Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

Author's Note: Because I can.

He is already dead, stabbed with a white wench's black eye… the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy's butt shaft.
-William Shakespeare


Never Died, Never Will

In all honesty, the girl had brought it upon herself. One does not simply throw away Mother's influence as one would the kitchen refuse. It's simply not done. You'd think they'd have learned after that Hyp… Hippo… guy. God, names were getting hard to remember these days.

The boy shook his head, clearing his brain of the distracting thoughts clouding his mind. Of all the marks he'd pursued for Mother before, this was easily the most… troublesome. He couldn't afford to let himself become sidetracked and run the risk of capture.

Not that they could hold him, anyways. Still, it would be humiliating for one of them to catch him. Such things one could never live down. Hell, his family still taunted Auntie A. about that weaving girl. And nobody could forget Grandpa P. and King Ody-something.

The boy suddenly frowned, berating himself for becoming distracted again. Suddenly, to his considerable relief, his quarry came into view.

Thank the gods, they're finally here! They took their sweet time, now didn't they?!

He reached behind him into his quiver, drawing out his most potent shaft- Mother had made it especially for this child's destruction. Apparently, she was a "tough cookie" and needed some "extra motivation."

Mother really needs to lay off the B-movies, thought the boy, nocking his arrow.

He closed an eye, let out all his breath, took aim, and released the string.

The fated missile flew straight and true.


Beast Boy and Raven were walking through the woods, engaged in a seemingly fruitless search.

"You're hopeless, Beast Boy. You know that, right?"

"Look, I said I was sorry! I didn't mean to knock off your communicator, alright? It was an accident!" The green teen seemed to be a little exasperated, having belabored this point for the past hour.

"Accident or not, Robin is going to have our hides if we don't find the thing- remember the last time one of the bad guys got a communicator? Even if it was destroyed by the fall, we can't…"

"I know, I know!" he interrupted. "Doctor Light will get our communicator and use its top-secret technology to fashion some giant space magnifying glass to- ow!" Beast Boy rubbed the bump forming on the back of his head. "What was that for?"

"Do you really need to ask that?" Raven asked.

Beast Boy mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that?!"

"I said… hey! There it is!"

Saved by the… yellow plastic doohickey.

Raven floated over the wrecked communicator, checking quickly to make sure that all the vital components were in her possession. They were.

"Alright Beast Boy, everything's here." She turned to face her companion. "Let's go ho-urk!"

Raven felt a hot stinging sensation in her back, as though someone had plunged a fiery knife into her heart. Clutching her chest frantically, she dropped the communicator.

"Rae… are you okay?"

She tried to speak, but as she stared at her team mate, the words just wouldn't form themselves. The world began to spin furiously and her knees buckled. Luckily, Beast Boy caught her before her head struck the ground, saving her the pain of a headache to accompany the searing pain in her chest.

"Raven! Oh god Raven, what's wrong!? Talk to me, Rae!"

The edge of Raven's vision went dim, and the last thing she remembered before passing out was seeing Beast Boy's terrified eyes staring down at her and smiling back at him.

Gar…field…


The boy chuckled to himself at the scene taking place below him. The girl had fought valiantly, but her struggle was in vain. Mother's magic was impossible to resist. As always, the battle was over before it had begun.

His low chuckles nearly erupted into full blown laughter as the girl stirred once more, putting more weight on the green boy than was necessary as he led her out of the woods.

One shot, one kill.

Cupid never missed.


Author's Note 2: Contrary to the previous note that occupied this space, this is going to remain a oneshot. The story I had conceived to follow never really developed a conclusion, and I have enough stories flapping in the wind already. My apologies to anyone eagerly anticipating more mythological mayhem from myself.