ChairThiefhide bio
 Author has written 8 stories for Team Fortress 2, Thomas the Tank Engine, Invader Zim, Lord of the Rings, Cuphead, and Adventure Time with Finn and Jake. Pluviophile; Male, 23, professional overthinker, friendly provider of home-grown lackadaisical optimism. I like 1920′s-1950′s style, classy vintage mobsters with flat eyes and sinister magics, NOTE: Fanfiction.net really doesn't like when I try to copy and paste my work, which is my typical modus operandi, and I often forget that this is the case. That being how it is, sometimes my work ends up published with some very bizarre errors in formatting that make it almost entirely unreadable. If this goes for more than a day without being fixed, I'm likely unaware of the issue, in which case, please message me to let me know there's a problem. Happy reading! |
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Vultures Rush In by usefulobject reviews
After Mordor falls, a hunter from the Misty Mountains joins a displaced Isengard Uruk in hopes of claiming some of the loot in the ruins of Sauron's domain. Along the journey they develop unexpected (totally expected) feelings. Can they get the big cash money wad or will they die like pigs in hell? Slash.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 33,172 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 10/23/2019 - Published: 2/2/2014 - Orc, Uruk-hai
Splint by helenamarkos reviews
An injured Ranger finds himself with an unlikely rescuer.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 72 - Words: 410,326 - Reviews: 764 - Favs: 628 - Follows: 575 - Updated: 9/10/2018 - Published: 10/28/2011 - Orc, Human
For A Good Time by Vixen Argentum reviews
Akon snuck into Mayuri's office and reprogrammed Mayuri's emergency cell phone to disguise his voice. As a practical joke, he gets Rin to write the number on the wall of an izakaya's restroom. After a series of events, Urahara gets his hands on the number rumored to be for a woman with an irresistibly beautiful voice.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,682 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 10/12/2014 - Published: 7/25/2014 - [K. Urahara, Mayuri K.] Nemu K., Akon
Just Another Night at Freddy's: Night Two: The Break In by DeltaV reviews
There's a crime spree going on, targeting places that have held more than their fair share of controversy. And Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria is a prime target. Rated T for "bad words," violence, and sorta-not-really vague death and gore. Basically PG-13.
Five Nights at Freddy´s - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,279 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 387 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 9/23/2014 - Published: 9/14/2014 - Complete
Pillow Fort King by AcidColored reviews
Pyro has fun while the others are busy. Soldier helps, Engineer keeps pyro some company, and Scout wrecks their fun. Light Texas Toast fluff.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 797 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 4/30/2014 - Published: 2/27/2014 - [Pyro, Engineer] Soldier, Scout - Complete
Nightmares and Pink Syrup by Hypnogogia reviews
Fluffy oneshot. Pyro wakes up in the middle of the night feeling ill. Thankfully, there's someone he can always go to. Pyro/Engie friendship.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,931 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 8 - Published: 7/10/2013 - Engineer, Pyro - Complete
Lost in Mist by MeZaKi93 reviews
A young historian asks Edward to tell him about World War II on Sodor. I do not own TTTE characters. The story may not correspond with events in the Railway Series or television series.
Thomas the Tank Engine - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 28,113 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 7/6/2013 - Published: 12/1/2012 - Edward
Getting it out of My System & Other Stories by The Raging Blue Flame reviews
Sodor's number three and four always had a thing for each other; but neither ever came forward. Until an incident on the main line forces them to.
Thomas the Tank Engine - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,005 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 5/5/2013 - Published: 4/24/2013 - Henry, Gordon, James, Emily - Complete
Lament by GaaLee-girl-13 reviews
"Midnight an' someone's still playin' god damned classical music? I swear..." Quick Medic/Scout fluff drabble thing cause there's not enough fluff out there for this pairing. Rated T so I don't get yelled at for any brief language.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 691 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/21/2013 - Medic, Scout - Complete
Bedtime Stories by kronosdragon reviews
Pyro always enjoyed listening to his teammates. He was never one to speak much, but his passion for storytelling lives in his love of listening to them. When he isn't being told stories by the Medic, he often listens the burdens of his other teammates. Oneshot, very short. Enjoy.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,532 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 9 - Published: 3/20/2013 - Engineer, Pyro - Complete
Thiesel: A Sensual Awakening by brontolina reviews
A dark and smouldering older engine gives Thomas a trial by fire into the Isle of Sodor's steamy underbelly.
Thomas the Tank Engine - Rated: M - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 697 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/11/2012 - Published: 12/10/2012 - Thomas, Diesel
Awkward Time with Lemongrab & Lemongrab by sinovenator reviews
A collection of Lemonzest (Lemongrab/Lemongrab clone) one-shots I originally wrote for Tumblr. Thought I'd start posting them here too.
Adventure Time with Finn and Jake - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,118 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 11/10/2012 - Published: 10/29/2012 - Earl of Lemongrab, Earl of Lemongrab 2
Sam and Mark by Napeter93 reviews
Its 1976. Sam and Mark are two cops who are stuck on stakeout duty who rise to the call when a certain gumball machine is kidnapped. Rated M for language and disturbing scenes.
Regular Show - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,634 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/21/2012 - Benson
Conspiracy Theories by Kaldrake reviews
Why goblins should never be allowed into Shattrath, and how it affected Silvermoon City. One-shot. Goblin, blood elf. No pairings. Original Character
Warcraft - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,530 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Published: 8/1/2011 - Goblin, Blood Elf - Complete
Hello, Little Girl by SkullratSG reviews
Scout meets a little girl in the middle of 2fort. Rated M for language.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,134 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 1/22/2011 - Scout
Diesels and Passengers by DarthWill3 reviews
While Thomas is away from his branch line, Diesel is tasked with taking care of Annie and Clarabel. He doesn't really know how to take passengers, so Daisy will be his mentor. Will she succeed in teaching him? Find out! Read & review, please.
Thomas the Tank Engine - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,577 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/1/2010 - Thomas, Diesel, Daisy - Complete
The Only Family We Have by Beth Einspanier reviews
When it looks like another Christmas will pass without any gifts for Pyro, one of his teammates reaches out in a gesture of friendship. Reviews welcome!
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 978 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 208 - Follows: 26 - Published: 1/8/2010 - Pyro, Scout - Complete
Edward's dare by Xenogurl101 reviews
The engines play a innocent game of dares. When it's Edward's turn to choose a dare, Duck and Diesel are very anxious about the next day. Could be considered slash, but I like to think of it as funny.
Thomas the Tank Engine - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,018 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/1/2010 - Duck, Diesel
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
Knight Errant reviews
Stranded in an unfamiliar land, the singular survivor of an expedition decimated by the wrath of an ancient evil, Finn struggles to rise from the ashes of the life he's left behind- and dares to put hope in the future. / Post-Apocalyptic Neo-Medieval AU. / Sorry for the weird error, I fixed it.
Adventure Time with Finn and Jake - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,390 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/8/2019 - Finn, Jake
Trouble's Confidante reviews
Cuphead and his brother Mugman are young mail carriers with a simple life on Inkwell Isle. However when they are abducted by an eerie stranger and cast into a strange and frightening new world, they meet some unlikely new friends, and find that they can be braver than they'd ever imagined in their quest to find a way back home. [ AU - Bendy and the Ink Machine crossover ]
Cuphead - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Crime - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,287 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 1/22/2018 - Published: 12/21/2017 - Cuphead, Mugman, The Devil, King Dice
Rain, Rain reviews
Go away, come again another day.. When the soggy cups turned up at King Dice's house smack dab in the middle of a rainy evening, his first thought was to tell them to beat it. But when Cuphead's tremulous little request was made as he clasped his hands together and begged for Dice to let him and his brother stay.. Dice couldn't seem to find the brass to ignore them.
Cuphead - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,065 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 10 - Published: 12/30/2017 - Cuphead, Mugman, King Dice - Complete
Courting reviews
A brief look into the creepy world of a she-Orc who becomes enamoured with a he-Elf, and her following pursuit of him. Currently a one-shot but I may consider adding further chapters in the future.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 755 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/22/2015 - Elf, Orc
Cosmic reviews
"Wow!" He yelled. Eyes wide with wonder, with disbelief, the few split seconds in which he was able to catch a glimpse of the thing seemed to pass in slow motion. It couldn't be. It couldn't be.. But it was. (AU; In which Zim is an Irken scout on a reconnaissance mission; And Dib is a young adult with a comparatively normal life.)
Invader Zim - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,674 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 1/18/2015 - Published: 4/18/2014 - Zim, Dib
Fools Like Us reviews
A wealthy visitor comes to Sodor; with glittering promises of grandeur, she entices Henry into leaving with her. But he soon discovers that not everyone is who they say they are, and sometimes friends can be found in the unlikeliest of places.
Thomas the Tank Engine - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Crime - Chapters: 20 - Words: 29,822 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 9/2/2014 - Published: 8/27/2013 - Henry, Diesel, OC
Grease and Oil reviews
"Diesel was not easy to please, nor was he ever looking for any interaction that wouldn't benefit him in some way. Selfish and petty, he expected to be sought after, and ignored any advance he found inadequate. " Oneshot
Thomas the Tank Engine - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 704 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Published: 10/3/2013 - Diesel, Diesel 10
Under The Mask reviews
"The hell..?" He dropped the mask and drew back a bit, unsure what to think. The Pyro was, undeniably, /ugly/, no two ways about it whatsoever. But after the initial shock passed, the Scout found himself getting curious again. Everybody had a story.. And he wanted to know what this guy's was.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,489 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 8/17/2013 - Published: 8/8/2013 - Pyro, Scout
