Take Happiness Where You Can

We just blew up the Collector ship.

Holy shit, we just blew up the Collector ship.

The hum of the Normandy's engines fills the silence in the cockpit. The redshifted light of FTL space flashes by us. The only movements are Joker's practiced motions as he pilots the ship.

I just… I can't manage to wrap my head around what just happened. In a lot of ways, that ship is the antagonist of Mass Effect 2. It attacked the Normandy two years ago; it attacked Horizon, and probably many other colonies, as well; as far as I know, it's the ship that eventually attacks the Normandy and abducts the crew; and I'm almost certain it's the ship that comes out to attack during the suicide mission.

And we just blew it up.

"Good work, Ian," Jenny says, breaking the silence. She flips the detonator back to him, and he catches it. She takes a quick moment to look around before taking a deep breath. "Alright, Joker, tell the ground team to meet for a debrief. Set a course for the Citadel, but that may change at some point."

"Aye, Commander," Joker says over his shoulder. He flips a switch on the control panel. "All ground team personnel, please report to the conference room for a debrief ASAP."

Jenny turns towards the CIC and starts walking to the conference room. Ian and I follow closely behind. Mordin and Jacob are already there when we arrive, which makes sense considering how they're right next door. Everyone else arrives within a few minutes—even Kaidan. Hopefully his migraine has settled down.

All told, the debrief doesn't take very long. A small cheer went up at the news of the Collector ship's destruction, and I even saw Jenny smile for the first time since the mission started. There was some idle speculation at the whole "Collectors being Protheans" thing, but Mordin and EDI are still combing through the data. In fairly short order, Jenny dismisses us, saying she has to speak with the Illusive Man.

A wave of exhaustion hits me as a leave the conference room. I check my omni-tool to see that it's apparently very early in the morning, ship-time. God damn it, I forgot how annihilated my sleep schedule was. Do I pass out now and resign myself to being a "night owl," or do I try to tough it out and reset my internal clock?

While I wait for the elevator, Ian comes up next to me. "Hey mate, you got a few minutes?" Welp, guess I won't be sleeping for a bit longer even if I wanted to.

"Yeah, sure," I say.

"Cool. Let's head down to your room."

I put a hand over my mouth and take on a look of exaggerated shock. "Gasp. But Ian, what will Garrus think?" Then I drop the act and grin at him.

"Alright, then I guess I won't tell you how I may have single-handedly saved the entire galaxy."

"I can't tell if you're bullshitting me," I say after a moment, "but fine, we can talk in my room." We step into the elevator, and after a few brief moments, arrive on the crew deck and at my room.

I take a seat on the edge of my bed, and Ian sits at my desk. He reaches into one of the pouches on his armor then takes out some strange looking device. It almost looks like an old circuit board, but something else about it makes it feel more high tech. Ian turns it over in his hands a few times before setting it down on the desk and turning to face me.

"So how'd you manage to single-handedly save the entire galaxy?" I ask. "Something to do with that thing you've got there?"

"Ok, so I may have been exaggerating, but I did save us from one of the most unpleasant missions we've got waiting for us."

I furrow my brow and cock my head, trying to think of what he's talking about. Besides the obvious suicide mission, what unpleasant missions do we have left? We took care of Horizon and the Collector ship. Recruitments are done. None of the loyalty missions are all that bad. The only thing left, really, is—

I stare at him. My eyes go wide.

"Is that—"

"A Reaper IFF," he says, nodding. "Straight from the Collector ship itself."

A moment of silence follows. This is… I don't even know what this is. I don't know what this means. If I thought blowing up the Collector ship was going off the rails, then this just blew the rails up. And maybe the train that was on them.

"So what do we do?" I finally ask.

"That's what I figured we'd talk about," Ian says. "We can't change the fact that I took it, but that doesn't mean we have to tell anyone about it."

"Do you think we should tell anyone?"

He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "Honestly? Yeah. I do. I can't think of a single reason not to—and don't say 'canon' or I will hit you with it. We give this to Shepard—and EDI—now, we might be able to prevent the crew from getting taken."

"But we already blew up the Collector ship," I say. "Didn't that already save the crew?"

"You really think there's only one Collector ship in the galaxy?" he asks. "You've seen the size of that base, there could be dozens more. The long and the short of it is that I don't want to risk this crew because of something that stopped mattering a long time ago."

Another silence settles in. The more I think over Ian's words, the more I start to agree. We'd been quietly ignoring canon for a while now, and we all but threw it out the window not more than an hour ago. And I've been trying to get over thinking of things as "canon" or "not canon" because I think that's an unhealthy mindset to have at this point. Besides, what can hurt by doing this?

Wait.

"Alright, I agree with you," I say. "But this begs the question: What happens to Legion? If we skip the derelict Reaper, we skip his recruitment."

"I think that'll resolve itself," Ian says. "We know Legion's following us. He can make his presence known whenever is convenient for him. And, while I do love his character, he's not super important for the suicide mission."

"Yeah, you have a point." I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. "So we're really gonna do this?"

"Unless you can think of another reason not to."

I take one more moment to consider it, even though I already know the answer. I shake my head.

"Nope, I can't. So when do we tell Jenny?" I ask. "And do we tell anyone else?"

"Let's leave the decision of who else to tell to Shepard. As for when, you doing anything now?"

I barely fight back a yawn. Truth be told, I kind of wanted to sleep, but I guess if I did that now, I'd ruin my sleep schedule even more. I guess I'll stay up another… 18 hours or so… fuck. I might need some coffee. Maybe Gardner has something special for times like this.

Ok, that was a weird tangent. I shake my head a little and blink a few times, focusing back on the situation at hand.

"Nah, I've got nothing on my plate. I'll message Jenny, see if she's free." I open my omni-tool to see if Jenny's free, but a sudden thought stops me. "You think of how you're gonna explain this to her? We're way to early to know we need the IFF."

"I figured I'd just tell her I found something, show it to her, and ask her what we should do with it."

"Then I'll let you take the lead on this," I say. "You grabbed it, after all."

I return my attention to my 'tool.

D: Hey, you free?

It takes about a minute for her to start typing her reply.

J: I just got done chewing out the Illusive Man, so yes. What do you need?

D: Mind coming down to my room? Ian wants your input on something.

J: Why didn't he just ask me himself?

I glance up at Ian and snicker a little.

D: Maybe he thought you'd respond better to a request from your bf.

J: He's not wrong. I'll be down in a minute.

I can't help but laugh at that one, and it earns a curious look from Ian. I wave it off, and we settle in to wait. Luckily, Jenny stays true to her word, knocking on my door almost exactly a minute later. She doesn't even wait for me to answer before coming in. She still has her armor on, which means she probably hasn't even sat down since getting back to the ship. I hope we can make this quick so she can relax. Then again, I still have mine on, too.

After the door closes behind her, Jenny looks over to Ian, still at the desk. "So a little birdy told me you wanted my opinion on something?"

"While the infiltration team was in the Collector ship's drive core, I found something that caught my eye," he says. He points his chin at the IFF sitting on the desk. "It didn't seem to fit in with the tech around it, so I decided to take it."

Jenny cocks her head and begins tapping her nose. A moment later, she walks over to the desk and reaches out to pick up the IFF—pausing a moment to give Ian a questioning look. He nods, and she picks it up.

She turns it around in her hands a few times, taking about a minute to give it a once over.

"Do you have any thoughts to what it might be?" she asks, not looking away from the device. Ian and I glance at each other.

"Can't say I do," Ian says. "Doesn't look like Collector tech, but that's about all I got."

"And you said you found this in the drive core?"

"Yep. It was connected to some sort of terminal, but it was easy enough to disconnect." Ian pauses for a moment. "Like I said, it stood out, so I thought it might be important."

"Yeah… yeah, I get the feeling you're right. Maybe more right than you know." Jenny finally looks up from her inspection and towards Ian. "Can I take this? I think Mordin and EDI need to see it."

"It's all yours, Shepard," Ian says.

"Thank you. Seriously, if this turns out to be what I hope it is, you will have saved us from an absolute nightmare."

"Then fingers crossed."

Jenny nods to Ian then looks at me and smiles before leaving the room. After the door closes again, I wait a few more seconds before speaking up.

"That went way better than I thought it would," I say.

"With everything that keeps going wrong, we were due for some good luck," Ian says. He takes a deep breath and releases a big sigh. "Right, time to at least try to get some sleep." He stands up and heads for the door.

I wish him a good night before being left alone in my room. That yawn I'd been fighting finally escapes. Not a great sign if I really want to reset my sleeping habits. Fuck this, I need some coffee or something. Maybe an energy drink. Hell, maybe both. I take off my armor and just leave it on the floor of my room. That's a problem for tomorrow me. Right now, I desperately need something from the mess.

Unfortunately, it's four in the goddamn morning ship time, which means Gardner hasn't even woken up to start breakfast. Whatever, food can wait. Caffeine, on the other hand, cannot. I go over and turn on the space Keurig, and while the water heats up, I rummage through the cabinets for any other potential source of caffeine. I just about give up when I see a small box tucked away in the corner.

Well hello, what's this? A box of caffeine patches? Don't mind if I do. Pair this with a cup of coffee, and I should be solid for a while. I take a patch out and put it on my upper arm under my shirt sleeve. Just after, the space Keurig also dings, letting me know my coffee is ready.

Let's do this.

####################

I never want to do that again.

Let the record show: combining coffee and a caffeine patch is not for me. After like 15 minutes, I think they both kicked in at once. It was great for about 40 minutes. I felt wide awake, unnaturally alert, and like I could do anything in the whole galaxy. Five minutes after that, as best I can tell, I passed out at a table in the mess hall.

When I woke up five minutes ago, I was in my bed, and the clock read 7 am. The next day. Meaning I slept for a little over 24 hours.

Suffice it to say, I had not expected that outcome.

With a final groan, I force myself to roll out of bed. Someone must have taken my armor up to the storage locker because I don't see it anywhere. Must have been whoever hauled me back down to my room. Unfortunately, I'm still in yesterday's clothes, and I feel very gross because of it. Nothing a quick shower can't hopefully fix.

Twenty minutes later, I step into the mess hall feeling like a brand new person. I guess 24 hours of sleep will do that.

"Well there you are, Sleeping Beauty," Gardner says, looking up from his work station. "I almost thought you were dead."

"Truth be told, I did too," I say, chuckling. The smell of whatever Gardner is making wafts my way, and my stomach rumbles. "And if I don't eat something soon, I might die of starvation."

"Well, lucky for you, I'm going all out with breakfast today. Shepard said I had a new shipment of ingredients waiting for me on the Citadel, so I figured I'd use up what I had before we get there."

My eyes go wide. "Well what's on the menu?"

"I got bacon, eggs, pancakes, hash browns, yogurt, and an assortment of fruit," he says. "Plus a few turian dishes, but I doubt you're interested in those."

I load up my plate with some scrambled eggs, hash browns, and a pancake. After sitting down, I can take a moment to look around the room. None of the ground team is here yet, and only a few of the normal Cerberus crew are here taking advantage of Gardner's cooking. And speaking of, it's delicious. It's also gone much too soon. I'd feel bad about eating more, though, so instead I decide to chat up Gardner some more.

"So were you the one that found me yesterday?" I ask.

"Yep," he says, not looking up from his cooking. "Came in to start making breakfast and found you slumped over one of the tables. Seriously did think you were dead for half a second, but then you started snoring louder than a leaf blower. Figured what with you running off to Omega then all that Collector bullshit, you deserved a rest."

"Yeah, apparently I really needed it. Any idea how I ended up back in my room?"

He grins at me. "Shepard. She came in 'bout an hour after I did, saw you sleeping there, and asked me how long you'd been out. Told her I had no idea." He pauses for a moment. "When did you conk out in my mess hall?"

I let out a slow breath, trying to remember. "It was probably around 5 or 6 am?"

"Well hot damn, you're lucky you can still move your neck today," he says with a laugh. "Shepard didn't show up till almost 9. Picked you right up, bridal style, like it was nothing. Took you to a real bed then got on with her day."

Oh my god, really? Bridal style? I cover my face with my hands, hoping that I'm not actually blushing as much as I think I am. Still, it's sweet that she carried me back to a real bed. I almost wish she would have stuck around and joined me. Then again, I guess she had just woken up. Still, is it too much to want to cuddle my new girlfriend? I don't think so. But wait, now I'm curious what actually happened after I passed out.

"And, uh, what did happen yesterday? Anything important?"

"Just travel. We're still en route to the Citadel, but we should be getting there sometime tonight. Far as I know, day's free to do as you please."

"Thanks, Gardner," I say, standing up. "I appreciate both the food and the info."

"Anytime. Now go see your girlfriend; she probably misses you," he says. Then the damn bastard winks at me. I just roll my eyes back. Does everyone on the ship know? I guess it was too much to hope this would stay our little secret. It was probably Joker's fault somehow.

I lazily flip him the bird, making sure he can see my smile, before leaving the mess hall. Despite my reaction to what he said… he wasn't really wrong. I did really want to see Jenny. I wonder if she's awake. But I'd rather not just go up to her cabin uninvited, especially if she's still asleep. Hmm… maybe EDI knows.

"Hey EDI?" I say, walking over to one of her terminals.

"Yes, Mr. Owens?" she asks, her avatar appearing. "How may I be of assistance?"

"Is Commander Shepard still asleep?"

She dims for a moment as she gets the answer. "The commander is currently still in bed."

"Damn," I mutter to myself. Then I turn back to EDI. "Can you let me know when she wakes up?"

"My apologies for being unclear. I meant that Commander Shepard is currently awake but has not left bed. She seems reluctant to leave, considering she has been awake for two hours."

Thaaaaat… doesn't sound super good. My feet put me on the elevator before my brain realizes what's happening. To my knowledge, this isn't normal for her, and it was just before the last mission that Jenny opened up about some of her mental health issues.

The elevator puts me in front of her door rather quickly. The haptic interface is red, so I ring the little doorbell she has and wait.

After a few moments, the interface turns green. I hesitate for a moment before mentally saying "fuck it" and open the door. Jenny's still in bed, wrapped up in more blankets than I knew she had. She looks up towards the door and smiles.

"Hey there sleepy head," she says.

"I could say the same to you," I say, smiling back at her.

She rolls her eyes. "Just get over here and join me. You're a way better pillow than any of these I've got."

I cock my head a little and give her a funny look. This isn't quite what I expected. But whatever, I was just thinking earlier how I wanted to cuddle, so I'm certainly not turning this offer down. I get into bed, under all the covers, and lie on my back. Almost instantly, she scoots up against me, lying on her side with her head on my chest. We stay like that for a few minutes, not saying anything. Certainly not complaining on my end. Still, I eventually give into the temptation to tease her just a little.

"You seem nice and comfy," I say, rubbing little circles on her back.

"Darn right I am," she says. "I wanted to do this yesterday, but a certain someone decided to pass out for a full 24 hours."

"I plead the fifth."

She laughs and we fall back into a comfortable silence. I kind of want to ask how she's doing, but I also don't want to seem pushy or anything. Maybe I just need to frame it the right way.

"Never really pegged you as the 'laze around in bed' type."

"I'm usually not," she says. "But after our talk on Omega, I'm trying to do a little better. I knew today was a travel day, so I figured I could afford an hour or two to myself. And now that you're here, some time with you." She squeezes my chest in a lazy hug.

"After everything that's happened in the past week or so, I'd say we both earned it," I say, returning the lazy hug.

"You're telling me. At least we caught a break with that IFF."

Oh, well I guess she already took the Reaper IFF to Mordin. But I'm not supposed to know what that means. So time to play dumb. "The what?"

"That thing Ian picked up on the Collector Ship," Jenny says. "Mordin and EDI are pretty sure it's a Reaper IFF, and it just so happens, the data we pulled from the ship told us we need one of those to safely traverse the Omega-4 Relay."

"Well shit, that really is lucky. What would we have done if Ian hadn't grabbed it? Do I even want to know?"

"Probably not. The Illusive Man told me his original plan, and, to put it simply, it sucked. I spent a while telling him so, among other things, after the mission. Just be glad Ian has a good eye for tech."

"I'll be sure to thank him next time I see him," I say.

Once again, we fall into silence. I really hope getting the IFF now instead of later solves the issues it causes. I don't really remember the exact details, but I do remember there was, like, a virus in it, and when it gets turned on, it broadcasts its location. So we just need to make sure that doesn't happen. Or at the very least, be ready for the Collector attack. Ugh, too much to think about right now. I close my eyes, trying to empty my brain and just enjoy being with Jenny. And it works for a while.

I could get used to this.

After maybe 10 minutes, Jenny speaks up again.

"So Dyl, I've been meaning to ask… how are you doing with all this going on?" she asks. "You've been helping me deal with some of my problems, so I want to make sure you have a chance to vent if you need to."

How have I been doing. How have I been doing? I take a few deep breaths, really trying to consider the question. It'd be easy enough to blow it off and say I'm fine. But am I? With as honest as she's been with me, I want to return that honesty.

"I think… I think I'm doing about as well as I could be, all things considered," I say. "I've had a hell of a life since Eden Prime, and sometimes it still doesn't feel real."

"It's easy for me to forget that you were just a colony kid when the geth attacked. Even though you wanted to join us on the SR-1, you really didn't have much choice because of the vision the beacon gave you." She pauses for a moment. "How's that been, by the way? Does it still bother you?"

"It'll flare up every now and then, but I'm kind of used to it. And I just now realized how weird that is."

She laughs a little before the silence returns for a while. I pull her a little closer, relishing in the fact that this is happening at all.

"I trust that you're doing alright, but I also trust you to tell me if you're ever not alright. Deal?" she says after a few minutes.

"Deal," I say. "To be honest, I think sleeping all yesterday was good for me. A lot happened in a very short time, and I think my body and mind needed a hard reset."

"God, same." She turns away to look at her nightstand then sighs. "Unfortunately, I think that reset is over for me. I told Jacob I'd meet with him in an hour, and I need to shower and become a commander again."

For a split second, I almost jokingly offer to join her, but luckily my filter seems to be working right now. That would have been too much too quickly. Instead, I kiss the top of her head and get out of bed. She follows soon after, letting out one last groan at having to get up. That's when I notice she's just wearing a black cami and underwear.

My face heats up as a blush covers my cheeks, and I look away almost instinctively. Jenny laughs, and I hear her step over to where I stand. She gives me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Such a gentleman," she says, laughter still in her voice. Then she walks over to the bathroom. "I'll see you around the ship, Dyl. Have a nice travel day."

The door closes, and my legs decide they can finally work again. I guess I'll go hangout in my room for a while.

Most of the day passes without incident. I decide to leave my door open as a sort of invitation for anyone who wants to hang out and chat. At one point or another, Kaidan comes by to shoot the shit, and Ian and Garrus stop by after Kaidan leaves. I take the time to pass on the info about the IFF to them, but I think we're all embracing this day off. No real talk about the mission, just unwinding after a crazy week or two. It feels good, and I can't help but wonder when we'll have another opportunity like this.

A little before we're set to arrive at the Citadel, Tali actually stops by my room.

"Dylan, I have a question," she asks.

"And I have an answer," I say automatically. Her brow furrows and she cocks her head a little, but she goes on anyway.

"Is it common for humans to have multiple romantic partners?"

Now it's my turn to furrow my brow. That question seems kinda random. But I guess she was always curious about different cultures. Least I can do is give an answer.

"I'm not sure if I'd call it 'common,' but it's not unheard of. Why?"

"Well, quarians are a strictly monogamous culture, so when you ran off to Omega to rescue Violet, I got confused. I thought you were already in a relationship with Shepard, but then I realized I was thinking about it like a quarian would," she says. My look of confusion only grows. Where's she going with this? "So Shepard is alright with you also dating Violet?"

…

What?

I don't mean to laugh in Tali's face, but I just can't contain it. Tali… Tali thought I was dating Violet? And Jenny? Oh man, holy crap, that is amazing. That is the funniest goddamn thing I have heard in a while. I need to tell Vi about that. And, like, I know I really shouldn't laugh because she asked out of genuine curiosity, but still.

"I'm sorry, Tali, I didn't mean to laugh like that," I say, finally catching my breath. "I just didn't expect that to be your question. I'm not dating Violet, she's just my best friend."

"Oh…," she says. She looks down and away, pretty clearly embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to assume."

"It's fine, Tali. You're not the first one to think Vi and I were dating. Practically the whole clinic did at one point."

"If you two are so close, why aren't you dating?" Her eyes widen. "Not to say I'm not happy for you and Shepard—I am! I just, sorry, I'm curious, is all."

I can't help but laugh again. I forgot how easily flustered Tali can get and how adorable it was.

"I just never felt that way about her," I say. "I love her, sure, but I love her as a friend. The romantic interest was never really there."

"Oh…. Um, if you don't mind me asking… how were you able to tell?" Her hands start fidgeting, and she once again looks down and away.

Oh my god, is Tali asking me for romantic advice? This is so cute, I bet it's about Reegar. Ok, I don't want to tease her and scare her off or make her feel bad. So I guess I have to try my best to answer.

"I guess it's the differences in how I feel when I'm around Violet compared to Jenny. With Jenny, every time I see her or spend time with her, my heart does these little flips of joy. I get almost nervous, but in a good way? I don't know, it's hard to explain. Is there someone who just being around or talking to makes you feel different than, say, me or Ian or Garrus?"

I swear I can see the blush through her face mask. She definitely has the hots for someone, and I'm willing to bet it's Reegar.

"M-maybe," she says. "You've given me a lot to think about, so thank you, Dylan." She rushes off without waiting for a response.

Poor girl, she's got it bad. Still, I'm happy for her. With what we have in store, we should all take happiness where we can. I just hope she figures it out sooner rather than later.

A/N: Never did say these updates would be anything approaching regular. I'm gonna try to do better in 2019, but I feel like I say that every year. Guess we'll see how it turns out. Sorry to return on a filler chapter, but a lot had gone on the past 10 or so. The characters deserved a little break.

Anywho, that's it for now. Till next time, folks, ta ta!