tears, and Young ushers him into the empty chair at the table before he can keel over where he stands. While he grapples with his inability to speak and makes a concerted effort to remain conscious, she reaches over the table, still smiling, and brushes away his tears with her thumb. She's Not Gone. It's like everything he's experienced these past few weeks has been some awful, terrible nightmare that he's only just waking up from. Like being submerged all this time in water, not quite reality, before finally being allowed to resurface. As the shock wears off, Eli feels like he hasn't breathed for a lifetime; and now he can't understand how he even survived at all without the woman sitting here in front of him.

He sees Chloe. He feels Ginn.

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"Look at you," she breathes, tugging lightly on his loose shirt with hands that are not her own. He knows she's referring to the drastic weight loss that grief caused in him, the way his clothes hang off his frame as if a size or two too big. It's not that noticeable and no one else seems to have commented, but she could tell the instant she saw him and worry has been gnawing away at her ever since. Ginn looks at Eli with wide, hurting blue eyes and he can't meet her gaze, can't face the fear there; he bows his head and focuses on his feet instead.

"Ginn, I – " he begins, but she cuts him off.

"No, you're not fine," she insists. Almost tentatively, she lifts a hand – Chloe's hand – to his face and brushes her fingertips over cheekbones that never used to be so prominent, dark circles and creases that never used to shadow his eyes or haunt his brow. Exhaustion is etched into every single inch of his features. "You're so thin." Her voice wavers, just for a moment, and he summons the strength to drag his eyes up from the floor and find hers. Pale blue, not the hazel-brown he loves. Black curls fall over her shoulders instead of crimson. Chloe is one of his best friends but it hurtsto look at her and know that his Ginn is trapped in her body, confused and afraid – because she is, no matter how well she hides it he can sense it deep inside. And every now and then she slips away, into some dark, unknown place where he can't reach her, and Chloe comes back out. It consumes his every waking thought, but he has no idea how to help her and it hurts. Raising a hand to cover hers on his cheek, Eli tries hard to sound confident. For her sake.

"I will be now that I have you back," he tells her, wishing with every fibre of his being that he could have her standing here in front of him. Ginn instinctively knows he's half-lying: the stress and guilt over not knowing what to do will continue to wear him down in the place of grief. But she picks up on the sentiment behind his words, and also knows that he would rather have her alive in someone else's body than gone somewhere he can't follow. She manages a weak smile, pushing down a need to cry that rarely rises in her.

"Even though I'm stuck like this?" she murmurs in a hushed, hoarse voice that should not be coming out of her mouth. Barely a heartbeat passes before Eli slowly nods.

"Even though you're stuck like this," he answers, and he means it. Living without her is torture – even if he has to share her with Matt, he'll take this over losing her a second time. No hesitations, except as to whether or not her host will be so consenting. Ginn looks at him for a long moment through the lens of Chloe Armstrong, thinking. She circles her thumb over the rise of his cheekbone, her hand warm under his own. His dark orbs flicker over her, taking her in, striving to see through the cage to the woman he loves imprisoned inside. Then she whispers,

"Close your eyes." Eli pauses, fleeting confusion passing over his face, but he doesn't question her. He does as she says. Once he can't see, Ginn slides her hand out from beneath his and, twining them together, lowers their hands and reluctantly lets go. With a few extra inches added to her height she doesn't have to stretch up on her tip-toes; she reaches up and starts to sift her fingers through his dark curls, and Eli's breath catches in his throat. Each gentle tug feels exactly the way it used to when she lay awake and stroked his hair instead of sleeping. And then her other hand comes up and entangles itself too, and he tries desperately to pretend that it's Ginn touching him. He imagines that it's her hands, her body pressed up against his, her light, sweet breath on his mouth. Emotional stability be damned.

She knows she's pushing it; that she's in Chloe's body and she shouldn't really be doing this. But nothing sounds or tastes or feels the same, it's all different and strange and frightening and she just wants to feel something familiar. Something safe, something known. And even if closing his eyes is the only way to do it, she wants Eli to feel it, too. Blind, it's easier to recall all the other times her nose has brushed his – and then soft lips, and he's convincing himself that it's Ginn kissing him in her quarters that morning before Camile interrupted. She intends for it to be just one brief, reviving kiss. But several moments pass and they don't break apart. Instead Eli's heart jumps double-time in his chest and he responds automatically, still imagining her as his hand finds the small of her back and pulls her closer. Somewhere in the back of his mind screams a voice that this is wrong, to be kissing another woman like this – but although it's Chloe's body it's Ginn in there, and she's the one that he's thinking of.

And then someone clears their throat loudly and they both break the kiss, lifting startled gazes to the open door of his quarters. Scott is standing there. Immediately they spring apart, putting appropriate distance between themselves, but the damage has already been done. He's white as a sheet, and can't look either of them in the eye. Eli's heart plummets. Guilt begins to well in the pit of his stomach. What the Hell was he thinking? Awkward silence blankets them all and he searches for words, forces himself to speak. "Matt – "

"Rush wants you on the bridge," Scott interrupts. "Whenever you're...free." He glances pointedly at them both, his eyes lingering a fraction of a second longer on Ginn – Chloe – and then before either of them can speak he turns on his heel and walks away, disappearing quickly down the corridor. Eli lets out a breath that he didn't know he was holding, turning to the woman beside him; she's looking around the room in confusion, and when she catches sight of Scott's retreating figure she asks worriedly,

"Eli? What happened?" And just like that, Ginn is gone again.

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He finds Scott later and apologises. Matt tells him that it's okay, that he understands – if he spent weeks believing Chloe was dead and then got her back, in Ginn's body, he would have done the same thing. But Eli doesn't feel any better. He feels awful, because he knows that if it did bother him Matt wouldn't necessarily say so, especially given the circumstances. It's just a matter of time before Matt ends up kissing Ginn by mistake and, even though that thought twists his stomach into knots, Eli can't exactly do anything about it. It wouldn't be right and it wouldn't be fair. So he spends his time with Rush in-between Ginn's appearances, and refuses to give up until he finds a way to save her before it's too late.

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It is enough. It is enough that, even though they cannot physically interact, they can be together. He can see her, can stare into those warm, hazel-brown eyes all he likes, watch her crimson hair shimmer like silk; he can study the natural glow of her soft, porcelain skin and examine the minute scars on the palms of her hands, marks that tell the story of a childhood spent in lush green fields and fresh-tilled earth. She can talk to him for hours in her gentle voice and recount different scars, left by forced servitude with an Alliance of thugs and murderers. She can hum, even sing to him in the early hours when he is unable to sleep – she has such a lovely voice, and the tones of the Patrian lullabies are more important than the words he doesn't understand. This way, they can be together.

There's a price, of course – there was always going to be a price. He can't touch her. He can't kiss her or feel her, and at first it's almost painful. Then he remembers what the alternative was like, how it felt to exist without her. This is enough. This is more than enough.

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Having her back feels like living in some kind of wonderful dream – especially in the late hours when he refuses to sleep, despite her persistent arguments that he needs to. Those are his favourite hours; he wouldn't miss them for all the sleep in the world. He doesn't want to miss a single second with her. All they do is talk, a sharing of their very different lives and experiences, and he treasures it. She starts trying to teach him Patrian. A few odd words here and there, little things, just enough so that he can understand the terms of endearment she offers him in front of the crew, words she whispers whilst he's working on the bridge. He shows more promise for the written language than the spoken, but he quickly learns how to recognise words like hena and sah.

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When they join the science team for lunch in the mess, it's almost like nothing ever changed. Because they are a team, the five of them, and if you really want to be technical about it Rush and Chloe too. Ginn doesn't eat and she can't lean into Eli the way she used to, but she still has him, Brody, Dale and Lisa in stitches. Laughter filters out into Destiny's hallways once more and none of the other crewmembers have to even ask who it is; no one else on the ship regularly dissolves into uncontrollable hysterics the way they do. Within five minutes the beard jokes are back and Dale is rolling his eyes and complaining about bullying and I don't even like you guys!, but in truth they all know he wouldn't trade a second of it for the world. Brody fights his introverted nature in an effort to get to know Ginn better, his ashen face and stricken expression still burned into Eli's memory. Lisa, too, noticeably increases her interaction with her and sometimes they hang out with the other ladies of Destiny – talking about girl things, Eli supposes, and he's not sure he wants to know much more. The problems that their relationship faces on a daily basis often cast a shroud of sadness over them both, knowing they can't and might not ever be able to physically interact again, go back to the way they were – but there are also those moments, every day without fail, when he knows that having her at all makes him the luckiest person in the universe.

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She's recounting some particularly fond memories of her ninth birthday when he finally summons the courage to voice a question he's wanted to ask for a while. "What are their names?" Ginn looks up at him from her position stretched out on his bunk, smiling to herself at the mental image of her family laughing outside in the sunshine, singing traditional birthday songs as they worked. Eli has long since abandoned his days' tasks to listen to her stories, and the expression he wears is one of extreme curiosity; still, his fingers run almost nervously over the keys of his control panel where he stands, hoping he isn't about to push the sensitive topic too far. She was so lost in her thoughts that she has to ask him to repeat the question.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" A hint of a smile tugs at the corner of Eli's mouth. He likes to see her happy.

"Your brother and sister, what are they called? You never mention them by name." Her grin slips just a fraction in surprise.

"Oh," she says, and glances down at her hands in her lap while she recovers. Knowing that he's strayed into deeply personal, emotional territory now, Eli moves from the panel to sit down gently on the end of his bunk. Ginn talks about her family and her homeworld all the time, but always with a careful sense of detachment, he's noticed: she never names things or people, places, except the Lucians. She uses only the past tense. It's her way of coping with the grief and homesickness she feels, and he doesn't want to damage that in any way.

Ginn twists her holographic fingers together. Her smile is genuine, but an undeniable sadness lingers there. "My brother," she begins after a few moments, meeting his gaze evenly, "was called Darrus, and he was eight years older. My little sister was three years younger. Her name was Atia."

"Darrus..." Eli repeats slowly, testing out the name on his tongue, "...and...Ay-sha?" Nodding, Ginn leans forward and absent-mindedly plays with the leg of her pants.

"Yes. We were all very close." There it is again, the past tense. "They would be...thirty, and nineteen, now. If they made it." After a long pause, a larger hand covers her projected one. She seems almost to shake herself at his touch, and drags her eyes up from the covers to look up at him. The smile he offers her is as weak as her own. "What about you?" she asks as he turns his hand over, and runs her fingers across his palm like a warm breeze. "Do you have any brothers or sisters back home?" Eli shakes his head.

"Nope," he answers. "Though sometimes I wish I did. It was just me growing up." He is unable to repress a little sigh. "But at least, after my mom got sick, she only had to worry about one kid, right?" Ginn can't even force a smile back.

"I'm so sorry about your mother," she whispers, sincerely. "And your father." The last time they spoke about his family it ended emotionally for both of them, so they've avoided the topic since, but she feels the need to express her genuine sorrow. Eli didn't deserve what happened to his family, and nor did his mother.

"Mom's a trooper...she'll be okay," he replies, and nods as if reassuring himself of this fact. Continuing, he tells his knees, "And as for my dad...it was better after he left. No more drinking and no more shouting...awful things. It was better."

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For the most part, it's easy to forget what she is. And then there are the days when he arrives on the bridge, lighter than air at the sight of her standing and peering at some equations over Dale's shoulder, like old times. Eli moves over to her with that bright smile he's adopted since she came back, slips an arm around her waist to pull her close to him, craving the warmth of her body – and his arm goes straight through her. He leaves a trail of shimming white interference through the holographic image that represents Ginn's mind, sending a sudden shot of heat right across her torso. It's not an unpleasant sensation, but she pretends she feels nothing. Eli's arm falls uselessly to his side; his smile is still in place when she turns to greet him, grinning and pushing her hair behind her ear. Dale and the others act as if they don't notice every time one of them makes such a mistake, but pretending doesn't change the cruel reality that they are faced with. He loves her more than life itself, but if he can't find a way to restore her to a body then...then she will never be able to leave this ship, and she won't be able to come back to Earth with him. There is a limit on how much time they have left.

In those moments, it is impossible to forget.

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"I'll find a way," he promises her one morning, holding her holographic hands between his own; it's like trying to hold onto air, except there are white shimmers and warmth where his solid form meets her projected one.

"Eli – " Her hazel eyes are wide and frightened. Afraid for him. Afraid for herself.

"Ginn. I will find a way." It's so hard to consider the alternative, the possibility of failure – so he simply refuses to do so. "I won't be without you again, okay? I just, I can't – " Eli looks down at his feet, a light frown creasing his brow and his eyes slipping closed as his throat abruptly tightens and his words die. He can't lose her again. Not a second time. They still have no idea how they're going to return her and Amanda to physical form, and as time passes he can tell that Ginn's fear of being turned off is only growing. She knows it wouldn't kill her, but she also wouldn't be able to communicate with Eli, and to her they might as well be the same thing.

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The time limit turns out to be much shorter than either of them expected. It happens suddenly, without any warning – just like the first time he lost her. This time yesterday he was sitting alone in his quarters, earphones in and music turned up full, hoping that Ginn would forgive him and come back so that he could just be near her again, just see her. Now he's standing here at the Apple Core, with Brody and Chloe waiting for him to return, and his hand hovering shakily over the button that will take Ginn away from him a second time. She stands beside him in silence. It's a huge effort to suppress Amanda's consciousness for any length of time, but she has to say goodbye. She can't let herself leave without saying it, not like last time. Eli's fingertips ghost over the button and he swallows as he looks up at her, his dark eyes wide with something more than fear. Something deeper. This isn't fair. It isn't right. He only just got her back, and now because of Rush he has to lose her all over again. He has to let her go, just like that, in an instant. No alternative. All because of Rush.

Eli meets Ginn's steady gaze, memorises her half-hearted attempt at a reassuring smile – the last one she might ever give him – and it hits him like a sucker punch to the stomach: he would let Rush die for her. He would let the cold, calculating, lying scientist die if it meant she would live. In a heartbeat. He knows it so completely that it terrifies him. "I'll miss you," he murmurs quietly, feeling very distant from his own voice, from himself. Ginn's smile grows a fraction, and if he didn't know her so well he'd think she wasn't at all upset with what he is about to do. But he does know her, and the sadness in her eyes is as clear to him as if it were written on her face. Her eyes are bright, but it's not happiness that makes them shine anymore. She blinks slowly and then the tear falls: just one, rushing down her cheek. It's the first time he has ever seen her cry.

Her smile vanishes in a second, and Eli has to bite hard on the inside of his mouth to keep control of himself. "I'll miss you too," she tells him, a faint waver in her voice. "You'll find a way, Eli. You will." He wishes he felt as confident as she sounds, even as he tries to hold onto the way she says his name.

"I will," he replies, swearing to himself that he will find a way to bring her back to him. His arm, his fingers over the button, have turned to lead. Ginn nods once, taking a steadying breath, and raises a hand to Eli's face.

"I have to go now," she whispers as she brushes white interference across his cheek, her words seeming to echo in the otherwise empty room. All he feels is warmth instead of skin, but it's something. The sharp breath Eli lets out isn't a sigh. He can't do this. He can't. He won't, he will not –

"I love you." He forces the words out before it's too late, refusing to make the same mistake twice, and part of him isn't sure how he manages to hold her gaze as he says it. "You know that?" Her nod this time is more earnest, her breath shaky as she fights to keep Amanda out and herself together.

"I do," she assures him. "I do."

They are out of time.

Taking one last, longing look at her face, Eli closes his eyes, focusing on the surges of heat that are moving across his cheek and over his lips. It takes every shred of strength he has left to press down on the button. The warmth vanishes instantly. He feels so hollow, the room so empty.

Afraid of what they'll see, red-rimmed eyes flutter open. He sees nothing. Ginn is gone.

He can barely look at Rush for weeks after that, struggling to swallow down the disgust he feels and concentrate on the fact that Ginn is at least safe. Gradually the raw, jagged wound inside him starts to heal, the edges sandpapered smooth. It's still there, but not so sore. Not so tender. He has a purpose now, a reason to keep it together and not fall apart at the seams. He needs to be in control of himself if he's ever going to find a way to save her.

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Fin.

Stargate Universe: Echo coming soon.

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Hena - honey

Sah - sweet