Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.
Author's Note: There are two authors that I think I've borrowed enough from to need to cite them as sources for this story. The first author is El Queso de Malicioso, whose story All I Can See gave me the idea ages ago, as well as provided the "Raven flips out" scene that I unintentionally mimicked much more than I had the right to. The second author is Tammy Tamborine, whose story Sometimes, Love Needs Less is the source of an extremely important idea, without which this probably would be over after four chapters.
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
-Frank Herbert
Cheerful and Optimistic, Right?
To his credit, the plan was ingenious. Never before in Titans history had such an elaborate string of events been so carefully coordinated and executed in the pointless pursuit of the perfect prank. Beast Boy had only made two mistakes. Unfortunately, as mistakes go, they were deadly serious.
He had gone too far, and he had gotten caught.
It had started with a few little things, early in the morning. Her alarm clock went off five minutes earlier than it should, and wouldn't stop buzzing until she blew it up. A little grumpier than usual, she went down to the kitchen for her morning tea. To her considerable surprise, she found that the tea inside the bag had been replaced with something… far less pleasant. Her agitation only increased when Starfire entered the room, and gleefully congratulated the dark Titan on her "glorious decoration" on the back of her cloak. Puzzled, Raven examined her cloak and found an enormous happy face bleached into the fabric. Two portals later, however, the problem was rectified.
She muttered under her breath about "immature changelings" and sat down on the couch to read. Slowly, the rest of the team filtered in, until everybody but Beast Boy was present. After a few hours of blessed peace and quiet, the empath stood up and started to stretch, halting when she realized that the couch cushions had migrated along with her. Someone, it seemed, had managed to superglue them to her cloak.
POOF!
As it turned out, her entire cloak was covered in the sticky substance. When the pillows exploded, the cotton inside firmly attached itself to Raven, giving her an appearance not unlike Little Bo Peep's lost little sheep. Two portals later, and Raven was on her third cloak- before lunch, even. Twitching slightly, she turned to face the three Titans in the room.
"Where. Is. Beast. Boy." It was less of a question and more of an order laced with not-so-veiled death threats.
"Now Raven," said Cyborg, backing up a step. "You know how Beast Boy is- he's dumb enough to prank you, but not nearly stupid enough to hang around and get caught!"
Raven sighed. She'd have to kill him tomorrow then.
"I'm going to go meditate up on the roof. If you see Beast Boy… never mind."
And with that, she left the room.
Azarath. Metrion. Zinthos.
The empath floated quietly up on the roof, no green superheroes in sight.
Azarath. Metrion. Zinthos.
She cracked an eye open and looked around, just to be sure.
Azarath. Metrion. Zinthos.
Hmmm. Has that rock always been up here?
Azarath. Metrion. Zinthos.
I wonder… no! It's not important. Ignore the rock.
Azarath. Metrion. Zinthos.
The rock isn't important. The rock isn't there. The rock shouldn't be there.
Azarath. Metrion. Zinth...
Well, one tiny peek can't hurt.
Raven floated over towards the rock sitting innocently near the edge of the roof, pondering how it had gotten up here. Without a second thought, she picked it up.
HONK! Psssssht!
An air horn brutally shattered the peace, scaring Raven so badly that half the windows on the top floor cracked. The three cans of Silly String that sprayed all over her finished off the other half.
Four cloaks. He was going to get it.
The rest of the day had gone by uneventfully- Raven had simply refused to leave the common room. If she didn't move, Beast Boy couldn't lay any traps for her to fall into.
How wrong she was.
Ten o'clock came around, and Raven decided to turn in for the night. Cautiously, she made her way to her room, feeling out every step of the way for any booby traps. Finally, she found herself at her door. She opened the door and jumped backwards, just in case something jumped out at her. Nothing did.
Nervously, she tiptoed into her room, looking around for any signs of trouble.
Splash!
A bucket of water tipped over, thoroughly drenching the unfortunate girl.
HOW DO YOU DO THAT TO A SLIDING DOOR?!
Forcing back the bubbling rage within her, Raven tore off her cloak and threw it in the pile. If she weren't going straight to bed, she'd be on her fifth cloak. Five reasons to kill that changeling tomorrow.
But for now, she needed some rest.
Raven levitated herself over her bed, and dropped into the soft comfort of her mattress.
Or she would have, if it had actually been there.
Raven fell through her bed, landing on top of a small disk-shaped object underneath it. The device broke in two, and the holographic representation of her bed flickered and disappeared.
Alright, NOW she was mad. She had half a mind to turn the Tower upside down looking for the little green twerp. Actually, forget half a mind- she was doing it right now! Raven stood up and headed towards the door before freezing in her tracks.
The holographic projector hadn't only been projecting her bed. It was projecting on her walls as well.
Her freshly painted bright pink walls.
"BEAST BOY!"
Down in the basement, a certain robotic teenager was doing his laundry, minding his own business, when all of a sudden…
"Dude, I am the Master of Disaster!"
Cyborg nearly leapt out of his skin at the voice behind him , whirling around to face a grinning green changeling.
"Man, what are you thinking? Raven is going to kill you when she finds you! I mean, silly string?"
Beast Boy climbed up on top of a washing machine, his grin growing even wider.
"Yeah, but it'll be worth it- especially when she finds my last surprise in her room!"
Cyborg's jaw dropped. Literally. He bent down to retrieve it and reattached it to his head.
"Her ROOM? Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND?!"
"Quite possibly. Oh, and I borrowed one of your holographic projector thingies-"
"YOU WHAT?!"
Just then, the pair heard a voice reverberate throughout the Tower, as if it came from the very walls themselves.
"BEAST BOY!"
Beast Boy gulped.
Cyborg gulped. And ran for the door.
Unfortunately, the room was encased in a black aura before he could make his getaway, and the cybernetic hero found himself face to face with an extraordinarily irate half-demon.
"Uh… h-h-h-hey Raven! W-w-what's up?" Cyborg nervously inquired.
She just stared at him coldly.
Beast Boy tried his hand. "So… how'd you like your room makeover?"
Cyborg spun around, his human eye bulging out of its socket.
"YOU DID WHA-AAUGH!"
A black portal opened underneath the robotic Titan's feet, sending him off to who-knows-where.
"Um, Raven? You do know he had absolutely nothing to do with anything today, right?"
Raven didn't move. The walls, still encased in the black aura, however…
"Yes."
"So… you didn't ship him off to some meatless dimension, right?"
"He's in his room."
"Ah. So, um… hi?"
At this, Raven's eyes turned red and split into four glowing orbs of malice, while a host of black tentacles erupted from underneath her cloak. In a flash, Beast Boy was suspended in midair, his mouth covered and his face inches from Raven's.
"WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?!"
Beast Boy's eyes darted around nervously before speaking through the magical gag.
"Phwry?"
At this, Raven's eyes burned even brighter, and a whole new batch of tentacles wrapped themselves around Beast Boy's helpless figure. His face was so close to hers he could almost feel the heat radiating from the demonic eyes boring into him.
"SORRY?! YOU'RE ALWAYS SORRY, AND YOU ALWAYS DO IT AGAIN! AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN! GARFIELD MARK LOGAN, YOU! ARE! NOT! SORRY!"
Wait… how did she know his full name? Oh man, this wasn't going to be good!
"But you will be."
Beast Boy gulped. Definitely not going to be good.
"I've spent this WHOLE DAY looking over my shoulder for your childish pranks, Beast Boy. From when I woke up this morning to when I TRIED to go to bed tonight! I've had it up to HERE with your juvenile behavior! Perhaps it's high time you felt what I feel!Maybe then you'll know to LEAVE. ME. ALONE."
Beast Boy's pupils shrank to pinpoints, then disappeared altogether. Seemingly satisfied with whatever she had done, Raven threw him against the back wall, which he hit with a dull "thud" before sliding down to the ground, unmoving. Raven's appearance reverted to its normal state- two violet eyes, extra cheese, hold the tentacles- and she teleported out of the laundry room.
A second passed before all the washing machines burst open, spitting their contents all over the room. If Beast Boy noticed anything, he didn't show it.
Raven heaved a sigh as she moved her bed back into her room from Beast Boy's. How he had managed to get it out of her room, much less into his, she would never know.
As she flopped onto her bed, she thought once more about Beast Boy's punishment. Maybe she was being too harsh on him- she did have a history of overreacting, after all.
Maybe I should remove the spell… no! If you don't teach him now, he'll never learn. Spare the rod, spoil the child.
She thought about it some more, and decided to appease her guilty conscience.
Alright, I'll remove it in the morning. Besides, it's just a minor fear spell. One night of mild anxiety and insomnia won't kill him. And besides, someone as cheerful and optimistic as Beast Boy can't have that much in his memories to be afraid of, can he?
With that issue resolved, she rolled over and fell asleep.
Down in the laundry room, a tiny green kitten huddled in the corner furthest from the door, mewling softly. Its wet, soapy fur gave it a very unhealthy look, but far less so than the eyes.
The eyes that darted around the room frantically, as though there were monsters in the shadows that only he could see.
M-m-mommy? D-d-daddy? Why are you crying?
The tiny wet kitten cowered even further into the corner, making itself as little as possible.
Mommy? Mommy?!
MOMMY!