I love your work, but I'm honestly disappointed about the lack of real confrontation with Jaune's family. I understand why it didn't happen, Jaune's maturity being AU in its own right. I just never see any stories that really handle that whole situation in a satisfying way.

Been busy reading through this whole story, so I'll leave this review hear now that its over.
This was a great story. You took the premise of another wonderfully story and created something similar but vastly different in ways that worked wonderfully. While it was quite heavy, I was at the edge of my seat through most of it. I'm glad to have read this and if there is ever a sequel, by either you or another author of your caliber, I hope to read through it too.

Overall as i reach to the end of your J. Arcs journey, my feelings are...unsatisfied. Though i did enjoy from beginning to middle, it just felt like you kinda stumbled towards the end as the way things had to end. I have read other peoples reviews and i most certainly can agree your writing quality is as great as Coeur Al'Aran.

From beginning to middle of story was really engaging, I certainly like how everything was developed and i most certainly enjoyed your OCs of Vacuo.

The way you ended the finale fight, as another reviewer mention the beginning tone on how dark and serious your story tone was clearing going for after the fall of Vacuo. I get not everything is going to be jaunes way, or as writer challenge is prevent it from being predictable and went with more realist dark-route. But honestly i would have preferred you ended Jaune/Neo fate in more "poetic" self-sacrifice together in each other arms, in a sense who they were died with "their"team members in at Vacuo, and vengeance goal/plan build up was simply abrupt with Atlas army help speeding it up.

But as writer, we're all on limited on time, im glad we at least get closure and all move on. Just some stuff as you mention you probably should have covered more, but in end will be left hanging like Jaune 2 sisters that he chose to train but that really didn't come into play or importance of plot. More of Ilia and Pyrrha family origin situation as you mentioned. Raven training Yang early. More butterfly effect changes.

My only personal wishful thinking was seeing Jaune's dad meeting Crow, Tai, or Raven. See if they had history, but not really.

Thanks again for writing your take on this story, certainly enjoyed it, your ending personally isn't quiet bittersweet, wasn't bad...but honestly felt lazy in my honest opinion.
But I'm not any better, i still have stories i need to work on.

this is a great story. Are you planning on continuing it?

Damn that was brutal yet thrilling, I always wondered what the fall was like and now I do also like the ending of neo and June traveling together to hunt down possibly the relics.

I just realized it I team jnpr

I'm really enjoying this story more and more. Solid grammar and prose, extensive characterization of not only RWBY and RAVN but even some minor characters. I even enjoyed the insights into the social dynamics between the first year groups that made all this seem that more real with fleshed out characters having differing personalities. Plot has been a little slow to build, but honestly I prefer it this way where I have the time to get invested in the characters and their motivations. I suppose it was also necessary with Jaune playing the role of a counselor for him to have students with problems he could give counsel to. Either way, great job, I look forward to the remaining forty chapters! Thanks for sharing this with us, cheers.

Four chapters in and I can already tell this is going to be some really good quality writing. I love the prose and while there isn't anything too complex about the OC's at the moment, they are by no means bland and uninteresting. I can't wait to see how this develops! Cheers and thanks for sharing this with us

excellent. loved the entire story. thank you!

After reading from the start to end in one go I must say that it was a good read. The way you weave your words gave the writing a very good flow that few achive. Few things made me frown while reading but in the grand scope of the story it makes sense to have things happen, both good and bad, to tell a more intresting tale.

In short. I found this to be a very good read.

Even if it ended here, it would still be a nice short story. But I am glad there is still more to come.

Nice story so far, excited to see where it goes!

Man you made Jaune really stupid all of a sudden. Really had him grab on too the idiot ball with both hands.

Fucking fantastic.

Ok, I have finally finished your story and can now give my full analysis. I wanna start by saying I enjoyed the read. You did good credit to the characters and even managed to land some Al'Aran levels of story telling. You did more straight world building then a lot of other authors do and I personally liked this, though at times it could be a little heavy handed it usually came across well.

The story was not without its issues however. Grammar errors became a little more common towards the end (I recommend getting an editor, or if you already have one, at least one that can catch some of those).

You also did a couple things story wise that I felt either could have been done better, were wasted opportunities, or just lacked some proper build up. The latter can be forgiven somewhat as you've addressed that in you notes. Personally, I loved the Arc family drama but feel it was resolved too quickly, I would have gone with it taking longer to get fixed or even not fixed at all. IDK maybe its jsut me but that kind of drama is really... juicy, I suppose.

I dont know how I really feel about the ending bit with Weiss, I love the Pyrrha killing Cinder part, and even the them running away to the Branwen tribe stuff, but the Weiss dying thing was... Idk, it felt like the story was building to have a more hopeful end with a little bit brighter outlook than what was delivered, though that is more due to my outlook than most readers. Dont mistake what I'm saying, the whole story had a darker tone from the very start, which was your goal I have to assume and I liked it, but as a writer myself I felt that the story was wrapping into a better ending than how it started. Not only as a close to the stories plot, but the path the characters took to get there.

All in all, I loved the story. It was an amazing premise and very well executed, and for a large part of the story it felt like its source material (which is an amazing feat to have accomplished considering how talented Al'Aran is), towards the end it felt more unique and split off from his style, not that that was a bad thing. I will admit to some bias on the part that you killed my fav character T_T, but all in all it was without a doubt worth the read and I look forward to some of those last chapters your adding on.

I would love to discuss further with you if possible or if your interested, and I'd also love to pick your brain on some of the world building you did.

Sincerely, SardonicEffigy