Updated 05/14/2016

Eschew obfuscation. Excessive verbosity is not conducive to comprehension.

The cheek of every American must tingle with shame as he reads the silly, flat, and dishwatery utterances

of the man who has to be pointed out to intelligent foreigners as the President of the United States.

-The Chicago Tribune review of the Gettysburg Address

Info

Most Frequented Fandoms and My Preferred Pairings Within: Teen Titans (BB/Rae, Rob/Star, Cy/Jinx, Mae-Eye/Rancid) Harry Potter (Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, Tonks/Lupin) Avatar: The Last Airbender (Tokka, Kataang, Maiko, Moppa) Kim Possible (Kim/Ron, Barkin/World)

Status: CONTEMPLATING RESSURECTION

What's Your Sign?: No Passing Zone

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Quotes

"They were talking about the shock the conscience standard, all right? And they pointed out that if they took you and me, all right, people of our age, and put us, you and me, through what Marine Corps recruits go through at Parris Island and forced us to do that, that would probably shock the conscience. But it's not illegal to do it to Marine Corps recruits, all right?"
-CIA Director Gen. Michael V. Hayden, USAF

"You see now, sire, the fruits of victory. Next to a battle lost, the saddest thing is a battle won."-
-Marshall Saxe, to Louis XV after the French victory at Fontenoy

"Familiarity breeds contempt--and children."
-Mark Twain

"Dear Dogbert; my parents told me that every time I ask Santa for a gift, an angel will lose its wings. That seems like a fair arrangement to me, but is there any risk the wingless angel would fall on my head and kill me? Sincerely, Brent. Dear Bent; wingless angels generally burn up on reentry. It’s nothing that a little shampoo can’t cure. Sincerely, Dogbert."
-Scott Adams

Opinions and Rants

On Points of View

I’ve noticed a particularly disturbing trend in fanfictions ever since I started reading them a few years ago, and that is some authors’ habit of creating abrupt changes in perspective and/or narration through simply slapping a (Billy Bob’s POV) into the middle of their story. You’ve got to be joking, right? How hard is it to either a) stick to one point of view throughout a story, or b) let the reader know that a change has occurred through the use of a scene divider and the proper use of context. Just lobbing a bolded eyesore into the middle of the page is... well, it’s just not right. The same can be said of flashbacks (it’s one word, people). A little context (“Billy Bob thought back to his cousin’s third wedding...”), some scene dividers, and italicizing the entire flashback is a much more appropriate than chucking out a (Flashback) and (End Flashback) before and after the back of flashing in question.

On Tipping

If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to eat out.

Didn't like the service? Speak to the manager, but tip anyways.

Protesting the fact that the customer is expected to pay the server's wages instead of the restaurant? Write your Congressman to get things changed, but tip generously until they do.

On Writing

Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, use correct spelling. Use the proper forms of "hoping, "hopping," "quite," "quiet," "patients," "patience," "conscience," "conscious," "envelope," "envelop," "waste," "waist," "poll," "pole," "role," "roll," "apologies," "apologize," "straight," "strait," "threw," "through," "to," "two," "too," "their," "there," "they're," "effect," "affect," "lose," "loose," "conceited," "conceded," "past," "passed," "site," "sight," "breath," "breathe," "prophecy," "prophesy," "brake," "break," "presence," "presents," "you," "your," "you're," "bare," "bear," "aloud," and "allowed." Use apostrophes when (and only when) appropriate, put punctuation after the parentheses and inside the quotation marks, don't forget that capitalization is the difference between "I helped my Uncle Jack off the horse" and something completely different, create a new paragraph whenever the speaker changes, and avoid the plethora of other commonly made writing mistakes. Once or twice is understandable- nobody's perfect, especially myself. But there comes a point where typographical carelessness lapses into bad writing. Please, for your readers' sanity, proofread your papers. A good story requires good delivery as well as good content- one or the other alone is not enough. Spellcheck alone is insufficient.

Another thing to do is to vary your vocabulary. I read a story once (or more precisely, the first chapter of a story) that used the same word to describe the same character five times in five consecutive sentences. Repeatedly. If you're using it as a literary device, then good on you. In all other situations, mixing up your terminology helps.

I don't never use me no double negatives.

Spelling, punctuation, and grammar are to writing as canaries are to coal mines. When they're hurtin', it's time to get the hell out of Dodge.

Some Things On the Drawing Board

The Fortunate Son: "Whatever you may have heard," an uncharacteristically serious Ron said, "allow me to set you straight: squibbin' ain't easy."

Second Sight: A traumatic encounter with Red X leaves Raven in the dark and out of commission. But Beast Boy has an idea, and it just might be stupid enough to work.

Titles Without Stories: Available

I like coming up with titles. Feel free to steal these, if you want. My only request is that you tell me when you post, so I can read them! Be aware, these titles will stay up as Available until you inform me of your posting.

Bang: There is no terror in a bang, only in the anticipation of it.

Barefoot and Pregnant: As he reached the apex of his flight through the air, Sokka finally came to understand why Mai and Zuko had been referring to him in the past tense ever since Toph had announced her pregnancy.

Better Lucky Than Good

Blight

The Doom Song

Everafter

From the Barrel of a Gun

Game Theory

The Green Mile: 'We each owe a death; there are no exceptions; but, oh God, sometimes the green mile seems so long.'

Impartial: The world breaks everyone, and those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. Apologies to Ernest Hemingway.

In Short: Don’t you hate it when authors claim to “suck at summaries” in their summaries? Well, that is certainly not the case with this author! I am completely and utterly awesometastic at writing summaries for my stories, and the proof of that is right here:

The King of Wishful Thinking

The Last Inspection: Step forward now, you soldier, you've borne your burdens well. Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets- you've done your time in Hell.

Less than Three: Greater than one.

Melian: The strong do what they can, and the weak suffer what they must.

Minor Premise

Moopstag: You wouldn't get it.

O Fortuna!: Because Fate lays low the brave, all join with me in lamentation:

Ode: She walks in beauty, like the night, of cloudless climes and starry skies, and all that's best of dark and bright, meets in her aspect and her eyes. Apologies to Lord Byron.

One Bright Day: Back to back, they faced each other, drew their swords and shot the other...

Over Her Shoulder: Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean someone isn't out to get you.

Revelations: Fallen, fallen is Babylon the great! She has become a dwelling place of demons and a prison of every unclean spirit, and a prison of every unclean and hateful bird.

Rise Up Singing

Room 101: 'You asked me once what was in Room 101. I told you that you knew the answer already. Everyone knows it. The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world.' As Raven remembered Dr. Light, she couldn't help but think that she would have fit in quite nicely at the Ministry of Love.

Running Gag

Skittish

Though Heaven May Fall: Let justice be done.

A Time to Play: (Dystopian AU) Come all you young rebels and list while I sing, for love of one's land is a terrible thing. It banishes fear with the speed of a flame, and makes us all part of the Patriot Game.

Viridian Velveteen

What's Left Over

I believe that to call an author's work original is to pay them the highest compliment.

Being the last man on earth ain't all it's cracked up to be.