Hi everyone out there in 'Internet Land', also known as 'The World Wide Web'. I love fanfictions of all kinds, though I still need to read them all. I used to make fantasy's about my favorite books/movies/tv shows, where I was a my own character, able to live through the adventures they had, and create my own as well.

As I keep writing, I know that soon, all of my wondrous idea's will be out there for everyone to read and enjoy. If you have any suggestions, whether they be about what should happen next in one of my tales, to what kind of story I start next, don't hesitate to ask! I thank you all for reading! Later, 'Bye, and Good travels to all! It can be dangerous traveling into another persons land...of fanfiction.

Cordially

Liliana Dragonshard

Hello, here is a link to my forum, Journeyclan! It's a role-play clan, and while I'm still getting the hang of it, I'm doing great! Please, come join!

Forum Link: /myforums/Liliana-Dragonshard/5590034/

Wanna read some really neat-o stories about the unsung Hero of Wreck-it Ralph? Look no further! Please come take a look at this dandy little community I whipped this Hallow's Eve. . . . . .the link for 'Another Turbo-tastic Story!' is just below. Enjoy and happy Halloween!

/community/Another-Turbo-tastic-Story/117125/

The pledge of a good fanfiction author:

No matter how old the fanfiction is, read it.

No matter how many reviews it already has, review it.

Even if there are no reviews, read the story if you like the summary.

If it is the worst piece of writing out there, do not flame.

NEVER, EVER DELIBERATELY TRASH A PERSON BECAUSE THEIR WRITING IS BAD!

Don't be afraid to speak your mind.

Do not steal ideas.

Remember to update your own stories regularly.

If you think you do all of those things, copy and paste this into your profile.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you believe flames are just a boring waste of time to read! Anyways the flamers just show that they have no life or class whatsoever...

The "You no like, you no read" club: If you believe that people who don't like someone's story should simply not read it instead of posting cruel and hateful reviews, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list:

Alicia's Purple Velvet Purse, changelingchild, crimsonchidori, SasukeSakuraxXXxItachiSakura, cherryredblossom,BLOSSOMHEARTXOXO, Kagome-Loves-Kouga, Jessica01, Kitsunelover300, Flying Dragonite, LeafeonLover, MitzvahRose, Aquamarine6996, Moonlesscat, Liliana Dragonshard

Fanfictions Written overall: 14

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fanfics written: 2

Rise of the Guardian fanfics written: 1

Danny Phantom fanfics written: 1

How to Train Your Dragon fanfics written: 2

Warriors fanfic's written: 4

American Dragon: Jake Long fanfic's written: 1

Kung Fu Panda fanfic's written: 1

Wreck it Ralph fanfic's written: 2

9 fanfic's written: 1

Story Names

(listed in order of publication)

'The Liliana Dragonshard Journals', from TMNT

'The Eric Dragonshard Journals: How I became a Mutant', from TMNT

'Rise of the Guardians, the Rise of Rain and Storm', from Rise of the Guardians

'Krissy Fenton. The Phantom Journals', from Danny Phantom

'Oceana Furiozo', from How to Train Your Dragon

'Winged Rose, the New Prophesy', from Warriors

'Starburst: Journey's Start', from How to Train Your Dragon

'Who's That Warrior Cat?', from Warriors

'Skyfang: Battle of the 6 Clans', from Warriors

'Slipped Away', from Warriors

'Erica Lotus, A Wandering Soul', from American Dragon: Jake Long

'Night, Shade, and Shadow, The Deadly Three', from Kung Fu Panda

'A Crescent Moon and Golden Sun', from Wreck it Ralph

'Virus's Vengeance: Turbo's Return', from Wreck it Ralph

'Zero to Heal Us', from 9

10 FACTS ABOUT YOURSELF!
1. You're reading my profile
2. You're realizing that's a stupid fact
4. You didn't notice I skipped three
5. You're checking
6. You're smiling
7. You're still reading my profile
9. You didn't realize I skipped eight
10. You're checking again and smiling about how you fell for it again. ;3
11. You are enjoying this
12. You didn't realize there's only supposed to be ten facts
Copy and paste if you fell for it, too. You know you did.

Add your name to the list, please. It starts after my name.

Liliana Dragonshard,

ǝƃɐd ɹnoʎ oʇuo sIɥʇ ǝʇsɐd puɐ ʎdoɔ 'sʎɐs sɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ ʇno ǝɹnƃIɟ oʇ ɥƃnouǝ ʇɹɐɯs ǝɹɐ noʎ ɟI

D* Put this

R* On your

E* Page if you

A* Prefer your

M* Imagination

S* Over reality

Random phrases:

This is Bob. Bob likes you. Bob likes dangerous things. I suggest you run from Bob.

DO NOT DISTURB, evil genius at work.

Hello. I have the urge to kill.

Angry people need hugs or sharp objects

I know kung fu and 50 other dangerous words.

Did my sarcasm hurt your feels? Get over it.

Love your enemies, it makes them angry.

Save a tree, eat a beaver.

Don’t mess with me! I have a stick!

Think of gingerbread men: are they delicious holiday treats or just another way for children to show off their cannibalism?

Ha ha! I don’t get it.

We’re all gonna die, but I have a helmet.

No trespassing! Violators will be shot and survivors will be shot again.

My eraser will kick your eraser’s butt!

I’m not weird, I’m gifted.

Life called. . .you failed.

Its better to look stupid and keep your mouth closed than to open it and prove it.

Sheep are just demented sticks of candy floss

I can't remember if it's time for your medication or mine.

Spread the Stupidity

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. . .

Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics.

If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that can't.

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon!

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Taste the rainbow - EAT CRAYONS!?!

The road to success is always under construction.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? ... "Hold my purse."

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

Got a problem with me? Solve it.

Think I'm trippin'? Tie my shoe.

Can't stand me? Then sit down.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you,
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
And so is your head.

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

In that song, She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain, who is "she"?

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice with them, then let the world wonder how the heck you did it.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.

I'm not clumsy... The floor just hates me.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

The next time someone says 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me' HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY!

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.

Education is important. School, however, is another matter.

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

"Let's eat grandpa!!"
"Let's eat, grandpa!!"
Punctuation saves lives.

Come join the dark side. (We have Fried Chicken, Chocolate Cake, and Vanilla Ice Cream)

Why go away from the profile? You want me to go outside?! There are bears outside!!

There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.

Shhhhhh...I'm trying to avoid you...don't tell them though...OMG, how did you find me?!

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" -Unknown

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how the heck you did it.

If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.

Would you like a cookie? So would I.

You have just received the Amish computer virus. Since the Amish do not have computers, it is based strictly on the honor system. Please delete all files on your computer. Thank you for your cooperation.

Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot.

Help!ican'tfindthespacebar!

How do you kill a purple elephant? Use a purple elephant gun. How do you kill a gray elephant? Strangle it until it turns purple and then shoot it with the purple elephant gun.

I'm doing something really important right now. I'm spinning in my computer chair, be with you when I can see straight again..."Please stop the room from spinning, I'd like to get off!"

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings... I was aiming for your face.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

You know what?! Earth sucks, I’m going home.

The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality.

You say I suffer from insanity?! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! Actually quite the opposite! I rather enjoy my insanity!

i didn't loose my mind the people inside my head stole it and they won't give it back ! :(

I'm a chocolate-loving chocolate lover that loves chocolate.

Does anybody have a recipe for "I don't know" or "I don't care"? It's what my family requested for supper and I can't seem to find my recipes.

I do NOT have a short attention sp-OMG A SQUIRREL!

Wanna know a secret? Your... Naked... Under... Those... Clothes... (:

For all the optimists who say, "You can do whatever you put your mind to" - I want to see you staple Jello to a tree.

Life is not always perfect. Things don't always go your way, people are not always nice, and blue crayons do not taste like blueberries.

Silence is Golden..but Duct-Tape comes in a variety of colors and patterns, and its much more effective. ;p

How does paper beat rock? Stand in front of me so I can throw a rock at you and try to protect yourself with a friggin piece of paper!

Someone left a note on a piece of cake in the fridge that said, "Do not eat!". I ate the cake and left a note saying, "Yuck, who the hell eats paper ? "

They say expect the unexpected, then that makes the unexpected expected. But if we are still expecting the unexpected shouldn't we be expecting the expected???

Why do banks attach pens to the counters? Do they honestly believe we go in there thinking "Give me all your mo... Wait.. quick grab the pens! Grab the pens!!

The cops just came by my house and said my dog was chasing a kid on a bike. I told them that was a dang lie, my dog can't ride a bike.

Imperfection makes us all perfect in our own unique way.

Don't try to make me someone I'm not, if you want copies get a printer.

Thank you for calling House of Insanity. Head nut speaking.

Have you ever felt like, even though you know you are where you are supposed to be, you still don't belong?

Some people think I have a screw loose. Well bad news for them, I lost the screwdriver.

Aw, good spider. Come here spider. Let me pet you...WITH MY SHOE! Good spider. Dead spider. :)

I was going to quit all my bad habits but then it occurred to me- no one likes a quitter.

If the opposite of pro is con, then what's the opposite of Progress?

If you are born ugly blame your parents, but if you died ugly, blame your doctor.

Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have their way.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

I am a Nobody. Nobody is Perfect. Therefore I am Perfect.

How come we have to choose from just 2 persons for president, and 50 for Miss America?

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

It's not hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.

Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.

Department of Redundancy Department.

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!

I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Optimists think the glass is half full. Pessimists think the glass is half empty. Realists know that someone will have to wash the glass.

When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you’re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for. Unless it’s death by meteor.

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, "So far so good!"

When life gives you lemons, you’d better wait for it to give you some sugar first or else you’ll have some really nasty-tasting lemonade.

If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one.

You can find tea in a tea cup... but cannot find world in a world cup.

Politics: From the Greek "poli" meaning "many", and "tics" meaning blood-sucking parasite.

Batteries are the most melodramatic inanimate object. They don't just run out... THEY DIE!

Do the English people eat English muffins, or are they just called muffins?

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

Practice makes perfect. But nobody's perfect...so why practice?

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

If you can’t live without me, why aren't you dead yet?

If life is a bowl of cherries, why am I stuck with the pits?

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

What do we want? TIME TRAVEL! When do we want it? DOESN'T MATTER!

You can use both idiots and scissors, but you can't let an idiot use scissors.

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes... there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

A baby first laughs at the age of four weeks. By that time, his eyes focus well enough to see you clearly.

Don't worry about the world ending today... it's already tomorrow in Australia.

The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

They Hurt Her

About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them.

FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.

Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.

If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your Sentences With 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip Down The Hall Rather Than Walk And See How Many Looks You Get.

10. Order A Diet Water Whenever You Go Out To Eat, With A Serious Face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You Have A Headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

Effective Ways On How To Annoy/Scare/Weird Out The Living Daylights Outta People (on elevators, in computer labs, etc.)

1. Repeat everything the person says in a question.

2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World." incessantly.

3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh no, not now, darn motion sickness!"

11. Meow occasionally.

12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"

17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

18. Say, "I wonder what all these do." and push the red buttons.

19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.

25. Ask every passenger that goes up if you can press the button for them.

26. Log on to a computer, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream: "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.

27. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

28. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the dang thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.

29. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

30. Bring a chain saw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.

31. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.

32. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.

33. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, and then when it's all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.

34. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.

35. Send e-mails constantly to the person next to you.

36. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

37. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

38. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

39. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

40. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

41. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

42. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

43. Swat at flies that don't exist.

44. Dance, while drumming noisily against the walls.

WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAYS:
1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
9. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
10. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
11. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
12. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)
13. Show up completely crazy (completely crazy means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
14. Comment on how hot the instructor is looking that day.
15. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
16. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
17. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
18. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
19. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
20. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
21. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
22. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
24. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "The light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
25. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
26. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
27. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.
28. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
29. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."
30. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!". Rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. Strike a pose first for added effect.
31. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.
32. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.
33. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
34. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.
35. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.
36. Dress like the professor.
37. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.
38. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.
If this made you crack up copy and paste!

50 Ways To Mess With People In A Computer Lab

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.
6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.
7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.
9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.
10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.
13. Bring a Boombox and play Gangnam Style at top volume.
14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say "Oops, I forgot."
16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
17. "DISK FIGHT!!!"
18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).
19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.
20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
21. Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Flirt with it.
22. Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.
23. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.
24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisily. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.
26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to grinding. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.
27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.
28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.
30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.
31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.
32. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
33. Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, humits note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
34. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.
36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.
38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your* delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and leave.
40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)
41. Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling wit laughter as you go.
42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "TAKE COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
44. See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hang up before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.
45. Bring an small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.
46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.
47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.
48. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.
49. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say "Give me that computer or you'll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week".
50. Two words: Tesla Coil.

FUNNY THINGS TO DO TO A PIZZA GUY WHEN ORDERING

1. While you are you are making an order, randomly start pressing the numbers on the phone and tell the guy to stop doing it.

2. Make up a credit card name and ask if they accept it.

3. Ask for a Big Mac, French fries and a Large Coke.

4. Finish the order with: "Remember, this conversation never happened".

5. Tell him you’ve got another pizza delivery on the other line and you’re buying from the one who offers the lowest price.

6. Just give him your address and say "Surprise me". Then hang up.

7. Answer his questions with other questions.

8. Spell the ingredients.

9. Stutter every time you say something with the letter "P"

10. Ask him if they have pizza.

11. Say "Hello" and act as if he called you.

12. Make your order being very decided and secure, then when he asks you if you would like a drink with the pizza, act as if you were confused.

13. Change your accent every 5 seconds.

14. Ask for 56 pepperoni slices followed by an equation.

15. If he repeats the order to make sure, say "Ok, it’s 17.90, please proceed to the next window to pick up your order".

16. Explain him that you want to rent a Pizza.

17. Ask if you can keep the box. When he answers yes, make a huge sigh of relief.

18. Ask him if they exploit child labor.

19. Tell him to make sure that your pizza is dead.

20. Imitate the voice of the guy taking the order.

21. Eliminate the verbs of everything you say.

22. Tell him that there’s a surprise party at yours and that you would appreciate if the delivery boy could hide behind the couch until the celebrated one comes in to surprise him/her.

23. Ask if you could see the menu

24. Warn them that they have no idea of what they are dealing with by supplying this order.

25. Ask him which ingredient is better for a meal with a specific type of wine.

26. Burp and then tell your dog that he should be ashamed.

27. Ask only for one slice.

28. Psychoanalyze the guy taking the order.

29. Complain about the service. Call again two hours later saying that you were drunk and that you are sorry about what you said.

30. Tell the guy taking the order to tell the one in charge to tell the supervisor that he’s fired.

31. Randomly start swearing to someone who is apparently next to you.

32. Stop speaking every 10 seconds and start playing an instrument.

33. Tell a secret code to the guy taking the order and tell him to memorize it for orders you’ll make in the future.

34. Ask for mushrooms as the first ingredient, then before you hang up, say "no mushrooms please". Then hang up before he can say anything.

35. When he repeats the order, correct him changing an ingredient, then correct him again, and again. The third time ask him if it’s his first day working there.

36. Breath really loudly.

37. Ask him how many whales/dolphins had to die to make that pizza.

38. Avoid using the word "PIZZA" by any means. If the guy taking the order says it, hang up saying "Please, don’t use that word".

39. Make the order during a car chase on TV. When there are gunshots, yell "Aaarghhh"

40. If the guy taking the order doesn’t take any of the previous jokes, ask him if there’s any other who would take them.

10 ways to really annoy people:

1. Name your dog 'Dog'.

2. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

3. Begin all your sentences with 'ooh la la!'

4. Speak only in a 'robot' voice.

5. Wear your pants backwards.

6. Ask people what gender they are.

7. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your 'imaginary friend'.

8. Sing along at the opera.

9. Mow your lawn with scissors.

10. Honk and wave to strangers.

The 'If Yous'

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you can a probably will kick the crap out of any boy you know copy and paste this onto your profile to warn them

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you are against real fur on clothing then put this on your profile.

If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, put this in yours.

If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy& Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have copied and pasted more than 10 things into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a little bit of Deception in you, paste this onto your profile!

If you enjoy fantasy in general, copy this into your profile.

If you are addicted to copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you are against any kind of abuse, copy and paste this to your profile.

65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then reading ,if you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are so bored in school and you create fanfictions in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.

"I walk, talk, eat and sleep on earth, but I live my life in a completely different world." If this sentence describes you, copy and paste on your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile. (imagine being an eagle... stares dreamily into the distance)

If you would die for your faith, copy this into your profile.

If you love the music you listen to, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like OCs ,copy and paste this to your profile

If you read your own stories or profile just for the heck of it,copy and paste this to your prof.

If you always have more than one tab open when on the computer, copy and paste

If you have a story in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings! If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile! LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you like Sonic, put this on your profile!

If you don't know why people can't get it through their heads that members of the opposite sex can just be friends, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you don't 'obsess!', you just think intensely, post this on your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this to your profile.

If you think the school week is way too long and weekends are way too short, copy this onto your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

92 of the teens have moved onto rap. If you are part of the 8 that still listens to real music, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear baiting, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you avoid teen fads and don't live your life according to others copy and paste this.

If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile.

I once read that only math can save us now. Put this in your profile if you're screwed.

If you talk to yourself and aren't afraid to admit it to anyone, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you often laugh maniacally when you're all by yourself, please copy and paste this into your profile.

99.5 percent of teenagers and kids have a myspace and are literally addicted, if you are the 0.5 who thinks myspace is a dumb way to make friends, relationships, etc. post this onto your profile.

If you've ever had a dream about an anime/book/video game, etc. character, copy this onto your profile.

If you don't do drugs (They are nasty), copy/paste this into your profile

If you like to write, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you spend at least 3 hours a day looking at fanfictions...writing fanfictions...or looking at others profiles than copy and paste this on your profile!

FANFICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you daydream 24/7, copy this to your profile.

Even when you cant see him GOD is there! if you belive in GOD put this in your profile

You think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

Many writers don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' If you happen to understand this mundanely ridiculous fact, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you want to be a writer and fanfiction is just the beginning, paste this into your profile.

People of the world who HATE math UNITE! If you hate math paste this into your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

Too many people have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, put this in your profile.

Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.

If you think cookies are awesome copy this onto your profile.

If you think writing is AWESOME copy this onto your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.

If you are sometimes anti-social, but still really personable, copy this to your profile.

If you avoid teen fads and don't live your life according to others copy and paste this.

If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you spend most of your life on youtube.com or fanfiction.net and you admit to it...you admit to having no life...if you do...copy and paste this to your profile!!

If you aren't me, paste this on your profile.

If you have a profile, paste this on your profile.

If you have any secrets, paste this on your profile.

If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile.

If you have music in your soul, copy this into your profile.

99 percent of all fanfiction, AMVs, fanart etc are Yaoi. If you are part of the last 1 percent that believes in non-Yoai pairings, put this into your profile.

If you love life, you better copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are a Sonic fan and hate the haters of Sonic games, copy and paste this onto your profile.

95 percent of girls would scream and cry if the guy who plays Edward in Twilight jumped off the Empire State Building without a bungee cord or anything. 4 percent would grab popcorn and yell "COOL!" If you are part of the 1 percent who would be pushing him off, add this to your profile!

99.9% of girls would die if Justin Beiber went missing if you are the remaining .1% that would be poking your prisoner with a metal stick put this on your profile (DOWN WITH JUSTIN BEIBER!!!!)

If you know sugar is the greatest plant ever grown, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile.

If you love to read, put this in your profile.

Some people say they are big readers. That they're so into books it's not funny. However the only way to tell is if they 1) Suddenly gasp when something exciting happens in the book. 2) Start talking to the book because that's not how they want the book to go. 3) Hurl the book across the room when one of their favorite characters dies. Copy and paste this if you are one of these people.

I'm the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, a nerd, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out ever. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are diffrent and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.

PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, creative-writing-girl13, Jasper 1006, DubbleV,GwenFan22, Harryismyheroicsavior, Hermione'sBFF454, Lilly Rae, daisyduke80,viva9626, CayennePeppr, OrangeSugar, StoriesAreMagic, Little Christian, Skipper917, Liliana Dragonshard,

To honor those that have died in the 9/11 attack by putting this in my profile. If you would like to as well, paste this in your profile and add your name to the list: Tortured Hylian Soul, Shadow Princess 15 (R.I.P Auntie Saria), Sword of the Twili, NightmarePossession, Ocarina of Twilight (May the lord bless their souls), Twilight Being92 (Poor people. I feel sorry for their families), cakedoughnutschickenboob (not cool) Ultra Drama Queen (R.I.P dudes and dudettes that died that fateful day, may God bless your souls), Wind Crystal, MewMewFerret, MewBleuberri, ANProductions (Damn fricken terrorists), ANMProductions (How in the HELL do you lose to a terrorist with a tiny little BOX CUTTER!) Dracula X (God bless America), Dark Maiden95 (I can't believe anyone would do something so horrible!), Kuro Rotasu (may those that lost their lives that day, find peace in heaven), Skipper917, Liliana Dragonshard,

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Takahane, Fire Thief, Sarah303, AfterDarkHours, Neji's fangirl, Kawazoe Michiyo, yinyanglover, Silver Curiosity,jadedfox2, Cicada kid, things24, Caption Echo,Firegirl101597, Skipper917, Liliana Dragonshard, Thank you people who are nice

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, Battleground Heart, Kaity the Chameleon, Chaos-Bound-Jenna, Kitten630,Minuit-the-Cat, Demonizedangel455, Skipper917, Liliana Dragonshard,

I've always been different from everyone else. I will never be normal. Uniqueness is a gift. If you have it enjoy it. Don't try to be normal it's useless. Be yourself. If other people don't like you that's their problem. If this is true about you copy and paste add your name to the list. Skipper917, Liliana Dragonshard,

Many people want very badly for fictional characters to exist. Little do they realize, That anything you can think of really can exist, in a different dimension. Considering the fact that there are an unlimited amount of dimensions, any kind of fictional character and/or universe really does exist! Copy and Paste this onto your profile if this made you have an amazing epiphany, and made you very happy (Also add your name to the list). District X, MISCrasyaboutfanfics, MoreThanMeetsTheEye231, ilikeanimeandmanga, Dark Maiden95, Skipper917, Liliana Dragonshard,

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism and add your name to the list, Skipper917, Liliana Dragonshard,

If you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can’t fight, copy and paste this into your profile

10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL

10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks
9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies
8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly
7. Our magazines have horiscopes
6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around
5. Our friends don't say "hi" by punching us in the arm
4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month
3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have
2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket
1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing

YOU'VE BEEN HANGING AROUND FANFICTION.NET FOR TOO LONG IF... (a few of which I am guilty of.)

1. You've read and liked so many stories that you can't review or favorite them all.

2. You've noticed a favorite story has been taken down the next day...or hour.

3. You've scoured a fandom you don't paticularly like for a good parody of the series.

4. You've carefully studied your fandom(s) for any big trends in other peoples stories...

5. ...And write something different (and/or downright weird) in a desperate attempt to get attention.

6. You've become fanatic about sticking to canon...except when you're writing the AU to end all those wimpy, unoriginal, cookie-cutter highschool AUs.

7. You've saved a bunch of fanart on your computer.

8. You've spotted at least twenty Mary Sue stories for each fandom you're a part of. Except, of course, for the tiny, practically non-existent ones.

9. You frequently visit Youtube to satisfy your craving for your favorite anime/cartoons/manga/t.v. shows/videogames.

10. You consider fanfic writing as a hobby and take it more seriously than any of your previous ones.

11. You're quite savvy about all the fanficcing terms.

12. You can barely remember the times when you weren't savvy about them.

13. Frusturated by the overwhelming numbers of Mary Sue-like OCs, you make a few yourself just to one-up all the amatuer fanfic writers out there.

14. You've become much too fond of one-upping every single amatuer fanfic writer you come across.

15. You automatically question the logic of any serious crossovers you come across. For the humorous ones, you grab some popcorn before watching the chaos unfold.

16. You constantly mock the rabid fangirls who hate any fictional girls that are closer to their idols than they can ever be.

17. You make up new copy-and-paste things to boost profile traffic.

Stop stereotypes! Copy this list into your profile and add any more that you can think of. Bold any that apply to you, leave ones that don’t in normal.

I'm into THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude

I'm GAY, so I MUST NOT be accepted by society

I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a *itch

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control

I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer

I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish

I'm a good actor/actress, so I MUST be a liar

I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone's ass

I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian

I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant

I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict

I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian

I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie

I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs

I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life

I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up

I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch

I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention

I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean

I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz

I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare

I'm PUNK, so I MUST slit my wrists

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist

I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic

I WATCH ANIME, so I MUST be a loser

I LOVE YAOI, so I MUST be a retard

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore with a jock boyfriend

I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy

I LOVE RENT, so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS

I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head

I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports

I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time

I'm not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi

I WEAR GLASSES and RETAINERS, so I MUST be a nerd

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm HALF ASIAN HALF BRITISH, so I MUST be short

I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser

I'm in Band, so I MUST be a geek

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible

I HAVE a BIG FAMILY, so WE MUST be financially challenged

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling *itch.

I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention

I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too

I COPIED AND PASTED THIS INTO MY PROFILE, so I MUST be a plagiarist

I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd

I FROWN a lot, so I MUST have a bad life

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans

I like to listen to HANNAH MONTANA, so I MUST be childish and immature

I am POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet

I don't have a SOCIAL LABEL, so I must just be Emo.

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be Emo.

I CUT so I MUST be SUICIDAL.

I’ve gone to THERAPY so I MUST be CRAZY.

I’m over-weight so I MUST love food.

I’m a WICCAN so I MUST like to SACRIFICE animal and cast spells.

I’m a WICCAN so I MUST be a DEVIL WORSHIPPER.

I’m IMPULSIVE so I MUST be STUPID.

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists

I CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT so I Must be a tree hugging hippie

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm JAMAICAN, so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN, so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I must have a sex-tape.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convienance store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be *ucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm BLACK so I must love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm BI so I MUST think everyone I see is hot.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm ASIAN, so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be hecked up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so i MUST think I'm black.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I love SHOPPING, so I MUST be rich

I'm WHITE so I must be responsible for everything wrong in this world - past and present

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I make ANIMAL SOUNDS when I am excited, happy, angry, sad, and everything in between, so I MUST be a crazy weirdo of a freak who isn't fit for 'our' society.

NONE OF THESE ARE TRUE!!! If you beleive that that any of these are true, then to heck with it! You can be twenty and like barbies, or be 6 and enjoy, no, LOVE really strong coffee! It doesn't matter who you are, how old you are, what you look like, or where you come from! NONE OF THIS IS TRUE!!!!!

If you hate how others are labeled in any of these ways, add your name to the list when you copy and paste.

Skipper917, Liliana Dragonshard,

FANFICTION- United States Of America!!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? Question mark? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!:

Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), Killer of thy Cookies (Singapore), Inspirational Spark (Both of us!)- United States, UmbraFox (Australia), XxJessalinAtaroxX (USA), Gatita101(USA), Redsparrow3, Onika Layton (UK), Vira Layton (USA), courtara (USA), SapphireDellaRobbia(USA), Skipper917 (USA), Liliana Dragonshard(USA),

SOMEBODY'S RAISING THEIR KID RIGHT!

One Nation, 'Under God.'

One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a

classroom. The teacher was going to explain

evolution to the children. The teacher asked

a little boy: Tommy do you see the tree

outside?

TOMMY: Yes..

TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass

outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see

if you can see the sky.

TOMMY: Okay (He returned a few minutes

later) Yes, I saw the sky.

TEACHER: Did you see God up there?

TOMMY: No.

TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see

God because he isn't there. Possibly he just

doesn't exist.

A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the

boy some questions.

The teacher agreed and the little girl asked

the boy: Tommy, do you see the tree

outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass

outside?

TOMMY: Yessssss!

LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?

TOMMY: Yessssss!

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the

teacher?

TOMMY: Yes

LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?

TOMMY: No

LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we

were taught today in school, she possibly

may not even have one!

Please read-true story (not me)

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

3) Add your name to the end of the list if this a) made you beleive, b) broke your heart or c) both a and b: Skipper917, Liliana Dragonshard,

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to , I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.'

He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'

There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes.We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!' He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.

I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.

Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!

Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.' I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.

I saw his Mom and Dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.

You now have two choices, you can : 1) Put this on your profile or 2) Forget you read this and act like it didn't touch your heart. As you can see, I took choice number 1.

'Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.'There is no beginning or end.. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift'.

True Story

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer then planned, and had to walk home alone. She hasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he was waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped around her, she felt though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley way just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recogize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she can identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man have been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they can do for her. She asked if they can ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

Jenny was so happy about the house they had found.
For once in her life it was on the right side of town.
She unpacked her things with such great ease
As she watched her new curtains blow in the breeze.
How wonderful it was to have her own room.
School would be starting, she'd have friends over soon,
There'd be sleep-overs and parties; she was so happy;
It's just the way she wanted her life to be.
On the first day of school, everything went great--
She made new friends and even got a date!
She thought, "I want to be popular and I'm going to be,
Because I just got a date with the star of the team!"
To be known in this school you had to have a clout,
And dating this guy would sure help her out.
There was only one problem stopping her fate--
Her parents had said she was too young to date.
"Well, I just won't tell them the entire truth.
They won't know the difference; what's there to lose?"

Jenny asked to stay with her friends that night.
Her parents frowned but said, "All right."
Excited, she got ready for the big event
But as she rushed around like she had no sense,
She began to feel guilty about all the lies;
But what's a pizza, a party, and a moonlight ride?

Well the pizza was good, and the party was great.
But the moonlight ride would have to wait,
For Jeff was half drunk by this time.
But he kissed her and said that he was just fine.
Then the room filled with smoke and Jeff took a puff.
Jenny couldn't believe he was smoking that stuff.
Now Jeff was ready to ride to the point,
But only after he'd smoked another joint.

They jumped in the car for the moonlight ride,
Not thinking that he was too drunk to drive.
They finally made it to the point at last,
And Jeff started trying to make a pass.
A pass is not what Jenny wanted at all
(and by a pass, I don't mean playing football).
"Perhaps my parents were right...maybe I am too young.
Boy, how could I ever, ever be so dumb."
With all of her might, she pushed Jeff away:
"Please take me home, I don't want stay."
Jeff cranked up the engine and floored the gas.
In a matter of seconds they were going too fast.
As Jeff drove on in a fit of wild anger,
Jenny knew that her life was in danger.
She begged and pleaded for him to slow down,
But he just got faster as they neared the town.
"Just let me get home! I'll confess that I lied.
I really went out for a moonlight ride."

Then all of a sudden, she saw a big flash.
"Oh, God, Please help us! We're going to crash!"
She doesn't remember the force of impact--
Just that everything all of a sudden went black.

She felt someone remove her from the twisted rubble,
And heard, "Call an ambulance! These kids are in trouble!"
Voices she heard...a few words at best.
But she knew there were two cars involved in the wreck.
Then wondered to herself if Jeff was all right,
And if the people in the other car were alive.
She awoke in the hospital to faces so sad.
"You've been in a wreck and it looks pretty bad."
These voices echoed inside her head,
As they gently told her that Jeff was dead.
They said, "Jenny, we've done all we can do.
But it looks as if we'll lose you, too."

"But the people in the other car?" Jenny cried.
"We're sorry, Jenny, they also died."
Jenny prayed, "God, forgive me for what I've done.
I only wanted to have just one night of fun.
Tell those people's family, I've made their lives dim,
And wish I could return their families to them.
Tell Mom and Dad I'm sorry I lied,
And that it's my fault so many have died.
Oh, nurse, won't you please tell them that for me?"

The nurse just stood there--she never agreed--
But took Jenny's hand with tears in her eyes.
And a few moments later, Jenny died.
A man asked the nurse, "Why didn't you do your best
To bid that girl her one last request?"
She looked at the man with eyes so sad.
"Because the people in the other car were her mom and dad."

This story is sad and unpleasant but true.
So young people, take heed. It could have been you.

I HATE child abuse:

My name is Tiffany

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is tiffany

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

And you can help

Sickens me top the soul,

And if you read this

and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

One heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

And because you are effected,

Do something about it!

So all i ask you to do

Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE

Please pass it on.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month One

Mommy

I am only eight inches long

but I have all my organs.

I love the sound of your voice.

Everytime I hear it

I wave my arms and legs.

The sound of your heartbeat

is my favorite lullaby.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Two

Mommy

today I learned how to suck my thumb.

If you could see me

You could definetly tell that I am a baby.

I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.

It's so warm and nice in here.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Three

You know what Mommy?

I'm a boy!!

I hope that makes you happy.

I always want you to be happy.

I don't like it when you cry.

You sound so sad.

It makes me sad too

and I cry with you even though

you cant hear me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Four

Mommy

My hair is starting to grow.

It is very short and fine

but I will have a lot of it.

I spend a lot of my time exercising.

I can curl my head and curl my fingers and toes

and stretch my arms and legs

I am becoming quite good at it too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.

Mommy, he lied to you.

He said that I'm not a baby.

I am a baby Mommy, your baby.

I think and feel.

Mommy, whats ambortion?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.

I dont like him.

He seems cold and heartless.

Something is intruding my home.

The doctor called it a needle.

Mommy, what is it? It burns!

Please make him stop!

I cant get away from it!

Mommy! HELP ME!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Seven

Mommy

I am OK.

I am in Jesus' arms.

He is holding me.

He told me about abortion.

Mommy, why didn't you want me?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Every abortion is just...

One more heart that was stopped

Two more eyes that will never see

Two more hands that will never touch

Two more legs that will never run

One more mouth that will never speak.

Abortion is wrong. People are here on Earth for a reason, and some crazy mothers don't want their babies.

If you are against abortion copy and paste!!

Child Abuse

IF YOU IGNORE THIS WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART.

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic
Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"Please God, why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
And the poor child was beaten
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrust the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dieing
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
Then quickly barged in
Everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

If this made you cry, put it in you profile. STOP CHILD ABUSE!!

If this does not bring tears to your eyes are even stirs your heart, then you a cold bastard that doesn't deserve the luxury of a nice house, warm food, and a soft bed.

One More Soul That Never Got A Chance…

I just wanted to be a good family cat. Play around with children and sleep with my owners. I never thought this would happen…

“I would like that one.”

I never thought I would be chosen. To be one of the poor souls here. I never wanted any of this…

“Are you sure? There are many others to choose from.”

I-I just wanted to live a happy life, in a warm home. Not here, in this hell…

“Yes I’m sure.”

I whimper in pain as a caliper clamps down on my neck. I am raised out of my cage, the other 13 cats staring at me with sad eyes…

“How would you like it?”

It is hard to breath as I am just hanging here. I recount my life. All the cats I hear and see killed. I even feel for the dogs who get the same treatment. It sickens me to see it, and now it’s happening to me…

“Half-dead.”

I begin to pant as I see a man go over and get a metal pole…

“Are you sure you want it half-dead now?”

Please, say no. Just let him kill me and get it over with…

“Yes I am sure.”

I cry out in pain as the pole hit me in the head. He reared back and hit me harder. My blood splatters the ground…

“Harder. I want to leave soon, I have a meeting to go to at 1.”

Smack

Gasp

Smack

Whimper

Smack

Twitch

I breath faintly as my wounds gush out blood, my fur soaked in my own blood. I now only can twitch as the pole beats me…

“That good?”

Please, let him just finish me off…

“Yes.”

I am tossed into a bag, and I breath very slowly. Here I am bleeding to death in a plastic bag…

“Thank you for your services sir.”

Why doesn’t someone do something? I am a living creature just like them! I did nothing wrong! So what did I do to deserve this?

“Your welcome, and I will come back for another soon.”

More condemned to this life. To this life of torture. A cat deserves a family, the ability to play with toys, have kits, and sleep in the crook of a bent knee. Not this, nothing deserves this…

“Have a good day sir.”

My breath has almost stopped, most of blood now gone. I close my eyes and wait for the death that is coming. My heart slowly stops, my life now over. I guess I was just one more soul that never got a chance…But I have been given a second, as Jesus lifts me up, and takes me Heaven, so with the children I can play.

Copy and Paste this into your profile if this made you sick and feel for the animals in pain all over the world.

HOW COULD YOU? - By Jim Willis, 2001

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- But then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love. She, now your wife is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.

Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.

There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog ," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.
Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family, " but there was a time when I was your only family

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the 2 nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago & made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads & asked "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.

When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days.

As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty? At least now I sit, by Gods humble throne.

If the story above affected you as much as it did me, please copy and paste this onto your own profile.

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from yourself.

You have two choices... smile and close this page,
or pass this along to someone else to share the lesson.

You want to know something that I don't get? Anything that has the word permanent in it. I mean, they're not permanent. Everything fades away eventually. Take this for example.

I was walking out of a gas station when I saw this little girl who looked like she was about seven. She was scratched up and crying, and her clothes where tattered and her body covered in dirt and scratches. I walked closer to her and noticed she was sobbing. Totally heart broken, and her face was clean where the tears fell. I noticed everyone was just walking past her, not giving her a second glance. I immediately thought of that old Bible story, the good Samaritan, and felt myself get a little angry. I walked up to the little girl, and knelt down next to her.
"Why are you crying?" I asked her gently. She calmed down ever so slightly as she noticed I was standing there.
"Why do people think things are permanent?" she asked me, her voice sweet, but there was so much hurt and sorrow in it, I barely noticed. I almost fell on my bottom, the question surprised me, but her voice even more so. I took in her features, or what I saw beneath the dirt. She had pearly white skin, rosy red cheeks and lips, crystal blue eyes, and long, choppy, raven black hair. But her face showed sadness and sorrow, just like her voice.
"I-I don't know. Because if they believe things are permanent, maybe everything will last." my answer was more like a question, but she didn't seem to notice. She shook her head sadly, her eyes closed tightly.
"Nothing last forever. Nothing is permanent. My mommy left me and my daddy in a fire that burned our house down, destroying almost everything we had. We were driving to grandpa's house, when our car broke down, a couple miles back. We've been walking for hours, and daddy is trying to get drinks inside." She took a deep breath, and I could feel my heart shatter as she told me her story. She looked me dead in the eye, her crystal blue eyes had a lonely light in them, and we stared at each other.
"Daddy is broken now. So am I. Mommy is with God, but she left us alone. Nothing is permanent. Nothing." she started to cry again, and my heart practically stopped. I picked her up, surprising her so much that she stopped crying and stared at me in shock, and I marched back into the station.
"Where is your daddy?" I asked her, and she pointed to a man with the same hair and eyes as the little girl. He too was dirty, his clothes tattered, and had scratches.. He was trying to pay for some water and snacks, but he didn't have enough money. I marched over, shooed him aside, and payed for everything. As I gave them to him, he stared at me in shock, noticing his little girl in my arms, no longer crying, but staring at her dad.
He started to say something, but I put the girl down and raised a hand to stop him.
"No need to thank me" I said smiling slightly. "You can do that after I drive you to your dad's house." The little girl looked up at me with awe, a hopeful light gleaming in her eyes, and it warmed me to the bone.
As I drove back home that night, I thought about what the little girl told me. After a while, I decided that she was absolutely right. Nothing lasts forever. Nothing is Permanent.

True story. Now, I hope that all of you who think that life if perfect, all of you who think that it'll stay that wayforever, get that it won't be like that for ever. And that you won't just sit back, not worrying one bit about the next day, because you have everything right now. News flash, everything and anything could change your life at the worst times, and not always for the good. You could lose everything.
If this story made you think about life, or anything in general, really isn't 'permanent', or that you totally agree with me, copy this onto your profile, and send this same message that I just sent you. Remember, NOTHING IS PERMANENT... Nothing except God.

Would you do this?

Girl: Slow down!

Guy: No this is fun!

Girl: No it's not! Please, it's way to scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you. Now slow down.

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

(She gave him a big hug.)

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself? It's bothering me.

In the newspaper, the next day, a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure.

Two people were on it and only one survived.

The truth was, that half way down the road the guy realized his brakes were out and he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so she would live even if it meant he would die.

Answer these questions, NO CHEATING!!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite gender.

2. Which is the best: red, black, green, blue, or yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which is cooler, black or white?

6. Name a person of your same gender.

7. What's your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Which is prettier, lakes of oceans?

10. What is your wish?

Done with that?

Here are the answers:

1. You are in love with this person.

2. If you chose: Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Blue: You are spontaneous and enjoy kisses and affection from the ones you love.

Green: Your soul is laid back and you are reserved.

Yellow: You are a happy person and give good advice for those who are down.

3. If your initial is: A-K: You have lots of love and friendship in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life will soon blossom.

S-Z: You are a good friend and your future love life look very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: This year will go well for you and very soon you will fall in love with someone you would have least expected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a good year and experience a major life changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but you will eventually find your soulmate.

5. If you chose: Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will like the change.

White: You will have a friend who completley confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you will have in a lifetime.

8. If you chose:

California: You love adventure.

Florida: You are a laid back person.

9. If you chose:

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. You are reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will become true before your next birthday.